His Brand of Love

by Angelique Voisen

  “Very good, sub. Now pick.” Nick’s voice stirred me back to the present.

  His hand dipped and settled on the nape of my neck. I marveled at how natural it felt, when he gripped my throat or the back of my neck, thumb tracing circles around the pulse point. Instead of being alarmed, I relaxed against him. Nick might possess big hands, capable of strangling another human being to death, but he’d die first before allowing harm to come to me.

  Five items lay on the bed, each implement carefully chosen and well-maintained—one high-intensity flogger with braided lashes, one low-intensity one with flat flashes, a strap, a paddle, and my least and secret favorite, the long and thin bamboo cane.

  “Go ahead, take your time, sub, touch them if you want.”

  With his permission, I ran my fingertips over the leather braids of the flogger, shivering when I thought of those braids, teasing skin before Nick applied pressure. I touched the wooden handle of the paddle, the rivets at the flat head and thinking of how they’d leave fine marks on my body—Nick’s marks. Lastly, I touched the cane with a shiver.

  I dared look up at Nick, expecting impatience. Noah would get mad whenever I took too long, but Nick didn’t look the least bit bothered. He met my gaze evenly, and I found the courage in me to answer. “I can’t choose.”

  Before Nick misunderstood my answer and stopped the play before it even began, I answered, “I want … to feel them all, the taste of wood and leather, with your hand holding each one steady, Sir.”

  A rumble came out of Nick, amused and bewildered. “Greedy, sub.”

  “You said I had one night, Sir. I’m taking advantage of it.”

  Nick laid out the implements on the dresser. My heart raced against my ribcage. “All then, I hope you aren’t all talk, little subbie. Lie on the edge of the bed, on your stomach, hands out.”

  With Nick’s assistance, I was in position. Hearing him open his bag of toys, I turned my head to see him pull out leather cuffs and a spreader bar. Sweat beaded my back, and I was glad he wanted me this way, my back, ass, and thighs open to his access.

  This way, he couldn’t see my erection digging against the bed, but God, was I hard. I swore I’d hold myself back this time though. I offered my wrists upwards. Nick rubbed at my hands and buckled the cuffs on, double-checking my circulation. I noticed he’d looped a leash through the D-rings on the cuffs. He looped the leash over the headboard, stretching my body taut, the position designed for discomfort.

  Nick gave me an unexpected kiss on the forehead, before moving to secure the spreader bar on my ankles. When Nick didn’t move or say a word instantly, I swallowed and asked, “Is there something wrong, Sir?”

  When Nick ran his hand down the length of my spine, I let out a moan, sounding like a cat in heat. The infuriating man ran a finger down the curve of my ass and pressed a thumb right over my puckered entrance. God. I nearly exploded there and then. The way my body reacted to Nick, like it acknowledged Nick had been its master, still mystified me.

  “Floggers first, then we’ll move on to the strap, then paddle, and I’m saving your favorite for the last.”

  I muttered a muffled curse under my breath. Of course Nick would notice I stared at that dreadful instrument the longest. Nick rubbed at my ass cheeks, before padding to the dresser to pick up both floggers. He left one on the center of my back, and I bit my lip, understanding his game.

  “If you drop this and move too much that will earn you extra lashes for a disobedient sub.”

  Nick leaned in close to my ear then, and I groaned when the fabric of his clothes brushed against my skin. It turned me incredibly on when he kept his clothing on while I remained bound and naked for his pleasure.

  “And, Julian? Don’t think I’m playing around. Unless you say stop, and I doubt you will, I will cover your ass and thighs in stripes. You won’t be able to sleep properly for a week. And if you misbehave, I won’t fuck you after I beat you.”

  I shivered at the threat. So tempting to see if Nick would be true to his word, but I wanted his dick wearing my ass out by the end of the evening, to feel him buried, hilt deep in me while I begged him to ride me harder, faster, and eventually he’d help me forget about all my nightmares.

  “I’ll behave, Sir.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.” Nick stood again.

  I jumped, hearing the slap of leather tails on flesh, Nick’s, not mine yet. He let me feel the texture of the braids, the tails caressing my ass and flank. I dreaded this moment of not knowing when the strike would come. Nick targeted my ass cheeks, blows soft at first, but they built slowly, leaving an ache in me I knew wouldn’t be satiated for a long time, but I’d take this for Nick, for myself. After warming me up, Nick switched floggers. He never hit me in the same place twice.

  “How are we doing, sub?” Nick asked, touching the raised marks on my skin.

  “Green, Sir.”

  Strap and paddle came next. The thin strip whistled through the air, and the moment it hit flesh, a loud groan tore out from me. Each blow made my body jump, my heart race. After this I’d race to the bathroom, lock it shut and take my time examining the wonderful welts Nick left behind. Nick seemed to know what he was doing. Noah struggled sometimes with his control, but Nick never faltered once. Noah … I hadn’t thought of him once.

  Only Nick’s firm voice, his hand on my burning skin and holding the instrument with care mattered.

  “You can take more for me, sub,” Nick said, the sound of his voice comforting.

  “Yes, Sir,” I whispered.

  He finished with a set of ten with the strap. With every new mark painted on my skin, my cock thickened, close to bursting, but I didn’t dare come now. Nick ran his hand over my sore ass and thighs. He didn’t spare my balls either. Nick reached for my dick, an unexpected move, and gave it a squeeze.

  Holy fuck. I gritted my teeth and thought of other things that would lessen my arousal, but nothing worked.

  “Ready to give up, sub?”

  “I can take more for you, Sir,” I quipped, wondering I got all that bravado.

  Nick did a quick check of my wrists before resuming. The cane next and Nick let me feel that, too. He ran the tip over my skin, burning fever hot, but able to take so much more and teased my hole with it. Cruel bastard.

  “Ready, sub?”

  “For you, Sir? Always.”

  That got another sexy laugh from Nick, and I could picture the rough edges of his face becoming less guarded, handsome. It was a side of Nick I liked to think he only reserved for me.

  Agony sang through my entire body when the cane fell. I begged, squirmed, and cried, imagining the perfect red lines Nick painted on my ass, each one an inch apart. Never once would I take my way out, but it was comforting, knowing I could say my safeword any time. Nick wouldn’t steal my voice or ability to make decisions the way Noah did. I could take this for Nick, for myself.

  I got drunk on endorphins, and the pain ebbed away. Nick said he could only show his love through pain. In those brief, stolen moments, pain connected our tattered souls. I felt closer to him than to any other human being on earth.

  Sighing, I buried my head against the sheets after Nick finished with the fifth strike.

  “Good boy.”

  He touched the welts with the tips of his fingertips, like an artist examining his canvas. I shivered, still unused to the praise Nick easily gave.

  Nick walked to the side of the bed. Knowing my gaze remained locked with his, Nick laid the implements in a straight row on the chest of drawers beside the bed. He took out something from his bag of toys. Seeing the condom and lube, I groaned, aware of my hard-on and Nick’s, hard and curving upwards in need.

  “Do you want my cock in you, boy?”

  “Please, Sir. Fuck me. I want you inside me.”

  After sheathing his dick with a condom, Nick took position behind me again. After drizzling lube inside my opening, he slid a finger inside my waiting hole. An animalistic and needy moan tore
out of me. I sounded like a cat in heat, but I didn’t care. Nick curled his digit, reaching for the knot of muscles. Whimpering, I gripped the leather cuffs. He put a second and third in, readying me for his access.

  Bound and unable to move a muscle, freshly welted and about to be fucked—never before did I feel so alive or at home. The daylight me who went to classes and who went out with vanilla friends—I felt like I’d been wearing a mask and playing pretend. The real me who wanted to play in the dark, came out at night.

  God. I missed this so much.

  Gripping the flesh of my hips, hard enough to bruise, Nick pushed into me, not pausing. I gasped. Fuck, he was huge. Craving to feel the burn of his entry, I willed my inner muscles to clamp around his dick.

  “Fuck, Julian. You’re so tight.”

  Best compliment of the year.

  Once fully seated inside me, Nick didn’t move. I squirmed when he ran his hands possessively on his marks again. Shuddering, I became aware of Nick’s steel-hard dick in me, stretching me. Cool air caressed my still-sensitive skin. Pain and pleasure turned into an unrecognizable mess. I wouldn’t last long.

  “Sir, please.”

  Eliminating my ability to think, Nick began to move. Slow strokes at first, Nick picked up speed.

  “Faster, Sir. Please.” I remembered to add the last word.

  That got a rumbling laugh from Nick. He hammered into me, faster, deeper, reaching places no one breached before. The force of his thrusts made the mattress underneath me vibrate. Nick reduced us both to pants.

  He must have shifted his hips, because with his next entry, he hit my sweet spot. Gasping, needing something to hold on to, I dug my fingers into the leather. Nick reached for my cock, beginning to glide his fist up and down, timing it with his strokes.

  “Give it to me, Julian.”

  As soon as Nick gave the permission, the pressure building in me burst. Seeing stars, I exploded, cum spilling over Nick’s hand and the sheets. Pushing into me one more time, Nick climaxed with a growl.

  Silence filled the room. Nick disposed of the condom and pulled out some wet wipes to clean us both up. His soft footsteps echoed in the background, his presence comforting. I felt his hand smoothing back the sweat-soaked hair that fell across my face. Leaning close, he gave me a kiss on the forehead, another on the bridge of the nose. Lastly, one on the lips, as if the gentleness had been a way of saying thanks.

  Through a haze of bliss and half-opened lids, I craned my head, watching him undo the cuffs on my wrists. The spreader bar locked to my ankles came off next.

  “Stay there, I’m getting ointment for the welts,” he ordered.

  “Not going anywhere.”

  Nick paused by the doorway.

  “Something wrong?” I asked, sounding lazy to my ears.

  “Nothing.”

  Or everything, Nick didn’t need to add. Inevitably things between us would change. No strings attached sounded like a nice lie though. I shut my eyes, wondering how Nick would treat me when morning came. Like his usual? I had never been good at pretending, not after tonight.

  Cool fingers touched my burning skin a second later. My body tensed, a reflex reaction, but I knew those calluses. When did Nick return?

  “Relax.” Nick worked the cool gel into my wounds.

  He set them down after, and joined me in bed, patting his lap. Grinning, I dragged my body up and straddled him. Resting his hand on the back of my head, he pressed my face gently against his broad shoulder. I locked my arms around his neck, breathing in his scent. He smelled slightly of sweat, sex, the soap he used, and distinctively of Nick.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “For what?”

  “For tonight and for breaking your own rules.”

  “You don’t need to thank me. We both needed it.”

  I waited for Nick to remind me it would never happen again, but the axe never fell. Nick started stroking my back, careful of the welts and bruises. With him holding me like this, like a treasure he didn’t want to let go of, I had nothing to fear from the past. I slept.

  Chapter Eleven

  Nick

  I woke up to find Julian cradled in my arms. Careful not to wake him, I ran a hand through my disheveled hair, wondering what the fuck had been wrong with me last night. No, thinking last night had been a mistake would be a disservice to both of us. Sooner or later, I’d take up Julian’s offer. Peeling the covers of the bed away, I ran my hand across Julian’s striped ass and thighs, smiling.

  Shifting, Julian murmured his sleep. Long after sleep took him, I watched Julian. Satisfied his nightmares no longer touched him, I let my guard down and slept. My dreams took me to strange places, possibilities of the future that could never be.

  Today, I’d push Julian into calling Tony, his lifeline. He’d refused, but I wouldn’t give up. Julian deserved some guidance though. Last night showed me what I suspected long ago. Being Noah’s captive had muted his love for BDSM, but his needs lingered. I’d met and trained all kinds of subs in my time, but few embraced the taste of the flogger and cane fully, the way Julian did.

  My brother found a gift and threw it away, never fully understanding what he had in the first place. The sound of footsteps creaking on loose floorboards bolted me upright from bed.

  “Nick?” Julian mumbled, not sounding completely awake.

  I shook him urgently. “Wake up. Someone’s in the house with us.”

  Julian blinked, rubbing at his eyes. Slow and quiet, I opened the drawer beside the bed. I kept a spare revolver there. Hell, I had one hidden weapon in every room of the house for extra security.

  A gun roared. Wood splintered. Abandoning the spare revolver, I dragged Julian across the bed and dropped to the ground. With a savage kick, the door swung open. Julian breathed hard, starting to shake like a leaf. He clung to me painfully, impeding motion. I raised my eyes and stared past the barrel of the shotgun and looked into the bloodshot eyes of my brother.

  “Noah, you always liked making a dramatic entrance,” I said, keeping my voice steady.

  Acting on impulse or showing anger wouldn’t do with Noah. He’d scent fear on me like a bloodhound. I never gave a shit about my own life before, but with Julian’s chest against mine, his head buried against the side of my neck, I could hear his frantic heartbeat. He couldn’t look Noah in the eye, understandably. I needed to be strong for both of us.

  My brother had taken away his freedom, his ability to choose and reduced him to nothing better than an animal. Noah would do it again, but over my fucking dead body.

  “Nick, you were the only fucking soul I trusted. Could have been born twins, I always told Mom,” Noah murmured. “It took me a while to figure out where you were holed up, but why here of all places?”

  He took another step towards us. Lines of anger contorted his handsome face. I hardly recognized Noah. This monster might wear my brother’s face and his impeccable designer suits, but he wasn’t the same boy I’d defended against school bullies, or the troubled young man who helped me buried our father in the backyard.

  Julian twisted in my arms, his courage stunning me.

  He looked his old tormentor in the eye and said, “Nick and you are nothing alike. There’s something not right in you, Noah. I wished I had the courage to leave you earlier instead of settling for you because I wanted to remain in that world so bad.”

  I dug my fingers into Julian’s flesh in warning. Noah’s nostrils flared at Julian’s words, at the simple gesture of me holding Julian close. In his mind I had taken what rightfully belonged to him, plain and simple. Noah never really learned how to share.

  I wanted to tell Julian to stop, that I knew Noah better than my own skin. Noah didn’t sustain himself on physical pain. He liked digging at mental wounds and making them worse.

  “What did you say, dog? We’re nothing alike? You ran from me and right into my brother, who wears my fucking face. You’re one fucked-up little mutt.”

  I watched Noah’
s trembling hands. He kept one hand on the trigger. The other dug into the pocket of his trousers to pull out that awful little toy he’d taunted Julian with before—the pear of anguish.

  Julian started shaking again. If this went on any further, Julian might end up having a panic attack, and I couldn’t have that.

  “I’m going to shove this inside every orifice of yours, pet. I’ll revel in the sound of your cries all the while my brother watches. That’s right. We’re going to show Nick what a real sick little puppy you are.”

  Reasoning with Noah wouldn’t be the solution. How would one fight a monster who had the bigger advantage?

  “That’s not necessary, Noah. I know what kind of dirty and depraved sub I have on my hands,” I said. Keeping my face blank, I looked at Noah. “I always liked your toys better. Your tastes are exquisite, then and now.”

  “Nick, what are you saying?” Julian whispered with wide eyes.

  Knowledge flooded his gaze a second later. I counted on Noah’s mental imbalance to believe the little play we enacted. Sooner or later, my deranged brother would drop his guard. Then, I’d make my move.

  Julian pushed me away or tried to. When that didn’t work, he started to kick and claw at me. Ouch.

  “Let go of me, fucker,” Julian hissed.

  I wished I could tell Julian he was overdoing it.

  “You trained him to be a bad actor, Nick? Do you think I’m that fucking stupid?” Noah dropped the toy. Julian winced when the metal hit the floor, and Noah clutched the shotgun with both hands again, aim steady.

  “You said so yourself, I’m like you. Why else would I take something from you?” Julian struggled against me again. “Boy, behave. Do you want to crawl around with a broken leg?”

  That put a stop to Julian’s movements.

  “See for yourself. Show yourself to Noah, sub. Let him see what you let me do to you the night before.”

  Standing, I released Julian, praying to God I didn’t make a wrong gamble.

  “Go on, sub. It would be stupid to run. You can’t escape both of us,” I said.

  Lines ceased Noah’s forehead, probably trying to discern my game. Seeing Julian drop on fours, chest to the ground and ass in the air for his inspection, Noah’s concentration wavered. Face stricken with desire, Noah stared at Julian’s marked skin, licking his lips. The same rage I felt when Noah showed me Julian the first time, painted my vision red.