Heart's Design: A Contemporary Christian Romance

by JoAnn Durgin

  She drew in a quick breath. “I wondered why you seem to want to spend time with me when I doubt we’ll ever see one another again after this weekend.”

  “You don’t know that. Do you?” He seemed too calm, too cool, so self-assured.

  “What? That we won’t see one another again? Ever?”

  Seth nodded. “My mom turned around on the third floor of a clock shop in Lucerne, Switzerland once and there was a guy standing behind her in a jacket from her college. Mind you, this was a college with twenty thousand students. When he turned around, she almost dropped the expensive figurine she was holding. Not only was this guy from her college, but she knew him. He happened to be the best friend of the guy she dated in college.”

  “That’s quite a small world story.” Caroline smiled. “Everyone has a story, but that’s a good one.”

  “I don’t want to be a small world story to you, Caroline. That’s my answer. I don’t want to be the guy you see in some random place years down the road and say, ‘Oh yes, our paths crossed once. But that’s all it was.’”

  Wow. That was quite a memorable line. Romantic. Did he mean it that way? Or as friends? She struggled to find the best way to respond. “Point taken, but you might want to work on your roundabout presentation.”

  The corners of Seth’s mouth twitched. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  “I’m also trying to figure out if you’re a romantic at heart or just really cheesy.”

  “Probably both. Listen, I have some things I need to do.” Rising to his feet, Seth grabbed his jacket and tossed it over his shoulder. Being comfortable in one’s own skin was an expression that’d never meant anything to her. With the embodiment of it standing beside her now, it made perfect sense.

  “Will you meet me down here again on the porch tonight at nine o’clock? I have something I want to give to you.” His gaze met hers.

  “A guidebook to the minerals and birds of Maine?” Dumb response, but she was momentarily flustered. He had a habit of doing that to her. She was so unaccustomed to handsome men paying attention. Not true. She didn’t allow herself to stop long enough to listen. Until now.

  Caroline swallowed. “I’ll see you then.”

  Chapter 11

  ~~♥~~

  Caroline waited when Seth appeared on the porch at nine o’clock. Sweet and lovely in jeans, a pink T-shirt, and a lightweight white sweater draped around her shoulders and tied in front. Preppy casual but she wore no makeup as far as he could tell. Innocent yet worldly in that unique way she had about her. A walking contradiction in some ways. A woman of privilege who’d probably seen parts of the world many people never visited in their dreams let alone in reality. A girl who seemed nervous about spending time with a man. Hopefully Caroline understood it wasn’t a date so much as wanting to get to know her as a new friend.

  Tell yourself all you want, Barnes. Doesn’t mean it’s so. A vision of Jenica popped into his mind but he pushed it aside. In essence, he pushed Jenica aside. He’d need to deal with that situation.

  Caroline darted a quick glance at his hands, no doubt wondering what he wanted to give to her, but he’d purposely not brought it with him. After he’d left her on the porch earlier, Seth had changed into his jeans and then he’d helped to pack up and transport the wedding gifts from the church over to Paul’s apartment on the outskirts of town. Off and on, he’d prayed about when to give his gift to Caroline. He trusted the Lord to give him the answer. He sensed that if he gave it to her now, he’d risk her running away. He didn’t want to take that chance. First, he wanted to spend more time with her. Find out more about this girl who intrigued him so much.

  “Do you want to go get a cup of coffee? Java Joe’s is open until ten. It’s three blocks down on Quartz Street.”

  “As long as they have decaf java, I’m game.” Caroline hopped out of her chair before he could offer his hand. “I do love the names of the streets here,” she said as they strolled down the driveway toward Elm Street. “If it’s not a mineral, I’ve noticed the streets are usually named after trees. No birds, though. At least not so far.”

  Seth chuckled. “I don’t think you’ll find any.”

  Strolling through the quiet streets beside her, he listened to her observations of the town he called his second home. If it weren’t for the teaching position, he’d spend more time in Evergreen. He stopped in front of Java Joe’s and opened the door, ushering in the welcoming aroma from freshly-brewed coffee.

  As he entered the small shop behind Caroline, he noted the new artwork on the walls since he’d stopped in last. He didn’t need to glance at the artist’s signature to know it was the work of Toby Daniels. He’d always admired Toby’s work and one of his original landscapes hung in the living room of his condo. For a long time, Seth had thought Toby should pursue getting a sponsor and showing his work in the bigger galleries. The man had always seemed content with his low-key profile as a local artist. Not everyone had aspirations for attention on a bigger scale. He had to admire Toby’s humility.

  “Hey, Seth. Good to see you again.” Joe’s smile was broad and he waved from where he talked with a customer by the register.

  “Joe, always a pleasure,” Seth said a minute later when the burly man came out from behind the counter.

  Slapping him on the back, Joe nodded to Caroline. “This guy a friend of yours? You’re in trouble if that’s the case, young lady.”

  A flush of color crept from her neck into Caroline’s cheeks but she lifted her chin. “A new friend, yes. I’ll take my chances.”

  Good answer.

  “Should I be concerned that two men in Evergreen have now warned me about you?” Declining his offer of something to nibble on, Caroline waited at one of the small tables while he ordered two special blends.

  “That’s where taking your chances comes into play, I suppose.”

  Thanking him a couple of minutes later as Joe brought two steaming mugs of brew to their table, Caroline added a packet of natural sweetener and stirred it into her mug. The only other customer, a middle-aged woman he recognized but didn’t know by name, smiled and nodded in their direction.

  Leaning closer, Caroline lowered her voice. “This is such a fabulous town. The people here are so friendly and welcoming. And Evergreen is a very fitting name. Perennially fresh and enduring.”

  Jenica would probably think Evergreen was named after the Barbra Streisand song of the same name. “If I didn’t know better, I’d never guess you’re a city girl. You seem to fit right in here.”

  “I’ve traveled a lot, but I’ve never lived anywhere but Boston,” she said. “This trip has been a nice change of pace.”

  Slipping out of his jacket, Seth draped it around the back of his chair. Even though she’d put the sweater on as they’d walked, she hunched her shoulders and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “Are you cold?” That was a rhetorical question if ever he’d heard one.

  “The coffee should help.” Caroline gave him an appreciative glance. “I should have worn my heavier jacket tonight. The one I wore when we were up in the mountains.”

  “Here. Take mine.” Removing his jacket from the chair, he walked behind her and lowered it to her shoulders. She grabbed hold of the jacket, and her fingers briefly brushed his as she pulled it around her shoulders. He couldn’t deny the spark of attraction that simple meeting of their hands elicited in him. The shyness in her smile clued him in that Caroline felt the same.

  “You’re a very kind man, Seth Barnes. Thank you.”

  Surprising comment. “Aren’t there any kind men…in Boston?” He needed to watch it since the way he’d asked that question came across as borderline flirtatious.

  “You’d be surprised. If you don’t mind my asking, how old are you?”

  “I don’t mind. I’m 28, and my wise mother warned me a long time ago never to ask a woman’s age.”

  “I’ll spare you the trouble. I’m 21, and soon to be another year older on
the sixth of October.”

  “I always say you’re only a day older than the day before. It’s not like you wake up an entire year older on your birthday. Happy birthday in advance.” He sipped his coffee as Caroline did the same.

  “True observation. And thank you.”

  “You wear it well.”

  What am I doing? He needed to set the tone of this non-date. Make his intentions clear. He didn’t want to lead Caroline on and give her illusions of anything happening between them either tonight or in the future. But that nagging voice inside his head kept knocking. More like pounded.

  She shook her head and gave him a small smile. “There you go again.”

  “Should I apologize?” He sipped his coffee.

  Great job not flirting, Barnes. Just sharing coffee with a new friend. That’s all. He definitely needed to keep that in mind.

  They talked for nearly an hour, and the conversation flowed smoothly and easily. Although he asked her a number of questions—pointed questions—in an attempt to get her to open up more about her family, Caroline artfully dodged them. Was she trying to hide something or was it more a matter of her not being comfortable talking about herself? He suspected the latter but he couldn’t discount the possibility that it was a bit of both.

  She was conflicted about entering law school, that much he knew, but she said little about her parents other than their expectations were high for her to join the family business. She wouldn’t elaborate and Seth didn’t push. He found out enough about her brother, Bryce, to know he’d like the guy. Bryce sounded upstanding and fun and he’d obviously earned the admiration of his younger sister.

  He touched on the fact that his father wasn’t in the best of health and his mother suffered from dementia and had for a number of years. But he didn’t tell Caroline that he blamed both of his parents’ health issues as a long-term consequence of the trial. Maybe he’d always needed a scapegoat, and Lord help him, he’d tried to get over it and forgive Duncan Prescott, but so far…he couldn’t. Nothing had been the same since that trial. At least his dad wasn’t convicted or he’d have spent the intervening years in prison. Instead, his dad had dwelled in a prison of his own making.

  “Tell me what the difference is between minerals and rocks.” He could have kissed Caroline for asking that question. In a manner of speaking.

  “You don’t really want to know.” Catching her slight frown, Seth managed a smile. “You do? Okay, then, I’ll give you the condensed version. Remember you asked for it.” Caroline appeared to listen as he gave her the short, practiced answer about minerals. “Minerals are the naturally occurring substances formed by geological processes. Rocks and stones, on the other hand, are naturally occurring solids made up of minerals,” he told her. “The earth’s crust is made of rock, and there are three different types of rocks depending on how they’re formed.”

  “I know, I know, Dr. Barnes!” Caroline’s face brightened. Setting her mug on the table, she sat up straighter in her chair and waved her hand like the teacher’s pet that couldn’t wait to share what she’d learned.

  He chuckled, loving her enthusiasm. This should be good. “Please share with the class.”

  “This will sound silly, but I learned them by word association. Let’s see, there’s igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic.” She scrunched her face. Very cute. “Right?”

  Sitting back in his chair, Seth crossed his arms, prepared to listen. “Excellent. You go to the head of the class. Keep going. I’m curious which words helped you remember them.”

  “Igneous is ignoramus. I realize that’s not a very nice word, but when you’re a kid, it’s easy to remember. Sedimentary translates to sedentary.”

  He quirked a brow. “Not a word most kids would know.” Kids who attended private school and were uncommonly intelligent, maybe, but normal kids in neighborhood schools? Not likely.

  “If you think of it as parking your lazy bum in a chair, it helps.” Caroline giggled, and that surprised him, too. An actual giggle out of this normally serious, focused woman? She had a fun side beneath that oh-so-proper exterior. He’d suspected as much, but it was good to see that part of her emerging. A side he liked very much. Too bad she had to leave tomorrow. She could use some more fun. Matter of fact, he could, too, but duty called.

  “And the third?” he said. “Let me guess. Metamorphosis?”

  Her smile grew wider. “That’s why you’re the PhD.”

  “Not likely. There aren’t many words similar to metamorphic to choose from. Confession time, Caroline.” He admired the way her hair waved and curled around her face in a slightly messy but very appealing way. And those pretty eyes fascinated him. They had a story to tell. He shifted in his chair. “At heart, I’m really just a guy who stomps around looking for new rock formations, minerals, and the occasional gems. Then I share what I’ve learned with students who share my passion.”

  “Are most of your students male?”

  Interesting question. He wondered why she asked, but he’d let it slide. “About eighty percent male. Eighteen percent are female and the others are generally of an indeterminate gender except in the summer and fall seasons.” Seemed he couldn’t resist teasing her.

  The expression on Caroline’s face made him smile.

  “Are you going to explain that one?” When she laughed, the tiny, vertical worry line between her brows disappeared. He hoped to make her laugh more often.

  “Only to say that, especially during the cold weather season, the way the students are bundled up, it’s difficult to tell. Seriously,” he insisted as he finished his coffee. “Not trying to be unkind here, but that’s the way it is. Jeans, lumberjack flannel shirts, and boots don’t exactly scream, ‘I’m a woman!’” If Caroline were wearing them, with her pretty curves and feminine features, he’d have no trouble. But his profession didn’t always draw the most feminine types—no girly girls, that was for sure—but perhaps he should keep that comment to himself.

  “I’m going to give you my card.” Pulling out his wallet, he took one out and handed it to her. “Feel free to call anytime. I want to be your friend, Caroline. Stay in touch with you.”

  As she finished her coffee, Caroline’s confusion was apparent. “I don’t have a card,” she said, “but if you’d like, I’ll write my number and email on the back of one of your cards.”

  “I’d like that.” Seth noticed her hand trembled slightly as she took the card he handed to her. When he offered his pen, she took it and wrote down a couple of phone numbers. Her fingers were long, slender, and she kept her nails short with only clear polish. At this time of the year, Jenica always painted her nails a deep color—too dark—and they were long. Too long. She’d balked at the idea of bowling when he’d suggested it. Anything that would break a fingernail was taboo for their dates. Maybe that shouldn’t bother him, but it did.

  What was with the comparisons between Caroline and Jenica tonight? Whoa. Shouldn’t it be Jenica and Caroline? Get over yourself, Barnes. He couldn’t stop his thoughts, and right now, his mind was telling him that the girl sitting across from him was much more his preferred type of girl than Jenica Larsen would ever be, especially for the long term.

  Caroline handed the card back to him. “The first one is my home number. I’ll be living at home while I’m at Harvard, at least this first year. The second is my cell phone, but I hate the thing and might not always answer.”

  “Will that be difficult for you to live at home again?”

  “Yes.” That one word said a lot, but he let it drop. She’d elaborate if she wanted.

  Tucking the card with her contact information in his wallet, Seth gave her a smile he hoped she’d find encouraging. “Are you ready to go back to Landon’s now or would you like some more coffee? Sure you don’t want something to eat?”

  “I’m fine unless you want something,” she said. “I had plenty to eat at the wedding reception before I pulled the disappearing act.”

  “Let’s head back to
Landon’s then.” When Caroline started to remove his jacket from her shoulders, he stopped her. “You wear it for now.” When she graced him with her smile, it threw him off kilter. Way off kilter. Made him want to say as many witty things as he could for a fleeting glimpse of that sweet smile again.

  Jenica’s smile was pretty—everything about Jenica screamed pretty—but her smile didn’t make him feel like…this.

  Chapter 12

  ~~♥~~

  As they walked back to Landon’s, Seth told her more about the area, including some of the fun festivals held annually in that part of New England. Trying not to be obvious, Caroline stole quick glimpses of him when they passed beneath a lamp post. He almost caught her a couple of times, and she forced herself to look straight ahead. Then he did catch her staring. By that time, she didn’t care whether or not Seth knew she found him attractive. More than attractive.

  But where could it lead? Nowhere. Admitting to her attraction would prove nothing more than she was a grownup, an adult woman, with normal physical desires. She’d stayed pure all these years not so much because of a strong sense of morality, and certainly not for religious reasons, but more because of her intense dedication to her studies. Not that some of the guys she’d gone out with once or twice hadn’t tried every line, every move, on her. Beverly Landon would probably say something about how God was protecting her. Who knows? Maybe there was something to all this God talk.

  No, she didn’t need nor did she want the distraction of a man or a relationship. She’d seen firsthand the effects of what sleeping with men did to Kat and Paulina’s self-esteem after they’d shared that most intimate, personal part of themselves. She’d held her roommates’ hands and dried their tears after they’d been dumped by yet one more man. Then they’d seek solace in the arms of another man. They couldn’t seem to understand they were worth more than that. She was worth more than that. Oh, no. She wasn’t dipping her toe in those waters anytime soon, and even then, she’d only date one man at a time. Not until she was established in her career. For now, if she wanted romance, she’d pick up a book or see a movie. That’s all she needed.