Backstage Dirty (The Savage Light Rockers #1)

by Jenika Snow

  The crowd kept chanting for them to play “Not a Silver Lining”. Currently it was their number one song. He gripped the microphone stand and turned to look at Five to his left, and then looked at Matty on his right. Jacks had his guitar strapped across his chest, the same as the other two members, and although he didn’t play it every song, he did join in on a few. “You want to hear ‘Not a Silver Lining’?” The crowd screamed, and he couldn’t help but grin. Sweat already ran down his face, and his shirt was soaked. A girl in the front row called out his name, and he looked down and winked at her. She started fanning her face, and although he had no sexual desire for anyone but Tanner, he also wasn’t going to snub his fans. They were the ones that made the band who they were, that allowed them to rise to the top. Without them Savage Light was just another band in his parents’ basement.

  “I don’t think they want to hear ‘Not a Silver Lining’,” Matty said and turned to look at Jacks. “I think they need to scream it louder, make it sound like they are getting fucked.” Matty chuckled in a deep, low voice, and that just had everyone going even crazier and the volume rising to an earsplitting level.

  “I want you to fuck me, Matty.”

  “Five, make me scream later.”

  The comments kept being thrown out by the women, but it juiced the guys up and made everyone in the venue thirsty for more.

  “All right, you crazy bastards.” Matty chuckled again and lifted his hand. The volume went down a notch, but there were a few catcalls thrown out.

  “I think we should give them what they want, boys,” Five said and looked at all three of them.

  And then they started playing. The song started off slow, and gradually picked up rhythm and volume. This was a newer number, one that talked about a young boy that grew up in a broken home, and wishing he had more out of his life. It wasn’t one of the harder songs they performed, and certainly wasn’t pleasant if someone actually listened to the lyrics. It was real, heartbreaking, and each one of the members had put a little bit of themselves into it, even if none of them had come from a broken home.

  His heart is split in two.

  A life wished that was something new.

  The color of his marks, so dark and so very blue.

  He cries something different.

  Every day and every night.

  Only darkness as his friend.

  And only wanting the softness of the light.

  The crowd starting singing along, and the swaying increased. When that song ended they immediately went into the next, this one faster, harder, and more uplifting. It was imperative to follow up a sorrowful song with something that was totally different, something that was upbeat. They finished their set nearly two hours later, sweat coating each of them from head to toe, all of them out of breath, and their audience calling out for more. The lights dimmed, and they headed off to the backstage. Towels and bottles of water were handed to them. The voices were loud and made Jacks’s ears ring. They’d do an encore, but first they needed to hydrate and catch their breath.

  “Oh my God, Jacks. That was such a great show.” The female voice that was right behind him had him closing his eyes and breathing out in annoyance. Not fucking now.

  Five was checking her out, and Matty and Beats gave him a sympathetic look.

  Jacks turned and looked down at Laura. She was the daughter of a roadie that had just joined on less than six months ago when one of their regulars had taken ill. Jacks hadn’t found that out until after he had fucked her backstage after a show one night, and wouldn’t have even touched that if he had known. He wasn’t about all the drama. He wouldn’t have minded her being backstage and showing her support, but since then she always tried to get him to fuck her again. He had been drunk as hell when he had screwed her, and ever since then he’d regretted it. Even if he hadn’t reunited with Tanner again he wouldn’t have been with Laura. She was just too desperate for him, and being with her had been a mistake in the first place.

  “Thanks, Laura. Glad you liked the show.” He ran the towel he still held over his face once more, tossed it aside, and went to turn. She grabbed onto his forearm, and he stopped and looked down at where she held him.

  “I know you have to get back out there, but maybe afterwards you and me could go somewhere quiet with a bottle of tequila?”

  Gently but firmly removing his arm from her grasp, he shook his head “Thanks, but I’m going to pass. I’m beat already.” He wasn’t, but that wasn’t the point. “Besides, remember I told you the last few times that there won’t be another time with you and me?”

  She shrugged. “Yeah, I know. I just thought we could talk.” Talk, yeah right. “Anyway, I’ll see you after the show.” She turned and headed away from the stage. Her outfit was not very low-cut, but it was tight as hell and left nothing to the imagination.

  “Dude, if you are not going to hit that again I’m going for it. She’s got an ass that I want to break my dick off in.” Five was standing right next to him, and after he spoke he guzzled down half the bottle of water he held. Leave it to Five to come right out and say what he wanted.

  “Man, she’s all yours.”

  Five turned and looked at him and grinned. “Yeah, I figured since I know you wanting Tanner on tour isn’t just to do our graphics.” Five slapped him on the chest in good humor. “Come on, let’s rock it one more time before we party it down.” Five tilted his chin toward the stage, and Matty and Beats followed suit. It had only been a few days, and Jacks still didn’t have Tanner’s answer on whether she was going with them or not. They had spoken on the phone and texted each other, but that wasn’t the same thing as being with her. He could still smell her, feel her, and imagine being inside of her. But it wasn’t just about sex with her. It was about everything. Putting her toward the back of his mind so he could get this last thing done, he headed back on stage for the encore.

  ****

  She was doing it, really doing it. Tanner sat in the passenger side of Zoe’s car and stared at the massive tour bus a few feet from them.

  “Thank you again for doing this. I know it must be hard with the whole…” She glanced at Zoe. “The whole Beats thing and how you’re feeling.” There was a smaller bus one behind that, which Tanner assumed to be for Black Pearl. A few dark vans were parked off to the side, and several Savage Light staff members were standing by them. Some were smoking, others talking, but it was clear they were waiting. A few employees had put the last of the baggage in the bus, and she realized the band must have stayed the night. They had this grand tour bus at their disposal, but she assumed living in a mobile home didn’t compare to sleeping on a real bed.

  “Don’t be sorry for anything. I’m excited for you.” Zoe turned in her seat and smiled, but there was this sadness. “Besides, I can’t stay inside for the rest of my life because things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to.” She shrugged and tightened her hands on the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. “That’s life, right?”

  “I guess.” Tanner reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. “But thank you.” Zoe shook her head and looked at the tour bus. “It does kind of suck that you came back only to leave again.” She looked back at Tanner and started laughing. “But who am I kidding? I am so excited for you. This is the chance of a lifetime, girl. I’ll miss you, though, but I’ll live vicariously through your awesome phone calls and texts.”

  Tanner started chuckling. “You know I’ll be calling you all the time—”

  “And sending me backstage pictures. I want to feel like I am right there with you.” Zoe reached across and gave Tanner a hug. They might have not been really close for the past five years because of school, but they had always stayed in contact. “Okay, you better go”

  They pulled away at the same time. Tanner had taken days to think about what she was going to do. She had told her parents, listened to them give her the cons of riding on an oversized bus with a bunch of rockers, but in the end she knew in her heart that s
he was going to go. Passing up this opportunity would be stupid. This was the kind of job anyone with her degree dreamed of doing, and besides, she would get to be with the guy she loved, and the other three that she thought of as brothers. That couldn’t be a crash and burn decision, right? At least that was what she kept telling herself. Everything would be okay, and only she could allow something to upset her. Jacks had prepared her for some of the things she would see, but Tanner wasn’t a fool. She had seen enough movies and watched those tabloid shows that gave a behind the scene look at all these musicians’ downfalls.

  Pushing the “what ifs” to the back of her mind, she smiled at Zoe once more and climbed out of the passenger seat. The tour bus was parked in front of The Timberline Resort in Aspen. It was the same hotel that they had stayed in when they played in Brookstone, and despite her telling Jacks she could get dropped off wherever he was, he’d said they had to backtrack through Aspen to get to their next destination anyway. So here she was, standing by Zoe’s little Corolla, and about to go on tour with Savage Light. After taking her two suitcases out of the backseat she inhaled deeply. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest, and her hands started to sweat, but she knew it wasn’t because of her going with the band, not totally. It was mainly because of Jacks. The rest of the band, and three other men and a woman came out of the front doors of the hotel. She assumed the people with them she didn’t know was their opener. Her guys were dressed casually, like how they always used to back in the day, but there was this air that surrounded them, one that told her these men were talented, successful, and they didn’t let it go to their heads.

  Jacks was in front of everyone, and even from the distance she knew he was staring right at her. It was this feeling that started at the base of her spine and moved all the way up her back. The sound of the passenger side window being rolled down had Tanner bending at the waist, resting her forearms on the door, and staring at Zoe.

  “I’m heading out. I still feel like an ass over the whole Beats thing.” Zoe looked over at the guys, swallowed audibly, and then glanced back at Tanner.

  Tanner refrained from saying anything. It had been a week since all that happened, and no matter how many times Tanner had told her that she shouldn’t let it affect her and Beats’s friendship, she really had no room to talk. “I understand. Drive back safe and I’ll text you later tonight.”

  Zoe nodded and smiled, but Tanner didn’t miss how she glanced out the driver’s side window once more as the guys came closer. She stepped back from the car when Zoe started pulling out of the parking lot. And then there she stood with her suitcases on either side of her, and Savage Light walking up to her. Jacks stopped, but Five must not have seen him because he ran right into Jacks’s back.

  “Fuck, man.” Five looked at the back of Jacks’s head, and even though he had sunglasses on she could tell he had his brows knitted. “You know when I am this hung-over my coordination is shit.” He lifted his head and looked at her over Jacks’s shoulder. “Hey, Tanner is finally here.” He pushed Jacks out of the way, and she heard him sigh and then saw him shake his head. “You can finally keep this joker in line.”

  She lifted a brow, not sure what she was supposed to do, or how she could keep anyone in line.

  “I lost a lot of money to him last night in a game of poker, but I think he was running me since he knew I was trashed.” Matty started laughing.

  They walked up to her and each gave her a hug, and before they dragged Five away he hugged her in greeting, too.

  “I’d like you to meet Black Pearl.” Jacks stepped aside and started introducing everyone. “This is Zane, the lead singer. Taye is the guitarist, Blue the bassist, and Cotton is their drummer.”

  They all greeted her, and after Jacks started talking music stuff with them, things like rifts and chords, they left minutes later. Then it was just her and Jacks, and they stared at each other for a few seconds.

  “They seem really nice and down to earth.” She smiled.

  “They’re cool. I think you guys will get along really good.” He grinned and flashed his straight, white teeth. He still wore his sunglasses, and although she felt his gaze on her, she couldn’t see his blue eyes. “They’ll be in that bus.” He pointed to the smaller, yet still impressive and luxurious tour bus behind the one she presumed Savage Light would be traveling on. “You ready?” He smiled at her, and before she could say anything he pulled her in for a hug. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. “I missed you, Tanner.” He ran his big hand over her back in slow sweeping motions. She melted against him, felt herself grow aroused just from the fact he touched her. “I want you so bad. It’s been building the last couple of days, Tanner.” He slid his hands lower, curved his fingers around her ass, and growled low in his throat.

  God, she loved the sound he made. It was like an animal was taking control of him. It was a noise all for her. Over the last week she hadn’t only been thinking about this career opportunity. She had also been thinking about how things could have gone from her and Jacks not talking for five years to them being … this. No complaints on her end, but it was very surreal. “You’re insatiable.” A low gasp left her when he nipped her earlobe.

  “Only for you, baby.” He squeezed her ass again. “But I meant it when I said I missed you.”

  “It was only a week.” She pulled back, and although she had said that, she did know what he meant. It was like this string was connected to them both, and being with him strengthened it. Maybe it was a silly analogy, but it was the truth. It looked like one of her best friends was now something much more to her. Something she had always wanted.

  Once she had decided to come along, everything had moved pretty quickly. With them being on tour there really wasn’t a lot of time, and she needed to get used to this fast paced lifestyle because she assumed it would only get more frantic. Before she had left for Aspen to meet the guys the band’s attorney had come to her house with a stack of legal papers for her to sign. Her father had stayed and gone over everything, and although she trusted the guys she was thankful for her father’s knowledge with this legal jargon, because she had one hell of a time trying to figure it all out.

  “Come on. Darren wants to go over some computer shit with you.” Jacks took hold of her bags and leaned down to kiss her right there in front of everyone.

  She heard Five give out a catcall, and although she hadn’t thought they would hide anything, she was a bit surprised he had just gone for it right away.

  He pulled away and grinned. “Did I embarrass you?” There was a teasing note in Jacks’s voice.

  She felt her cheeks heat, but not from embarrassment, but because she was already so aroused, and only from a hug and little peck. “No.” She felt this prickling on the back of her neck and lifted her head to see a young woman standing over by the tour bus. She was dressed in shorts that were the size of some of Tanner’s underwear, and a cropped top that left very little to the imagination. But what was more evident was that the girl was staring Tanner down. That was clear even though she wore these big ass Jackie-O sunglasses.

  He started chuckling, and Tanner turned her attention back to Jacks. He was still laughing, and she knew it was because he didn’t believe her when she said that he hadn’t embarrassed her. He nudged her with his shoulder until she started walking with him

  “Darren has been filling in for the last few weeks with the graphics since Morgan had to leave unexpectedly.”

  Tanner kept her focus on Jacks, even though she still felt that girl’s gaze on her. “I’m not taking anyone’s job, am I?” She really didn’t want to take this position out from under someone else.

  Jacks shook his head. “No, Darren doesn’t have the training Morgan or you have. He was just making sure everything ran smoothly. He is more of the tech guy than the graphic guy.” He turned and flashed her a mega-watt grin, and she didn’t doubt panties had dropped faster than if they were on fire from that smile alone.

  That thought
had Tanner looking at the girl still standing by the rear of the bus. Had she dropped her panties for Jacks? Ugh, stop it, Tanner. You haven’t even gotten on the bus and you’re already going to torture yourself?

  “So he just wants to run everything by you, get you used to the programs and all that, and then he can get back to the tech stuff.”

  They reached the bus, and he handed her bags over to one of the guys in a black t-shirt that read “STAFF” on the back. Before Tanner could look at that woman once more, because she just had to be a masochist, he took her hand and led her toward the doors. And then she was climbing the stairs behind him. The sound of the other band members was loud. Matty was laughing at something Five was saying, and the sound of Beats banging out a tune on a tabletop was layered over the voices. They reached the landing, and she stood there, probably looking like an idiot, as she stared at the luxury that was their tour bus.

  There was a massive table to her right, a plush looking seating area to her left with every kind of electronic she could think of, and straight ahead was a hallway that she assumed led to an equally lavish bathroom and the bedrooms.

  “You look like a fish out of water, Tanner.”