Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating
Page 1
IMPORTANT NOTICE: PLEASE READ
In view of the complex, individual nature of health and fitness issues, this book, and the ideas, programs, processes, and suggestions are not intended to replace the advice of trained medical and behavioral health professionals. All matters regarding one’s physical and mental health require medical supervision.
The authors’ role is strictly educational in the context of this book and program materials. The authors are not providing any assessments, individualized therapeutic interventions, or personal medical advice. Seek medical advice from your personal health care provider regarding your personal risks and benefits insofar as adopting the suggestions of this program.
Please consult with a trained eating disorder therapist if you have or think you have binge eating disorder, bulimia, or anorexia before engaging in this program.
The authors disclaim any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of this book or program.
Published by Am I Hungry? Publishing
P.O. Box 93686
Phoenix, AZ 85070-3686
Copyright ©2014 Michelle May, M.D. Updated 2020
All rights reserved under all copyright conventions.
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Based on Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program
Library of Congress Preassigned Control Number: Pending
ISBN 978-1-934076-35-4 (pbk)
ISBN 978-1-934076-36-1 (pdf e-book)
ISBN 978-1-934076-37-8 (epub)
Dedicated to
those who live with the painful secret of binge eating
and crave a big, vibrant life.
Also by Michelle May, M.D.
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat:
A Mindful Eating Program to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle
(In paperback, epub, and audiobook)
Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program
Companion Workbook and Awareness Journal
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat with Diabetes:
A Mindful Eating Program for Thriving with Prediabetes or Diabetes
(In paperback, epub, and audiobook)
Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program for Bariatric Surgery
Companion Workbook and Awareness Journal
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating:
A Mindful Eating Program for Healing
Your Relationship with Food and Your Body
(In paperback, epub, and audiobook)
Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating
Companion Workbook and Awareness Journal
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Students:
A Mindful Eating Program to Fuel the Life You Crave
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Athletes:
A Mindful Eating Program for Sports and Life
Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Virtual Coach
(Mobile app)
Available from www.AmIHungry.com
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter 1In Charge, Not In Control
Chapter 2Trust Your Body Wisdom
Chapter 3It’s Not About the Food
Chapter 4Change Your Mind
Chapter 5What Am I Really Hungry For?
Chapter 6Fearless Eating
Chapter 7Mindful Eating
Chapter 8Just Right
Chapter 9Self-Care Buffer Zone
Chapter 10My Big Life
About the Authors
References
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
MICHELLE MAY
My heart is absolutely filled with gratitude. I simply cannot believe I get to do what I love! There are so many people and events that have played a part in this journey.
I absolutely could not do this work without my project manager, Sara Sun. Your many talents and can-do attitude never cease to amaze me. I am so grateful to have you on our team. Thank you to our editors, Janet Holston and Tonie Harrington for your sharp eyes and insights. To Brandi Hollister, our book and cover designer, your talented fingerprints are all over these pages. Thank you!
I am humbled by the many Am I Hungry?® Mindful Eating Facilitators and Therapists who invest their precious energy to guide their clients, patients, participants, and communities back to wholeness. I am grateful for the mindful eating, intuitive eating, and Health at Every Size® communities. Your wisdom, perseverance, and passion inspire me. I am especially grateful for the thousands of people who have shared their struggles, stories, and newfound freedom with me. You are why I do this work.
I am grateful to have not just two parents who love and support me but four: George and Dixie Shirley, and Bill and Janie Riddle. I deeply appreciate my many dear friends and colleagues who have shared this journey (and few glasses of wine) with me. I am so proud of my amazing children Tyler and Elyse—you inspire me and make me laugh. And to my fabulous personal chef and husband Owen, I love you and the big life we’ve created together!
KARI ANDERSON
I would like to thank Juliet Zuercher, Registered Dietitian and long-time friend who first introduced me to intuitive eating and quietly put up with every new diet that I stumbled upon before I finally saw the light. To all those who have shared their hearts and shed their tears in my therapy groups. Your stories have helped me to more fully understand the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of those with Binge Eating Disorder. You may recognize glimpses of yourself in the men and women described in this book. To the research participants in 2012, without you, I would not have completed the study that has been nothing short of amazing. It has inspired us to make this program available to anyone who needs it by writing this book. Thank you to Samantha Graham, my graduate research assistant and intern who made it possible to keep all the balls in the air during my doctorate program. To my mother, you have always been my biggest cheerleader. To my brother and his family, and my “other” parents, Marty, Marylyn and Mel. And finally, words can’t fully express how important my husband Brian has been to me. You take care of me when my self-care voice is on vacation, and you always support my dreams even when it means putting yours on hold.
INTRODUCTION
Do you have a secret? Are you distressed about your eating? Do you sometimes eat more food than most other people would eat under similar circumstances? Do you sometimes feel like you can’t stop eating, or can’t control how much, or what you’re eating? Do you eat large amounts of food even when you’re not hungry? Do you sometimes eat more rapidly than normal? Do you eat until you feel uncomfortably full? Do you eat alone because you’re embarrassed by how much you eat? Do you ever feel disgusted with yourself, depressed, or really guilty after you eat?
These are symptoms of binge eating. Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating was written for you.
Some people call their problem with binge eating emotional eating, food addiction, or compulsive overeating. When binge eating occurs at least once a week on average for three months (without compensatory behaviors such as vomiting), it is called Binge Eating D
isorder, or BED. If you think you may have BED, please consult with an eating disorder therapist for an assessment.
If you struggle with binge eating or BED, you are not alone. BED is by far the most prevalent eating disorder. Three and a half percent of women and two percent of men suffer from Binge Eating Disorder during their lifetime. In comparison, anorexia and bulimia each affect 0.6% of the population. Despite its prevalence, BED remains cloaked in secrecy and shame. Less than half of its sufferers seek therapy for their eating disorder. However, 30% of those seeking weight loss treatments have BED.
Weight cycling is also common because of alternating binge eating and restrictive dieting. Cultural weight stigma and internalized body dissatisfaction perpetuate the problem. However, it is important to note that not everyone who is overweight binges and not everyone who binges is overweight.
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating offers a step-by-step process for self-discovery and healing your relationship with food and your body. You’ll learn new ways to manage the physical, emotional, and environmental stresses you encounter each day without bingeing. You’ll finally understand the reasons you binge and how to better address your needs. Instead of trying follow rigid rules created by experts, you’ll become the expert on you. You’ll relearn how to listen to your body to determine when, what, and how much you need to eat. Eating will become pleasurable again, free of bingeing or guilt. You’ll discover that you can enjoy food and nourish your body at the same time. More important, you will learn how to use your energy to care for yourself fully and live the vibrant life you crave.
Perhaps not surprisingly, both of us (Michelle and Kari) struggled with binge eating earlier in our lives, fueling our passion for helping you heal your relationship with food and your body.
KARI’S STORY
In 2013, Binge Eating Disorder was added to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5)—thirty-six years after I found myself sitting on the floor of a dark basement, leaning up again a chest freezer, eating a case of frozen Twinkies—my shameful secret. My first binge had occurred after losing 20 pounds on Weight Watchers in high school. I proceeded to weight cycle, a pattern of dieting and bingeing that I would later recognize in many of my clients. I thought my body defined me—and I was at war with it. I had a successful career in the fitness and nutrition industry—which made my secret even more humiliating.
After inpatient treatment for what was diagnosed as “non-purging bulimia” at the time, I returned to college for a master’s degree in counseling and continued my personal journey of healing. Afterward, I launched a twenty-year career in eating disorder treatment. I had studied and utilized mindfulness-based therapies in my practice, and I was looking for a model that would apply specifically to binge eating. I learned about Am I Hungry?® Mindful Eating Programs and Training and met Dr. Michelle May.
Michelle helped me both professionally and personally. Despite full recovery from binge eating and two decades working as an eating disorder therapist, my bookshelves were still filled with self-help diet plans and cookbooks. That is until I read her book, “Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: A Mindful Eating Program to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle.” This approach completely freed me from my own Restrictive Eating Cycle. I now have confidence in my own food choices without looking for answers outside of myself. Finally, peace.
The Mindful Eating Cycle Michelle described in her book served as the perfect framework for the binge eating program we would co-create. We conducted a pilot research study for my doctorate program and the results were astounding, showing statistical significance in the elimination of binge eating.
What is mindful eating—and how can it help?
Mindful eating is an ancient mindfulness practice with profound modern applications. Mindfulness is simply awareness of the present moment without judgment. When you become aware of your physical state, your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions as they are in the here and now, you increase your ability to care for yourself instead of turning to food. Mindfulness-based therapies aimed at self-regulating emotional and physical states have shown great promise in the treatment of Binge Eating Disorder. We’ve drawn upon concepts from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for this program.
There are a number of theories about why binge eating occurs. Binge eating is a way to escape awareness of critical thoughts, numb uncomfortable emotions, and/or it acts as a substitute for unmet needs. This program addresses all three of these areas: thoughts, feelings, and needs.
People with binge eating have a tendency to engage in “dichotomous” thought patterns—all or nothing, black or white, good or bad—that become destructive when they make impulsive, automatic decisions about eating, relationships, and life management. Throughout Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating, we introduce specific skills, strategies, and techniques to help you find the middle path or “the grey areas” in-between the extremes.
Mindfulness is also effective for noticing the judgmental, critical thoughts that keep you stuck in painful patterns. A key aspect of this program is learning to cultivate a self-care voice to replace your ineffective thoughts and gently guide you toward decisions that create a bigger, more vibrant life.
Each chapter follows the story of an individual struggling with binge eating who is learning to apply mindful eating concepts to his or her life. Their stories are composites of the circumstances, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors shared with us by thousands of individuals over the years. Any similarity to a specific person is purely coincidental.
Another key element of mindfulness woven through this book is developing curiosity toward your experience. We encourage you to be an inquisitive explorer and scientist, discovering new, challenging, beautiful, and amazing territory within yourself. We are simply here to provide the necessary tools and a lighted pathway for your journey.
MICHELLE’S STORY
My struggle with food was a microcosm of my struggle to control my life. I thought if I could control everything, I wouldn’t have to worry. Of course, that was impossible, so I lived in fear of losing control—which I did on a regular basis, especially where food was concerned. I yo-yo dieted, confirming my deepest fear of not having enough—and especially, of not being enough.
I finally found freedom when I quit dieting and learned to tune into my own body and listen to my needs and wants. I gave up trying to be in control and learned to be in charge instead. I learned that I could trust myself to respond to whatever showed up. I became as compassionate toward myself as I had always felt toward my patients. My freedom with food is a microcosm of the freedom in my life.
While practicing medicine, I found that many of my patients struggled to find balance in their eating too. I began teaching workshops, later called Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs and Training, to help people resolve mindless and emotional eating and end futile yo-yo dieting. Out of our own personal and professional journeys, Kari and I discovered a common passion and heart for those who struggle with the stigma of weight and eating issues. Due to the secrecy and shame attached to their behavior, those who suffer from binge eating are often misunderstood and go without treatment, or receive inappropriate advice to try another diet. We want to help put an end to that.
We co-created the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program for Binge Eating (AIH ME-BE). It is a ten-week treatment program based on the framework of Michelle’s Mindful Eating Cycle, and utilizes mindfulness-based strategies, self-discovery processes, evidence-based practices, and treatment methods used by Kari in her clinical practice.
The program was tested on adult women with Binge Eating Disorder. They went from severe binge eating to a non-bingeing level on the Binge Eating Scale after participating in the ten-week program. There were also statistically significant improvements in levels of mindfulness, depression, anxiety and dietary choices. Preliminary results from the one-year follow-up indicate sustained recovery.
Thes
e encouraging results inspired us to write Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating: A Mindful Eating Program for Healing Your Relationship with Food and Your Body and the companion Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Workbook and Awareness Journal in order to make this program accessible to everyone who needed it. However, the program we describe here is most effective with a facilitator trained to lead Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating workshops combined with a therapeutic group therapy process. Please visit www.AmIHungry.com to find a licensed AIH ME-BE program in your area and for our other mindful eating programming including retreats.
It is our hope that you too will find peace, joy, and freedom.
—Michelle May, MD and Kari Anderson, DBH, LPC, CEDS
CHAPTER 1
IN CHARGE, NOT IN CONTROL
Like Connie, millions of people who struggle with binge eating feel trapped in a vicious cycle that leaves them feeling confused and hopeless.
My diet started with the best of intentions and a perfect breakfast: a half-cup of steel cut oatmeal with blueberries, a hard-boiled egg, and coffee with a quarter cup of skim milk. Before I left for work, I took the time to pack my lunch of mixed greens with cucumbers, tomatoes, and a three ounce chicken breast, with light vinaigrette. I even brought my exercise clothes so I could go to Zumba after work. I felt like I was finally back in control. If I stuck to my diet plan of 22 points a day, I would buy myself a bathing suit for my summer vacation.
When I got to work there was an email from my boss asking me to stop by his office before lunch. I worried about that meeting all morning long and during it, my worst fears were confirmed: I had missed a deadline. I was humiliated. How did I let that happen?
I was relieved when my co-workers asked if I wanted to go to lunch with them. I needed to get out of there. We ended up at my favorite hamburger place, but even a combo didn’t make me feel much better—just stuffed and almost out of points. I felt guilty as I passed by the refrigerator at the end of the day and remembered my salad. I’d failed again! I couldn’t do anything right. I changed my mind about going to Zumba. I’d already blown it today.