In Dreams Forgotten

by Tracie Peterson

  Ann turned to Caleb Coulter. “She’s my granddaughter. I think I know best.”

  “You might have known what was best for Cora, but Judith is a different person. She has her own personality and needs. Please try to understand that.” Caleb picked up Judith’s forgotten hat.

  Without another word, he exited the room, leaving Ann aghast. She wasn’t used to people refusing her, especially in matters of family, and she wasn’t about to start now.

  She got up and crossed the room to ring for Ramsay. Now that she knew Judith was her granddaughter, she intended to see her established in her proper place, and no one was going to stop her.

  CHAPTER

  10

  Caleb easily caught up to Judith as she stormed off down the drive. He pulled the car alongside her and stopped.

  “Why don’t you get in, and I’ll drive to the park?”

  She looked at him for a moment as if he’d lost his mind. Then her expression changed, and she nodded. She got into the car without giving Caleb time to help her. She almost sat on Camri’s hat, but he retrieved it in time and handed it to her. Caleb drove to Golden Gate Park and stopped the car near a large stand of trees. For several minutes, he said nothing. He leaned back and pulled off his driving gloves and prayed that God would give him the wisdom to help Judith. He cared about her and knew that she was hurting from the shock of all she’d learned.

  “I don’t understand any of this,” Judith finally murmured. “How could my mother and father have lied to me all my life? How could they seem to be such good people and yet have done such a hideous, heartless thing?”

  “Pain makes people do things they might not otherwise do. From what your grandmother said, your mother was grieving—desperate after the loss of her baby.”

  Judith looked at him. Her blue eyes were wet with tears. “Caleb, I thought I knew my parents. I loved them. I thought they loved me. How could they steal me away from my real parents, my sister?”

  The tears slipped down her cheeks, and her voice broke. “How can I ever believe anyone ever again?” She let go of her purse and buried her face in her gloved hands.

  Caleb put his arm around her. “I’m so sorry, Judith. I know this is hurting you, and I wish there was something I could do to lessen your pain. It was a terrible thing that was done to you and to your family.”

  She leaned into him and began to sob in earnest. Caleb had never felt more moved. He wanted only to comfort her—to make her pain and fears go away. He wanted to promise her that she never had to return to the Whitley mansion unless she wanted to. He wanted to say a lot of things, but for the moment, silence seemed the right choice.

  He wasn’t sure how long they sat there. He was grateful that he’d found a somewhat secluded spot to park, since there were people everywhere. When the sun was shining in San Francisco, you could be sure that its people would be outdoors, enjoying the day.

  Judith finally seemed to calm, but she didn’t pull away from him. Caleb found he didn’t want her to move. He liked the feel of her in his arms and the smell of her rose-scented hair.

  “You know,” he said softly, “you don’t have to go back. I won’t let Mrs. Whitley force you to live there, even if she is your grandmother.”

  “I always wanted a grandmother,” Judith replied, hardly louder than a whisper.

  “I can understand that. I always enjoyed my grandparents, but they weren’t trying to control my life and make me into something I wasn’t. I have a feeling that Mrs. Whitley knows no other way. She is used to having things done as she orders them.”

  Judith straightened. “Oh, Caleb, this is all so hard. I thought coming here I would find an aunt—maybe cousins. I thought I would have a connection to family again.”

  “And so you do, even if it isn’t what you thought it would be.”

  “But I’m so confused. I’m not even the person I thought I was. I’m not Judith Gladstone. I’m Judith Whitley, and I don’t even know who she is.”

  Caleb turned her face to his. “You’re still Judith. The rest will sort itself out in time, but the things that make you who you are, those things are still a part of you. Nothing can change that.”

  “But my life was a lie. My memories, my joys and sorrows—all lies. Everything was built on deception. Everything except for the name Judith. I’m surprised they didn’t change that as well.”

  “Frankly, so am I, but I’m glad they didn’t. I rather like the name.” He smiled at her. “And I rather like the young woman who bears it.”

  Judith didn’t know what to think of Caleb’s comment about liking her. Now probably wasn’t the time to declare her feelings for him, but she knew they were stronger than ever. Just having his arms around her as she cried, being able to put her head on his shoulder . . . her feelings for him were only too apparent. She only hoped she hadn’t made a fool of herself, and that she wouldn’t with the things she was about to say.

  “Caleb, I appreciate what you’ve done for me. I couldn’t have made it through this without you. Besides Camri and Kenzie, you are the only one I trust.” She took a moment to pin her hat back in place.

  “And I don’t take that trust lightly. I’ll help you through this in any way I can. I promise you that.”

  She gave a little nod. “So advise me what to do now.”

  He considered this for a moment, not at all appearing eager to move his arm from around her shoulders. Judith remained close, hoping his nearness might give her strength.

  “Mrs. Whitley will be in contact. She knows where I live, but not that you live there, so for a short time you can remain hidden, if you like. However, we both know she isn’t going to go away.”

  “No, I don’t suppose so.”

  “She also has plenty of money, so she’ll no doubt hire someone to locate you. It would be best to forego working at the candy factory. Unless, of course, you don’t mind her finding you right away.”

  “I can’t see abandoning Mr. Lake. He’s looking to expand his business. He even wants to hire some additional people.” She paused to smile. “Of course, he has to find someone he can trust. Someone who isn’t a spy for Ghirardelli.”

  Caleb smiled. “Of course. However, know that you will be vulnerable coming and going from the factory—perhaps even at the factory. If Mrs. Whitley so desires it, she might even have someone try to force you back to her house.”

  Judith thought of the older woman and had no doubt Caleb was right. “I’ll do whatever you think is right.”

  “We’ll pray about it, Judith. Together. God obviously has a plan even in this. He’s known about your circumstances since before it happened, and I know He will have answers for you. For us.”

  She liked the sound of that. She would like very much for there to be an “us” where Caleb Coulter was concerned.

  “Have I told you how beautiful you are tonight?” Micah asked Kenzie.

  “At least a dozen times.” She allowed him to take her arm as he led her into the hotel ballroom.

  There must have been at least two hundred people in the room. Some were dancing, some talked in groups, and still others were enjoying refreshments from a large spread of culinary delights off to the far side of the room.

  From what Kenzie had seen and heard, the tickets to the event had cost more than she made in a month working for Cousin George at the candy factory. She didn’t know if Micah had been given the tickets or had purchased them to support the charity event, but either way, it made her feel even more obligated to stay the entire evening.

  “You’ve been awfully quiet. I doubt you said more than two words on the drive here,” Micah said.

  Kenzie glanced his way. He was far more handsome than she wanted him to be, resplendent in his formal wear. She found it hard to stop looking at him. “I suppose I don’t have anything to say.”

  His lips curled up ever so slightly at the corners, and Kenzie found herself wondering what it might be like to kiss him.

  This is ridiculous and I need to
stop. I can’t let myself fall in love again. It’s too painful and unproductive.

  “Well, if you don’t wish to talk, then how about a dance?” Micah asked.

  “No. I don’t want to dance either.”

  He cocked his head to one side. “Then what do you want to do? I noticed they have a lovely garden courtyard. We might take a moonlight stroll.”

  “Absolutely not!” She quickly looked back at the dancers.

  Chuckling, Micah leaned closer. “You were awfully brave to come tonight.”

  Kenzie shook her head. “Bravery had nothing to do with this. It’s merely obligation.”

  He was undeterred. “Then in light of obligation, given all I’ve done for you, you at least owe me one dance. A waltz, I think.”

  She considered protesting but knew he’d only keep nagging her until she gave in. Still, she wasn’t going to make this easy on him. He’d tormented her all week by insisting he had to check on her fingers. She’d been made to endure his poking and prodding, not to mention his conversation.

  “I agreed to come with you, but never said I would dance.” She kept her gaze fixed on the waltzing couples on the dance floor. The orchestra was playing a beautiful piece of music that Kenzie thought she’d once heard on an outing with Arthur. It made her a little sad.

  “I believe agreeing to accompany me to a ball is in effect agreeing to dance. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced you owe me several dances.”

  Kenzie knew she’d overplayed her hand. “One dance.”

  “A waltz.”

  She drew a deep breath and turned to face him. “Very well. A waltz. They’re playing one now. Let’s go.”

  He chuckled. “Oh, no. I am going to have a complete dance with you. Not a few steps in a final refrain.”

  “Very well.” She wanted to tell him how unreasonable he was for pressing her for so much more than she wanted to give, but she was afraid she would only encourage him.

  Thankfully, the next dance was a reel, and the one after that was a lively two-step performed to the new ragtime music. Kenzie liked the beat of the modern songs. They were cheery and made her momentarily forget her past. When the music ended, a brief intermission was announced to give the musicians a break. Kenzie breathed a sigh. It was a reprieve and would postpone the inevitable a few minutes longer.

  Micah smiled at her as if reading her mind. “They’ll get around to another waltz, don’t you worry.”

  “I wasn’t worried.” She glanced around. “I’m rather hungry.”

  Without waiting for him to respond, she made her way to the refreshment table. A man in a crisp white coat picked up a small china plate while she contemplated the cornucopia of choices. She had no idea if Micah had followed her, nor did she want to know. She pointed to one of the pastry creations topped with cheese and a dollop of something she didn’t recognize. The server quickly placed one on the plate. She pointed to one of the tiny watercress sandwiches, and he nodded and added it to the plate.

  “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced,” an older man said from beside her.

  Kenzie looked up and shook her head. “No. We haven’t.” She turned back to the table and pointed to one of the chocolate-covered strawberries.

  “I’m Daniel Crosby.”

  She looked at him with what she hoped was an expression of indifference. He didn’t seem to care and beamed a smile at her from behind his waxed mustache.

  “And you are?”

  “Here with me,” Micah said before she could speak.

  Kenzie turned to see the two men exchange a look. Micah’s seemed to dare the other man to challenge his claim, while Mr. Crosby’s expression was smug and self-assured.

  Kenzie turned back to the server who held her plate. “That’s all I care for, thank you.”

  He nodded, put a napkin under the plate, and handed it to her. She moved away from the table to where other people were sampling their food and discussing the topics of the day. She tried not to concern herself with what exchange might be taking place between Micah and Mr. Crosby, but she had to admit she was curious.

  She glanced down at her plate and contemplated whether eating the food there was worth removing her gloves. Before she could decide, Micah was at her side.

  “If I’d known you were hungry, I would have taken you out to dinner first.”

  “No, you wouldn’t have, because I wouldn’t have allowed it.” She gave a little shrug. “Besides, I’m not as hungry as I thought.”

  The musicians began tuning up again. Micah smiled. “They’re leading off with a waltz.”

  Kenzie glanced down at the plate in her hands. “I only just got my food.”

  He took the plate from her. “And you also just told me that you weren’t hungry.” He handed the plate to a serving girl, then turned back to Kenzie and extended his hand. “I believe this is our dance.”

  She let him lead her out onto the dance floor as the orchestra began to play. Without any warning at all, he took a possessive hold of her and swept her into the swirl of other dancers. Kenzie easily fell into the steps. It hadn’t been that long ago that she’d danced with Arthur.

  “You’re very light on your feet,” Micah said.

  “As are you.”

  She didn’t know what else to say for fear she might comment on how his movements were much smoother than those of her former fiancé. She closed her eyes and tried to will herself back in time.

  For just a moment, she imagined that she was in Arthur’s arms. She’d left her letter for him with Mrs. Wong. It wouldn’t be posted until Monday, but now that it was written, Kenzie found herself second-guessing the idea. She had told him everything she’d thought and felt when word came that he wouldn’t be marrying her. She told him of her humiliation and sorrow, as well as the anger and heartbreak.

  “You aren’t dancing with me,” Micah scolded. “That means you owe me another waltz.”

  She opened her eyes. “I most assuredly am dancing with you, and I do not owe you anything more.”

  “Kenzie,” his voice was almost accusing.

  A wave of intense emotion washed over her, but Kenzie did her best to smother it. She didn’t want to break down in front of all these people, but especially not in front of Micah.

  “I’m done dancing.” She tried to pull away, but he held her fast.

  “What have I done to make you so afraid?”

  She began to tremble. It was like he could see into her soul. “I’m not afraid.” She tried to make each word a sentence unto itself.

  “You’re shaking like a leaf. Either you’re afraid, or you’re ill.”

  “Why can’t you leave me alone? I’ve made it clear I’m not interested in anything you have in mind.”

  He continued to gaze into her eyes. “I’ll leave you alone if you answer my question.”

  “What question?” The music built to a crescendo, and for a moment, Kenzie wasn’t sure he’d heard her. She was about to ask again when he spoke.

  “Why are you so afraid to love again?”

  She misstepped, but Micah easily corrected. “I’m not afraid of anything. Furthermore, I can’t—I won’t love again because . . .” She tried to think of some excuse, but nothing came to mind. At one time she might have told him she was still in love with Arthur, but after her talk with Camri, she wasn’t at all sure what she felt.

  “Just leave me be!” She yanked her hand from his and walked from the ballroom as the music came to an end.

  She hurried to reclaim her wrap, then headed out of the hotel and into the night. The sound of footsteps following left her no doubt that Micah was right behind her.

  “Kenzie, please wait.”

  Against her will, she did as he asked. Turning, she could see the concern in his expression. He stepped forward. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Let me drive you home.”

  She acquiesced and waited while the valet brought the car around. All the way home, she sat tense and guarde
d. She knew he would speak again and demand she answer more questions. She felt so miserable that she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t answer anything he asked, just to be rid of him.

  To her surprise however, Micah said nothing until he’d pulled up in front of Caleb’s house and stopped the car. She started to get out, but he caught her hand.

  “I never meant to hurt you, Kenzie. You know that. You must know how I feel about you. However, I’m also worried. I don’t think you’ve allowed yourself to understand the situation for what it is.”

  “What are you talking about?” She couldn’t keep the exasperation from her voice. It was better to react in anger than admit he stirred up feelings in her she’d just as soon forget.

  “When I was just starting out as a doctor, I made rounds with an older physician who worked here in the city. We went to the home of a woman who’d given birth just a few days earlier, in order to check on her and the baby. When we got there, we found that the infant had died. The mother, however, refused to acknowledge it. She sat rocking the dead baby and wouldn’t let us take him from her.”

  “What has that to do with me?” Kenzie forced herself to meet his gaze.

  Micah hadn’t seemed to hear her question. “We tried to explain to her that the child was dead, but she assured us he wasn’t. While my associate tried to reason with her, I found the husband and asked him to call the funeral home, which he did. He was beside himself and had been trying to get her to give him the child for the last eight or more hours. As best he could reckon, the baby had died in the night, and when they got up and found him lifeless, his wife refused to see the truth of the matter.

  “No matter what anyone did, the mother couldn’t give up the idea that the baby was still alive.”

  It began to dawn on Kenzie what Micah was trying to tell her. “Dr. Fisher, you needn’t continue. You think I’m like that mother, but you’re wrong. That mother held on to her child, believing he might still be alive and everyone else wrong. She refused to let him go on the hope that he still lived. As for me, I am neither holding on to my failed love affair, nor do I desire to do so. I do not hope that it still lives, nor am I expecting to resurrect my dead heart. I have neither the hope nor the desire to ever love again. It’s simply too painful.”