In Dreams Forgotten

by Tracie Peterson

  She quickly exited the car before he could stop her and raced up the stairs for the safety of home. Once she was inside with the door between them, Kenzie vowed she would never again allow Micah Fisher to persuade her to accompany him anywhere.

  CHAPTER

  11

  Sunday proved to be as lovely as Saturday. Caleb announced at breakfast that he had something to tend to before church, but that he would come back to drive everyone just prior to the services. Camri had assured him that given the pretty day, she and Patrick wouldn’t mind the walk. Kenzie, who had been in a black mood all morning, said nothing, but Judith conveyed her approval of walking and left it at that. She reasoned that perhaps in trying to soothe Kenzie’s distress, she might be able to forget her own misery for a time.

  On the way to church, she stuck by Kenzie’s side and tried to make small talk, but the redhead would have nothing to do with it. Judith had no idea why Kenzie was so quiet. She knew from Camri asking her about the dance that Kenzie had come home rather early. However, besides that, no one was saying much on the subject, so Judith thought perhaps it was best to avoid the topic.

  Throughout the services, Judith tried to focus on the sermon but found her thoughts going back to Mrs. Whitley—her grandmother. She had shattered Judith’s world completely. She had stripped Judith of her past and all that she knew to be true. It left Judith feeling vulnerable and confused. It also left her with so many questions. Questions that no one could answer. The entire matter had kept her awake for a good part of the night.

  Why had her mother—no, she wasn’t Judith’s mother. Why had Lila taken her? Lied to her? Why had her parents—no, they weren’t her parents. How in the world could she sort it all out? From her earliest memories, she’d known Lila and Homer to be Mother and Father, but now she knew they were her aunt and uncle—not her parents. She pressed her gloved finger to her throbbing temple.

  Lord, I don’t know how to make sense of this.

  The congregation stood to sing the benediction, and Judith rose with them, but her heart had no interest in the song. Caleb had assured her that she didn’t have to make any decisions right away, but he had also been certain her grandmother would start an immediate search for her in order to make her move to the Whitley mansion. Judith didn’t like the idea of being hunted down.

  As the congregation began to leave the little church, Judith was still lost in thought. As much as she wanted to be with Caleb, she knew that walking home would do her more good.

  “I’m going to walk. Would you like to accompany me?” she asked Kenzie.

  “Of course.” Kenzie headed for the door. She gave a curt nod to the pastor and Mrs. Fisher but turned away as Micah approached. Mrs. Fisher frowned and murmured something to her husband.

  Judith didn’t know what had happened, but Kenzie clearly wanted nothing to do with Micah. She smiled at the Fishers, trying to smooth over the discomfort of the moment.

  “I very much appreciated your sermon today, Pastor Fisher. Thank you.”

  He smiled and shook her hand. “You are quite welcome. I find the story of Ruth compelling.”

  Judith nodded. Kenzie looked impatient. “Well then, good day.” She turned and hurried down the church steps with Kenzie at her side.

  “I know you’re unhappy, Kenzie,” Judith said as they made their way home. “I’m not trying to pry, but I want you to know that I care about your feelings. If Micah was out of line last night, I think you should say something to Caleb. After all, they are friends, and since you are under Caleb’s protection, so to speak, he could take the matter in hand.”

  Kenzie shook her head. “He wasn’t out of line. Not really. I’m afraid I’m just out of sorts. I had no desire to go on a social outing, much less a dance. I should have stuck to my initial decision and refused, but I allowed Micah to goad me into it. Now it’s behind me, however, so I just want to forget about it.”

  Judith could understand wanting to put matters behind her. “I won’t say another word about it.”

  “What of your own circumstances?” Kenzie asked. “I heard the discussion at breakfast regarding your family. That must have been a shock.”

  “Yes. It was that and so much more. The entire foundation of my life as I knew it was built on nothing but lies. I can’t begin to figure out how to move forward with this knowledge. My grandmother wants me to live with her now, but I don’t know her. I don’t know anything about my real family.”

  Kenzie slowed her pace a bit and sighed. “It’s going to be difficult to sort it all out. Just remember, however, that you have friends who care about you. Caleb won’t make you leave, of that you can be certain. I think he cares for you.”

  Judith shook her head. “I don’t know what he feels. I’d like to believe he cares. Well, I know he cares, but I mean romantically.”

  They reached the house and made their way inside. Judith’s confusion only increased when Mrs. Wong presented an invitation that had been left for her in care of Caleb. It proved to be an invitation to tea at the Whitley mansion that afternoon.

  “Oh, dear.” She looked at Kenzie and shook her head. “She’s already pursuing me, just as Caleb said she would.”

  Kenzie looked at the card and handed it back to Judith as Camri made her way into the house. She was still smiling after her time spent with Patrick. She took one look at Judith, however, and sobered. “Are you all right?”

  “Mrs. Whitley has requested Judith come for tea at four,” Kenzie replied.

  “I won’t go,” Judith said. “I don’t want to be alone with her . . . not yet. And I know Caleb said he’d be gone a good part of the afternoon.”

  “Yes, he has some previous obligation to Miss Brighton,” Camri said, pulling off her gloves. “I don’t think he wanted to go, but he felt he couldn’t get out of it. After all, he tried to do just that this morning before church, but she wouldn’t receive him.”

  Judith had wondered what Caleb had to do that morning that was so important. She sighed, feeling a sense of both annoyance and jealousy. “I don’t know what to do.”

  Camri put her gloves on the table, then started to unpin her hat. “What if Kenzie and I go with you? Patrick is busy until evening, so I’m free. We could meet Mrs. Whitley and help ease the tension. You two could talk, and then when you felt you’d had enough, we could leave. You wouldn’t have to worry about being alone.”

  Judith looked at Kenzie. “Would you be willing to do that?”

  “Of course,” Kenzie replied. “But don’t feel that you have to go. Mrs. Whitley will just have to live with her disappointment if you choose otherwise.”

  Judith nodded. “If I have the two of you with me, I shan’t be afraid.”

  “I’ll have Mrs. Wong send a note to tell Mrs. Whitley that you’ll be there and that we’ll be accompanying you. If she doesn’t approve and sends word to protest, then you can simply tell her no and be done with it. However, I doubt she will do that.”

  “I don’t think she’d do anything to jeopardize getting to know you better,” Kenzie added.

  “Nor do I.” Judith forced a smile. “Thank you both. I couldn’t do it without you.”

  After a light lunch, Judith went to lie down for a little while. She couldn’t stop thinking about Mrs. Whitley and how imposing she had been. Caleb had told Judith to pay her no mind, but that was easier said than done.

  When it came time to leave, Judith was a nervous wreck. She dressed simply in her plaid suit and made her way downstairs, where the girls awaited her. She bit her lower lip as she pulled on her gloves.

  “Don’t fret so,” Camri chided. “Nothing will happen to you. We won’t allow it. Kenzie and I can be very vocal when we need to be.”

  Judith nodded. “Thank you again for going with me. I wouldn’t have gone otherwise.”

  They walked the many blocks to Nob Hill, conversing about how there were more and more flowers in bloom and how lovely the day was. Judith felt herself growing wary as they approached
the gates to the Whitley estate. Maybe she was making a mistake. Maybe she should just forget about it.

  Looking up at the two-story mansion with all its fancy trim and beautiful design, Judith had a thought. This was the home where she was born. This was where she would have grown up—where her sister Cora did grow up.

  “It’s quite the house,” Camri said, glancing around at the grounds. “And the lawn is pretty. I’d love to explore the gardens.”

  “I was just thinking about how I was supposed to have grown up here. I can’t even imagine what that would have been like. Wait until you see the inside. There are all sorts of paintings and sculptures. Oh, and the furniture is some of the most beautiful pieces you could imagine.” Judith tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Her mouth was much too dry, however. She would actually be grateful for Mrs. Whitley’s tea.

  Ramsay, the butler, opened the door almost before Camri could ring. He nodded to Kenzie and Camri, then actually smiled at Judith.

  “Please come in. Madam is waiting for you in the garden. I’ll show you the way.”

  He led them through the same long, high-ceilinged room that Judith had passed through before, but this time she noticed large double doors on the left side. These opened onto a room that bore the same polished floors and several beautiful carpets done in pale blue, rose, and ivory. She couldn’t imagine how hard it must be to keep something like that clean. Having had to beat more than her share of rag rugs, Judith could only marvel at the spotless beauty of the carpets.

  On the far wall stood open French doors. Ramsay exited here, and the girls followed, passing into an outdoor haven of trees and shrubbery. Potted flowers were strategically placed amidst chairs and benches, and in the middle of the courtyard, a marble table stood festooned with plates of delectable goodies. Behind it, a uniformed young woman stood ready to serve.

  “Enjoy the gardens. Mrs. Whitley will join you soon.”

  Once he was gone, Camri shook her head. “I knew Caleb said the Whitleys were rich, but I had no idea they had this kind of wealth. Did you see the painting at the end of the gallery? I’m sure it was a Degas.”

  “It is impressive,” Kenzie admitted.

  Judith was far too nervous to sit, so she pretended to be interested in the potted flowers. “These are so pretty.” She gently touched one of the delicate blooms.

  Mrs. Whitley stepped into the courtyard. She was dressed regally in a flowing navy gown trimmed with a lacy high neck and long sleeves. Judith pushed down the urge to flee and prayed for the strength to face what was yet to come.

  “Thank you for agreeing to join me.” Ann Whitley walked up to the table, where the trio of young women stood. “I know this has been very hard on you, Judith dear. Now, introduce me to your friends.”

  Judith nodded. “This is Caleb Coulter’s sister, Miss Camrianne Coulter. And this is Miss Kenzie Gifford.”

  Ann could see that her granddaughter was more than a little uncomfortable. “Such unusual names. You shall have to tell me where you came by them. Miss Coulter, Miss Gifford, I am Ann Whitley, Judith’s grandmother.”

  “I’m pleased to meet you, Mrs. Whitley,” Miss Coulter responded. “You have a lovely home.”

  “Thank you.”

  Miss Gifford nodded. “It is indeed lovely, and I too am pleased to make your acquaintance.”

  They were lovely, well-groomed, and properly clad young women. It was evident they had been brought up with some modicum of social awareness.

  “I’ve arranged for tea under the trellis. I believe we will be quite happy there.” Ann glanced at the maid. “You may serve us now.”

  The young woman nodded and immediately went to work while Ann led them to the place she’d had prepared.

  “This is so pretty,” Judith said as they reached the lace-covered table. She admired the large, low arrangement of flowers. “And these are beautiful.” She touched the edges of a pink rose.

  Hothouse flowers had been delivered only that morning—not an easy feat on a Sunday, but quite possible when one was willing to pay for the privilege. Ann took a seat on a cloth-covered chair. “I love roses.”

  They took their places, and within a few minutes, Margery served the tea. She placed two multitiered serving dishes on the table. One held a bevy of small sandwiches and tiny tarts that looked filled with meat. The other was filled with fruits and cheese. After they had each chosen what they wanted, Margery returned and replaced the serving dishes with two identical pieces, these filled with all manner of desserts.

  “I was afraid you might refuse to come,” Ann said to begin the conversation. “I know you were quite upset yesterday.”

  “It’s hard to learn that your entire life has been a lie.” Judith sipped her tea.

  Ann stirred cream into her tea. “It was impossible to find happiness in this house for years after you were taken. I can honestly say that your mother never recovered from losing you, nor did your parents ever give up hope of one day finding you again. You were always meant to be here.”

  “Please tell me about . . . my mother, if you would.”

  It was clear her granddaughter still had no desire to talk about moving into the house. Ann would do whatever she could to convince Judith that it was the right thing to do. However, the matter could wait.

  “She was a charming, warmhearted woman. When I first met her, I wasn’t at all sure that I wanted her for a daughter-in-law, however. She was so quiet and reserved, and I feared she’d be swallowed up in our boisterous and active life. But she adapted well. She particularly loved the gardens and music.”

  “I love music as well,” Judith said.

  “Judith is quite adept at playing piano,” Miss Coulter offered.

  Ann smiled. “Her mother was as well.”

  “I learned from my—Lila.”

  Ann nodded. At least that abominable woman had done one thing right. “Edith played throughout the time she carried you and your sister. No doubt that love of music was passed on to you both. Cora too loved music, but she preferred to sing.”

  Judith looked wistfully into her tea. “It’s so hard to imagine having a sister. I wish I could have known her.”

  “I still have many of her things. Your mother’s as well. They’re yours now.”

  “Oh, no. I couldn’t take them.” Judith shifted in her chair, her cheeks coloring.

  “But of course, you will. When you move in, I will put you in the rooms your parents had. I know you’ll come to love being here—where you were always meant to be. We’ll have a great deal of time to go through all of their things and talk about the past.”

  After a brief moment, Judith said, “You mentioned at our first meeting that my mother had other babies?”

  Again, she avoided the matter of moving in. Ann remained composed, however. Had this been one of her other grandchildren, she wouldn’t have allowed for it, but given this was a delicate matter and Judith was clearly afraid, Ann was determined to be accepting.

  “She did. She gave birth to a boy in 1885, and they called him Clark after my husband. Unfortunately, he contracted measles when he was four and died. There was also another boy called James who was born in 1888. He was eight years old when he fell from his horse and broke his neck. Your mother and father were devastated, as were we all. Poor Cora mourned perhaps more than any of us. She was completely devoted to the boys.”

  Judith bowed her head. “That is so sad.”

  “Has your family always been in San Francisco, Mrs. Whitley?” Miss Coulter asked.

  Ann smiled. Camri Coulter was clearly the least intimidated of the trio. “No. I was born in New York. I met Mr. Whitley there, and we were married there as well. We didn’t come west until his good friend Leland Stanford encouraged him to make the move. I was unhappy to leave New York and all my friends, but once we were established, I found contentment. San Francisco and its society has blossomed over the years.”

  “It is a lovely city. At first I wasn’t at all sure I’d like it
here,” Miss Coulter replied, “but now that I’ve become engaged, I find I like it very much.”

  Ann nodded and turned back to Judith. “Why don’t you tell me where you’ve been all these years? Tell me about your life with Lila and Homer.”

  CHAPTER

  12

  Judith immediately felt a sense of relief when her grandmother dropped the subject of having her move in. She wasn’t sure why this woman was so insistent, but it made her uncomfortable.

  “We, uh, had a small ranch in Colorado. Out in the middle of nowhere.” Judith remembered the isolation of her home. “We rarely went to town, which was some distance from the ranch. I didn’t have playmates or attend a school. My mother—Lila taught me at home. She taught me the piano, as well, but I guess I mentioned that.” She looked at her hands.

  “Did you always live there?”

  Judith looked up to meet her grandmother’s gaze. “For as long as I have memory. We never had much money, and I didn’t learn until my mother . . . died that the place was mortgaged. Papa . . .” Judith shook her head in exasperation. “I don’t know what to call anyone anymore.”

  Camri was first to comment. “They did raise you, so it’s only natural that you would refer to them as your parents.”

  Mrs. Whitley put more cream in her tea. “I’m certain in time you will feel less ill at ease, but I hope you will call me Grandmother.” She smiled, but there was still a fierceness to her expression. “Your cousins and sister did, and it seems only right that you should too.”

  Judith nodded. “I think I can manage that . . . Grandmother.”

  The older woman nodded. “Thank you. Now, please continue. You grew up on a ranch.”

  “Yes. My father was a cattleman, as you already know. He loved working outside and had a small herd of cattle. It provided the money we lived on. Each fall, he sold off what he could, and we bought what we needed for the next year and paid the hired men. Some years were worse than others, and the hired men had to accept room and board and very little pay.