Ex Fumo Gaudiam

by Nobilis Reed

  The screams that had accompanied Livia’s initial abduction were gone. Instead, she glared at me, every blink an accusation. Here is where I pay for my sins, I thought, praying with all my heart that Lord Mithras would forgive me.

  As we traveled, Wotanake’s canoe and the one I occupied stayed more-or-less side by side, no more than a couple paces away, but never terribly close. At first, he watched me, smiling, obviously enjoying my humiliation immensely. When I glanced at Livia and spoke a word or two to ask how she was doing, Wotanake’s attention shifted.

  “Are all stone canoe women weak?” he asked.

  “Not weak,” I said. “They...” I searched for a word. “Treasures.”

  He laughed again. “You not keep treasure well!”

  “Yes, Wotanake. I not watch. Your friends steal my treasure. Your friends steal me.”

  His eyes drifted back to Livia. “I watch better than you,” he said. “Yesterday, Mara-koosa, I send canoe, tell your camp send Makkitotosimew. Today I like this woman better than Makkitotosimew. She not scratch, not bite. Strong man keeps great treasure.”

  I shuddered. Livia looked at me, fear clouding her eyes, but I dared not tell her what was in store. Whatever happened, I had to get her away before we reached his settlement.

  “Mara-koosa, I speak truth, I seek Makkitotosimew every day. Every man trade with us knows I seek Makkitotosimew. I tell all my men I have her back. Now...I keep this one.”

  I glanced around at the warriors nearby. This didn’t make them any happier. One of them spoke up in their own language, but Wotanake silenced him with a shout.

  The chief seemed done with talking for a while, so I just sat and watched the men, gauging their attitudes, picking out which were most dissatisfied with what was going on. To have such obvious grumbling in his ranks, Wotanake must not have been much of a leader. It looked like the only thing that was still holding the band together was the personal honor of the warriors themselves. If I wasn’t fooling myself with false hope, it would not take much to set them against him.

  As night began to fall, we reached the mouth of the little river. It was a spot I recognized! This was a place I had named Quintus Bay for the five huge trees at its head. We were only a few stadia from where Livia and I had been captured! If I could somehow get to her, get her secretly into one of those canoes and away, we might just be able to escape. It would be a long trip in such a small craft, but definitely worth trying.

  Wotanake ordered the canoes pulled to shore on a broad expanse of brown sand. Mats and tents were pulled from the canoes and erected with speed and precision, and food and water passed around. Livia and I were kept under close watch while all this was happening, though nobody thought to tie us up.

  Under a starlit sky, Wotanake had us brought to the fire where he sat on a convenient rock like it was a throne. He waved his hand at us, declaiming loudly to the men clustered around him. They shook their heads and grumbled. Wotanake shouted back at them. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but it was clear that he was trying to get his men under control.

  Sensing that there might be an opening, I raised my own voice against his. “Great Wotanake!” I said, in the voice of command. “This woman and I are your prisoners. Tell us your plan.”

  Wotanake frowned at the interruption. He started to speak, but one of his underlings cut him off. “Is woman your wife? You speak of her but do not say ‘wife.’”

  “Stupid!” said Wotanake. “He not say wife. She not his wife!”

  I didn’t know which side of the question would be in my interest, but I decided that I could do worse than make Wotanake a liar. With a silent oath to Mithras, I took Livia’s hand in mine and said, “This woman my wife.”

  Silence…and then the men began shouting. Wotanake shot me a suspicious look before rising from his seat and shouted them into silence. “Mara-koosa! If this is your wife, then you make proof.”

  I glanced at the men around him. They weren’t ready to crack—not yet, but they were close. “How do I prove this, Wotanake?”

  “You and this woman take tent. If she not shout your name, then she not your wife, you liar. You die. If she shout your name, then she wife. I send canoe, trade you for Makkitotosimew.”

  Before I could protest, we were led to a small shelter made from saplings bent over and lashed together and draped with animal skins. The space inside was dark and smelly, but a woven mat had been laid down over the sand with a blanket on top of that. As soon as we were inside, the flap was dropped and I sat down in the middle of the little space.

  “Alright, Marcus Amandus, what is going on here?” Livia growled as she sat down beside me.

  With as much delicacy as I could muster, I explained the situation. I was to get her to cry my name in ecstasy to prove she was my wife.

  She did not take it well. She shrieked at me and slapped at my head and shoulders while encouragement and ridicule filled the air outside.

  At least she couldn’t understand them.

  When she finally calmed down enough to talk, I took her shoulders in my hands and pressed my forehead to hers. “Livia. Our lives are at stake here. I need you to gradually fake the sounds of lovemaking. If you don’t do it, I’m going. To. Be. Killed.”

  “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing Marcus Amandus, but I won’t play along. This whole situation is absurd! How can you expect me to believe this preposterous story?”

  “Because you have to be my wife!”

  My eyes, adjusting to the gloom, could just make out the shape of her face. The fury drained out of her, and in a quiet voice, she said, “You’re serious.”

  “Whatever else may happen, Livia, you are my wife. I do not wish any harm upon you. All I have done since you arrived has been to serve you, to keep you happy and healthy. I have made mistakes, I know...but if we are to survive, then I need you to cooperate with me.”

  “Alright, Marcus.” She took in a deep breath, and let it out, and pulled her tunic up over her head. “Do what you need to do.” With a sigh, she laid down on her back by my side.

  Rolling down next to her I said, “This wasn’t how I had imagined our wedding night,” I said.

  “Well, I’m a lot less drunk than I had planned.”

  I found her belly and stroked it with my hand, navigating in the dark. “Less drunk?”

  “My mother said it’s easier to get through that way.”

  “You say it like it’s an ordeal.”

  She sighed. “You wouldn’t understand. You’re a man.”

  I knew better. From my nights with Makki and Hilaria, I had learned that it was possible for a woman to enjoy sex. My life now depended on teaching Livia a lesson I barely knew myself. With a touch as gentle as I could manage, I brought my fingers up to her breast and gathered it in my hand, leaving a small space where I could bend down and deliver a tender kiss. I presented another kiss to its mate, and then one on her lips. “How will you ever endure this torture?” I asked, in a quiet voice.

  She snorted, but said nothing.

  I remembered how Hilaria had touched me; how Makki had touched me, and let that memory guide my hand. Slowly, I moved my hand down, across her stomach to the smooth cleft at the junction of her legs, while I returned my lips to her quivering breast.

  She gasped as my finger parted her, and I stopped with only the barest tip of my finger there. “I am a virgin, Marcus. I swear it.”

  “I know.”

  “You don’t have to check.”

  “I’m not checking, Livia.” I slid in a little further, seeking after the tender, complex flesh that I knew would bring her pleasure. There was no need to penetrate her and break her hymen. In fact, it would be bad to leave blood on this “marriage bed” as it could be interpreted as evidence of a lie. So I kept my fingers clear of it, focusing instead on the skin just surrounding.

  “Marcus,” she said, her voice hitching slightly, “What are you doing?”

  I shushed her and gave her a
light kiss on the lips. “Just relax. I promise I won’t hurt you.”

  “They’re listening to us.”

  “Try to pretend they’re not there.”

  I felt a shudder pass through her body as I speckled her neck with kisses. There was a spot just under her ear that was particularly sensitive. I licked it and was rewarded with a little giggle; I took a nibbling bite, and received a deep moan for my efforts.

  “Marcus!”

  “I’m here.”

  “I’m afraid.”

  “I would never hurt you, Livia. Trust me.”

  “Trust you?”

  “Yes.” I bit her again, and redoubled the movements of my hand. I slid one arm under her body and pulled her up.

  She wrapped her arms around me, whimpering, shaking. Little spasms tightened her stomach, each one accompanied by a short exhalation followed by a tiny, gasping breath. “Marcus,” she said, barely able to speak, “What...what are you...doing to me?”

  “Hush,” I said. “Don’t worry about what to call it. Let go and enjoy it.”

  A strong shudder shook her body. I pulled back to look into her eyes, and saw the tears there. “Marcus!”

  “Let it go, Livia. Let it go.”

  “Marcuuuuuus!”

  A cheer went up outside the tent.

  Chapter 4

  WOTANAKE WAS NOT PLEASED. I emerged from the tent, leaving Livia spent and asleep, to find the chieftain pacing around the campfire, snapping at anyone who came near. Finally, he sat on his rock and pointed at me. “Mara-koosa! Come. I speak.”

  The warriors under his command gathered around as I approached. The disgruntlement I had seen before in their faces had grown. This would be a deciding moment, I was sure. Their loyalty hung by the slenderest thread.

  “I am here, Wotanake,” I said. “I hear what you say.”

  “Your woman did not shout your name last night. I listen, my warriors listen.”

  The men grumbled and looked at each other in disbelief.

  “Wotanake, I say you lie. I hear it. Your warriors hear it,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “You lie.”

  “I do not, Ma-ra-koo-sa!” He pronounced the name slowly and carefully. “The woman shout ‘Mar-kass!’ She does not know you well to speak your name wrong.”

  I shook my head. “We say you lie, Wotanake.” I looked around at the warriors watching. That was the moment to act, to turn them against him.

  “No more talk!” He pointed to one of his warriors, one of the few who was not unhappy with the decision, and barked an order. The man nodded and came for me.

  I stepped sideways to stay out of the man’s reach and swept my arms at the gathered warriors. “You all know this lie! You all hear Great Wotanake break his word! You follow him? I say he is no chief! He brings evil on your families!”

  Wotanake stood up, grabbed a war-club and brought it down on the rock. “I am Wotanake!” He shouted and railed in his tongue. The warriors looked at each other, looked at me, and finally turned away. The chief’s bully-boy approached me again.

  Livia screamed and bolted from the hut where she had been sleeping. A warrior caught her and pinned her arms behind her back. She wailed and cried. “No! Marcus! Oh, Gods, stop!” She thrashed and bucked but her captor was far too strong.

  “Livia!” I shouted, and started towards her, but more warriors interposed themselves, spears pointed at my chest.

  Another warrior stepped in front of Wotanake’s delegate. “I do this. I and my brothers take him away. Your new wife does not see.”

  Wotanake smiled and nodded. He spoke, clearly confirming the plan, and the three warriors surrounded me, grabbed my arms, and frog marched me toward the canoes. I struggled until one of the men whispered in my ear, “Do not fear.”

  I shouted back. “Livia! I will be back!”

  One of the warriors cuffed me on the head. “No speak! Wotanake commands!” he shouted in the trade language, and then whispered, “Do not fear, Mara-koosa.”

  “No man harms her,” I replied, through gritted teeth. “Wotanake is a beast.”

  “He will not. Marriage ritual first. Then feast.”

  I looked into their eyes. They were as impassive as ever. They could be tricking me into going peacefully to my execution, or they truly were saving me from Wotanake’s twisted justice.

  There was no choice but to go with their plan. I made a token resistance, but the three men quickly overpowered me, dragged me to the canoe, and began paddling away. As soon as we were out of sight of the camp, they turned back to shore and motioned for me to get out.

  One of them, the tallest of the three, said, “Make shout like you die. We tell Wotanake you food for crows.”

  “I take Livia,” I said, stepping out of the canoe.

  “Stone Boat Woman is alone tonight. She not move from hut. Come at sunset, take her away.”

  “Wotanake? Will he be there? Give me your knife, I kill him.”

  “I keep knife. Wotanake not see knife, he know. Do not fear. We have belly-fire to give him and to his friends.”

  “Belly-fire?”

  “You drink, it make fire in belly, you are sleepy and stupid.”

  I nodded. It wasn’t legal to sell brandy-wine to the natives, but it happened anyway. For once I was glad to learn that the prohibition had been broken.

  “Now, Mara-koosa...no. Mar-koos. That is your true name, yes?”

  “Yes. What is yours?”

  “I am Narosapa. Mar-koos, it is time for you to scream. It must be quick.”

  I thought for a minute, took a deep breath, and began my performance: “No! Wait! Stop! AAIIAAAUGH!”

  In the distance, I could hear scattered shouts of triumph, and a single scream of despair. I hated to put Livia through this turmoil, but it was the only way to save her from Wotanake’s attentions.

  The warrior nodded and made a crooked smile. And then, without another word, he turned, shoved his canoe back out into the water, and paddled back in the direction of the camp.

  Going slowly and cautiously in the unfamiliar forest, I circled back around to the river and from there made my way downstream to the edge of the camp. Every step seemed to take an eternity. I would not allow that barbarian to put his hands on Livia. Wotanake had not posted any lookouts, or if he had, they were not at their posts for I was able to make it to the edge of the forest without much effort. I found a convenient laurel bush, its leaves still thick and green in spite of the season, and lay down to watch and wait.

  I could see the middle of the camp where a fire with a large copper pot hung from a wooden tripod. A dozen natives danced in a circle, hopping and spinning around a colorful blanket to the sounds coming from a pair of drums. There was someone under it, and judging from the focus of the proceedings, I knew it was very likely to be Livia. There was no movement, but it made sense that it was her.

  After a few minutes, Wotanake appeared, stripped to the waist and painted all over with their white, red, and black paint, highlighting the battle scars on his chest and arm. He joined in the dance, weaving between the capering men, until at last he stopped, standing at the edge of the blanket. The drumming and dancing came to an abrupt halt and the men all stood mute while Wotanake pulled up one edge of the blanket and laid down under it.

  For a moment I worried that the warriors had tricked me and I was about to witness Livia’s brutal violation right there in front of me, but the drums instantly kicked to life and several men pulled Wotanake out from under the blanket and handed him a jug of brandy-wine, which he eagerly sampled. While thus distracted, more men slipped Livia out from under her blanket and took her to the hut.

  That explained why Makki made so much of sitting on my bed; it was part of their marriage ritual. It also explained why she felt so betrayed when I pushed her away after that. She saw that event as a commitment.

  Even in the failing light, I could see that Livia looked terrible. There was a spreading bruise on her cheek, and the grime on her fa
ce was streaked with tears. The ordeal of seeing me led away led away and executed, especially with no understandable explanation forthcoming, had taken a lot out of her. She was emotionally and physically exhausted.

  There were still hours to wait until nightfall, but there were too many ways the plan could go wrong. One of the men could let something slip, Wotanake could decide to make an early night, or any of countless other complications. Not only that, Livia would need to recover her strength before we made our break for the canoes. That would be more likely to happen if she knew I was still alive so she wouldn’t expend her energy crying or in pointless attempts to escape.

  While the camp was busy with their revelry, I crawled from my hiding place, taking up a position with the hut between myself and the celebration, and slowly crept up behind it. Several times I had to flatten myself against the ground to avoid being seen, but I made it. The hides that covered the tent were staked down firmly, but I was able to pry a stake out of the loose soil with my bare hands. Once I had that one, it was a simple matter to dig several more out and make a space I could peek through.

  “Livia?” I whispered.

  There was a muffled sound.

  “Livia, it’s me. I’m not dead. Just hold on, I’ll get you out of there.”

  I widened the gap and crawled under. Livia was squirming in her bonds, desperately trying to chew through the gag in her mouth. I pried at the knots until I was able to slip her free. She was hysterical, crying and laughing and gasping my name. “Gods, Marcus, you’re alive!”

  I put my hand over her mouth. “Hush! They’re going to hear you. I’ve got a few friends among Wotanake’s men. They’re going to get him drunk, and as soon as it’s dark we’re going to grab a canoe and—”