Can't Leave It Alone

by Nicole Jackson

  “So fuckin’ what she calling my phone?” he bellowed. “Just like you did your thing when I wasn’t around…the same thing goes for me. Me and her had a thing, and she keeps in touch. And?”

  “You’re sick,” she curled her lips.

  “What?” he licked his lips.

  “You played an instrumental role in her in sister’s death, and then you turn around and fuck her? You narcissistic asshole!”

  “Bitch, shut the fuck up!” he lashed. “Stop pretending! It’s just me and you here. Yeah, you put up that front for your cousins and shit, but I know the real you. Wasn’t it you who left that back window open for us in the first place?”

  Jada cringed, hating to be reminded of her misdeeds. “But it was never supposed to go that far!”

  He snarled, “As if you really gave a fuck. All you was concerned with was revenge. You was mad that your girl, Tricie, was fucking your nigga! That’s all it was about. So, stop the bullshit!”

  Jada’s chest heaved up and down. Yes, it was true. Tricie was her friend. She’d brought her around Bryan a few times, but she was supposed to be for De-De. But he was so far up Ryan’s ass that he didn’t have time to dabble with another chick. Still, Tricie hung out with her and Bryan. Then one day a mutual friend tells her that Tricie was seen riding around with Bryan without her. She was hurt, and quickly confronted them both, separately. Tricie offered apologies, but also confessed to loving Bryan. Bryan was far less apologetic, and outwardly refused to stop seeing Tricie. Jada was given the choice of dealing with it, or moving around. She chose the latter.

  When BG approached her about helping them get at Desmond and Bryan she was all for it. She was bitter, and wanted a little revenge. She really didn’t know how far things would go, but at the time that didn’t matter.

  Her eyes glistened with tears. “But I aint pulled no triggers, Brody.”

  “Oh, but you did. You placed that smoking gun in our hands. That’s what your snake ass do.”

  “No,” she waved her head, as her lips quivered.

  “Yea, you know,” he inched closer. “And you gonna do it again.”

  “No, I won’t.” she refused.

  He reached back and punched her. Her body hit the floor with a thud. “Hoe, that wasn’t a request!” he stalked back and forth. “It’s fucking hunting season. And I’ll use your worthless ass as bait if I got to. Bitch, I’ma eat.”

  Chapter 23

  “Ooh daddy, can I get this?”

  Desmond glanced down at Junior. Physically his children were all him, but damn if they didn’t all have their mother’s spoiled ways.

  “Get what?” he quizzed, as they all stood in the middle of the Gucci store in the Galleria mall.

  “Those shades.” Little De-De pointed.

  “Man…” Desmond chuckled. “Those glasses are for adults. They don’t fit your little peanut head.”

  “But I can grow into them.” Junior persisted.

  “They are cute. Shit, I think I want those.” Ryan spoke up, as she leaned on the girls’ double stroller.

  Desmond cut his eyes at her. “You just like these kids. Want everything you see.”

  She poked out her bottom lip. “So, I can’t get them?”

  He exhaled with a grin. “Of course.”

  “Muah.” She kissed his lips. “I know.”

  “Umm hmm,” he moaned, as he slapped her ass.

  It was Sunday, and they’d been shopping for hours. Desmond had been busy hustling in the streets, and his compromise was to have family day every Sunday no matter what. For the most part it kept Ryan content, or so he thought.

  Ryan never pictured herself as the stay at home mom type, but that’s exactly what she’d become. But she refused to look at it as a long-term situation. Her desire to do more was becoming more intense with each passing day. She knew that there was far more to her than being a wife, which she wasn’t yet technically, and a mother. She needed to get back on track, and see where Desmond saw himself in the near future.

  “Baby, can I get this scarf too?” Ryan asked just to make it sound good. She and Desmond both knew that she could have whatever she wanted, but she loved hearing him tell her yes over and over.

  De-De eyed his fiancé, as she stood with her hands on her hips. Her long hair was straightened with a part down the middle. She wore white shorts with a white frilly blouse, accessorized with Louie loafers, bag, and belt. “Come’ere,” he grabbed the loop of her shorts, and pulled her in, tonguing her down.

  “Ewe, daddy. Yall nasty.” Demond teased.

  Ryan pulled away giggling. “Boy, shut up.”

  After racking up a four thousand dollar bill, Desmond pulled out a fat knot paying for everything Ryan wanted. As they were leaving the store he wrapped his arms around her waist, while she pushed the girls in the stroller. Demond and Junior strolled alongside them, begging to stop at every other store.

  A pack of hoodrats were switching past them, when one came to an abrupt stop. “Hey, excuse me.” She called out.

  Desmond glanced back at her, trying to place her face.

  “I’ve been looking for you.” She stepped up to him.

  Ryan’s eyes examined the yellow girl from head to toe, concluding that she wasn’t nearly Desmond’s type. Her weave seemed a bit nappy, and she was wearing a cheap fitted dress from Rainbow. Government check recipient might as well been stamped on her forehead.

  “Nah,” he waved his head. “I don’t know you.”

  “Yeah, you do.” She nodded. “You was the last person seen with my friend, before she was killed.”

  He frowned. “Your friend? Who the fuck is your friend?”

  “Leslie,” she revealed.

  Still, the name didn’t register with him. “Leslie? I don’t know a Leslie.”

  “Yes you do. We was at the Roxy. Remember?”

  “Ooh, okay. Yeah, I kind of remember her.” He played it off. “You say she was killed?” he pretended to be shocked.

  Ryan watched the exchange closely. The yellow hoodrat didn’t know him that well, but she knew for a fact that he was lying. It was written all over his face.

  “Yeah, she was. It was all over the news.”

  “Damn,” he breathed. “That’s fucked up.”

  “Daddy, let’s go.” Demond whined.

  “Okay,” Desmond nodded.

  The girl snarled. “Yeah, we been looking for you.” She glanced at Ryan and then his kids. “You and your little family better be on the lookout.”

  Ryan was in her face in a flash. “You threatening us?”

  “You heard me.” The girl snaked her neck.

  “Bitch!” Ryan big faced her, sending her flying to the floor. “You don’t know me!”

  “Hey, hey, come on, man. We got these kids here.” He reminded her, as he dragged her away from the scene.

  “Nuh uh!” a few chicks who were with the yellow girl shouted. “Bitch, you got us fucked up!” they attempted to run up on Ryan.

  Desmond spun around, and casually lifted his shirt, revealing his Nina, halting the women in their tracks. “You bitches don’t want it.” He warned. Quickly, the broads retreated, as Des and his family powered walked to their car.

  “This shit is crazy.” Ryan vented once they were back in the car, and on the road. “It’s always something. What the fuck was that about, De-De?”

  He scratched the side of his neck. “It’s a long story, Ry.”

  “You met that girl at the club, and she tried you?”

  When he didn’t answer she knew that her assumption was correct.

  “Umm umm umm,” she shook her head.

  He cut his eyes at her. “There you go.”

  “Nah,” she waved her head. “Nigga, this shit here been a long time coming.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded, with her lips tucked in. “I was just about to talk to you about all this.” She waved her hands around. “I mean…how long do your plan to live this way?” />
  “What way?” he frowned.

  “Dangling on the fucking edge!” she snapped. “Drama at every muthafuckin’ turn, nigga!”

  “You act like I go looking for that shit!” he barked, frightening the kids, who all began to cry.

  “You know…” she glanced back at her children. “Let’s talk about this when we get home.”

  “Yeah, okay.” He mumbled.

  The drive back to the burbs was a long one, giving them both time to think. By the time they had the kids settled in, and all the shopping bags put away tempers had cooled. This was a day that Ryan had been secretly dreading. So much with them had happened so quickly that they never really had time to fully address the issues that led to Ryan leaving Desmond. Years ago, she was adamant about leaving the lifestyle he led behind. But when he re-entered her life she was momentarily blinded by their love. But now…the smoke had cleared, and it was back to reality.

  Desmond was very much so still hustling, and they were well versed on the dangers that could bring. Ryan hated that he was still in the game, but was horrified of losing him. No female walking this green earth was capable of breaking them apart. Her only competition was the streets. The game was his mistress, and sometimes she wasn’t sure that if she pushed him to choose that she’d come out victorious. Being a street nigga was all he knew, and Ryan was nearly convinced that he’d refused to be anything else.

  “Why you looking like that?” Desmond questioned, as he sat next to her on the couch.

  “I was just thinking,” she sighed, as she felt his cell vibrate in his pocket.

  “Hold up,” he halted her, removing his phone from his pocket. There was an unknown name calling him. It had to be Jada. Since blocking her number, she’d been calling from random phones. Each time he answered she pleaded with him to meet her, claiming that she had something important to tell him. “This bitch here.” He griped.

  “Jada again?” Ryan quizzed.

  “Yeah,” he sighed, sending the call to voicemail. “This hoe been calling me non-stop for two days now. This shit is really getting out of hand. This is literally the fiftieth time she called me today.”

  “Well, what is she saying?”

  “I don’t know. Some shit about I need to meet up with her. She got something important to tell me.”

  She glared at him. “It better not be something about her being pregnant.”

  He sucked his teeth. “Man, get the fuck out of here. I wouldn’t fuck her if somebody paid me to.”

  “Yeah, okay.” She pursed her lips.

  “But anyway,” he placed a hand on her thigh. “Tell daddy what’s on your mind.”

  Ryan loudly exhaled. “I’m feeling more and more like this is all dejavu. This whole spending money like its water, pretending that we aint got a care in the world. Like niggas aint waiting to catch you slipping. Like we aint susceptible to grimy muthafuckas out here in the streets who don’t give a fuck. We already know that neither one of us are invincible. Shit gets real out there. So real that I now have three bullet wounds on my body. So real that I left everything behind because I was afraid for my kids’ life. The stakes are higher now, Desmond. We got four kids,” she lifted her hand, exhibiting four fingers. “And I swear on my brother’s grave that I rather be broke for the rest of my life, before I’m the one who singlehandedly places them in the face of danger.”

  “So…so…so, what are you saying?” he stuttered.

  “I’m no fool. So, I won’t tell you to leave the game alone today. But I need to know if you have an exit plan, and if so how soon?”

  “So,” he blinked. “If I aint hustling…then what I’ma do?”

  “Live! That’s what you’ll be doing. Have a better quality of life that don’t involve you constantly looking over your shoulders.”

  “Man…” he got out, as his cell vibrated again. He sent the call to voicemail, only for her to hang up, and call right back.

  “And answer that. I wanna hear what that bitch is talking about.” She demanded.

  He cut his eyes at her. “Who you talking to like that?”

  She softened up a bit. “Baby, answer it.”

  With his eyes glued to her, he finally picked up. “Yeah?”

  “De-De, I need you to meet me.” Jada sounded desperate.

  “For what, man?”

  “I…I…I can’t really talk about it over the phone.”

  He sucked his teeth. “Get the fuck out of here with that shit.”

  “I’m serious. Come on just meet me. It don’t gotta be at my house. We…we can meet at the Home Depot on 610.”

  Desmond studied Ryan, until she gave him a slight head nod. “Alright, look, gimmie a hour.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you there.” She hung up.

  “I’m going,” Ryan quickly offered.

  “Nah, you not coming this time.” He waved his head.

  “And why not?” she pressed.

  “Because man,” his head fell back, as he stared at the ceiling. “You know how you are.” He focused on her. “I’m trying to see what this bird talking about. And you being there would just stir up some shit. The moment I see she’s on that bullshit I’m out. Real talk.”

  “I guess,” she rolled her eyes, knowing that he was right. “What do you think she’s talking about? She got dirt on you?”

  He thought it over. She knew a little. “No more than any other nigga in the streets knows. I never let her see too much.”

  “What if she’s a snitch?”

  He shrugged. “Snitches get stitches.”

  “Whatever,” she sighed. “You better watch that bitch.”

  “I’ma do that, anyway.” He stood up.

  She glanced up at him. “But Desmond,”

  “Yeah?”

  “You be careful. And I really want you to think about what we just discussed.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “The game…can you leave it alone?”

  ******

  “You know this is their last can of Similac?” Lisa asked, as she fed Bri.

  “Damn!” Ryan vented. “I knew I was forgetting something.” She hopped off the couch. “Let me run to the store, and grab some milk.”

  “Okay,” Lisa nodded. “You know I got the kids.”

  “Cool,” Ryan raced upstairs, and slid her loafers back on. She grabbed her keys, phone, and purse, and headed back downstairs. “I’ll be right back.” She announced, as she jogged out of the door.

  “Where the fuck is your mind, girl?” she mumbled, as she slid in her Benz. Since Wal-Mart was just a couple of blocks over she headed there. “Shit, I might as well buy some food while I’m here too.” She thought aloud, as she pulled into Wal-Mart’s parking lot. After combing the aisles for a spot, she found one, and swiftly hopped out of the car.

  Ryan was barely in the door of the store when she recognized an old friend. “LaPorsha,” she smiled.

  LaPorsha spun around. “Ryan!” she gasped, as she ran over, embracing her girl. “Where the hell have you been?”

  “Out here.” Ryan giggled. “What you doing out here?”

  “Girl, after I graduated I moved out here with my cousins. Been here ever since.”

  “No shit?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Damn, it feels good to see you.”

  “I know.” LaPorsha smiled. “I hated when you just hopped up and moved. I was like ‘where is my friend’.”

  “I know,” Ryan lowered her head.

  “And that De-De started clowning after you left. I mean, he was terrorizing niggas.”

  “I heard.”

  “But I swear you gonna live a long time, because I was just talking about you.”

  “For what?” Ryan lifted a brow.

  “I ran into Jada’s busted up ass, and I remembered that she used to fuck with your brother…and De-De after you left.”

  “Yeah, that bitch is scandalous.”

  “I know, right?” LaPorsha agreed. “But I
always wondered how that slick bitch was able to fuck with all them niggas and nobody looked at her crazy.”

  “Shit, they did.”

  “Nah, not in my eyes. Cause she’s back with BG, and it was a rumor going around that De-De had did all his boys.”

  “BG? That nigga still alive and kicking?” Ryan asked in shock. She remembered that he used to hang out with Botany, and when Desmond claimed that he laid down the whole crew she just naturally assumed that included BG. They’d never discussed the situation at length to know otherwise.

  “Yeah, that nigga alive. I believe he had just gotten locked up the same night all his friends ended up dead.”

  “And wait a minute…did you say that him and Jada were back together? I’m confused, because I never knew that she fucked with him period.”

  LaPorsha’s eyes bucked. “Bitch, you lying. Yall didn’t know that?”

  “Hell no.”

  “Well, I always felt that it was a little strange that Tricie was her damn best friend, but she didn’t show up to the funeral.”

  This was too much for her, as Ryan gripped the tip of her nose. “Hell no! Tell me that you playing. Tricie and Jada didn’t know each other.”

  “Yes they did, Ry. We all went to school together.”

  “Okay…so, let me get this straight. BG used to fuck with Jada before Bryan did. Jada and Tricie were friends and both fucking my brother. BG was fucking with the niggas that tried to kill me. For all I know he could’ve been there too. And all this time Jada’s bitch ass is this nigga’s ex? And you say that they’re back together…now.” As she spoke those last words it dawned on her. “Oh my God, Desmond!”

  ******

  Jada smiled, as she watched Desmond ease out of his car. As usual he was fresh, wearing everything Lacoste. The piece and chain around his neck was shining, even under the moonlight. “I see you made it.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” He swaggered over to the car she sat in. It was a late model Honda, and right then he knew that she was doing badly. “What was so important that you just had to meet me?”