Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating

by Michelle May M. D.

  Intentional practice: Set an intention for your physical activity that gives you a focus to return to throughout. What do you want from this experience? To feel calm, invigorated, present, grateful, refreshed, or something else? For example, your intention might be to stay connected to your breath, challenge yourself in some of the poses or exercises, or express gratitude throughout your practice. You might choose an affirmation to repeat throughout, such as, “My body is wonderful,” or “I am becoming stronger.”

  Meditative walking: Inhale slowly for four steps, hold your breath for one step, exhale slowly for four steps, and then hold for one step. Repeat. Experiment with different intervals to see what works best for you. As you notice your awareness and thoughts drift elsewhere, gently bring your focus back to the present moment as many times as necessary.

  Environmental awareness: As you walk, ride a bike, or jog, become highly attuned to the details in your environment. Notice the feel of the ground under your feet, listen to the sounds around you, feel the breeze on your face. You can even make it part of your activity: for example, choose a beautiful tree in the distance and pick up your pace until you reach it.

  Breath awareness: Matching your movement to your breath is a powerful centering tool because it requires focus and awareness to make each movement begin and end precisely with the start and finish of the breath. For example, open your arms slowly overhead as you inhale then lower them back to your sides as you exhale. To ensure both mindfulness and proper movement during strength training, exhale slowly as you shorten or contract the muscle (for example, lifting your leg), and inhale slowly as you lengthen or relax the muscle (for example, lowering your leg).

  Nonjudgmental awareness: How does your body feel as you move? How do different activities and intensities feel? What do you need to do to make it more comfortable, challenging, or enjoyable? Become curious about your thoughts and feelings as you move into different activities, exercises, or yoga poses. Without judgment, notice whether thoughts like “my favorite pose” or “I hate this exercise” make the activity more or less enjoyable. Practice disconnecting from those habitual thoughts and opinions by focusing on your breath.

  Gratitude attitude: A powerful technique is to think about everything you’re grateful for as you walk. Imagine a ripple that moves outward. Start by expressing gratitude for everything about yourself: your body, your mind, your heart, and your spirit. Then express gratitude for those around you: your family, your friends, your coworkers, and so on. Then move on to other things you are grateful for: where you live, the weather, cultural events in your city… you get the idea.

  Counting: When lifting weights or doing floor exercises, count as you do each repetition to ensure slow, steady movement; 1, 2, 3, as you shorten: 1, 2, 3, as you lengthen.

  Muscle focus: Bring your awareness and attention to the muscle group you are working, ensuring that you’re doing the exercise primarily with that muscle group. For example, while doing an abdominal crunch, focus on the contraction in the front and center of your abdomen. Be sure you aren’t using your hands behind your head to pull you up or that you aren’t relying on momentum to swing your body up and down.

  Try something new: When you learn a new activity such as ballroom dancing, tennis, swimming, or yoga, you necessarily become more mindful of your body, movements, and technique.

  Britney’s yoga class provided her with much more than exercise.

  I bought some clothes for yoga on sale while I was still home, and I signed up for the class as soon as I got back to school, but I started having second thoughts. My counselor encouraged me to go anyway and I’m so glad I did. For the first five or six sessions, I felt a little out of place. It was hard to figure out what I was supposed to do without looking around all the time. When I started to get the hang of the poses, it was easier to focus on my breathing and alignment. My ability to stay present got better and I felt so calm at the end of the class. Oh, and I noticed that I am getting stronger and more flexible too. The coolest part though is that I am becoming more mindful in every aspect of my life now!

  Living fully in the moment will allow you to listen to and trust your innate wisdom, increasing your effectiveness and contentment in every aspect of your life.

  CHAPTER 8

  JUST RIGHT

  Joyce and her husband were retired and living on a fixed income. She had struggled with binge eating most of her life.

  My husband and I went out for dinner with friends last night to La Senorita because it is half-price for seniors on Tuesdays. I was hungry when we got there—a 2 on the hunger scale—so I ordered a taco and enchilada combo and a grandé margarita. I love their chips and salsa but my husband gave me a look when I served myself a second handful. By the time the food arrived I wasn’t really hungry anymore. We don’t get to eat out very often so I ordered another margarita and kept going. I avoided looking at my husband because I didn’t want him reminding me how much I was eating. After dinner, our friends were patting their bellies and saying that they had eaten too much. I noticed how stuffed and uncomfortable I was, but you can bet I wouldn’t admit it!

  When you live in a land of abundance, deciding how much food you need to eat is essential for lifelong well-being. Just as important, when you eat the perfect amount of food, you’ll feel satisfied—just right.

  Think for a moment about how that feels.

  When you’re satisfied, you simply don’t need anything else. You feel content, fulfilled, pleased, and even happy. How wonderful it is to feel good when you’re finished eating.

  HOW MUCH DO I EAT?

  Stopping at “just right” can be challenging. You may eat beyond the point of satisfaction for many reasons: habits and learned behaviors, past dieting, and often, not paying attention while you’re eating. When you eat more than you need, you’ll feel unnecessarily uncomfortable and your body will store the excess. Eating too much may cause you to have less energy and be less active. In the past, it may have also led to feelings of guilt, which likely led to even more overeating.

  Overeating can trigger bingeing because, rather than thinking in degrees of overeating or discomfort, “all or nothing” thinking takes over: “Go ahead. You’ve already blown it. What does it matter now?” There may be a feeling of resignation and failure, compounded by the urge to eat more of whatever you think you shouldn’t have. The thought of having to regain control when it’s over can fuel bingeing. Joyce described how her overeating at dinner turned into a full-blown binge.

  When we got home, I really wanted something sweet. I’m sure my husband thought I’d already done enough damage for the evening so I didn’t mention it. While he was watching TV, I went into our spare bedroom to “check my email.” I have a stash of my favorite candies from the mall—chocolate covered pretzels and bridge mix—and a can of honey roasted peanuts. It sounds crazy now, but I started stuffing the candy and peanuts in my mouth, hardly even tasting them. I felt like I was on a mission to finish it all off, because I told myself this would be the last time I did this. I heard the TV go off so I quickly shoved the rest in the drawer behind some files. My husband doesn’t even know I have a stash; I’d be mortified if he saw what I was doing.

  Later when I was lying in bed, I had this constant stream of criticism looping through my head. I felt physically and emotionally sick. I didn’t need to be afraid of my husband judging me; I hated myself in that moment.

  As you practice eating mindfully, with intention and attention, the awareness will change your perception of overeating and bingeing. For example, when you’re disconnected from hunger and fullness and you overeat for emotional reasons, it may actually feel good, at least temporarily. However, as you become more mindful and connected, you’ll be more aware of your physical discomfort and recognize that eating did not help you escape after all.

  To change old patterns, you’ll need to rediscover how great it feels when you don’t overeat—and learn what to do on those occasions when you do. It’s ess
ential for you to tune into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors without judgment. You’re not going through this process to punish yourself but to see what you can learn from the experience.

  Compare teaching yourself to eat just the right amount of food to teaching a child to ride a bike. Do children learn easily when you get angry or criticize them for making mistakes? Will children feel like giving up if they are expected to do it perfectly right away? Will they want to try again if they’re ashamed about falling off? Or do they learn best when you observe what they do, encourage each positive step they take, and offer gentle suggestions on how they can improve? Do they want to keep trying because you focus on how much they are progressing, not on what they do wrong? Will they feel encouraged when they notice it gets a little easier each time? Learning to stop eating when you’re satisfied is exactly the same. You’re most likely to learn when you’re gentle, patient, encouraging, and optimistic with yourself throughout the process.

  MINDFUL MOMENT: Eating the right amount of food isn’t about being good. It’s about feeling good.

  And, as with riding a bike, this process eventually becomes natural. Occasionally, something will throw you off balance, but because you’ve practiced and learned to make necessary adjustments and corrections, you’ll keep cruising right along.

  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

  Unlike dieting, mindful eating isn’t about being good; it is about feeling good. You set your intention to meet your body’s needs, and to feel better when you’re finished than you did when you started—in other words, satisfied. You pay attention to make it possible to enjoy it more. As we’ve worked our way around the Mindful Eating Cycle, you’ve learned numerous strategies to help you eat the amount of food your body needs.

  Here are some examples:

  •When you feel like eating, pause and ask, “Am I hungry?”

  •Do a Body-Mind-Heart Scan to get in touch with what is happening in the present moment.

  •Determine your current hunger and fullness number.

  •Set your intention for how full you want to be when you’re finished.

  •Estimate how much food you’ll need to eat to reach that level of fullness.

  •Choose what you’ll eat by considering what you want and what you need.

  •Eat what you love without guilt.

  •Prepare, serve, or order only as much as you think you’ll need. If you were served too much, move the extra food aside.

  •Before you start eating, visually or physically divide the food in half to create a “speed bump.”

  •Eat mindfully with intention and attention.

  •When you hit your speed bump, stop eating for a few moments to notice whether you’re really enjoying the food you chose and recheck your hunger and fullness level.

  •Recheck your hunger and fullness level at the end of your meal, and again twenty to thirty minutes later.

  Let’s pick up where we left off and build on those strategies. We’ll also use the Mindful Eating Cycle to figure out why you sometimes overeat, and how to quickly move back into mindful eating.

  THE GREY AREA

  SPEED BUMPS

  A speed bump slows you down. Anything that interrupts an automatic, mindless behavior and reminds you to pause, think, listen to your self-care voice, and then respond, is a speed bump. A good example of a speed bump is dividing your food in half before you begin eating to remind you to reassess your hunger and fullness level and notice whether you’re really enjoying the food you chose. Speed bumps are especially helpful when you’re first learning to eat mindfully. Below is a list of other speed bumps you can experiment with. These are not intended to be used restrictively. Instead, approach your experiments with curiosity.

  •How does using smaller plates, bowls, and glasses affect my portion sizes?

  •Do I notice a difference when I place a serving of food on a plate rather than eating it out of the container?

  •What happens when I order or serve myself less?

  •Does it help to keep serving dishes in the kitchen rather than on the table?

  •Is it helpful to buy single servings, make my own snack size bags, or pack small containers?

  •Do I like sharing meals?

  •Is it easier to stop when I feel satisfied if I request a to-go container prior to starting my meal?

  •What happens when I wait ten minutes before having seconds?

  •Are there certain foods that I prefer to not keep in the house or at least keep out of sight?

  •What other speed bumps could I create to help me remember to pause and think?

  How Full Am I?

  Your awareness and the Hunger and Fullness Scale are your most useful tools for helping you determine when enough is enough. Just as you use your hunger level to let you know when to eat, you’ll use your fullness level to let you know when you’ve had enough.

  Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself to help you determine how full you are:

  •How does my stomach feel? Can I feel the food? Is there any discomfort or pain? Does my stomach feel stretched, full, or bloated?

  •How does my body feel? Do I feel comfortable and content? Do my clothes feel tight? Is there any nausea or heartburn? Do I feel short of breath?

  •How is my energy level? Do I feel energetic and ready for the next activity? Or am I sleepy, sluggish, tired, or lethargic?

  •What do I feel like doing now?

  The Hunger and Fullness Scale

  Based on your answers to these questions, determine your number on the Hunger and Fullness Scale.

  4 or lower: You’re still a little hungry. You have several options:

  •You could eat a little more; just a few bites may be all you need.

  •You could wait a while to see whether you feel fuller; if not, you could eat a little more.

  •You could stop eating for now. This is a great strategy if you’re planning to have dessert or you’ll be eating again soon.

  5: You’re satisfied and comfortable: You aren’t hungry anymore, yet you don’t feel the food in your body. You could eat more, but you don’t need (or want) to. You may also notice that while you were eating, the flavor of the food went from fabulous to just okay as you became less hungry. It may have been harder to give food and eating your full attention. You feel light and energetic and ready for your next activity. Where will you invest that energy? There’s a lot more on that coming up in chapter 10; in the meantime, just remember that the real purpose of eating is to fuel living.

  6: You’re slightly full: You can feel the food in your stomach, but it’s not unpleasant. When you are a 5 or 6, you may want to move away from the table or move the food away from you to signal that you’re finished. Pay close attention to this comfortable, contented feeling and try to remember it for next time.

  7 or higher: You feel somewhere between very full to sick. Picture your stomach as a balloon, as we talked about in chapter 2. It can stretch far beyond its ideal capacity, but when it does, what is it pressing on or pushing out of the way? At a 7 or above, you think, “I ate too much!” You feel uncomfortable, regretful, and possibly sleepy and sluggish.

  Notice that I intentionally used the word regretful instead of guilty. What happens when you feel guilty about eating? For most people, guilt is a powerful driver of the Binge Eating Cycle. Since you’re in charge of the decisions you make, you don’t need to feel guilty if you consciously decided to eat more than you needed.

  Regret means you don’t like how you feel and you wish you hadn’t eaten so much. It leaves the door open for you to learn from the experience so you can do it differently next time. Even people who eat instinctively occasionally overeat for convenience or pleasure. They sometimes regret it later, but since they don’t feel guilty about it, it doesn’t lead to more overeating and compensatory restriction.

  MINDFUL MOMENT: Satiety is your body’s signal that you’ve had enough. Discomfort is your body’s signal that you’re not list
ening.

  DON’T MISS THE LESSON

  When you realize you’ve eaten too much, ask yourself, “Why did it happen?” Here are some other questions to ask to help you determine why you overate.

  •Why was I eating in the first place? Was I in an Instinctive, a Restrictive, or an Overeating Cycle?

  •When did I get the urge to eat? What was I thinking? What was I feeling? What else was going on?

  •Am I able to identify hunger? Was I hungry? How hungry was I?

  •If I wasn’t hungry, what was the physical, environmental, or emotional trigger? If I was hungry, was I too hungry?

  •What did I choose to eat and why? Did that affect how much I ate?

  •How did I eat? Was I mindful or was I distracted?

  •Did I set an intention for how full I wanted to be when I was done eating?

  •How much food did I have in front of me?

  •What was I thinking about when I decided to continue to eat past the point of satisfaction?

  Most important, ask yourself, “What could I do differently next time?” By developing a strategy for what you’ll do differently, you turn your mistake into a learning experience.

  To help sort it out, go back through the Mindful Eating Cycle to explore possible triggers for overeating and bingeing, and develop strategies for dealing with them more effectively. This will be a great review of the Mindful Eating Cycle and will help you apply some of the concepts you learned in previous chapters. Go back and reread any sections you’re struggling with.