Secretly Hers (Sterling Canyon)

by Jamie Beck

  “Aunt Kelsey!” Fee ran over and clasped Kelsey’s legs. “What’d you bring me from Mexico?”

  Kelsey’s eyes filled with joyful tears upon the sudden recognition that, this time next year, she’d have her own son or daughter to love. She held the tears at bay and stroked Fee’s back.

  “You little stinker.” Kelsey grinned and tweaked Fee’s nose. “At least pretend to have missed me before demanding your gift.”

  “Sorry.” Fee’s hands clapped together and she craned her neck and tried to look inside Kelsey’s giant purse. “But what did you bring me?”

  Kelsey laughed at her mini-me, although Maura looked mortified. She reached into her bag and pulled out a colorful, embroidered cotton dress and hair comb embellished with a large silk flower. “What do you think of these pretty things? Now you can dress up and make believe you’re in Mexico.”

  “Yay!” Fee tore the items from Kelsey’s hands and ran off, presumably to change her clothes, while shouting an obligatory thanks over her shoulder.

  Kelsey retrieved a petite pair of painted maracas from her bag and waved them in the air. “These are for Ty.”

  “Thanks, sis.” Maura took them from Kelsey and then went to sit beside her husband at the table. “Now that Fee’s gone, come tell us your big news. Does it have to do with that real estate sale you were hoping to close?”

  “No, it’s not a work thing.” Four pairs of eyes fixed on her face, their scrutiny making her feel like she was buck naked on the sidewalk. She took a deep breath. God, she dreaded saying the words again, but maybe her family would surprise her with their reaction, like Trip had. “Let me sit. And pass the pie.”

  Kelsey opted for the empty chair at the far end of the table and delayed the inevitable by filling her plate and taking her first bite. Her heart pounded, which only made her mad at herself. She hated feeling like a coward. Just begin.

  Setting down her fork, she glanced at everyone as she drew in a deep breath. “So, I know this will be unexpected, and maybe not anything you’ll consider good news at first, but I just want you to know ahead of time, I’m happy.” She watched her family exchange worried glances. “With that said, I guess I’ll just blurt it out: I’m pregnant.”

  All at once, her mother gasped, Maura dropped her fork, and Bill donned a “holy shit” expression.

  Kelsey forced a broad smile—her defense shield against the anticipated barrage of questions.

  Her dad fired the first shot.

  “Who’s the father?” His concerned tone reassured her until she caught a glimpse of Maura silently mouthing “not him, not him.”

  “Trip Lexington, whom you met here, at my birthday dinner.” She kept her voice as even as possible, despite her rising body temperature and rocketing pulse.

  “Didn’t he just get arrested the other week?” her mother asked, one hand raised to her mouth in surprise.

  “Those charges will be dropped. It was a fight between brothers. I’m not defending him, but there’s a lot about their history that people don’t know or understand.”

  “You were dating brothers?” Her father’s horrified expression reminded her of the time she, Emma, and Avery had been picked up for vandalism in the spring of their senior year for painting their graduation year on the high school parking lot. Just like back then, his disapproval made her stomach twist.

  “I didn’t know they were brothers. They have different last names.” Her response appeared to heighten her dad’s dismay. “It sounds worse than it was, Dad. It was just a first date with Mason. Trip and I weren’t exclusive at that point. Shoot, not helping. Now Dad thinks I’m promiscuous and stupid. “It’s complicated.”

  Maura then sank her forehead into her palm. “Oh, boy.”

  Trying to lighten the mood, Kelsey joked, “Not necessarily. It could be a girl.” She then shoveled another giant bite of pie into her mouth, hoping the sugary goodness would calm her roiling stomach.

  “Babies aren’t a joke, Kelsey.” Maura shook her head, while their mother and dad sat in some kind of crestfallen state. “I can’t believe I couldn’t talk you out of your crazy arrangement when I knew, knew it would end in disaster.”

  “Maura!” Thankfully her dad cut off Maura’s tirade. After collecting himself, he turned back toward Kelsey with hope in his eyes. “So you’re dating this Trip character now . . . exclusively, I presume?”

  “Yes—” Kelsey began at the exact same time Maura scoffed, “Ha.”

  Maura shot Kelsey a surprised stare. “Oh?”

  “Trip and I are planning to raise this child together. Together together.” She stared at her sister, pretending to feel triumph while knowing Maura had watched her inhale a gallon or more of ice cream at that very table while crying about him the other week. But he did want to be with her, and he said it wasn’t just because of the baby. He’d never lied before, and she desperately wanted to believe him.

  “So if you’re together and planning to raise this baby, will you be getting married soon?” Her mother’s gentle voice caught Kelsey off guard.

  “No.” Kelsey noticed her mother’s struggle not to cry. “This has caught us both by surprise. We’d never planned on this baby or talked about the future. For now, we’re just taking things one day at a time.”

  It killed her to disappoint her parents. If she’d come with an engagement announcement, everyone in this room would’ve been happier, including her.

  Ruthlessly she shoved that thought aside. Dwelling on what wasn’t just wasted time and energy. Instead she’d embrace what was: impending motherhood, and a real relationship with a man she found exceedingly attractive and exciting, if sometimes exasperating. Weren’t those worth celebrating?

  “Mom, Dad, please be happy for me. I know this isn’t the best way for me to start a family, but I’m thirty-one, not sixteen, and I’m thrilled about becoming a mother. Now Maura and I can be pregnant together and our kids will be close. It may not be ideal, but it can still be a blessing.”

  “Why didn’t he come here and face me?” Her dad’s disdain had never been a good sign.

  “He offered, but I thought it would be better if I broke the news on my own.” Kelsey stretched out her arms and planted her palms on the tabletop. “Please don’t come down on Trip. He’s always been honest with me, and thoughtful. Despite being a bit of a bull in a china shop, he’s sensitive to my feelings. He’s fun, he really likes me as I am and not just because of this baby, and I think he’ll be a loving father.”

  “Do you?” Maura asked. “Based on what?”

  “Based on how he interacts with Fee, and on things he’s told me in confidence. Reasons it’s really important to him that any kid of his knows he’s loved.” She looked around the table. “We may not be engaged yet, but I wouldn’t bother dating him if I didn’t believe we had a good chance of ending up together. As you’re all pointing out, I’ve got a tough road ahead. Please don’t make it harder for me. Just love me and support me now, okay?”

  Maura sighed. After exchanging some silent mind-reading message with Bill, she rose from her chair and came around the table to hug Kelsey. “Congratulations, Kels. It will be nice to go through our pregnancies together.”

  Kelsey clung to her sister as she noticed her parents exchange a resigned look.

  “Guess there’s not much more to say. What’s done is done,” her mother finally said through a strained smile. “And we certainly can’t be sad about another grandbaby.”

  Kelsey had hoped for a little more enthusiasm, but she knew her parents weren’t looking forward to the gossip within their church group. She’d have to give them time to come around.

  “Hey, Kels,” Bill interrupted. “Think Trip will give me an in-law discount on some backcountry action?”

  Kelsey smiled, grateful for Bill’s attempt to lift the weight from the room with a little levity. “I’ve skied with you. Stick to the corduroy so we don’t have to dig you out of an avalanche.”

  Bill chuckled and th
e tension ebbed from the room. As Kelsey answered more questions about her recent trip and her pregnancy, she couldn’t help but wonder about how Trip was feeling and whether he’d told his family.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Kelsey sat at her desk with the phone pressed to her ear, rubbing the creases from her forehead with two fingers. “Just because Wade’s still waiting on the completed impact study doesn’t mean we should halt all negotiations, Nick. Let’s hammer out the major deal points with an option agreement so we’re ready to go once we learn that, overall, the development project will be a boon for town and for your family.”

  She tapped the eraser of her pencil against her desk while listening to Nick Copeland hem and haw on the phone. This deal mattered more than ever now. Raising a child would be an expensive undertaking. Trip said he’d help, but his business was never going to be a cash cow. Kelsey knew she’d have to be the breadwinner. If this commission mattered to her future before, it meant even more now.

  “I don’t want to spend time and money with lawyers if it’s going to be moot, Kelsey,” Nick replied. “Just hold off until Mr. Kessler gets his hands on that study.”

  “I understand.” Kelsey managed to hide her massive disappointment and remain pleasant and professional. “I’ll be in touch soon.”

  Setting the phone on her desk, she checked her calendar. Fall wasn’t her busiest time of year, but things would ramp up soon, as skiers from all over the country would come to town, be struck with mountain fever, and decide to plunk down a wad of money on a vacation home.

  Wade’s retail project would make the town that much more appealing to potential buyers. God, she really wanted this deal to go through. If only Trip hadn’t stirred up the town and forced the idea of that darn impact study. If she didn’t like him so much, she’d wring his neck. The delay he’d caused was costing Wade time and money and giving the sellers cold feet.

  Trip. Such a contradiction. A womanizer, a former womanizer, but with a gentle heart. Bigger than life. Sexy as hell, but just as frustrating and intractable. So why did the very thought of him make her smile inside and out?

  Sitting back, she sipped her orange juice and popped a strawberry in her mouth. Folic acid—check. Satisfaction? Not so much. Why weren’t mochas and cinnamon muffins good for fetal development?

  The bell above her door jingled. She looked up just as Mason strolled through her door looking suitably humble, a faded yellow-green bruise beneath his eye the sole evidence of his fight.

  So much had happened since that night, it already seemed a lifetime ago. Dormant humiliation shot a blast of heat to her cheeks. Kelsey brazened ahead, resting her chin atop steepled fingers while Mason politely smiled and cleared his throat.

  “Sorry for the intrusion,” he began, “but I was afraid you’d tell me to go to hell if I’d called first.”

  For an instant, she considered saying it then and there, but part of her wanted to hear why he’d come.

  When she didn’t give him the boot, he continued. “I remembered you were getting back yesterday, so I thought I’d take a chance. May I sit for a minute?”

  Despite everything she knew about him, something about Mason garnered her empathy. Maybe it was his fierce loyalty to his mother, or his own disappointment over his divorce, or the fact that today he looked dejected. Or maybe her current “baby brain” had chased away whatever animosity she’d harbored the other week.

  Of all the ways she could look at things, one inescapable fact existed. Mason would be her baby’s uncle, for better or worse. Maybe he and Trip didn’t see it yet, but Kelsey knew blood mattered. Family mattered. She’d always been optimistic about the power of love. So if, by some miracle, she might be able to broker peace in the Cutler family, by God she would try.

  “You look better than I would’ve expected. I’m glad Trip didn’t cause any permanent damage.” She gestured toward the chairs on the other side of her desk. “So, what can I do for you today?”

  “Accept my apology.” He flashed a hopeful grin before sitting back and flicking nonexistent lint from his slacks. “I’m sorry I wasn’t completely aboveboard with you when we met. I promise, I didn’t intend to hurt or embarrass you.”

  “But you did.”

  “And I regret it. As I tried to explain before, I knew you had some kind of relationship with Gunner, but needling him wasn’t my sole interest once I actually met you. I’m going through a divorce and am lonely living in a town with no friends. You’re quite pretty, and I admire your ambition and directness. I’d thought offering you an alternative—someone mature and stable—might’ve been what you wanted, too.”

  His expression and tone sounded earnest, but given his long history of trying to outwit Trip, she had a hard time believing him. “Thank you for the apology. You’ll understand if I need a little time to accept your sincerity.”

  “Of course.” He edged forward in his seat, staring directly at her. “Now that everything is out in the open, perhaps in time you’ll let me start over?”

  Kelsey cocked her head. “You haven’t spoken with Trip this morning, have you?”

  “No.” Mason’s shoulders stiffened. “Why?”

  If the brothers had ever been close, she’d have told Mason to ask Trip. Under the circumstances, however, she decided it might be better he hear it from her. “I’m pregnant.”

  “Oh.” His brows rose high on his forehead. “How long have you known?”

  “Figured it out in Mexico. I told Trip last night. He and I are going to raise this child together, so while I’m not holding a grudge, I think you realize we can’t be more than friends. Even that will be difficult unless you work things out with your brother.”

  Mason blinked, and, for a second, she saw the passing resemblance between him and Trip. How had she missed it before?

  Shrugging, he admitted, “Of course, you’re right.”

  He appeared a bit dazed before he finally rose from the chair. “Congratulations, Kelsey. I hope you’ll be happy, and I hope my brother is up to the task of parenthood.”

  “You don’t give him enough credit, Mason. I offered him the out, but he insisted not only on being involved with our child, but also with me.”

  “He hasn’t shown much use for family or relationships these past ten years, so you’ll forgive me for my doubts.”

  “Mason, do me a favor.” She stood up to meet him eye to eye. “Remember that this baby is your blood, too. Kids need tons of love, and I want my child to have a good relationship with both sides of his or her family.” Kelsey kept talking, even after Mason stared at the ground. “Maybe I’m crossing a line here, and I know I don’t have the whole story, but whatever your dad did, and however your family changed after Trip’s arrival, it wasn’t Trip’s fault he was born. Just like this baby is coming into the world innocent. Maybe it’s time for peace?”

  Mason’s flushed cheeks warned Kelsey that he didn’t see it her way, nor did he appreciate her point of view.

  “This is a subject I suggest you steer clear of, Kelsey. I came to apologize, and don’t want to argue or defend myself anymore.”

  “Mason, he’s your brother. Doesn’t that mean anything to you at all? Aren’t you even a little curious about what could happen if you two stopped fighting and tried to be friends?”

  Mason studied her as if she were some strange zoo exhibit he’d never seen. “I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, but I don’t share your faith in Gunner. He’s never sustained a friendship beyond five years or an adult relationship with any woman beyond a few encounters. He’s always been happiest skimming the surface, having a good time, not caring about others’ expectations. Nothing in his past points toward him being a good partner or father.” Mason rocked back and forth on his heels before crossing to the door. He placed his hand on the knob, then paused and glanced back over his shoulder. “I hope, for your sake, he proves me wrong.”

  Kelsey hid the chilling effect of his warning behind a blank expression.
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  After he disappeared, she slouched into her chair and laid her hand over her stomach. Trip’s history didn’t bode well for her future, but her gut urged her not to give up on him. People could change when motivated, when they met the right person.

  All this time she’d been holding herself back, following Trip’s stupid tips. No more. She would be herself, show her feelings, and shower him with affection. And, in her heart, she just knew it would be exactly what he needed.

  Leaning her head down low, she whispered to her little bean, “Don’t you worry. Your daddy will prove everyone wrong.”

  Trip held the phone away from his ear in anticipation of his father’s reaction to the life-altering news. He couldn’t help but feel like the world’s biggest hypocrite after the way he’d argued with his dad two days ago. Hell, after the way he’d felt for most of his life.

  Silence reigned for several seconds before Ross Cutler spoke.

  “I’m delighted, son.” His father’s surprising blessing eased some of Trip’s fears. “For you and for me.”

  “Why for you?” Trip grinned. “Because now you’ve got a shot at a grandson?”

  “Partly,” his dad said through a chuckle. “More because you’ll learn exactly how much I love you even though you weren’t planned. Maybe this baby will finally convince you of that and unite us as a family.”

  Trip considered the swell of emotion that had arisen since Kelsey dropped the bombshell. The protectiveness he already felt toward her and junior, the connection he’d felt by the time he’d left her house. Was that how love began? Was that what his father had experienced when they’d first met?

  “I hadn’t thought about it that way.” In a moment of discomfort, he rushed his dad off the phone. “Listen, I’ve got to take Kelsey to the doctor now. Thanks for being supportive. I’ll talk to you soon.”