Can't Leave It Alone

by Nicole Jackson

  She bit her bottom lip. “The streets have been talking.”

  “And?” he pressed, as he glanced at his Rolex.

  “And they say you the nigga with the bread out chere.” A chilling voice gritted, as he pressed a pistol to the back of his skull. “Nigga, I’m trying to get it, you heard me?”

  “Fuck,” Desmond mouthed, as he closed his eyes.

  “Fuck is right.” BG nodded. “Jada get out the car, and grab this nigga chain.”

  Slowly, she did as she was told.

  Desmond shook his head, “I knew your ass was scandalous, but this shit is ridiculous.”

  Jada couldn’t look him in the eyes, as she removed his chain from around his neck.

  “Take that watch too.” BG instructed. “And check his pockets.”

  Jada felt like a true bird, as she rummaged through her ex’s pockets like some petty hoodrat. Is this what her life had been reduced to?

  Desmond remained calm, as they robbed him. BG had taken everything, and still wasn’t satisfied. “Where’s all that mouth you bitch ass nigga?” he cocked his gun.

  “Nigga, I’m still me. A nigga you could never be.”

  “Nigga, you funny. Shit, I wouldn’t want to be you. You always the nigga getting caught with his pants down. Just like when you trusted this bitch right here. You let this hoe in your house, and she let us right in. We did your boy, his bitch, and tried to take out yo bitch.”

  “What?” Desmond clenched his teeth.

  BG pressed the gun deeper into his skin. “You heard me, muthafucka.”

  “Well, do what you gotta do, then.”

  “No!” Jada screamed. “You said that you wasn’t gonna hurt him, BG!”

  “Bitch, shut up,” he whispered harshly.

  Just then there was a click of another pistol. “Move, and I will blow your fuckin’ head off.” Flip muttered, with his gun pressed to BG’s temple. Desmond was so glad that he’d followed his first mind, and got his boy to follow him up there.

  Thinking quickly Desmond elbowed BG in the stomach, and spun away. As he was reaching for his own gun that was tucked away in his pants, he unmistakably heard Ryan’s voice. “Desmond!” she screamed.

  She was hopping out of her car, after speeding all the way there. She didn’t know what she could do to help him, if anything but she had to do something.

  Desmond whipped out his gun, and aimed it at BG, while he trained his gun on Ryan.

  “Ryan, get down!” Desmond ordered.

  “Aint this some shit?” BG chuckled. “This girl love your ass, nigga. I mean, we dumped several bullets on her ass, and here she is, still riding for you. Shit, that’s what I need. A bitch willing to die for me.” With that BG let loose, firing away.

  Flip busted at BG, but that didn’t stop him from letting off six rounds. Thinking of his rib, Desmond did the only thing that made sense to him; jumped in front of the bullets meant for his gal. After the second hot bullet entered his back, his heavy body collided into Ryan’s, sending them both tumbling to the pavement.

  His breathing was erratic, as blood poured from his mouth, “You…you the only…only thing I can’t leave alone.” Those were his last words spoken, before everything faded to black.

  The Epilogue

  Ryan stood in front of the headstone, wiping away tears. Luckily, it started to drizzle, drowning out her sorrows. “I wasn’t gonna come,” she sniffed. “Because I said that I couldn’t do this. But again…I had to face it. It’s been one wild year for me. One minute I was crying, and the next I was overjoyed. We never know what this crazy world can bring, you know? You couldn’t have paid me to believe that we didn’t have the rest of our lives together.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Aint this shit just aint fair!” she bawled. “It aint fair, man!”

  “Mama, it’s okay.” Junior grabbed her hand, attempting to comfort his mother, just like his daddy had taught him.

  She dropped down to her knees, getting them muddy. “It’s just aint fairrrrrr!”

  “I know. I know.” Demond stepped up, and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s gonna be okay, mama.”

  “Mmmm aww,” she sobbed, becoming lost in her emotions, until she felt a strong arm touch her back.

  “It’s alright, baby. Let it out.”

  His touch was calming, as she slowly settled down. Soon, all could be heard from her were sniffles. Finally, she came to her feet. “I guess…that I needed to get that out.” she breathed.

  “I feel you,” he nodded, as he gripped one of his crutches. “But you know I hate to see you cry.” He wiped a tear off her cheek. He leaned forward, kissing her lips.

  “Be careful, baby.” She warned.

  He sucked his teeth. “Ry, I got this.”

  “Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying…you just started using these crutches. After damn near eight months of you being in a wheelchair, I aint trying to have no setbacks.”

  “Yeah, okay.” He grimaced at his wife being overprotective.

  “Daddy, mama, always treating us like babies. We’re men, mama.” Desmond Junior spoke up.

  Ryan couldn’t help giggling. “You see what you’re teaching these kids?”

  Desmond smiled. “Yeah, they got it right. We’re the men.”

  “Yeah, uh huh.” Ryan nodded, realizing just how strong Desmond truly was. She could detect the sadness in his eyes. This was another year, and another birthday Bryan wasn’t there for. They were both in pain. Yes, they had accepted that he was no longer with them, but it was just something about their birthday. It had them emotional, but Desmond refused to be anything less than Ryan’s rock in the presence of his children.

  To his kids he was superman. He’d taken two bullets to the back for their mother. He’d endured months and months of physical therapy, and it had been a real struggle, but not once did they see him sweating. There wasn’t anything he couldn’t do in their eyes, and that’s what kept him going.

  He’d fought for his life, because he had so much to live for. He refused to leave Ryan and his kids behind. They needed him…more than anything else in the world. That day in Home Depot’s parking lot his life changed. He realized what truly mattered to him, and that was his family. Anybody or anything else he could walk away from, and he did. But not them. No, he was never leaving them alone.

  ******

  “Girl, all them muthafuckas are crazy,” Tericka laughed into her phone. “Yeah. Jada wasn’t that damn bad. That nigga pushed her to do a lot of that shit.” She sifted through all the mail she’d just collect from their mailbox. “I don’t give a fuck what nobody says. She aint did shit to me, and she still my girl.”

  “Girl, they say that hoe was fucking everybody.” Bell, Tericka’s cousin gossiped.

  “Well, I highly doubt that.”

  “And how do you know?”

  “Because I knew her. Just because she’s in jail, people feel like they can just throw dirt on her name. She aint here to defend herself. Now, she might have been stupid behind Desmond, but she just wasn’t letting no anybody fuck.”

  “Umm hmm,” Bell pursed her lips. “You act like you and that bitch was bumping pussies.”

  “Bitch please.” Tericka jawed, as she came across some mail addressed to Tutu. It was very rare that he received mail there, because everything was in her name. Being nosy she ripped the envelope open.

  “I’m just saying that yellow hoe was dirty.”

  “Uh huh,” Tericka absently agreed, as she read the paper. “In the matter of Dashon Brando there’s a 99.9% probability that you are the father…” the paper slipped from her hand, as her heart dropped downstairs to the neighbor’s spot. She began to hyperventilate, as she held her chest. “Tutuuuuuuuuuu!”

  Okay it’s been a minute since I’ve done this but here’s a small snippet of a novel I’m currently working on:

  Two Lost Souls

  Shooting Blindly into the Dark

  Chapter 1

  Black Reign
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br />   “Look at all that ass!”

  “Nigga, fuck you!” I lashed. Toke worked my damn nerves! He was always hanging on the block in the exact same spot. It was the same shit, just a different day.

  “Black Reign, come here, though.” He beckoned with a head gesture. I shook my head, and kept it moving, down the sidewalk.

  “Black Reign, be switching hard, like somebody wants her lil’ dusty ass.”

  I spun around so fast my damn twenty inch ponytail nearly flew off my head. “Who dusty?!”

  Kaydoa’s bitch ass stood holding his sagging jeans up with his left hand, chuckling. “Yo ass.”

  “Yeah, just like ya mammy, wit her fat ass!” I spewed.

  “Bitch, what?” he growled, as he moved towards me.

  “Naw, chill out.” Toke grabbed his arm. “Let her make it, main.”

  “Yeah, come on, Black Reign.” Dookey Baby grabbed my shoulder.

  “I’ma get Tron for his ass, watch.” I grumbled, as we tracked down the sidewalk. “Wit his weak ass. I bet ya if he didn’t keep that pistol wit him all these niggas would be getting in his shit.”

  Dookey Baby sighed heavily. “Bitch, I don’t know. That boy is crazy. He don’t be just carrying them guns for nothing. They’re saying that he killed some niggas from Coke Street.”

  I sucked my teeth. “Man, fuck him and them Coke niggas.”

  “Yeah, fuck ‘em.” Dookey Baby shrugged.

  “That nigga ran me hot.” I complained, as I rubbed the back of my neck. The damn gel on the back of my hair had melted, and was leaving brown residue on my hand. “Got the back of my hair fucking up.”

  Dookey Baby eyed my hair. “Naw, bitch…that shit was already fucked up.”

  I stopped, and stood with my hands on my hips, giving her my best bowlegged profile. “You got me fucked up.”

  She placed a fist to her mouth as she giggled. “Bitch, get off the gas.”

  “I am so serious.” I daintily tossed my Chinese bang off my eye. I was about to go into full clown mode when my cell vibrated in my hand. I glanced down at the screen, and noticed Mr. Cee calling me. Damn, I didn’t want to be bothered with his old ass. I mean, he wasn’t old old, but he was forty-three, while I was a mere seventeen. Something about him always made me feel dirty, but…I needed to pay my cell phone bill that day.

  “Hello.” I answered.

  “Hey, mama, I’m trying to see you. Let daddy come get you in a few.” He breathed into the phone.

  “And do what?” I cut straight to the chase.

  “You already know. I want yo sexy ass to sit on daddy’s face.”

  I cringed at the thought. “Umm…” I bit my bottom lip. “I guess you can pick me up from my house in about a hour. Is that cool?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be there.”

  “Okay.” I ended the call.

  “That must’ve been a old skool, cause yo ass don’t seem too excited.” Dookey Baby assumed.

  “Hell yeah.” I pursed my lips. For a second I really considered going to find a job. I mean, having to depend on these broke ass niggas to make it was for the birds. Whoever thought that dick chasing was a full-time job was a damn fool.

  No, I wasn’t the baddest bitch walking through the hood. Nah, my hair wasn't down to my ass, either. Wasn't shit fancy about me. My hair was short as fuck, and I kept a weave ponytail and Chinese bang working. I have a copper brown complexion. I didn’t wear make-up, but ya girl had a body out of this world. I was known for having one of the biggest asses in the hood. I was thick with it too, wearing a healthy size twelve. But still the stomach was flat, and the waist was thin. My breasts were handfuls; just enough to hold. I had real thick thighs and a set of extreme bowlegs. Several niggas claimed that I had one of the meanest walks around, and I had to agree. Me in a pair of booty shorts was enough to make the strongest nigga’s knees weak.

  So, no, I didn’t have a problem in the men department. My problem was that I was financially challenged. My mama was holding it down over there at Mickey D’s, slanging burgers for minimum wage. We lived in some small projects called Rose Plaza, in Fifth Ward and I shared a room with my brother and sister. After my mama paid her car note on her Toyota Camry and the bills she didn’t have shit to give. Yeah, we had food in the crib, and all the necessities, but anything more was on us.

  My brother, Lil’ Coop was sixteen, and a real hard head. That nigga had basically dropped out of school, and was slanging rocks full time. My sister Ryah was nineteen, and already had a five year old. She and her baby stayed with us too. She didn’t work, and was always moving back and forth from her baby daddy’s mama’s house. The good thing about her situation was that her BD Lil’ Kelly actually took care of his responsibility, so my niece didn’t want for shit. Lil’ Kelly was always breaking bread, and my sister benefited regardless of their relationship. She was gonna keep that hair tight, and she kept new clothes on her body. It didn’t matter to me, though, because I couldn’t fit the bitch’s shit. She wore a size seven, and was selfish as fuck. I could wear her shoes and shit, but she wasn’t letting that happen. Therefore, I had to get it how I live.

  It wasn’t like the men in the hood was throwing money at me left and right. Really, I didn’t ask for much. All I needed was my cell phone bill paid, money to buy a ponytail, and a pair of Jordans here and there, and I was good. Shit, but even getting that could be a challenge at times. That’s why I wasn’t above hitting up a store or two, and taking whatever the fuck I needed. At one point I had been quite reckless with the whole shoplifting thing, but catching two cases back to back had slowed me down. The first time I did a few days in the Harris County jail, but the next time my ass did three months. The damn Roman noodles they issued on commissary had swelled my ass up, but I wasn’t trying to go back.

  Since I wasn’t about to spend any more time on lock down I had to deal with these bullshit ass men. The niggas my age were a no-go, because lame hoes were fucking it up for everybody. Dudes didn’t have to shell out cash when their broads were doing that. Shit, I aint have nothing to give to a grown ass nigga, but the fuck you finger. Then the older men wanted you to smile in their face, and pretend that his ass aint old enough to be your daddy. But hey, I did what I had to do.

  “There his bitch ass go.” I sighed, sitting on the stairs in front of my apartment building. It was nine o’clock at night, and Mr. Cee was just pulling up. I was supposed to go to school the next day, but that shit was seeming less likely by the second.

  “Have fun.” Dookey Baby teased, with her messy ass. She was my frail ass friend who never fucked with niggas. She was simple in every sense of the word, and most boys overlooked her. Still, she was my girl, and was always being funny.

  “Fuck you.” I stood up, and dusted off my ass. I switched down the steps, and made my way to Mr. Cee’s Explorer. I quickly hopped in, and he pulled off.

  “What’s up?” he smiled, revealing all those gold teeth.

  “Nothing.”

  “Oh yeah?” he licked his lips, while he gripped the steering wheel. That nigga thought that he was cooler than a muthafucka. I mean, he wasn’t bad looking or anything, but he wasn’t that guy. He was dark chocolate and covered in tattoos. His taper fade was always neat and he had all that gold in his mouth. I heard he used to be a wild nigga a few years back, but now he worked a regular nine to five. Somebody like my mama would’ve been glad to holler at him, but I didn’t see him like that. It was primarily because his ass was just so nasty behind closed doors.

  Mr. Cee was so…I don’t know. He…he knew how to eat my pussy until I was about to pass out. He would lick my ass, and then he’d fuck the holy shit out of me. The problem was that I always felt dirty afterward. Shit, he was older than my mama, and I would be embarrassed to call him my man in front of my friends at school. I would just look like a young hoe, getting fucked by a old ass man. The picture wasn't nice. In fact, the shit was ugly, but life had shown me a long time ago that aint shit pretty.

  “
Yeah, give me a few. I’ll be home in a minute.” He talked on his cell, as we entered the motel room. He moved around the room, wearing his blue work uniform. It was oily, and I could smell it from where I was standing.

  I took my usual position on the edge of the bed, and quietly waited for him to wrap his conversation up.

  “Alright, bye.” He finally hung up. He then stomped over to me, gripped my hands, and pulled me to my feet. We traded positions, and he sat on the bed. “Damn, this ass is so fat.” He moaned, as he palmed my butt.

  I rolled my eyes to the ceiling, as he slowly undressed me. Soon, I stood before him completely naked, and he fell back. “Come ride my face, baby.”

  Robotically, I climbed in bed, and straddled his face. I rolled my hips, as he maneuvered his tongue between my pussy lips. It wasn’t long before my eyes were rolling into the back of my head, and I was riding the shit out of his face. I bucked my hips, as he gripped my waist.

  For a few seconds, I became lost within the feeling. His tongue was finessing the hell out of my clit. That was until I glanced at the mirror to the left of us, and saw myself. I quickly diverted my eyes in shame. Still, seconds later I was cumming all over his face.

  “Ugh!” I squeezed my eyes tight, as I rode the wave. “Shit,” I fell back, but he didn’t release my thighs. He continued to lick my clitoris, driving me crazy.

  It wasn’t long before I was mounting him, just the way he wanted. I made sure to tighten my muscles around him, all while imagining some fantasy nigga closer to my age. I popped my booty as my titties bounced. I zoned out on him.

  “Aw shit! Aw shit!” he gritted as he slapped my ass.

  Even though, it was feeling good I was ready for it to be over. So I did my signature move on him, dropping into a Chinese split on his dick.

  “Umm.” He crooned, as he let loose into his condom. I gazed down at him, watching him screw his face up, looking all ugly and shit. I waved my head, as I hopped off him.

  “Umm, that pussy so yummy.” He licked his lips, as he sat up in bed.