Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating

by Michelle May M. D.

  These are all clear signs of mindless or unconscious eating. Your brain and body cannot process information fully when you eat too quickly or when you’re distracted by something else.

  On the other hand, think about one of your most enjoyable eating experiences. How would you describe where you were, who you were with, what you talked about, what the ambience was like, what the food looked and smelled like, how it tasted, and how you felt while you were eating and afterward?

  How often do you have eating experiences like that? How often would you like to have experiences like that? Mindfulness changes eating into a memorable, multisensory experience.

  MINDFUL MOMENT: If you love to eat, act like it!

  Mindful Eating

  Eating is a natural, healthy, and pleasurable activity when you’re eating to meet your body’s needs. Choosing to eat mindfully—that is, eating with intention and attention—will give you optimal enjoyment and satisfaction from eating.

  Eat with intention. Be purposeful when you eat.

  •Eat when you’re truly hungry (most of the time).

  •Eat to meet your body’s needs for nourishment.

  •Eat with the goal of feeling better when you’re finished than you did when you started.

  Eat with attention. Devote your full attention to eating.

  •Eliminate or minimize distractions.

  •Tune into the ambience, flavors, smells, temperature, and texture of the food.

  •Listen to your body’s cues of hunger and fullness.

  When you eat with the intention of caring for yourself, you’ll feel content, not deprived. When you pay attention, you’ll enjoy the eating experience even more.

  Mindful eating helps you recognize the difference between physical satisfaction and fullness. When you eat on autopilot, you may only become aware when you’re overly full. But at comfortable satiety, a 5 or 6 on the Hunger and Fullness Scale, your stomach may be just slightly distended. At that point, you could eat more, but your body isn’t asking for it. Because it’s a very subtle feeling of stomach fullness (less obvious than the signal to start eating), you must listen to your body carefully or you’ll miss it. This is one place where mindfulness comes in.

  Another benefit of mindful eating is that you’ll notice how you feel, both physically and emotionally when you eat certain foods, eat in certain environments, or eat in certain ways. This may affect your future choices about eating. However, it’s important to observe how you eat from a neutral perspective. In other words, don’t judge or punish yourself for the way you eat. Instead, use your heightened awareness to increase your satisfaction from eating. Here’s how Britney explained it.

  My mom was an amazing cook and I used to love the different foods she made. We always ate together as a family, until my parents began having problems and we started eating our meals in the living room. I think they just didn’t want to have to talk to each other, so eating in front of the TV was the perfect distraction. I guess it distracted me from a lot too, because at some point, my mom wasn’t really even cooking anymore. We were eating frozen meals or fast food most of the time. We’d sit down for a show and eat until the food was gone. When I got bored or couldn’t stand the awkwardness any more, I’d go to my room to read, do my homework, or play on my computer. That’s when I’d pull out the bag of chips or candy I bought on my way home from school. It made me feel better somehow.

  After my parents finally got divorced, my mother and I started cooking together and eating at the table again. I enjoyed my meals so much more. I guess when I went away to college, my stress eating came back again. The M&M thing, and a few other situations like that, scared me. I saw a poster about binge eating at the student health center so I signed up for a workshop and counseling. My therapist helped me figure out that the uncertainty and loneliness I’ve struggled with since I got to college triggered some of the same feelings I had when my parents were having trouble. Of course I would start eating mindlessly again to feel better!

  It is very difficult to eat mindfully and binge at the same time. Awareness of what you’re doing and the potential consequences are difficult to face during a binge, so tuning out is a way to accept it. Further, the very purpose for the binge is often to escape from the events, thoughts, and feelings that seem intolerable at the time. Britney realized that eating mindfully may be simple, but it is not always easy.

  We did a mindful eating experience in our workshop. It felt a little awkward at first but I was really surprised by how much I enjoyed eating. After that, I experimented with mindfully eating fruit, sandwiches, and even M&Ms! It was kind of cool. It was a lot harder to eat mindfully when I was upset though. When I got a D on my calculus test, the urge to binge was so strong that I mindfully decided to be mindless! I ordered a pizza and thought, “I don’t care right now. I’ll deal with it later.” I was about to pick up my fourth slice when I woke up. I was getting full and I hadn’t even tasted the last three slices. I pushed the box aside, closed my eyes, and took several deep breaths. The urge to finish the pizza was strong, but the urge to feel good was even stronger. I climbed down from my bunk bed, took the rest of the pizza to my friends across the hall, and we hung out for a while. When I told my group about it, everyone congratulated me for interrupting my binge. I was making progress.

  LOVE WHAT YOU EAT

  During our Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs we practice mindful eating by having a mindful eating potluck or going out to dinner together. Nearly everyone says that the experience has a huge impact on the way they eat. You too can experience eating with intention and attention by practicing these steps for mindful eating, either by yourself or with a friend over dinner. During a trip home for the holidays, Britney tried mindful eating with her mother.

  I talked to my mom about the problems I’d been having with eating. I didn’t tell her everything—that would have been too embarrassing—but I told her I was getting some help at the student health center for it. I told her about mindful eating and asked her if she wanted to try it with me. We went online and found a couple of new recipes to try and went to the grocery store together. We mindfully selected the perfect fruits, vegetables, and other ingredients for our meal. We chopped and stirred and sautéed, enjoying all the wonderful aromas as we cooked. I was a 2 by the time the meal was ready; I showed my mom the Hunger and Fullness Scale so she could figure out how hungry she was too. We set a beautiful table—including a bouquet of fresh flowers we bought—and used the china my mother inherited from my Grandmother. We went through each of the steps for eating mindfully. We smelled, tasted, and talked about everything we ate. I cleared the dishes when we were satisfied and we sat at the table for a long time catching up.

  Once again we’re using the Mindful Eating Cycle as your guide for eating mindfully. If you have not learned the steps in the cycle already, this would be a good time to commit them to memory. That way you can easily recall them as you practice eating mindfully.

  Why?

  Acknowledge why you’re eating. Are you eating for fuel, nutrition, pleasure, convenience, or because of a physical, environmental, or emotional trigger? Why you’re eating will affect every other decision in your eating cycle. Even when you’re eating instinctively, certain situations, social occasions, and emotions will affect what, how, and how much you eat. When you’re aware of why you’re eating, you’re more in charge of the rest of the decisions you make.

  When?

  Focus. Get in the habit of checking in with yourself several times a day to see where you are on the Hunger and Fullness Scale. Begin eating when you feel significantly hungry (a 2 or a 3), but try not to wait until you’re famished (a 1). One of the keys to conscious eating is to keep your body adequately fed to decrease the risk of overeating.

  MINDFUL MOMENT: Set your intention to feel better when you’re finished eating than you did when you started.

  Set your intention. Decide how full you want to be at the end of eating. For example, if you need to
be alert and energetic, you might decide you’ll stop at a 5. On the other hand, if it’s a special occasion or special food, you might decide it’s worth being a little uncomfortable afterward, so you decide you’ll stop at a 7. Remember, you’re in charge of how much you’ll eat, but if you don’t have a plan, you’re more likely to eat more than you want or need.

  What?

  Choose food that will satisfy both your body and your mind. To get the optimum level of satisfaction from your food, remember to ask yourself these three questions: “What do I want?” “What do I need?” and “What do I have?” Because this is contrary to most of the usual diet rules it takes some practice. Review chapter 6 if necessary.

  How?

  Create a pleasant environment. A pleasant ambience adds to your enjoyment and satisfaction from eating. Even when you’re preparing food for yourself, make it attractive, as if you were serving it to someone special—because you are! Set the table, turn on music, and light candles, perhaps. Even a frozen dinner looks more appealing on a nice plate.

  Minimize distractions. If you eat while you’re distracted by watching television, reading, driving, working, or talking on the telephone, you won’t be able to give your food or your body’s signals your full attention. Some people have told me they get bored when they “just eat.” That’s particularly true as your hunger begins to fade, so use boredom as a signal that it may be time to stop.

  Sit down. Don’t eat while standing over the sink, peering into the refrigerator, or propped up in bed. Instead, choose one or two places at home and at work for eating. This breaks or prevents the formation of triggers associated with other locations and minimizes distractions.

  Purchase, prepare, or serve only the amount of food you think you’ll need. With practice, you’ll be able to predict how much food it will take to fill you up at different levels of hunger. If someone else fills your plate, visually determine how much you think you’ll need and move or remove the excess. If you’re at a restaurant, you may want to ask for a to-go container before you start eating.

  Create a speed bump. Once you have the amount of food you think you’ll need, physically divide it in half on your plate to remind yourself to stop halfway and check in again. This little “speed bump” will slow you down and serve as a reminder to become mindful again if you’ve lost your focus. When you reach that point, you’ll stop eating for a couple of minutes to reconnect with your hunger and fullness level.

  Center yourself. Take a few deep breaths to calm and center yourself before you begin eating. This will help you slow down and give eating your full attention. If you’re upset, anxious, or excited, take some time to calm down before you eat. Likewise, avoid having stressful conversations at the dinner table.

  Express gratitude. In whatever way you find appropriate, take a moment to reflect on and give thanks for your food and the nourishment it provides, as well as the other blessings in your life.

  Look at your food. Appreciate the appearance and aroma. Notice the colors, textures, arrangement, and smells. Imagine what it will taste like.

  Taste your favorite first. Decide which food looks the most appetizing and start by eating one or two bites of it while your taste buds are the most sensitive. If you save the best until last, you may want to eat it even if you’re full—and you probably won’t enjoy it as much.

  Put your fork down. When you’re loading your next forkful, you can’t pay attention to the one in your mouth. Besides, when you’re always paying attention to the next bite, you’ll keep eating until there are no more bites because that’s where your focus is.

  Stay connected. Savor the aromas and tastes of your food as you eat. Mentally describe the temperatures, flavors, ingredients, seasonings, and textures. Stay conscious of all the different sensations you’re experiencing.

  Take small bites. Large bites are wasted on the roof of your mouth, teeth, and cheeks where you have very few taste buds. In addition, much of the flavor of food comes from the aromas. When you slowly chew a small bite of food, the aromas are carried from the back of your throat to your nose, enhancing the taste.

  Appreciate the occasion. Appreciate the atmosphere, the company, or simply the fact that you’re allowing yourself to sit down and enjoy your meal.

  Enjoy your food. If you notice you’re not enjoying what you chose, choose something else if possible. Eating food that doesn’t taste good will leave you feeling dissatisfied.

  How much?

  Pause in the middle of eating. When you get to your speed bump, stop eating for a couple of minutes. Ask yourself where you are on the Hunger and Fullness Scale now. Estimate how much more food it will take to fill you to comfortable satiety, keeping in mind that there’s a delay in the fullness signal reaching your brain. Don’t be surprised if you realize you’re already full or getting close.

  Notice when your taste buds become less sensitive to the taste of food. When the food doesn’t taste quite good as it did at first, it’s a sign that your body has had enough.

  Push your plate forward or get up from the table as soon as you feel satisfied. The desire to keep eating will pass quickly, so direct your attention away from food for a few minutes. Remind yourself that you’ll eat again when you’re hungry again.

  Ask yourself where you are on the Hunger and Fullness Scale when you’re finished eating. How close did you get to your original intention?

  Where?

  Notice how you feel after eating. How do you feel? Where will you invest the energy you consumed? If you overate, don’t judge or punish yourself. Just notice the physical and/or emotional discomfort that often accompanies being overly full, and create a plan to decrease the likelihood that you’ll overeat next time. (We’ll address this in more detail in the next chapter.)

  If you’re used to eating on autopilot, mindful eating may feel a little contrived and awkward at first. Like other strategies you’ve learned in this book, it becomes more natural with practice. By choosing to eat with intention and attention, you’ll find yourself experiencing more enjoyment than you ever did while overeating or dieting. Britney rediscovered her love for food when she noticed how much more pleasure she got when she was mindful.

  I only binged once while I was home for winter break—after my dad introduced me to his new girlfriend. Afterward, I was really aware of how miserable I felt. It made me realize how many times I must have checked out so I wouldn’t notice what I was doing to myself!

  Instead of making a New Year’s resolution to lose weight like I usually did, I wrote out a plan for how I would take better care of myself when I got back to school. I committed to:

  •Take a break from studying to eat my meals.

  •Buy a regular size bag of M&Ms when I really want them and eat them mindfully. (And ask mom not to send the half-pound bags anymore!)

  •Sign up for a yoga class at the student health center.

  •Join the conservation club on campus to meet some new people.

  •Continue to see my counselor for as long as I need to.

  Eating Mindfully in the Real World

  It’s easier to become distracted from signals of physical hunger and satiety at restaurants and social gatherings, especially when food is the main event. Eating mindfully in the workplace also poses some common challenges. In these settings, you’ll need to pay extra attention to your body’s signals.

  •Remember to ask, “Am I hungry?” It’s common to have dishes of candy or snacks set out at parties and in many places of business, but don’t eat food just because it’s there. Before having a doughnut, bagel, or brownie from the break room at work or a sample at the grocery store, notice where you are on the Hunger and Fullness Scale.

  •If you’re hungry and really want that particular food, remember to sit down and eat it mindfully. If you’re not hungry, save some of it for later or skip it altogether. It’s likely it will reappear another day.

  •Be careful about eating at your desk. Make enough time to enjoy a meal wit
hout work interruptions if possible. The break will pay off in increased productivity.

  •When eating while socializing or conducting business, make it a point to alternately shift your focus from eating to the conversation.

  •Be aware of the effects of alcohol on your ability to eat mindfully.

  •Don’t allow the serving size or how much other people are eating determine how much you’ll eat. Most of the time you’ll get more food than you really need, so check in with your own hunger and fullness levels to tell you when to stop.

  •Since meals tend to be longer at social events, you may need to have your plate taken away or put your napkin on it when you’re satisfied to avoid nibbling unconsciously.

  From Mindful Eating to Mindful Living

  Eating with the intention of nourishing your body and enjoying your food, and focusing your attention to fully experience the food and your body—that is what it means to truly love what you eat. Once you’ve experienced the pleasure of eating mindfully, you may be inspired to become more mindful during other activities, too. Practice mindfulness during your daily activities like eating, showering, straightening the house, running errands, talking, exercising, and working.

  THE GREY AREA

  MINDFUL MOVEMENT

  Mindfulness during activity increases your awareness of your body—increasing your enjoyment, lessening boredom, decreasing your risk of injury, and optimizing the time you invest. Becoming more intentional about your thoughts, feelings, and choices of activities will help you discover what inspires, challenges, and rewards you. Becoming more attentive helps you appreciate the privilege of moving your body and allows you to experience the joy of being fully present in the moment. Most important, making a mind-body connection during physical activity has a calming, meditative effect that carries over into other aspects of your life. In this way, exercise is no longer a means to an end but an end in and of itself. Experiment with the following methods of increasing your mindfulness during movement, physical activity, and specific types of exercise.