Sand Glass

by A M Russell

  ‘Got her eye on the prize has she?’

  ‘It’s not going to be in the public realm, if that’s what you’re driving at.’

  Suddenly I felt a surge of illumination. A bright light inside something I could grasp in my mind. She could help us. Perhaps the people who ran this were susceptible to some sort of distraction, or persuasion. Janey at base with full access could really swing things in our favour. But then I didn’t know how she had started out. This was that moment fast approaching. I had to wait.

  ‘She wants a payment for her favour.’ Alex said.

  ‘That’s not true.’

  ‘Yeah, it is.’ He replied, ‘Same mistake you always make…’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Underestimate the opposition.’

  ‘Janey?’

  ‘Quite. The unexploded bomb. Just waiting for the lighting of the fuse.’

  ‘Do you mean she is the answer to all this?’

  ‘She’s volatile and hard to predict. Why would anyone want someone like that around?’

  ‘Good question.’

  ‘What would anyone be doing, wanting to listen to what she says? But I suppose the sexy curves really do make you want to hang on her every word; even if you have no idea what she is actually saying.’

  ‘Alex, you’re a genius!’ I said

  He raised he bottle to me, and lifted one eyebrow; ‘Finally you have me. “You’re training is complete Luke”!’

  ‘That’s not the right quote.’

  ‘I don’t care. It’s in my words genius-in-training, so be humble before your master.’

  *****

  Five

  ‘Janey….’ I whispered, ‘Janey? Do you hear me?’

  She rolled over in her sleep towards me. I knelt by the bed in the spare room. The house was still and quiet. I couldn’t sleep. Then, with a start of realisation I felt I must tell her what had happened while were out there the first time. Alex’s idea seemed alright. They were expecting her to arrive tomorrow for her “first” session and show round. We’d got to her first. She didn’t know the layout, but she did know a little about all of us.

  I reached out and touched her cheek. She stirred then, and moaned in her sleep. Her eyes flickered slowly open.

  ‘Davey? What time is it?’ her voice cracked and heavy with disorientation made me feel guilty for rousing her.

  ‘It’s three-twenty…. Sorry, I need to tell you something.’

  She pushed herself onto one elbow; ‘That’s three-twenty in the morning?’

  ‘Yes. I’m afraid so,’ I kept my voice low, ‘I’m worried about tomorrow…’

  That was an understatement. I seriously thought I might be dead by teatime, in what was now the same day.

  Janey beat the pillows into submission and sat up. Despite the obvious opportunity afforded by the situation, I felt more in need of reassurance to settle my whirling thoughts than anything romantic. And since Janey made no move in that direction, but blinked and waited for me to explain myself, I felt I ought to get it out quickly.

  ‘I think I’m going to die.’ I said

  ‘It’s just a bad dream.’ She pulled the duvet up at the side, ‘hop in, you look frozen.’

  I was shivering in that early morning everything’s-not-good way.

  ‘Budge up then.’ I said. She wriggled sideways, and I cautiously slid in next to her.

  ‘Why are you wearing jeans?’ she asked.

  ‘I always wear them.’

  ‘In a sleeping bag?’

  ‘I slipped then back on…. Alright, I haven’t been to sleep, I admit it.’

  ‘Take them off.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘No?’

  ‘I barely know you. You are pretty scary you know.’

  ‘I’m only asking you to make yourself more comfortable. Then you can tell me about it all.’

  ‘I’m cold.’

  ‘Let me warm you up.’ She put her arms round me.

  ‘Janey…. I can’t…. I, please, you make me felt nervous. I’m sorry…’ I squeezed my eyes shut, in an effort to contain my sense of helpless petrifaction.

  ‘You really are nervous of it all,’ she said in a gentler tone, ‘I didn’t know how. I honestly thought you were just being clever, and not being pushy.’

  ‘No… I am a total lettuce.’ I said, glad that she did get it, ‘I have never…. That is to say; I’m….’

  ‘Shh! It’s ok. Just cuddle to warm up. No pressure.’ She rubbed my arm absently, ‘I’m not exactly at my best at this time in a morning either. But I think I can manage to listen.’

  ‘Umm… of course. Sorry.’

  ‘Will you stop apologising? Just talk ok.’

  ‘Thanks Janey.’ I said, and carefully slid out of the jeans and shoved them out onto the floor. We got comfortable. I then told her as much as I could remember about all the times that we had spoken. She said very little. Her warmth spread through me, defrosting that deep frozen part of my heart. I ran out of words.

  ‘Now I understand.’ She said, ‘I see how difficult this has been. Will you tell me the bit about Jared?’

  ‘I’d rather not.’ I said with that curl inside of pain that I hugged to myself like a teddy bear for a strange kind of comfort. I couldn’t quite find it in me to rip the top of that barely healed tender part of me.

  ‘Shall I tell you something?’

  ‘Yeah… just a simple thing that you remember.’

  She smiled and her eyes went glassy in the light from the light that glowed round the edge of the door from the landing.

  ‘I don’t know what to say.’ she said, ‘Isn’t that funny. There is so much, but nothing seems right.’

  ‘Tell me about your birthday then…. I must know about that.’

  ‘Jared and me, we always go to our parents’ house in the summer. We both stay there and spend some time together, just us…..’

  ‘Is it ok? Do you want to tell me?’

  ‘Yes. You know him too. And whatever happened to us, it’s still something that you would need to understand.’

  ‘I know that you are twins.’

  ‘Yes, we are. Marcia told you. We have not considered anyone else coming into this world we had created. But Marcia changed something for Jared. He had seen her at a distance. He was fascinated by her. And he asked me to invite her to the party. I mean, we were friends anyway. So it would have been likely that I would have. But never the less, I was a little jealous. So when Jared decided to leave to come back to the Capital, I went with him. He had drunk something earlier on, but had been on the fruit juice all evening. He liked driving at night, and was feeling fresh from having had some time out in the morning. He spent most of it in a sun lounger reading heavy books.’

  ‘What kind of books?’ I asked.

  ‘I’ll tell you later. But the thing that is most cheering is the day it’s on.’

  ‘What day?’

  ‘Well it’s Yorkshire Day!’

  ‘What does that mean?’

  ‘You’ve never heard of it? Shame on you!’

  ‘I didn’t know it existed at all.’

  ‘You sad creature.’

  ‘Yes; I am, I admit to failing the test of a true native. I live just outside in the countryside, not far away from yours. That is to say my mother does. She runs a nursery.’

  ‘She looks after children?’

  ‘No. Plants. She grows allsorts.’

  ‘See. It’s not so bad, is it?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Cuddling, and talking.’

  ‘I think I can safely say that I could get used to this.’

  We said a few more inconsequential things. The gaps got longer between each of us speaking. I found we had slid into a half laid down position. I don’t remember how, but I fell asleep.

  I came out of a dream that felt uneasy and mixed up. I lay there in the dark, looking up at the ceiling. Then I felt the slight movement of Janey’s head against my chest. She was curled into
me, and her warmth was like that of a large pet cat. It warmed you right through, right down to my toes, even thought it was quite cold in the house at night.

  I didn't want to get out from that wonderful warm nest of quiet security, but a call of nature was insisting I did so. I slid out sideways. She curled deeper into the duvet. I retrieved the crumpled jeans from the floor.

  I was just washing my hands a few minutes later, when something caught my eye from the bathroom window. I wasn't sure what I had seen, so I found my old shoes and my coat and trying not to jangle the keys, slipped out of the back door.

  The moon was out. A few high clouds scudded across it. The night had a definite autumnal chill, and I pulled my coat around myself closely as I tiptoed out to investigate.

  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. My mind was telling me I might have seen a fox or perhaps a hedgehog. I took a few steps forward onto the dew soaked lawn.

  The strange thing was, when I saw her, it was as if I had expected exactly that. She was sitting on the bench just under the overhanging bows of lilac bushes and other climbing plants that festooned the end wall. In this cool little arbour she was perfectly still. So still in fact, that I again looked and thought I might be mistaken.

  'Listen to your heart Davey.' the voice was like the pressure of that electrical charge that is felt before a lightning strike. The roots of my hair tingled.

  'Hello?' I guess I was being deliberately stupid, 'Who's there?'

  She stood up, and stepped out of the shade and into the moonlight.

  She was tall, and wore what I took to be at that moment, a long silver-grey coat. Her hair was curled and pale, and swept away from her face. Her eyes burned into me with a degree of intensity that I could not bear for long; yet I was unable to break her gaze.

  I guess I stood there with my mouth open. Not being entirely stupid was what saved me from totally embarrassing myself.

  'What are you doing in my garden?'

  'It is not your garden.'

  'Ah.'

  'It belongs to Mrs Annie Longden, does it not?'

  'My Landlady? Yes....' my mind was thrown completely off track. I couldn't at that moment recall the exact state of ownership as defined by my tenancy agreement, and it seemed rather trite compared to the alarming presence of this Goddess.

  'What is your name?' I was able to choke out. I could feel my throat constricting. I suppose objectively it was simply a matter of the unexpected event, and the double layer of fear about the day ahead.

  She stepped towards me and spoke again. For a second she broke my gaze and I saw snow and ice and felt a chill that drove into my bones. 'David Jonathan Milnes will you take the path to the darkest place?' Her lips were quite pinky-red and curved in cupids bow. I was afraid.

  'I don't.... know... what that is.'

  'The place you fear. There you will find a way to end the power of the deception. You will find him there also.'

  'Jared?' I gasped quickly; the air was frigid in my mouth,

  'Yes....' and the eyes seemed to warm; she looked more like Janey then.

  'Are you a friend?' I said a little more bravely.

  'We are on the same side... So you would say. But we are not company that can be kept for long without your discomfort.'

  'But why?'

  'An Angel does not hide her fire unless a mortal cannot deliver the message.'

  I realised that, despite the stillness of the face and voice; her hands were clasped together to constrain some terrible pain she suffered.

  'I am sorry to cause you this, ' I said, 'Please tell me how it must be done.'

  'You must leave soon. Awake your friends. They will know what to do. Take only one thing with you.... Make it count. And leave Janey Amber Arden here. She must follow at the time of the appointment.'

  'But.... What thing? Something. Something small? Is that it?'

  'You hold it with one hand. Certainly small. And hidden from view.'

  'Am I crazy?'

  'No.' she smiled, and it dazzled me, I began to wheeze and choke again, 'David; will you do these things?'

  'Yes..... Yes. I will.' I could not stand and dropped to my knees. It was harder to breathe. I felt faint. I could see her cloak-like garment before me. She held out a hand towards me. The intention was clear. I reached out. She took my hand and pulled me to my feet. She was warm like Janey, and there was a strong scent of roses.

  I felt a little stronger then. My chest eased. But I dare not look at her face.

  ‘Regard me.’ She said, still holding my left hand, ‘I am not a stranger.’

  I looked up to this dazzling creature. And saw instead my childhood friend. She had the same curls, but a little less, well… glowing. She had blue eyes. Those blue laughing eyes.

  ‘Angela? How can this be?’

  ‘Davey…. You have be surrounded by many… you have been guarded on every side; we have watched over you. We have shared your joys and your tears.’

  ‘Is it like that for everyone?’

  Yes… and No.’ she smiled, and little splinters of light fell like shattered glass, yet floated silently to the ground like sparks; ‘Not everyone has your inheritance. There are others. And the nature of all you unusual people makes the science work. Without such people, there could be no fault line in time. It could not be. I am one; and you are one. But you are also the most envied creature in the whole creation.’

  ‘What am I?’

  ‘Human.’

  ‘But I’m ordinary; just me, nothing more. What is so special about me?’

  ‘You have the right amount of our fire, and your fallen self… and by mortal dreams all this be made new.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘You are; as I said, the most envied;’ she closed her eyes, ‘and the most pitied. For unlike you; we cannot see what may be, only what is.’

  She opened her eyes again, and their fire had returned. She let go of my hand. And her face was full of pain.

  ‘Turn from me. Do not look at me.’ Flame like shapes licked round her shoulders and shimmered over her head, in a searing violet-white blaze.

  I looked to one side; ‘But how come I could see you as a child? Why did you look so different then?’

  ‘When you are innocent you have nothing to fear from the light. But now you are only on the first part of the road back to that innocence. Travel the path Davey. Then you can see us all as we are; and our light will not burn you! But for now, please look away!’

  I could feel the heat coming off her in waves. I put my hands over my face, and then crouched down. There was a roaring, crackling cacophony, like a fire on bonfire night. I twisted sideways and looked back towards the house. I felt a sense of vertigo, despite being close to the ground. The whole world seemed to be a riot of colour and light. Bands of brightness that burned and then sunk back into the background.

  Oh No! Alex stood at the door. His mouth open in what I took at that moment to be a long drown out Oh!.... he just stood watching. It was only a few minutes later that he noticed me.

  ‘What have you been doing out here?’ he seemed dazed, but unharmed.

  I was sitting in the middle of the now cool, damp, and quiet lawn and realised that his question was certainly in need of an answer.

  ‘I want you to come up with a very clever way out of saying goodbye to Janey.’

  ‘Oh?’ Alex. On closer inspection seemed quite confident in himself. But his eyes were wide awake…. Like…. well just like a kid at Christmas.

  What on earth had he actually seen?

  ‘You really have a talent for attracting the attention of these blondes, don’t you! What’s the secret? If you don’t mind, I’ll not take the sad little kitty inside. Because I’m bagging that one!’ he pulled me up. He seemed as calm, as I was not.

  ‘You were looking at her? Just Then?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Alex, herded me back into my kitchen, ‘I know what you need.’

  ‘Hair of the dog that bit me?’

/>   ‘She’s not a dog is she?’

  ‘I’ll just have coffee.’

  ‘I guess this is it.’ Alex, for once wasn’t joking. He was calm, smiling, serious. And added… ‘I heard that entire last bit. I know what to do.’

  ‘But how weren’t you….?’

  ‘Fried to a crisp?’ he put his hand on my shoulder, ‘Some people are innocents. Some are divine. And some are like Me.’

  ‘What?’ he was doing it again; always ten steps ahead.

  ‘And that is why….’ He tapped me on the chest, ‘I’m the brilliant odd ball sent to cover your ass; and you are still the trainee.’

  ‘But she was…..’

  ‘She was a woman. A beautiful, glorious woman. I think I’m in love.’ said Alex, ‘But before you give her a call for me, let’s set the world to rights. Do ten clever things before breakfast. And… avoid the wrath of said petite fire pixie.’

  ‘You mean Janey?’

  He looked at me sideways; ‘You really do have a talent for finding the most difficult types. You really don’t have an entry level mentality do you?’

  ‘Can’t think that slowly, even for me…..’

  ‘But why the other extreme? Difficulty rating one hundred per cent…. And here she is.’ He nudged me; and added: ‘Alchemy. And I bet you don’t know it yet.’

  *****

  Six

  'She's not what she seems.' I said helplessly.

  'No Shit!' said Alex testily, and changed gear rather angrily.

  'You must be the worst best friend I've got.'

  'At the moment I'm the only friend you've got!' Alex glanced at me.

  'I wish I knew what to do when I get there.' I sunk into the seat.

  Alex was silent for several minutes. The first streaks of dawn lit up the landscape behind and to the left of us. I saw the faint sparkle of the sea in the distance.

  'You should have listened to me in the first place.' said Alex, 'None of this would have happened if you hadn't got involved with the girl.'

  'It wasn't like that,' I said, 'she took the lead with me.'

  'Scored Huh?' Alex shook his head, 'You should have run the other way when you had the chance. Now there's two of her! I mean ordinarily that is any hot blooded male's dream date.... But you seem a little, petrified.'