The Good Luck Charm

by Helena Hunting

Despite assuring everyone I’m physically fine, a thorough assessment is done before I’m given the all clear. The whole thing takes an hour.

  “I’d like you to call your sister and have her pick you up,” Dr. Lovely says when he’s finally satisfied I don’t have a concussion, just a bump on the back of my head.

  For a moment I’m confused, and he must read it on my face, because he adds, “Carmen. Is she available to take you home?”

  “I’m fine. I don’t have a concussion, and I have three hours left in my shift.”

  He crosses his arms over his chest. “You’re not finishing your shift with a head injury, Delilah.”

  “Stop calling me Delilah, and I fainted—it’s not a head injury.”

  “You fainted and hit your head on a cement floor. That’s a minor head injury, and while you may not have a concussion, I’d prefer not to take any chances with you, or with any of my other patients. You also have the next two days off.”

  “For a bruise?”

  “I think your headspace might not be the best right now.”

  When I begin to argue, he gives me a look. “Lilah, that man out there said he was your father, and he hasn’t seen you since you were six. You’ve been treating your half sister for weeks because of a shattered ankle. Now, I’m just guessing here, but I think you may need a couple of days to get your head around that.”

  “I thought you were a physician, not a psychiatrist.”

  His cheek tics with a suppressed grin. “Call Carmen, please.”

  I slide my phone out of my pocket with an irritated sigh. “You know, you might think you have a great bedside manner, but really it’s just your face that allows you to get away with ordering people around like this.”

  He smiles. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  Carmen answers on the third ring. “Are you busy?” I ask.

  She snorts. “That’s your greeting?”

  “Hi, Carmen. How’s your day going? Are you busy?”

  “Tell your sister hello for me,” Dr. Lovely says as he removes his gloves and tosses them in the trash.

  I give him my WTF face but do as he says. Otherwise I’m sure he’ll take the phone out of my hand because that’s the kind of mood he seems to be in. “Dr. Lovely says hello.”

  “Noah Lovely?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh, uh, I guess tell him I said hello back? Why’re you calling me?”

  I address Dr. Lovely. “She says hi back. This feels very eighth grade, by the way.”

  All he does is grin. What the hell? I shake my head, which is starting to ache, and return to my conversation with my sister. “I fainted and hit my head and Dr. Lovely would like you to pick me up because he feels I’m unfit to drive.”

  “Are you okay? Why did you faint? Is something wrong? Did something happen? Is Martin okay? What about Ethan?” Her voice continues to rise as she peppers me with questions.

  “I need you to calm down, or I’ll have to call someone else for a ride. I’m fine and so are Martin and Ethan, as far as I know. I’ll explain everything when you get here, if you’re available to pick me up, that is.”

  “I can be there in half an hour. Is that okay?”

  “Half an hour is perfect. I’m sure there’s some workplace accident report I need to fill out in the meantime.”

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  I end the call and sigh. As if I need any more complications in my life. The Ethan situation is more than enough all on its own. Now I find out I might have another sister. Not might, I do have another sister. And I like her. Except right now I feel nothing but jealousy. My father left us all to start a new family. From Emery’s accounts, he’s a fantastic dad and completely head over heels in love with her mother.

  I rub my temples and hop down off the hospital bed. “I need some air.”

  “I’ll walk you out, then.”

  I’m too exhausted to argue that I’m fine and don’t need a babysitter. I could use a nap more than anything else, but fresh air will have to do. We stop at the hospital cafeteria for a coffee before he escorts me to the front entrance. I guess he’s serious about walking me out of the building.

  As I’m approaching the doors, I hear my name. I freeze, then turn as my father pushes up out of a chair and smooths his hands down his thighs. He looks nervous and uncomfortable. I should hope so.

  He takes a few halting steps toward me, stopping about four feet away. “Are you okay?” He turns to Dr. Lovely. “Is Delilah okay?”

  “She’s cleared to leave but not to drive.”

  “I could give you a ride home. We could talk.”

  I bark out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re about twenty years too late for father-daughter bonding, Darryl. Besides, Carmen is coming to get me.”

  “Carmen still lives here?”

  I hate that this is a question he legitimately doesn’t have an answer to. “Where’s Emery?”

  “I sent her home with her mother. She’s very…confused.”

  “Well, that makes two of us.”

  “It would be good if we could talk, somewhere private. Emery isn’t at fault for any of this.” He gestures between us.

  I realize Dr. Lovely is still standing beside me, bearing witness to this family drama. I turn to him. “It’s fine. I’m fine. You have real patients with real emergencies.”

  “I have a private lounge you can use if you’d like to have a conversation,” he says, not to me, but to my father.

  “That would be great,” my father replies.

  Again, I don’t argue. I’m too shell-shocked, so I follow along dumbly to the lounge, usually reserved for families of patients in critical surgery.

  “I’ll check on you in a bit,” Dr. Lovely says before he closes the door.

  “You look so much like your mother,” my father says once we’re alone.

  I give him a disbelieving look. “Really? That’s your lead-in? That I look like the woman you abandoned along with your six kids, so you could what? Have a do-over? Start a new family that was less inconvenient than the one you had? It’s been twenty years. Where the hell were you when I was growing up?”

  He blows out a breath and drops his head, hands clasped in front of him. “It was complicated, Delilah.”

  “That’s a cop-out. Why did you bother to wait for me if you’re just going to tiptoe around answers? Or is it because of Emery? Jesus. Did she even know you had a whole separate family?”

  “She knew I had children from another marriage.”

  “Does she know you haven’t seen any of us in the last twenty years since you abandoned us?”

  He lifts his hands, contrite. “I understand why you’re angry.”

  “Do you? Do you really understand? I don’t think you do. One day you were part of my life and then you disappeared.” I snap my fingers. “And I always wondered, why weren’t we good enough? What did we do that was so bad that you erased your existence from our lives?”

  “I tried to contact you.”

  “Bullshit,” I spit.

  “I know this is a shock, Delilah, but please, let me at least explain my side. I’m sure you have your mother’s, but you’re missing mine. I never wanted it to be this way. I didn’t want to lose contact with my kids. It was devastating. Things with your mother and me were never easy. We were married before we were even out of high school. We were kids with ideas of what life would be like, and she wasn’t even eighteen when your oldest brother was born.

  “We struggled so much, our parents weren’t much help, and it was…day-to-day for such a long time. Just when it felt like things were starting to balance out, your mother got pregnant again. Babies became Band-Aids for us. Every time something went wrong, or we’d have a disagreement, we decided another baby was the answer. I loved her and I wanted her to be happy, and babies made her happy.”

  “Did they make you happy? Was that what you wanted?”

  “I wanted a family, and I loved all of you. After you
I thought maybe it was time to stop. We pretty much had our own hockey team.” He laughs a little at that but quickly sobers when I don’t join in. “Six was a lot of mouths to feed on one salary. I was working two jobs and trying to finish college so I could be a better provider. When I scheduled a vasectomy, your mother was upset.”

  “So you left?”

  “No. Of course not. But that’s when things started to unravel. I don’t want to demonize your mother. I don’t think that’s helpful, and I’m not sure exactly what she told you, but she was the one who kicked me out. I applied for custody but was denied because I had left the home. Things worked differently back then. She made it impossible for me to see any of you, and she stonewalled any of my attempts to contact you and your brothers and sister. I should’ve tried harder—I know that. But I met Renee and she was just”—he sighs—“I had a chance to start over, so I took it.”

  “Does she know about all of us?”

  He nods and looks at his hands. “She does. She suggested I reach out, and I tried, many times, but by then your brothers had moved out, and your mother threatened a restraining order if I tried to see you and Carmen. I didn’t want to make your lives more difficult, so I stayed away.”

  “Do you have any idea how horrible it was to grow up thinking I was unwanted and unloved by one of the two people who were supposed to love me unconditionally?”

  “I can imagine—”

  I cut him off. “No you can’t. Not even a little bit. You can’t imagine what it was like growing up in a house so full of chaos that I was forgotten about most of the time.”

  He stiffens, and his fingers curl around the arms of his chair. He seems legitimately shocked and saddened by this revelation. “I’m very sorry, Delilah.”

  “I’m not sure I can accept your apology. That damage was done a long time ago. It’s rooted in who I am, and it’s impacted all of my relationships. I don’t know how to forgive that.” As I watch my words sink in, causing fresh pain I share, I realize the truth in what I’ve just said. For the first time I see with real clarity why Ethan’s leaving was so devastating, and why I’ve been so tentative and reluctant to fully embrace this second chance with him—because I’m convinced that no matter what, I’ll lose him again. Deep down I fear his love for me has an expiration date attached to it, like I believed my father’s did.

  “I know I may never be able to earn your forgiveness, but don’t take this out on Emery. She’ll be crushed if you don’t want a relationship with her.”

  “How much of your version of the truth does she know?”

  “I tried to do better the second time around.”

  “Well, she loves you and thinks the world of you, so I guess your second family won out, didn’t it?” I blow out a breath, trying to manage the overwhelming anger and shock. “I’d like a relationship with Emery. She’s a good person, and I’d like to know her better.”

  “She’ll be happy to hear that.” His smile is eclipsed by his pain, but I won’t own that because I’m not the reason for it in the first place.

  My phone buzzes, and I check the message. “I need to go.”

  He stands along with me. “Is Carmen here? I’d like to see her.”

  I hold up a hand. “I don’t think that’s the best idea right now. It would be better if we arranged something after I’ve had a chance to talk to her. She doesn’t deserve to be blindsided like I was.”

  “Right. Yes. Of course. Should I give you my contact information? We’re staying in Minneapolis for a few days and I’m happy to extend our visit if she needs time to consider it. I hope I’ll have the chance to speak with her.”

  “I’ll talk to her and she can decide if that’s something she wants.”

  He recites his number, and I add it to my contacts. This whole thing is like an out-of-body experience.

  “Delilah.”

  I open the door and look over my shoulder. If he tells me he loves me, I may lose it on him. I’ve been pretty reasonable up until this point. I need to get away from him so I can think, process, wrap my head around this.

  He stuffs his hands into his pockets. “I wish I’d made different choices.”

  “Me, too.”

  On my way to the front entrance, I run into Dr. Lovely again. “I was coming to check on you.”

  “Wanted to make sure you didn’t have another head trauma on your hands?”

  He falls into step beside me. “Something like that. How is your head?”

  “Other than sore and full of more crap than I’d care to deal with in the next lifetime, fine. Carmen’s waiting for me in the parking lot, so now I get to tell her we have a half sister we didn’t know about, and our father is in town.”

  The automatic doors slide open and we step outside into the crisp afternoon. “How do you think she’ll react?”

  “I have no idea. Hopefully she doesn’t faint like I did, or else no one will be able to drive. What’re you doing?” He’s still walking with me. It’s starting to feel a little weird.

  “Making sure you get safely to your sister.”

  I can’t decide if it’s his medical duty making him so ultra attentive, or if I’m just hypersensitive to it. Carmen’s car is parked at the emergency entrance in the no-parking zone. “She’s right there—I’m good. You can go back to doctoring now.”

  He ignores me and strides over to her car, opening the door and ushering me inside. He takes it upon himself to roll my window down from the inside, which is also strange. I buckle myself in while he closes the door and bends down so he can see into the car.

  “Hello, Carmen.” He smiles placidly at my sister.

  “Noah.”

  “Thank you for coming to pick up Lilah. She’s had a bit of a rough afternoon. If there’s any nausea or vomiting, or if the headache gets worse, please call my pager.” He extends his arm through the window, bypassing me to hand his card to my sister.

  “Do you have a concussion?” Her eyes are wide, her gaze moving to Dr. Lovely. “Does she have a concussion?”

  “It doesn’t appear that way. However, I would prefer not to take any chances with my staff.”

  “Right. Okay.”

  “Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have concerns or questions.” She tries to take the card, but he holds on to it, eyes shifting to me. “I’d like an update on how you’re feeling tomorrow, Lilah.”

  I give him an army salute. “Sir, yes, sir.”

  “Get some rest, please.” He lets go of the card. “Drive safely.” Then he removes his head from the window and disappears back inside the hospital.

  “Jeez, he’s intense,” I mutter.

  “Sure is.” Carmen pulls away from the entrance. “What happened?”

  “I think it would be best for me to tell you when we get to my place.”

  “This sounds bad.”

  “It’s…complicated.”

  “Does it have to do with Ethan?”

  “No, it has nothing to do with Ethan.” Not directly, anyway. But it may impact how things unfold with him from here on out.

  “Can I at least get a hint or something? This is seriously stressing me out, Lilah.”

  I drop my head against the headrest and suck in a breath at the pain, quickly leaning forward again. I run my fingers over the lump at the back of my head. It’s practically a goose egg. “Trust me—it’ll be better if we’re not in a moving vehicle when I tell you.”

  She sighs but lets it go, for now.

  “How do you know Dr. Lovely, anyway?” I ask as she heads toward my house.

  “We went to high school together.”

  “He’s a few years older than you, though, isn’t he?”

  “I was a freshman when he was a junior.” She taps the steering wheel.

  “Did you have a crush on him or something?”

  Carmen rolls her eyes. “Have you seen that man? He just gets better looking all the time. It’s totally unfair. Every girl in the entire school had a crush on him. It w
as ridiculous. Anyway, he tutored me in science when he was a senior.” Her face is a little red.

  “Want to tell me more about that?”

  “There’s nothing to tell. He tutored me and I didn’t fail my science class. All was right with the world.”

  I don’t buy it, but then who knows with Carmen? Maybe it was that simple and I’m just reading into things. I close my eyes and try to focus on something other than the throb in my head. A few minutes later Carmen pulls into my driveway and cuts the engine. “You need to spill it, right after you make me a margarita.”

  Once we’re in the house, I fix her a drink and stick with water for myself, because alcohol and head injuries aren’t a good mix. I take a seat on the couch beside my sister. “You remember that girl I told you about, the one who shattered her ankle?”

  Carmen shrugs. “Sure.”

  I can’t tell if she actually remembers or she’s just saying she does—not that it matters. I have to come out and tell her—no sugarcoating. “She’s our half sister.”

  She’s quiet for a few very long seconds before she reaches for her purse. “I’m sorry…How hard did you hit your head?”

  “I’m serious, Carm. She’s our half sister.”

  “Okay. And how do you know this?”

  “Because our father picked her up at the hospital this afternoon.”

  She blinks several times but doesn’t say anything.

  “Carm?”

  “You were right not to tell me while I was driving.”

  “Can I get you a glass of water?”

  “A bottle of tequila might be better.” She exhales a slow breath. “I can’t…This is…I don’t even…” She shakes her head and rubs her temples. “Did you talk to him?”

  “I did.”

  “What was he like? Is he still in town?” She looks utterly stunned, much like I was when I first saw him.

  “He looked like a much-older version of the dad we knew, I guess. And yes, he’s still in town and he’d like to see you, but I wanted to be the one to tell you. I didn’t think it would be good to surprise you the way I was—one head-injured Smith at a time and all.”

  She laughs a little but then grows serious. “What did he even say? Do you think I should see him? God, it’s been twenty years. This is so—”