Code Name: Ghost

by Natasza Waters

  * * * *

  The Commander had been back for two weeks, and they’d managed to avoid each other. She swapped her shifts to all evenings, which meant she was only in the office for an hour before he left for the day. Twice she’d had to give him a debrief, and both times the air between them felt more like jell-o, tense and vibrating.

  Both he and Captain Redding had a late meeting today and both of them were still in at seventeen hundred hours. As she passed by their door on her way to the bathroom, Redding waved his hand. “If you have a minute, Kayla.”

  Shit! “Yes—sir.”

  The Captain’s white brows arched, as if he saw her distress. He shuffled some papers on his desk. “I’m drafting the Christmas schedule, and you’re off.”

  She nodded. “John’s family is having a large reunion; everyone is coming from the four corners of the planet. I’ll work the twenty-forth through the twenty-sixth for him.”

  Redding began to shake his head. “Jake, said you were working his shifts. That would mean three days of double shifts.”

  “Yes, sir, that’s right.” She turned to go, but he cleared his throat, a sure sign she needed to stop. Peering at him, he began to shake his head.

  “Kayla, I was suggesting you have Christmas off, and that maybe you wanted to take an extra cycle off and go home.” He surveyed her with concern.

  “No, sir.” The Commander watched her, but she refused to look at him. Looking at him caused her physical pain now. As soon as the new year came, she would start looking for another job, somewhere far away from Coronado and Thane.

  “You’re not working straight through Christmas, Kayla,” Thane said.

  Keeping her eyes fixed on Captain Redding, she said, “I do it every year, sir. It’ll be slow anyway.”

  Redding placed the schedules on his desk and crossed his hands. “You’re not working Christmas Eve.”

  “Why?” It was usually a relief to management when someone like her could work.

  “Because you’re spending it at my house,” he declared, rising from his chair. “We have a dinner for friends and family, and you’re going to be there.” He limped toward her and placed a fatherly hold on either side of her arms. “I’ll consider the other shifts, and let you know.” He paused, “but you are going to spend Christmas Eve with my family, agreed?”

  A stuttered breath escaped her, and her stomach churned. She didn’t want to be rude. “That’s very kind, sir, but I don’t think I can.” She took a step back, but her legs weakened and it probably looked more like a stagger.

  The Commander vaulted from his chair. “Kayla, what’s wrong?”

  She had to get out of here. “Excuse me.”

  With a surge of will, she bolted from the room without a glance at Thane. Maybe she should have accepted the Captain’s invitation to take Christmas off. With a quick stride, she passed Karen’s desk.

  The admin assistant tipped her head up. “Going to the Christmas party, Kayla?”

  “No,” and she kept walking at a good clip.

  “Bitch,” she heard Karen mutter under her breath.

  Any other time she would have burned the woman, instead she shot around the corner and thrust the bathroom door open, relieved to see it empty. Thrusting the tap on, she cupped her hands and splashed cold water onto her face, then clutched the edge of the counter, letting the droplets slide down her cheeks and drip from her chin.

  Raising her head, she stared back at herself in the mirror. The ghost of Christmas past haunted her. She squeezed her eyes tightly together when the glass began to waver as if it were a living entity. There were ten days to go before Christmas, but just the mention of it threw her into a tailspin.

  Her first instinct was to call Greg. No. This Christmas she would manage on her own. Greg deserved a life instead of standing guard over her.

  She clumsily turned and used the wall to steady herself, but it wasn’t enough and her legs gave out. Her butt reached the ceramic tiles of the floor just as the bathroom door flew open. Pressing her hands to her face, she didn’t care who saw her.

  “Kayla?”

  Except maybe him. Her voice muffled, she said, “You’re in the wrong washroom.” The air moved as he knelt beside her. He tried to pull her hands away, but she resisted. Not forcing it, he caressed her arm. “I just need a second.”

  “Tell me what’s wrong,” he asked gently.

  Invisible blades pierced her heart, and she bled internally. The overwhelming clutch of fear and sadness wanted to swallow her. Searching for her center, concentrating on her breathing, she put her mind in a better place. If she didn’t get up soon, he’d be calling for help. Slowly she leaned her head back against the wall. “All’s well, Commander,” she whispered. His warm palm pressed against her forehead, and his other hand gripped hers.

  “You have a fever.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Your skin is clammy.” His fingers brushed against her cheek. “Today is your third double shift in a row. No more, you’re going home—now. I’m calling someone else in.”

  “No,” she shook her head and swept her legs beneath her, pushing herself to her feet. The room spun and she took a step to balance herself. Thane clutched her, and although she didn’t want his help, she accepted it.

  “The flu’s been going around. You’ve probably got it.”

  Without knowing it, he’d given her an out. “Sure, probably.” She licked her lips and cleared her throat. Looking up at him, she saw concern radiating in his eyes. “I’ll be fine. Maybe I will go home.”

  “I’ll take you. You’re not riding the bus.”

  When he tried to pull her under his arm, she pushed away. “It takes ten minutes, sir.” She needed to sleep, preferably until December twenty-sixth.

  His warm palm cradled her cheek. “Sweetheart, you’re sick. I’m going to take care of you.”

  She shook her head quickly. Definitely not a good idea. The nightmares had started to get worse, only giving her a couple hours of deep sleep each night. “Then we’ll both end up in bed.” His lips twitched, and a small wicked glint sparked in his eyes. She gave him a stern look. “You know what I mean.” Gently his hands slid down her bare arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps.

  “Let me take care of you,” he said, brushing her bangs away from her eyes.

  If she allowed him to see her vulnerability, he’d never see anything else. She yanked his fingers away from her. “Do I look like I’m five years old?” She stepped past him, but she didn’t miss the hurt dawning on his features.

  “We should have talked before now. You’ve been avoiding me.”

  “Yes, I have, but I work thirty steps away from you. If you wanted to talk, you could have asked for a meeting.”

  Thane swallowed heavily, and his gaze shot to the floor. “I don’t know what I want to say. What I should say and what I—want are at war.”

  She clutched the door handle. “You’ve already said it, and I heard you loud and clear.” She yanked the door open, and abruptly stopped, Karen was standing on the other side of it.

  “Commander, Libby Debberville is waiting for you in the lobby. She says you have a dinner date.” Karen’s gaze slid to her, obviously pleased with sharing her message.

  “Thank you, Karen.”

  The Commander brushed around them and headed down the hall. Karen leaned into her. “She’s been his go-to girl for years.”

  Ignoring the jab of jealousy, she said, “Good for him.”

  What she needed was coffee if she was going to get through the next seven hours. Conversation had been enough to push back the demons. When the elevator doors opened, she saw a very tall blonde wrap her arms sensually around Thane’s broad shoulders and place a steamy kiss on his lips. Keeping her attention on the front door, she strode past, but his eyes tracked her.

  “Who’s that?” she heard Libby ask.

  “Just one of my staff,” he answered.

  That’s right, Commander, and nothing more.
A tightness pinched her heart. Never anything more.

  Chapter Nineteen

  A high-pitched scream pierced the air behind Thane. Instead of diving for cover, he slowly turned to see the little redhead, barely the height of the back of his chair with a field of freckles covering her nose, gazing up at him. Crocodile tears welled in her big blues, her bottom lip quivered. Thane chuckled. Reaching out his hand, her eyes widened, but she grasped his fingers with her tiny ones.

  “Come on, little one,” he said, swooping her into the air. Two young boys dodged around his legs and tore across the galley. “Who belongs to this one?” he said, loud enough to punctuate the riot going on around them.

  “Mine, mine, thanks, Commander,” a woman with strawberry blonde hair said, marched toward them with Fox tailing close behind.

  Thane delivered the little girl into Fox’s arms.

  “Hey lil’ fox, why the tears?” his Master Chief asked, cuddling his youngest.

  “Daddy…” Then the waterworks started in earnest.

  “She didn’t have her nap today, she’s cranky,” Kate, Fox’s wife, explained, taking her from him. “There’s Marg, I’m going to go say hello.”

  “This is nuts,” Tony said, curling in his chair and scanning the chaos. “If this is wedded bliss, I’ll pass.”

  “The bliss is making the babies, Tinman. It’s the sixty years after that tests a man’s mettle,” Fox said, chuckling at Tony’s expression and taking a seat next to him.

  A Christmas celebration at the base brought out-and-out bedlam, far noisier than any battlefield. Paper candy canes and colored baubles hung from the ceiling. Big plastic boughs of deep green garland twined with strings of lights strung the walls. The place was duly Christmas-ified.

  “Who’s Santa?” Nathan asked, looking over toward the line of kids waiting to sit on the velvet, red knee of the SEAL who’d volunteered to wear the suit and thrown on a big fluffy beard.

  “It’s Neil Anderson from Team Three,” Red answered, keeping an eye on his five grandchildren while Lydia tried to corral them in the lineup. He pointed behind Thane, stopping him from taking a step backwards and squashing a toddler rushing by with a fistful of candy. “Finished your Christmas shopping, Ghost?”

  “Yeah, and you’re getting something really special this year,” he said, taking his seat. He’d looked for the ugliest sweater he could find, but none came up to snuff. If there was anyone to blame for turning his life into an emotional roller coaster, it was Red.

  Red grinned, knowing he wasn’t getting a tie unless it squirted water in his eye, and the reason why. “Dinner’s at six Christmas Eve.”

  Their squad would get to enjoy Christmas at home this year. That made everyone happy, except him. An image of Kayla followed at lightning speed and settled uncomfortably in his chest. She had been avoiding him as best she could, while he seemed to be balancing on the head of a pin waiting to catch a glimpse of her, his heart jumping every time he did.

  “Where’s Kayla?” Mace asked, snagging a chair from the next table. Nathan and Cobbs were close behind and did the same.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” Marg yelled out, holding Kelsey’s hand as she joined the Santa lineup, and a gaggle of other SEAL wives.

  He waved back.

  Red’s expression twisted with concern. “Don’t know. She hasn’t been herself for the last week. She never leaves the ops room, and she’s been quiet, unusually quiet, actually.”

  “I’ve noticed it, too,” Thane said, picking up a stray candy cane on the table and fingering it. Last week Kayla decorated the Command center during a night shift, but there was nothing merry about her. She had even stopped baking. Wasn’t Christmas when women went nuts with dough? Her warmth had evaporated, obviously he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. The squad had their annual Christmas drunk, and they wanted Kayla to come, but her response was an abrupt no.

  She’d even gotten into a pissing contest two hours ago with Commander Masters, something she’d never done before. Kayla had been right in her judgement, but she’d actually goaded him. Masters took the bait, then was on the phone seconds later railing at him to get his “bitch on a leash” which set him off. When he’d talked to her about Masters, she accepted it with rigid silence. Kayla didn’t defend herself, as if she’d done it on purpose wanting him to discipline her.

  “What the hell are you guys doing here?” Simpson from Team Seven said, appearing at the end of their table.

  Mace shrugged. “Cashing in on the candy cane overdose, why?”

  “Aren’t you going to Breakers? It’s standing room only. You can’t even get in if you don’t get there early.”

  Mace and the guys looked at him, but he had no idea what Simpson was talking about either.

  Reading their vacant expressions, Simpson said, “You’re missing out, men. Snow White’s been singing there every night for a week now. Shit, that woman can sing, but her dresses and the way she shakes it—whoa! The line is out the door and around the building.”

  Thane’s anger puffed to life, and then blasted through him like Napalm. “What?” he growled, rising to his feet, getting the picture pretty damn fast. The thought of Kayla singing in front of a hundred lusting men began eating its way through his brain.

  “Umm.” Simpson’s gaze jumped to Mace for help.

  Tony pushed his chair back. “Mace and I’ll check it out, Commander.”

  “Leave her alone,” Fox said sharply. “I said—sit.” All eyes turned to his Master Chief, including his. “Are y’all deaf?”

  “What’s this about?” Red said, scowling at Fox.

  “I know that look,” Fox said roughly, glaring at Thane. “You go into that bar, and you’re asking for a shit storm, and it won’t be yours. Leave the woman be. She’s got enough to deal with.”

  “Enough of the bullshit, Fox. You pulled this in the desert. If there’s something wrong with Kayla, I want to know what it is. She bloody well yelled at me yesterday.”

  “Me, too,” Mace piped up. “Fox, cough up man, what’s going on with her?”

  Fox nodded toward the line, getting the high sign from Kate. “She has a past to deal with. You can’t help her, none of us can. This is a bad time for her, leave her alone.”

  Cobbs, always the mediator, looked between them. “Maybe you should do what he says, Thane. If she needed our help she’d ask.”

  “No, she wouldn’t.” He turned his attention back on Fox. “What she’s doing is reckless.”

  His Master Chief stood up and squared him with a harsh look. “Maybe in your eyes, but not for her, Commander. She’ll get over it, and she’ll be back, don’t push her.”

  A large crash came from the other end of the Mess hall, followed by a loud shout of disapproval from a distraught mother. “Secrets make us vulnerable, even Kayla’s.” He looked to Red for support. “I pulled her file today. There’s nothing that raises any red flags.”

  Fox let out a deep breath. “We all have secrets, Commander. Snow White has hers, and they’re so fucking ugly you don’t want to know. Believe me. If you go digging, you’ll make it worse.”

  “Master Chief, we’re talking about Kayla here,” Mace said worriedly, leaning over the table. “What could be that bad?”

  Fox bowed his head. “I know what I’m talking about. Drop it, men. Let her come back on her own.”

  Thane saw the seriousness in Fox’s eyes, and his uncharacteristic anger made him pause. “Red, do you know what’s going on?”

  “I’ve had my suspicions for a while now. I think Fox might be right,” Red said, giving him a level stare.

  “What the fuck does that mean?” he spouted.

  It didn’t matter how many years passed, but when Red turned on the expression he remembered from when he was his lieutenant, and had had enough of his bullshit it still worked on his conscience today. “It means—Kayla has always been professional, polite and in control. You push her buttons, Ghost. If you push the wrong one, you’ll regret it.” />
  Caleb joined them, his baby daughter tucked in the crook of his arm. “Hey, men.” He darted a glance at the team. “Something—up?” he said, rocking his little bundle in a thick white blanket.

  “Caleb, talk some sense into this man,” Fox said.

  Caleb’s brows lifted not really getting the gist of the conversation.

  “Commander, I’m asking you to let Kayla be,” Fox urged. “Why can’t you just give her space? What does it matter to you, anyway?”

  “Oh,” Caleb uttered, his brow tightening.

  What the hell did “oh” mean. “Caleb, Kayla hasn’t been herself. She’s hiding from all of us. There is something wrong. We don’t keep secrets, although my Master Chief here thinks otherwise. If there’s something I need to know, spill it.”

  Caleb and Fox exchanged a glance. “Sir, we know each other pretty well. More importantly, Fox and I understand you.” Fox gave Caleb a wary stare. “But the truth is you don’t know Kayla. I think—this one time you need to back off.”

  He glared at his men like they’d all lost their minds. “My Kayla is singing in front of a bunch of men who’d love to have a piece of her. That’s not happening.”

  “Ghost,” Red barked at him.

  “What?” stopping only because it was Red.

  “Son, she’s not yours.”

  Had he said that? Out loud?

  “You said, ‘My Kayla’. She’s not yours, Ghost.” Red stepped in front of him. “You didn’t want her here, remember? She’s your subordinate, nothing else.”

  “She’s part of our team,” he argued, and the words surprised even him, but it was the truth.

  “You don’t have a right to dig into her private life unless it’s impacting her performance at work. If nothing else, she works harder than anyone in the center.” He pointed at Fox and Caleb. “I’m trusting you on this, Fox, Stitch. You better be guessing right on this one. Kayla has earned my admiration in the short time she’s been here. And you—Ghost—keep in mind that I am as concerned about her as I would be a daughter.” One white brow shot upwards. “You’ve been so goddamn focused on not falling in love with her, you’ve missed the fact that we’re all she has. Don’t fuck that up.”