Secretly Hers (Sterling Canyon)

by Jamie Beck

He actually had a little time before he was to meet Kelsey. He grabbed a jacket and closed his bedroom door behind him as he strode through the apartment.

  “Thought you had another hour before your appointment?” Grey called out as he came around the breakfast bar and approached Trip, lollipop in hand.

  “Need to make a quick stop first.” Trip zipped up his fleece, grateful for a nonjudgmental friend who hadn’t questioned his ability to handle parenthood. Maybe that made Grey foolish, but it had helped lessen Trip’s own doubts.

  Grey slapped him on the shoulder. “Good luck. Tell Kelsey I said congrats.”

  “Will do.” Trip nodded and headed toward the door.

  “Will you be back tonight?”

  “Not sure, ‘Mom.’” He snickered. “Didn’t know I had a curfew.”

  “Does anyone other than you laugh at your jokes?” Grey tucked his hands under his armpits, smirking. “With all this baby business, I’m just making sure you don’t forget about tomorrow’s climb. Group of four. Eight o’clock meet up downstairs.”

  “I’ll be there.” Trip grabbed one of his hats. “See you later.”

  Within minutes, Trip was browsing the pregnancy book section in Mind Matters bookstore, a place he didn’t frequent often. There were several such books, including a couple specifically geared toward expectant fathers. Flipping through them, Trip had some kind of out-of-body experience, like he was looking at himself through an ever-expanding tunnel.

  This time next year, he’d be carrying a child around town, changing diapers, going to the doctor’s office for checkups—generally being exhausted and overwhelmed.

  No more women. No more going where he wanted when he wanted. No more putting his needs first.

  He shoved the book back on the shelf, a thin line of perspiration dampening his brow. Take a deep breath.

  What the hell was wrong with him? He’d scaled mountains, skied off cliffs, even skydived a time or two. How could one little baby scare the shit out of him?

  At thirty-two, he was more than mature enough to raise a child. He had money, even if he didn’t want to use it for himself. He had a warm, sensual woman who’d be a terrific mom and was more than capable of holding his interest.

  He blew out another breath and selected two books, one for himself and one for Kelsey.

  On his way to the register, he saw Mason enter the store. Shit. He hadn’t thought about his brother for a blissful twenty-four hours. The last thing he needed to worry about today was protecting himself, Kelsey, or this baby from his brother.

  He tucked the books under his arm, hoping Mason didn’t see them, and proceeded toward the register.

  No such luck.

  “Trip, I just saw Kelsey.” He stood a few feet away—outside Trip’s reach. Apparently Mason didn’t quite trust Trip to keep his fists to himself. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

  Despite his benign words, Mason had a way of keeping Trip on the defensive. Trip’s heart started beating a little too fast. Why had Mason been with Kelsey? What had he done to screw this up for Trip now?

  For his father’s sake, he willed himself to relax and be civil. Kelsey knew the truth about Mason, and she was pregnant with Trip’s child. She was smart enough not to fall for Mason’s schemes again.

  “It’s true.” Trip eyed him warily. “I just told Dad a few minutes ago.”

  Mason hesitated, appearing to study Trip while weighing his words. “I’m sure he’s happy. He loves being a granddaddy. Probably hoping you’ll give him a grandson, seeing as my girls aren’t much into football.”

  No snide remarks. No smirking. Only the tiniest hint of envy in the grandson comment. Good God, this version of Mason might be scarier than the combative one.

  “Dad’s always adored your girls,” Trip replied awkwardly, feeling uneasy in a conversation with his brother that wasn’t loaded with anger and accusation.

  “Yes, he has.” Mason rolled his shoulders back. “Anyway, Kelsey tells me you promised to see this through with her, as a partner and a parent. I hope you didn’t give her false hope only to let her down later.”

  “I didn’t.” Mason’s condescension annoyed Trip, but he thought of his dad’s wishes and clamped down the resentment boiling in his gut. “We agreed to take it one day at a time.”

  “Hmpf.” Mason shook his head. “Once again, you’re so cocksure of yourself, just like Dad. Kelsey’s pregnant, Gunner. One day at a time? Don’t you think you should count your lucky stars that she wants you back and just man up? Make a commitment, or you’ll be sorry when she gives up on you and then you have to watch some other guy step in and help raise your kid. Trust me, nothing is harder than that.”

  For the first time, the bitterness in his brother’s eyes wasn’t directed at Trip. Beneath the anger, Trip saw his hurt, too, which deflated whatever irritation he felt at being lectured to by Mason. If it had been Grey, Trip might’ve patted his shoulder. But despite the tentative tone of truce in this discussion, he couldn’t quite bring himself to make such a gesture to his brother. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  The mere thought of having to share his kid with some other guy, let alone having Kelsey in the arms of another man, gave Trip an instant headache. He wondered if Mason walked around shouldering that agony all day. “Mason, we both know why Dad sent you here. But you should be in Denver, close to your girls. Tell him to get someone else to oversee Wade’s project.”

  “Dad’s counting on me.” Mason swallowed whatever he was about to say next. Probably something sarcastic about how Trip wouldn’t understand. But hey, his silence was progress.

  “I know you’ve never liked to disappoint Dad, but don’t you think your daughters need you more than he does? And maybe you need them just as much.” Trip hoped his remarks sounded supportive instead of judgmental. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to pay for these and get to an appointment.”

  Mason waved Trip toward the counter and then strolled over to the new release shelves.

  Trip squirmed in his waiting room seat, surrounded by pastel-colored art and a bunch of women. Across from him sat a middle-aged mother with a teen daughter who looked even more uncomfortable than Trip felt. The woman to his right looked like her baby should’ve been born months ago, her stomach was so enormous. Kelsey sat to his left, browsing the pregnancy book he’d bought her earlier. Another pregnant woman sat in the corner.

  The high concentration of estrogen in the stuffy, windowless room was giving him more vertigo than an expert-only rated climb.

  “Kelsey?” A nurse called out.

  “Right here.” Kelsey’s sunny smile helped him settle. Knowing he’d helped put that smile on her face was deeply satisfying, too. “Ready?”

  “Yep,” he lied. He didn’t know exactly what happened inside this kind of doctor’s office, but he guessed it wasn’t anything a man should have to see.

  Dr. Davis, a pleasant, plump woman in her midfifties, helped put Trip at ease with her friendly, but matter-of-fact, approach to the visit. After asking a laundry list of questions, and performing a pelvic exam that made Trip very glad Kelsey’s doctor wasn’t a guy, she turned on some equipment and squeezed blue gel over the tip of some kind of probe.

  Kelsey didn’t look bothered, but Trip felt his eyebrows scale his forehead and his thighs squeeze together when he watched it disappear under the paper drape over Kelsey’s legs. Then he heard Kelsey gasp. He followed her gaze toward the screen, where he saw a whole lot of black and gray and not much else.

  “See that little sac?” Dr. Davis extended her finger toward the screen. Trip strained to discern the sac from the rest of the photo, but he finally saw it. “That’s the yolk sac and that tiny pea is the baby.”

  His breath stuck in his lungs. His baby might not be any bigger than a sesame seed, but there it was, safe and warm inside this beautiful creature to his right.

  “I don’t hear a heartbeat.” Kelsey’s anxious voice and pinched forehead caused Trip to hold her h
and while he looked at the doctor, praying for a non-devastating explanation. He could handle almost anything except seeing Kelsey hurt.

  “You’re not quite six weeks along, so it’s a little early for the heartbeat.” The doctor kept wiggling that probe and studying the screen while she spoke. “At your next appointment you’ll hear it and see more than this tiny speck.”

  Kelsey’s face glowed once more. She craned her neck and squinted, concentrating on trying to see a baby instead of a dot. Then she pried Trip’s fingers from her hand. “Ouch.”

  He hadn’t realized he’d been squeezing her hand. He looked at the little spot and back at Kelsey.

  No doubts now. This was all real. A baby. A family. Hopefully one like he’d had with his mom and grandfather. Thinking of them, he wondered if they could see this somehow, from above. His mother would’ve doted on her grandchild.

  His nose tingled and he felt his eyes begin to water. Overwhelmed by emotions he couldn’t name, he leaned forward, kissed Kelsey’s temple, and smoothed her hair. He might not be one hundred percent sure he could handle these changes, but he didn’t want her to doubt him.

  She broke into another smile before turning to the doctor. “So what’s the due date?”

  “May ninth, give or take.” The doctor handed Kelsey a printed picture of the ultrasound. “Let’s schedule your next visit in four weeks. In the meantime, fill this prenatal vitamin prescription, eat healthy, get lots of rest, and stay hydrated.”

  Trip doubted Kelsey even heard the doctor’s last remark, she’d been so focused on the photo in her hand. Radiant—the only word that came to mind when he looked at her face. Seeing her full of joy and love and excitement made his heart beat a little faster. She looked gorgeous and sexy and, best of all, she was all his. That thought stirred a different part of his anatomy.

  “Hey, Doc.” Trip’s one and only question might be indelicate, but he had to ask. “So, are there any restrictions on other activities, like, you know . . . sex?”

  Kelsey covered her face, but Dr. Davis chuckled. “Normal sexual activity is perfectly safe and healthy.”

  Relief washed through Trip, because the very next thing he wanted to do with his day was get Kelsey into bed. It’d been three weeks since she’d called quits on all physical contact, and he was more than eager to resume that part of this relationship.

  As soon as the doctor left the office, Trip turned to Kelsey.

  She sat up, cheeks as red as apples, and motioned toward her clothes for his help. “I can’t believe the only question you asked this whole time was about sex.”

  “Really?” He handed her the dress and gave her a peck on the lips before joking, “I think anyone who knows me would expect that to be the only question I’d ask.”

  At least she snickered before putting her clothes back on while still seated on the table. “I’m hungry.”

  He stepped in between her legs and tugged her against his body. “Me too.”

  “I’m serious!” But she kissed him.

  “Me too.” He cupped the back of her head and sucked her lower lip into his mouth.

  “Feed me first.” She let out a happy sigh and hopped off the table. “I just realized, now I have a legitimate excuse to eat for two.”

  Trip smacked her curvy behind on their way out the door. “Eat whatever you want, ’cause you’ll be getting plenty of exercise tonight.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Kelsey tossed her keys on the end table when they entered her home. Before she could remove her jacket, Trip came up behind her and looped his arms around her stomach. A perfect ending to an amazing afternoon.

  Two days ago, she’d feared a Texas-size tantrum in response to her news. Nothing had shocked her more than Trip’s willingness to not only embrace the baby but also her. Now she prayed he wasn’t hiding doubts or regrets.

  “We’ve had dinner,” he murmured in her ear. “Time for dessert.”

  “You have a one-track mind.” Not that she minded the direction of his thoughts. She’d been distracted by the same thing ever since they’d left the doctor’s office.

  “Come on, princess.” He spun her around, removed her jacket, and flung it on a nearby chair before tugging her close. His sexy voice coaxed, “Admit that you’ve missed me.”

  “My God, if we have a son, I hope he’s more humble than you,” she teased, slapping his shoulder.

  “If we have a son?” He smirked, as if the idea of a baby girl were pure whimsy.

  “Trip, not even the almighty you can decide the baby’s gender.”

  “Au contraire. The father totally controls it based on whether his X or Y chromosome gets there first.” He nodded in that smug way that still managed to be cute. “I’ve done my research.”

  “But you can’t control which sperm swims faster.”

  He released her for a second and swept his hand from his head down the length of his torso. “Do I look or act like a guy with any X chromosomes in his body?” He shook his head, grinning, then grabbed her into his arms again. “Trust me, this baby is a boy.”

  He was so ridiculously sure of himself, and not even the least bit embarrassed by his caveman attitude, she could do nothing but laugh.

  His green eyes twinkled, and the little dimple in his chin deepened, when he smiled in response to her laughter. Then, quick as a brisk wind, he turned serious. He lifted her chin and looked in her eyes. “But if, by some miracle, it is a girl, I hope she’s exactly like you.”

  Just like that, her knees weakened and her heart swelled. She threaded her hands through his hair and kissed him with her entire soul. Everything she’d wanted for so long lay at the tips of her fingers, and she’d be damned if she wouldn’t dig in and hold on.

  Within two seconds, he’d lifted her into his arms and begun to walk to her bedroom. Cowboy tried to follow them, but Trip nudged the door closed with his knee before the kitten could slip inside. He then set Kelsey on her feet, near the bed, facing away from him. After brushing her hair to the side, he kissed the back of her neck and shoulders as he slowly unzipped her dress.

  She loved the sound of his breath growing heavy, the little hum in the back of his throat, the hard ridge of his erection pressing against her butt.

  Her silky dress slid down her body and puddled around her ankles, but before she could step out of it, he ran his hands down her arms to her hips. His hot mouth latched on to the base of her neck as he caressed her abdomen before reaching for her breast.

  He sank his other hand inside the elastic of her lace panties to where she was already wet and ready for him.

  “Oh.” She reached up behind herself in search of his silky hair while he continued his tender ministrations. “Wait. You’re still dressed.”

  She felt him smile against her neck. He held his hands above his head, silently instructing her to undress him at her leisure.

  At her leisure, indeed. She savored the chance to admire all six feet three inches of his rock-solid frame.

  As she began to remove his pullover, she reveled in every flinch of muscle under her fingertips, every sharp inhale as she feathered kisses over his chest, the tension in his abdomen as she dropped to her knees and unzipped his pants.

  He sprang out of his boxers, so she removed them and took him into her mouth. His head fell back with a groan and his hands immediately threaded in her hair. “Sweet Jesus, princess.”

  She used her hands and mouth to work him until his knees began to buckle, at which point he pulled free, lifted her up, and laid her on her bed. Standing at the edge of the mattress, he raised one of her legs up to his shoulder and unfastened the brass clasp of her blue velvet platform heels. He dropped the shoe, kissed her ankle, then slowly lowered her leg before repeating the routine with her other shoe.

  Her heart galloped inside her chest thanks to the gleam in his eye and the tenderness of his touch.

  “I thought you liked my sexy shoes,” she said, as he bent over and slowly removed her underpants.


  “I like how they look. But let’s not risk any bruises tonight.” Then he crawled onto the mattress and pulled her across his body to straddle his lap. He reached around to unfasten her bra and then tossed it aside. His lusty gaze and rasped voice made her insides clench with anticipation. “No more talk.”

  He sat up to kiss her, fastening her against his body with one arm while caressing her back and neck with his free hand. His passionate, hot, hungry kissing shot tingles through her limbs, like always. Her heart soared when he acted like he couldn’t get enough.

  But when he grabbed her hair like reins, Kelsey had other ideas. She shoved at his chest and pinned his arms above his head. Rather than resist, he caught her breast in his mouth, seeming quite content with her plans.

  She remained lowered to his mouth while she began grinding against his erection without taking him inside her body.

  “Kelsey!” He bucked his hips against her, seeking entrance, but she continued the slow torment while he sucked harder at her nipples until she felt like she might come.

  In a weak moment, she loosened her grip on his arms. He immediately wrested free, gripped her hips, and entered her.

  Both of them groaned as he thrust himself inside. She thought he’d flip her over, but he seemed to enjoy watching her ride his body. He brought her hands up to her breasts then returned his to her hips. When she fondled herself per his unspoken request, he moaned. His gaze darted from her face to her breasts and back until he finally closed his eyes and pressed the back of his head into the mattress.

  She rotated her hips in quick circles, loving each and every growl and grunt she heard. Then she leaned forward to kiss him while meeting each thrust of his pelvis.

  He kissed her back, his tongue probing her mouth with as much heat as the other part of his body moving inside hers. Without breaking free, his hands traveled from her head, down her back, and then gripped her hips.

  He slammed into her with such force it nearly took her breath away. “Baby, you feel so good. Just. Like. That.”

  Everything in her body tightened, like a wave cresting, until it broke open and she came apart in his arms. As her body’s convulsions slowed, his took over and he shouted her name.