Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating

by Michelle May M. D.

  Why? We’ve been short-staffed at work so I’ve been picking up shifts and carrying an even heavier patient load than usual.

  When? Whenever things slow down for a few minutes, I pop into the nurses’ lounge to see what’s there. I ask, “Am I hungry?” and most of the time I’m not, but I still decide to eat. I guess I am being mindful about choosing to eat anyway, but I’d rather not continue to eat food just because it’s sitting there.

  What? Most of the time there are bagels, cookies, or a box of candy that the patients’ families bring in.

  How? I grab a quick snack then head back to work. I’m definitely not eating with intention or attention.

  How much? I’m not eating much each time; I really don’t like that stuffed feeling anymore.

  Where? I haven’t been taking the time to grocery shop or cook for myself.

  I decided to rethink the situation. Just because food is free or a gift doesn’t mean I need to eat it. I value feeling good even more. I decided to stay out of the lounge unless it was my lunchtime. When I need a break, I escape into the chapel for a few deep breaths.

  My husband and I love preparing nice meals together, but I’d been too tired to grocery shop. I decided to plan several meals a week and make a list so he can do the shopping. We make enough to have leftovers so I have a great lunch for work the next day. And sometimes, if I really want it, I have a cookie or a piece of chocolate for dessert! It feels great knowing that I can figure out how to solve my problems without going on a rigid diet, or worse, giving up and going back to bingeing again.

  Do What You Love, Love What You Do

  Though it is easy to forget, the real purpose of eating is to provide you with the energy to do whatever you need and want to do. As you free yourself from binge eating and restrictive dieting, you can redirect your time and energy toward other more productive and satisfying pursuits. You’ll have more energy to focus on caring for your complete well-being—physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually—your body, mind, heart, and spirit.

  Denise shared how her perspective has changed.

  I realize now that this process was never really about the food. I was using food to entertain myself, distract myself, and soothe myself—and sometimes to fuel myself. I’ve turned the whole thing upside down. Now I use food to fuel myself, then I use that energy to find other ways to entertain, distract, and soothe myself. And the more I fill my life with other things I love, the less I think about food.

  Let’s explore ways that you can invest your energy in nurturing all aspects of your well-being—body, mind, heart, and spirit—to build a bigger life. As you read through these ideas, listen for your self-care voice to help you select one or two from each area to focus on first.

  Body

  While feeding your body well and becoming more active are both important, think about caring for your physical well-being in other ways too.

  •Establish a safe and secure physical space.

  •Take care of your health needs; get a check-up.

  •Eat fresh, healthful, and interesting foods.

  •Engage in enjoyable physical activities and exercise.

  •Get rest and adequate sleep.

  •Give and receive physical affection.

  •Take a hot bath or long shower.

  •Get a massage, manicure, pedicure, or facial.

  •Spend time in nature: walk, hike, camp, sit.

  •Take medications as prescribed.

  •Create a calm, comfortable environment.

  •Accept and respect your body as it is right now.

  Heart

  Emotional well-being doesn’t mean always being happy! Emotional wellness is the result of learning to embrace the full spectrum of emotions, identify and cope with stress and feelings, seek balance, know your limits, nurture yourself, and cultivate healthy relationships.

  •Release emotional energy by journaling, drawing, crying, screaming into a pillow, or talking to a friend or advisor.

  •Spend quality time with family and friends.

  •Build intimacy with your significant other.

  •Set appropriate boundaries assertively.

  •Do relaxation techniques and manage stress better.

  •Practice forgiveness of others and yourself.

  •Deal with or let go of old “stuff” that is keeping you stuck.

  •Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

  •Seek counseling or therapy if needed.

  Mind

  Intellectual well-being includes your thoughts, growth, stimulation, creativity, challenge, and more. Here are ideas for caring for your mind:

  •Read interesting, challenging, or classic works.

  •Learn something, like a new skill or language.

  •Do brain teasers and play challenging games.

  •Be creative—art, music, crafts, and hobbies.

  •Visit museums or other novel places.

  •Take classes or study your areas of interest.

  •Participate in stimulating discussion groups.

  •Explore occupational opportunities.

  •Travel or explore new areas.

  Spirit

  Spiritual well-being may include religion, but it’s really much more. It encompasses your sense of purpose, knowing that there is something greater than yourself, your connection and relationship with God or a higher power and with others, unconditional love and acceptance, contribution, joy, and peace. Look over these suggestions for caring for your spirit:

  •Be fully present and mindful in all that you do.

  •Pray, meditate, and/or practice yoga.

  •Spend quiet time alone; seek solitude or connect with nature.

  •Define your guiding principles.

  •Write in a personal journal.

  •Visit your place of worship or find one.

  •Read meaningful, inspirational works.

  •Have an attitude of gratitude.

  •Serve and contribute to others generously.

  •Receive with grace.

  •Practice kindness.

  If you made a long mental to-do list, let it go and choose one or two things to focus on first. Strive for balance, variety, and moderation—not just in the way you eat but also in the way you live your life.

  Live the Life You Crave

  Healing your relationship with food and your body isn’t going to make your life perfect, but it will create space for you to live the life you crave. Denise sums it up.

  I still love food—probably even more now—but I don’t think about it all the time anymore. Learning to eat mindfully has helped me live in the moment and trust that I can make decisions about my eating and my self-care. I’m beginning to live mindfully too. I don’t waste a lot of time worrying because I know that I’ll figure out how to deal with whatever comes up—whether it’s food or just life in general. I am living my life one delicious bite at a time.

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  MICHELLE MAY, M.D.

  Dr. Michelle May is a recovered yo-yo dieter and the founder of Am I Hungry?® Mindful Eating Programs and Training, helping individuals resolve mindless and emotional eating and senseless yo-yo dieting. She is the award-winning author of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: A Mindful Eating Program to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat with Diabetes, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Students, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Athletes, and Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program for Bariatric Surgery. Dr. May’s passion, insight, and humor stem from her personal struggle and professional experience. She shares her compelling message and constructive approach with audiences around the world and has trained hundreds of health and wellness professionals to facilitate Am I Hungry?® Mindful Eating Programs worldwide. She has been featured on Dr. Oz, the Discovery Health channel, and Oprah Radio, and quoted in Fitness, Health, Parents, Self, Woman’s Day, WebMD, and many more. Mic
helle practiced family medicine for 16 years before retiring to focus on mindful eating. She received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Arizona State University and her Medical Degree from the University of Arizona College of Medicine.

  Michelle practices what she preaches in order to balance her personal and professional life while maintaining her own well-being. She enjoys yoga and hiking near her home in Phoenix, Arizona. She is very proud of her two grown children, Tyler and Elyse. She and her husband, Owen, a professional chef, share a passion for gourmet and healthful cooking, recipe development, wine tasting, and traveling.

  KARI ANDERSON, DBH, LPC, CEDS

  Kari has been treating eating disorders for 29 years. She began her career in the fitness and nutrition industry then earned a Master’s in Counseling Psychology at Mount St. Mary’s College of Los Angeles in 1991. Kari has helped thousands of patients and their families in programs such as The Rader Institute, Remuda Ranch, and Green Mountain at Fox Run. Kari holds a faculty position with the Eating Disorder Institute for Plymouth State University and serves as the supervision chair for the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS) committee. Kari earned her Doctorate of Behavioral Health with her dissertation and research project, “The Mindful Eating Cycle: Treatment for Binge Eating Disorder” at Arizona State University in 2012. She is the co-creator of the evidence-based Am I Hungry?® Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program and co-facilitates Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Retreats. She offers private counseling and coaching through myEatingDoctor in Scottsdale and virtually. She lives with her husband in Chandler, Arizona and enjoys being active in the beautiful desert surroundings.

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