Love's Pardon

by Darlene Mindrup

  Lucius grinned again. “You’ll get used to it.”

  Leah gave him a look that spoke volumes. “I am ready to head back to Jerusalem right now.”

  Lucius returned her look in equal measure. “Don’t worry. Where I live, it is far enough away and upwind of the river most of the time.”

  The wharf where they docked was alive with activity. Lucius told them to stay put while he went to see if the arrangements for a litter to carry them home had been seen to.

  “Can we not just walk?” Leah asked.

  Lucius’s smile was gentle. “No, Mother. It’s much too far.”

  They watched him cross the deck, stopping next to Andronicus. The two men talked together a moment before Lucius strode down the gangplank and Andronicus began yelling orders to the soldiers.

  In a short time Lucius was back.

  “Come with me.”

  Lucius took his mother’s arm while Anna followed close behind. Magog brought up the rear, his curious look searching the crowds around them.

  When they reached the wharf, a litter awaited them with an old man standing next to it. Lucius introduced him as his property manager, Claudius.

  Claudius bowed to them and then drew back the drapes of the litter. Lucius helped his mother into the litter and then turned to Anna.

  “You, too. It’s a double litter.”

  Anna studied the immobile faces of the Greek slave bearers, sweat beading their brows, and hesitated. As though he could guess the thoughts running though her mind, Lucius told her, “Don’t even think about it. Get in.”

  Reluctantly she climbed in after his mother, settling herself on the cushions across from her. Leah reached up and dropped the side curtains, not wanting to provide a spectacle for others to gawk at.

  Lucius climbed on a horse that a servant was holding for him. He glanced around to make certain everyone was ready and nodded. “Let’s go.”

  Periodically as they bumped along, either Leah or Anna would peek out, fascinated by the activity and sights around them.

  At one point Lucius pointed out an elephant being led by a Moorish slave. Both Leah and Anna were fascinated by the huge animal.

  Rome was like nothing Anna had ever experienced. Although Jerusalem was a mixture of peoples, the streets of Rome were crowded with fair-haired Germans who Lucius explained were the Imperial Guard who guarded the emperor, Egyptians with their shorn heads, Oriental princes and even wild men from Britannia.

  When they passed the Roman Forum, they saw the lines of people awaiting the free grain the government handed out. As in Jerusalem, the people were either very rich or very poor; few lived in between. Anna noticed Leah’s look of pity and smiled in commiseration with her.

  When they arrived at Lucius’s villa, Lucius helped Anna from the litter, his eyes holding hers for several seconds before his mother’s cough took his attention.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Just a little thirsty. It was hot in the carrier.”

  He took her hand. “Then let’s get you inside so Claudius can bring us something to slake our thirst.”

  Anna stared at the villa in amazement. This house was even larger than the one they had left in Jerusalem.

  They stopped in the atrium while Lucius made arrangements with the servants to bring in their supplies.

  The entrance room was at least twice the size of the one in Leah’s house, the opening in the roof that let in the sunlight showing off the marble tile floor. Frescoes covered the walls here, unlike the entry at Jerusalem. They gave the impression of entering a large temple, with paintings of statues all along the walls that Anna presumed were Roman gods. It made her skin crawl.

  “Let’s go outside,” Leah suggested, her look intimating that she felt the same. “One of the first things I intend to do if I have to live here is have this room repainted.”

  They moved outside into the peristyle. A large fountain dominated the center of the garden; a beautifully carved statue of a graceful woman dressed in a toga poured water into the pool below her from an upturned urn.

  An upper balcony ran the entire perimeter of the garden with doors leading into upstairs rooms, and below the balcony other doors led to downstairs rooms.

  Green grass surrounded the fountain for quite a distance, ending at a marble walkway that circled the entire garden. Between the columns that supported the balcony, bushes sported their flowering beauty. Several trees lent their shade to areas of seating strategically placed to give the best view of the garden.

  Leah sighed, a look of peace settling across her features. “I think I know where I will spend most of my time.”

  They stood together enjoying the tranquillity and beauty that surrounded them.

  Lucius joined them. “Well, how do you like it?”

  “Have you always lived here?” Anna asked him.

  “Ever since I was forced to leave Jerusalem. It was Father’s house before it became mine.”

  The memories reflected on his face were not pleasant ones. Anna grieved for the boy who was so ruthlessly torn from his home and mother and brought to this place that, despite its beauty, would have been cold without a mother’s love.

  Lucius took his mother’s arm. “Come into the triclinium. I have arranged for our evening meal to be served earlier than usual because I wanted our first meal in this house to be together, and I have to leave shortly.”

  He led the way into the dining room. It, too, was larger than the one in Jerusalem. Lucius’s father must have been an extremely wealthy man to be able to afford two such homes.

  The floor was white marble, the paintings on the wall giving the impression of being outdoors. Unlike the house in Jerusalem, this triclinium had an open door to the outside that allowed the sunlight and air to flow into the room.

  At least twenty serving couches that would hold three people each were scattered about the room. Anna and Leah exchanged glances. Strange how they seemed to be so in tune with each other’s thoughts. Obviously Lucius’s father liked to entertain.

  Lucius had some of the servants move three of the couches closer together. A communal table was placed in their midst.

  Anna seated herself next to Leah’s right and Lucius seated himself to his mother’s left. The couches were arranged in a triangular pattern so that whenever Anna glanced up, she could see Lucius intently watching her. As before, her hands grew clammy and her heart thrummed an irregular tempo that told her she was not as unaffected by him as she had hoped to be. She resigned herself to the fact that it was going to be a very uncomfortable meal.

  The servants brought the food. The amount and variety would have fed a family of five for at least a week. Guilt made Anna’s appetite diminish so that she picked at her food.

  “Is the food not to your liking?” Lucius asked her.

  Since she wasn’t about to tell him the truth, she settled for a half-truth. “I’m just not very hungry.”

  His look was dubious but he refrained from comment. He turned to his mother. “And you?”

  “Everything is delicious but, like Anna, I am not very hungry. I think I am more tired than hungry.”

  Lucius concentrated on his own food for several minutes before focusing on his mother. “There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you.”

  She nodded her head, giving him permission to continue.

  “Why have you never been to Rome? Did Jerusalem mean so much to you that you couldn’t leave it even for a short time and come to see us?”

  The pain Lucius had refused for so many years now swamped him. Whenever he had asked his father why his mother didn’t come to them, his father had always told him to stop whining and act like a man. So why was he asking this now? What good could come of knowing why his mother had abandoned him to his father’s less-than-tender merci
es?

  His mother’s face turned white and she looked away. She suddenly looked much older than her years.

  “Lucius, it would be better not to speak ill of the dead.”

  Confused, he asked, “Why would telling me this be speaking ill of the dead?”

  She got to her feet and Anna rose quickly to stand beside her, obviously noting the color that had leached from his mother’s face.

  “The past is better left in the past,” Leah told him firmly. “We are together now.”

  Lucius got to his feet, as well. “All those wasted years, Mother. We could have been there for each other just as we were when I was a child.”

  She shook her head. “No, we couldn’t.”

  “Why?” His voice truly sounded like the whine his father had accused him of, but he didn’t care. He had to know.

  “Leave it, Lucius,” she demanded, the tears in her eyes telling him there was more to the story than he knew. She started to walk away but he grabbed her arm to keep her in place.

  “Tell me!”

  At her slight sob, Lucius almost relented but it was something that had eaten away at him all his life. He had to know.

  “All right, I’ll tell you!” She rounded on him. “He didn’t want me anymore!”

  The tears were running down her cheeks in a silent river now. It took him several seconds before he fully comprehended what she was trying not to say.

  “He was ashamed of you,” he almost growled. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

  He suddenly remembered conversations between his father and his Jew-hating friends. Romans considered them atheists because they refused to accept other gods. That and the fact that they were so antisocial. The Greeks had a term for it. Misanthropia. Hater of mankind.

  Anna placed an arm around his mother’s shoulders, her look pleading with him to stop. He ignored her, his emotions raging out of control.

  “It was all right to have a Jewish wife when he was in Jerusalem, but not in Rome,” he concluded. “After all you gave up, he did that to you?”

  His own pain became as nothing in the face of such news. He wished now that he had remained silent. If his father hadn’t been dead already, Lucius would have found him and slain him on the spot. His ever-present anger was about to boil over and he needed to leave before he said or did something he might regret.

  He pushed past them and quickly headed for the door. “I have to leave. I will be back later.” He stopped at the door and glanced back. “Claudius will see to any needs you have.”

  He slammed the door behind him, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. He knew of only one way to release the amount of anger coursing through him. He headed for Mars Field to work out with the legionnaires.

  Chapter 12

  Anna entered the villa and laid a basket containing fruit on the table near the door. It was the beginning of autumn and the temperatures were still higher than normal. She dropped her shawl next to the fruit, relieved to be free of the stifling garment.

  Leah came from the peristyle, her smile warm despite the paleness of her complexion. Lately she had been having more trouble breathing and Anna was worried that something might happen to her before Lucius could return.

  He had been sent away shortly after their arrival to some far-flung outpost in the empire, but they knew not where and Anna had no way to get word to him. She had hoped that his leaving would give her the opportunity to bring her fluctuating emotions under control, but it had the opposite effect. She missed him so much it was like a physical ache.

  Leah looked over the basket of fruit, frowning at the selection. “This was all you could find?”

  Anna nodded, and they both took a seat next to the collecting pool below the roof opening of the atrium. Anna dipped her hand in the pool, patting her throat and face with the cool water.

  “The selection has lessened due to the hot weather. They are expecting a new shipment next week.”

  “Well, we will just have to make do.”

  Anna noticed the painters working on the far wall. Leah had made good her threat and, with Lucius’s permission, was making changes to the villa. Already the place reflected her love of nature. The idol frescoes had been painted over and replaced with a crisscross trellis that extended the entire length of the west wall. Flowering vines appeared to be weaving in and out of the slats. It amazed Anna how realistic the pictures were. Truly the fresco painters were imbued with a talent beyond the ordinary.

  The other three walls had been painted to look like the rolling green hills of Rome. She no longer felt like an alien amid a pagan society when she was in this room but, instead, was reminded of Elohim’s wonderful creation.

  “Will the painters be finished before the Lord’s Day?” Anna asked.

  “I have been assured that they will.”

  Anna smiled at Claudius when he brought in a tray with glasses of fruit juice. The mixture of pomegranate and grape was one of her favorites.

  “Thank you, Claudius.”

  He bowed his head and retreated from the room.

  Leah turned to her, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “I am thrilled to be hosting the Lord’s Day fellowship.”

  Anna could well understand why. Shortly after arriving in Rome, Leah had made inquiries about the Christian community here. It had surprised and thrilled her to find that Claudius was a believer, and he had led her to a group of believers who were mostly Gentiles but who had welcomed them with open arms. After years of isolation and abuse, Leah had found a new reason to live.

  It hadn’t taken her long before she was involved with helping the poor here in Rome, which was one of the reasons for having the Lord’s Day worship here. It was an opportunity to share what Elohim had blessed her with. It was also one of the reasons for eliminating as quickly as possible the frescoes of the Roman gods.

  Claudius returned. “My lady, Tertius would like a word with you about the benevolence baskets.”

  Leah rose to her feet. “I’ll be right there.” She smiled at Anna. “Why don’t you go into the peristyle? It’s too lovely a day to stay inside.”

  “I agree. I think I will do that.”

  The garden was Anna’s favorite place. Even in the extreme heat, the trees, fountain and bushes made it a cool retreat. It was also a good place to sit and think. Her problem was that her imaginings invariably turned to a handsome Roman with a grudge against her Lord, and she was having difficulty mastering such thoughts. What he needed was a love he was unwilling to accept.

  Perhaps a little more prayer time would help.

  Lucius stood before the young Emperor Nero and felt the dissatisfaction of a wasted life. How many years had he served men who felt themselves to be gods, only to have them die, sometimes in mysterious ways, and another one take their place?

  Nero could have probably been considered handsome by many, but his life of dissipation was beginning to show already at the age of twenty-two. His petulant mouth was turned down as he conferred with his advisers.

  Nero finally turned to him. “Tribune Lucius, come forth.”

  Lucius saluted him with a fist against his chest and then handed him the sealed scroll in his hand.

  “You say this is from General Galba?”

  “Aye, Majesty.”

  Lucius didn’t miss the look of irritation that crossed the emperor’s face. “Very well. I will read this in private. Have you any other news?”

  “No, Majesty, but I have a request.”

  Surprised, Nero studied Lucius a moment before nodding his head for him to continue.

  “I would like to be relieved of duty.”

  Nero’s brows lifted upward. “You are one of my most loyal soldiers and one of Rome’s most trusted commanders. Why would you ask this now at such a critical time?” />
  “Majesty, my mother is dying.”

  Nero glanced at his own mother, Agrippina, who was standing across the room. The look he gave her made Lucius’s blood run cold.

  “Lucky you,” he murmured under his breath, and Lucius felt his skin crawl at the threat he saw in the emperor’s eyes. Lucius wouldn’t give a silver denarius for the chances of the so-called Augusta. As for himself, he was tired of court intrigue, plots and assassinations. Rome was dying and the stench had reached far out into the empire, bringing the vultures home to roost. There was an essence about the city that was hard to define, a seemingly smoldering evil just waiting to burst into a conflagration.

  Lucius tried again. “I have no heirs, Majesty, and a considerable estate to manage.”

  Nero hesitated. “I hate to let you go.”

  Lately, Lucius had felt a compulsion to be near his mother, some sense that things weren’t right. He didn’t know if it was because of her failing health, or because she had claimed this Christian religion and enemies against it were stirring throughout the city. Whatever it was, he didn’t want to have to leave her again. He offered up a prayer to his mother’s God. If You are there, I need You now. Please. I need to be with my mother. I need to make up for the years I spent resenting her. I know I have no right to ask this of You but, for her sake, I’m begging.

  “Is there someone you would like to recommend to take your place?”

  Lucius wasn’t certain whether suggesting someone to his position would be a good thing or a bad.

  “I would recommend Centurion Andronicus Lepidus.”

  Nodding, Nero smiled. “Yes, Andronicus would be a good choice. Very well. You are relieved.”

  “Thank you, sire.”

  “And Lucius?”

  “Yes, Majesty?”

  “Your father had a lot of influence in the empire. I expect the same from you. I would like to see you represent me in the senate.”

  Lucius hesitated but a second. Having access to the senate would help him keep his finger on the pulse of Rome, which in turn would help him to know best how to protect his mother and Anna. It was the first time he had allowed himself to think of Anna in correlation with his mother. The two had become firmly fixed in his mind as his family, and he would do anything to protect them.