Atonement (Heart of Stone)

by Sidebottom, D H

  I pursed my lips and turned my face back to the window but his hand lifted to my chin and turned me back around to him. “Fuck – off – Mason” I spat at him.

  His face darkened but his eyes lit up with a fire. “Why do you always think I’ve fucked her?”

  My eyes widened as I snorted quite loudly, “Because you usually have, Mason.”

  “Did you fuck Kade?”

  I couldn’t help it, I laughed at him. I mean could he not come up with his own topic for an argument instead of using mine?

  He shot out of his chair, his anger propelling him with a force that went against nature as he fixed me with a fierce glare and a hand at each side of my head on the headrest to my chair. “You wanna play silly games Ava? Oh, I’m all for games right now.”

  He was livid, I could tell by the way the tic in his cheek twitched rapidly and his pupils dilated so much his eyes widened to black orbs.

  “Games? Games? Fuck me, Mason. You’re the one who’s been playing hide and fucking seek for eight years. Using me as a pawn in the fucking chess game that I didn’t even know we were playing.”

  “Uh-uh Ava, I didn’t involve you in anything, I made sure you weren’t involved in anything. That’s the way I played the game, so deal with it.”

  “What the hell? You obnoxious bastard” I raged as I palmed his chest and tried to push at the solid wall of muscle, “I have just lost the only father figure I have ever had and you’re stood here, fucking laying down the law. Barking fucking demands. Do you not think I need your fucking support, your comfort, a little bit of damn compassion?”

  He screwed his eyes shut as he exhaled, his warm breath hitting me full force in the face and doing treacherous uninvited things to my insides. Why did he have to be so damn arousing, so full of raw sexual power, even arguing with him turned me on?

  “Yeah, I do, but you won’t let me, Ava. You’re so bloody distanced from me right now we may as well be on different planets.” He leaned into me, his nose touching mine and I couldn’t hold on to the soft groan of desire that flittered past my lips. “I’ll tell you once more and it’s up to you whether you believe me or not. I – did – not – fuck – Rebecca. The only person who gets my dick is you, Ava, you.”

  And by God, I needed it right now but I swallowed it back and clenched my thighs together. From the flash in Mason’s eyes, he didn’t miss the tell-tale motion. His eyes dropped to my mouth as his tongue sneaked out and wet his dry lips, my own eyes dropped to watch the erotic image and I blew out softly, trying my hardest not to grab him and just fuck the living daylights out of him.

  Jesus Christ, George had just died and all I could think about was fucking!

  “Move” I demanded as I pushed him again, refusing my bodies demands with fortitude I wasn’t sure I had right now.

  He shook his head sadly, sighed and moved back slightly. “Please, Mason. Not now, eh. Just not now. I can’t deal with your attitude while I’m trying to take in the fact that I will never see the man who saved my fucking life ever again. The man who pulled me from the darkness and lit the bloody torch for me. You get me, Mason? You understand the game I’m trying to play? I need this game to help me to the fucking end of the playing board.”

  He rolled his lips behind his teeth as he reached out and palmed the side of my head. He crouched before me and tipped his head to the side as I nuzzled into the comfort of his familiar touch. “I just wanna hold you, Ava. Love you until all this goes away, take your pain and share it with you but I’m so scared you will never let me in again. I’m so fucking terrified that this…this bullshit will be what finally breaks our backs, baby, snaps the spine of our marriage. I love you so much that I…I can’t fucking breathe, my heart beat is so fucked up my pulse thinks it’s in someone else’s body. My blood refuses to flow into my heart in case it gets seared in the burn.”

  “And my heart just feels so fucking betrayed that it doesn’t even understand what to do anymore.” I echoed the ache with a sombre expression but still nestled against him, needing whatever I could get from him.

  He cupped my other cheek with his other hand and rested his forehead against mine, his eyes still wide and claiming. “I don’t know what to say to make it better, Ava. I can’t say anything that will make it better. Yes, I fucked up as usual by epic proportions, huge bloody dimensions of mistakes that can never be rectified but please, please let me explain things.”

  I swallowed. “Not just yet, please. Let me just deal with this, with George, with bringing my father home. I need to get through this and yes, I need you with me to do that, but right now I don’t think I can give us the attention we need.”

  His eyes scanned my face but he nodded against me, the sweat on his forehead sliding between us as his ache projected through his gaze. I slid my own hands up over his jaw, across his cheeks until I reached his hair and then brushed my lips over his. I needed this, I needed his kiss; I needed the feel of him on me, with me, caressing me.

  “Ava…” he whispered as I opened my mouth and demanded he love me. A soft groan left his mouth and I swallowed it as I slid my tongue into his heat, his fingers threaded through my hair and gripped tight. The slight pain forced my own soft moan, instigating a heavier, deeper passion in his kiss.

  “Baby, please…” he breathed as his thighs slid aside mine in the chair and he hovered over my lap, his erection throbbing against the material of his trousers and pulsing against my belly.

  My fingers found his zip as they fumbled blindly to free his huge cock into my hand. It felt heavy and hard in my palm and I slid my fingers around his shaft and rubbed hard as a deep gruff hum vibrated through him, causing my own arousal to surge and slick my pussy in readiness.

  I grasped his hips and pushed him up until the tip of his crown rested on my lips. My eyes rose to look at him as his lowered to mine and I tickled my tongue over his slit then around the head of his cock.

  “Fuck” he hissed through clenched teeth and I lapped at the pool of pre-cum that he bestowed just for me.

  “Is that good?” I whispered before I slid my tongue down the underside of him, flicking my teeth against his ribbed skin on the descent.

  He shuddered and I felt him grip the headrest tighter when I slipped a hand into his trousers and cupped his balls.

  “Fuck, yes” he growled as he thrust his hips and shoved his cock into my mouth. “Take it, Ava. You know, you know what to do.”

  “And if I don’t?” I asked slowly, breaking away from him, knowing how to play the game.

  “Then I’ll fucking show you.” His hands cupped my head still and firm as he started his own rhythm of drives into my mouth. In, out, deeper, harder until the tip of him caught my tonsils and I relaxed my throat to accommodate him as his plunges grew more severe in his mission to fill my mouth with his spunk.

  “Your mouth is so fucking hot, baby. Fucking your mouth is so god damn good. I’m gonna come…Ava…Fuck…”

  I slid my hands around and dug my nails into his buttocks, the unyielding muscles tautening with his ejaculation, his cock swelling as he burst and saturated my throat in his own unique warm cum. “Fuck, so fucking good….” He rumbled and I smirked as I spotted Chris, our steward, step into the cabin. His foot stuttered before he drew in a heavy breath then turned back around and disappeared back into the cockpit.

  “I think we just gave our steward a bit of a shock” I chuckled as Mason lowered back down and rested his bare arse on my lap.

  He grinned at me, “He doesn’t know us very well though, baby. We’ve only travelled with him a couple of times. I’m sure we’ll give him plenty more shocks before our travels with him cease.”

  I frowned then turned my head away, not sure I liked his confidence of our continued relationship but I remained silent. I couldn’t be bothered with the argument at the moment; I needed to concentrate on other things.

  “I wanna fuck you until you pass out, until you beg me to never leave your sweet pussy, but I think we’re near
to landing, baby. I’m not quite sure the pilot would circle around, even for us.”

  I smiled unconsciously, thoroughly agreeing with him but the idea of it sounded good.

  He slipped off my knee and righted his clothing before he dropped to his knees before me, ignoring the fact that Chris was stood in the doorway waiting for us to finish.

  “Paola is meeting us off the plane. I’m here, okay? I’m right by your side Ava, and I will not fucking leave it.”

  I drew in a steadying breath, the notion that we were nearing our destination kicking my heart in the shins as a lump formed in my throat. I nodded but didn’t reply as Mason turned to Chris, “We’re ready” he said bluntly.

  He pulled my belt around me and clipped me in as Chris nodded once and turned back to the front of the plane.

  Mason’s fingers twisted in mine and he lifted my knuckles to his lips, giving them a soft kiss as he squeezed tightly. “Remember Ava, you’re strong but if you’re not, then I’ll be strong for you.”

  I sucked on my lips, forcing back the tears that threatened but nodded briskly. “Good girl” he whispered before I turned back to the window and watched as we descended through the clouds and back to earth, all the time wishing George could make the same journey.

  Chapter 17

  mason

  God, this beautiful woman beside me was the strongest most amazing creature ever to grace this shit excuse of a living orb. Her strength and grit as she took control and helped Paola through the grief of losing the love of her life astounded me.

  Paola, even through her sorrow, had arranged most things. A car was waiting when we landed and had taken us straight to the hospital where Ava had refused to see George, saying she wanted to remember him as he was, smiling in her memories and after visiting him myself, I wish I had heeded her acumen.

  The Portuguese red tape we were trying to fight through was utter bullshit and I could see the strain of it cutting through my beautiful wife’s bright green eyes, they were dull and tired.

  We were now back at George’s house and Ava’s tiredness was evident on her pale face, her eyes were bloodshot and her lips had lost their pink tinge; my chest ached at the sight.

  I palmed her face and directed her gaze to me as Paola watched my wife’s slight antipathy with a frown. “Ava” I warned as I felt the faint resistance at my move, “Baby, why don’t you go and have a nap. Paola and I can see to things from here.”

  Her eyes flicked to Paola who nodded in agreement, “Of course, Ava. I have to visit the British Consulate to register George’s… his…”

  Ava nodded and took a gentle hold of Paola’s hand, “Are you sure you don’t want me to do it, or at least come with you?”

  “No, no, I need to do this, Ava. I need to…” She didn’t finish but stood abruptly and headed out of the front door, her shoulders sagged and low but her chin was still high. She had been fighting her emotions in our company since we had arrived and her pain made me consider just how much it would kill me if anything were to happen to Ava. I would follow her, simple. I knew I wouldn’t be able to breathe without her anyway.

  I stood and turned towards Ava, her lips lifted slightly and her eyes softened as she gazed at me.

  Oh yeah, she stilled loved me, even though she hated me right now, she still loved me with the same damn potent, sometimes excruciating, intensity that I loved her with.

  I knew, to the marrow of my bones and the essence of my soul that our love would survive the wrath of the Devil, it was one of those rare connections that fairy–fucking–tales were made from; not that I believed in sunshine and rainbows, hell our eight years had consisted of lightning bolts, tornado’s and fucking heavy duty storms, but fuck me if we hadn’t pulled through it.

  We were made of fucking iron, an element made from the bloody God’s, just for us, just for our love to endure. We owed God, a lot didn’t, but Ava and I, we owed him our lives for building us from steel and fortitude.

  Her eyes locked on mine as I bent into her, slid my arms under her and carried her up the old wooden steps, pushing the bedroom door open with a foot before sitting her on the edge of the bed.

  She lifted her arms when I gave her a slight nod and I gripped the hem of her pretty pale green dress and raised it over her head.

  Her hair fell in clusters around her shoulders and across the pale cream lace of her strapless bra and as the sun streamed through the window and caught it, the golden glow made her mass of copper curls appear to be on fire, and her pale skin flush.

  Fuck! My wife was fucking created by Aphrodite, hell, she was Aphrodite. As I said before, I owe God everything for bringing her to me that day eight years ago.

  I wouldn’t let her go, I wouldn’t let her bounce off my untruths and renounce our relationship.

  No – Fucking – Way. She needed to know, she had to know.

  “You know you’ll always be mine, Ava” I whispered as I traced the ‘Mrs Fox’ tattoo inked across her collarbone with my fingertip. “This ink right here tells you that, it tells everyone that. You will never be unchained baby, you’re tied to me. Our souls are so fucking entwined that they’re welded into a single element. One soul with two essences.”

  She didn’t speak as I reached around and unhooked her bra, releasing her heavy breasts as my gaze dropped to her pebbled nipples. A small moan rumbled through my chest and my cock hardened as Ava’s chest heaved with her deep breaths.

  She was aroused; I could smell it scorching from her but she didn’t need this now, she needed reassurance and solace, not a quick bang between the sheets; her heart needed care and reinforcement not the pounding a fuck would give it.

  I lifted her slightly and lay her across the bed, pulling the plain cotton sheet around her waist, leaving her breasts free in the heat of the room. “Dream of me, baby” I whispered against her forehead as I placed a gentle kiss and the flutter of her eyelashes whispered my cheek. “I’ll be just downstairs.”

  I moved back but her fingers wrapped around my wrist and held me still. For a moment, she just gazed at me with a slight narrow of her eyes but then she sighed, “Why, Mason?”

  I clicked my tongue and drew in a heavy breath, trying desperately to reinforce my heart for my honesty, “Because I didn’t want you to know, it’s as simple as that.”

  “But,” her teeth pulled her bottom lip in as she tried to find her next words. “I’m your wife, Mason. Did you… those girls on your sofa…”

  “No, none of them, Ava. Never… there’s only been you, baby. I know it hurts but your belief will extinguish that pain. They were just there for an interview, Ava, nothing more.”

  She shifted on the bed and a deep frown tainted her stunning eyes, “Mason, I have never been to an interview where two girls were fucking on a sofa.”

  I smiled slightly, it was involuntary and without cruelty. “Ava, the sex was the interview. I know it’s hard and it’s about time I started being honest, even if I know it will hurt you…” I pulled in a lungful of air and swallowed in fear before I blew out that same breath. “Baby, in my line of work I have seen maybe… a hundred or so girls having sex. Some of them good, some of them bad, some of them fucking downright dirty but none…none ever got a rise, ever even got a twitch from me. There has only ever been you in the last eight years. Ava, you blow my fucking mind and that’s the god’s honest truth, baby. Fuck, your body haunts my dreams, Ava. It beguiles me; there is no way anybody else could ever do it for me after you. Sex… making love with you…it’s like God created the act just for us, baby. Just – for – me and you. It’s that fucking simple.”

  “And Rebecca?”

  There it was, her main concern, the optimum cruelty I could have ever bestowed upon her. It was evident in the etching of her face how having Rebecca beside me had hurt her, this one lie being the one that had broken the camel’s back, the one that had split the binding between us.

  “I… We need time for that conversation. Honesty and openness, baby and right n
ow, you’re too tired but I promise, tonight, tonight we have this discussion. It’s too hard for now, okay?”

  The line of her mouth tightened and her eyes darkened. “Ava?” I said, maybe a little too harshly but she relented and nodded.

  “Well don’t expect me to like your honesty and openness, Mason. You do realise that don’t you? Even in your need for atonement and empathy, I can’t promise that.”

  That statement and the way she said it cut deep but I nodded once, understanding her feeling of betrayal. “I understand. Sleep now and I promise an explanation later.”

  She nodded more firmly, her heart conceding but her soul denying. “I love you, Ava.”

  “And me, you” she whispered in return and even after eight years those simple words still shunted my heart and tore through my veins.

  Fuck, I fucking loved her.

  Too much? Always and forever. Entirely and wholly.

  Pulling the bedroom door to a near close, Ava still apprehensive with being shut in completely after being held by Dane, I exhaled the breath that I had been holding.

  Watching her face as I had lifted her dress over her head had put an already potent strain on my dick, never mind when I had released her stunning tits from her bra. Fuck, I needed her; I needed to sink so far inside her I felt as though we were one. A single fucking being that fucked forever.

  Fuck!

  I poured a Poncha, a traditional Portuguese alcoholic drink made of honey, lemon and other fruity crap, but it hit the spot, the slight burn settling the raging torrent in my gut.

  I was dreading the conversation that was deterred until later. I knew it was needed but that didn’t mean I was looking forward to it. It would either end our relationship or at the very least hurt it. The fact that I had lied to my wife, my little warrior, for eight years hurt me as much as it hurt Ava but I had been too fucking selfish, too caught up in what would happen once she knew, to be open and truthful.