Secrets of the Fall

by Kailin Gow

  My phone was ringing loud enough to wake Summer and I, but Summer was up already. And the sight she presented me when I opened my eyes was so beautiful, she could have given me a heart attack from shock. She was straddling me with her dress on…and moving back and forth on me, rubbing her naked wet core on my very hard hard-on. Not quite penetrating, but so close. As were her eyes…closed.

  As though she was still sleeping and acting out her dream. Oh God, it was hot, especially since she had no inhibitions and if she could, she probably would be fucking my brains out with the speed and passion she was riding me.

  She was a wild woman, moaning as she went up and down on me, her long hair flying everywhere. I was fully awake now, and enjoying Summer’s sleepwalking so much I was reluctant to wake her up. It felt so good, I really wanted to enter her, but couldn’t. This was strange for me…but I knew I had to stop her. Only I wanted to keep this going to help her build her sexual confidence.

  Being the gentleman that I was, I let her continue using my body for her pleasure. It wouldn’t be fair to stop her right when she was needing me, or rather, my body the most.

  I was relaxing, enjoying Summer take over and exert her sensuality over me. I loved it, and if she knew what she was doing, she would love it, too. Only thing was…did she know what she was doing?

  “Summer…” I said softly. I had to wake her up now.

  Her eyes were still closed, and she had bent down to start licking my chest and abs, lifting my shirt up so it was out of the way. But this felt so good…

  “Summer,” I reluctantly whispered.

  “Oh, what?” she said in between kissing me and then taking my nipples into her mouth.

  “It’s time to wake up.”

  “Oh, silly, I am up,” she giggled. She continued kissing down my torso then unbuttoned my jeans, unzipping it, and reaching into my underwear where her fingers began massaging me below. “Now, let’s see how you taste, Nat,” she said.

  “Nat?” I yelled out of disappointment. Was she dreaming of doing all of this with Nat still?

  My yell was loud enough to wake her up, startling her.

  “What? What happened? Who yelled?” Summer asked, opening her eyes and blinking.

  “It’s okay,” I said, touching her face gently. “You were just dreaming, and started to act out your dreams so I woke you up.”

  Summer blinked, completely oblivious to her dreams. “What kind of dreams was I having?”

  “The same kind I was,” I said raising my eyebrows.

  Summer blushed. It was adorable how she could still feel so self-conscious about her sensuality with me, especially after all we’ve done. “Oh my goodness,” she said. “What did I do?”

  “You, um, kinda rode me, Summer,” I said, smiling. “Not that I minded, but it was pretty intense, good, but intense where I didn’t think you were sleep sexing.”

  “What?” Summer asked. “Sleep sexing…oh no, I don’t even want to know what that means.”

  “It means what it sounds…you were acting out your sexual fantasies where sleeping…not that I mind.”

  Summer looked down and saw how she was sitting on top of me, straddling me, still with my jeans unbuttoned. “I am so embarrassed, Drew.”

  “Don’t be,” I said. “I highly enjoyed it. No complaints here.”

  “What did I do,” Summer asked.

  “You were riding me and almost went down on me, but no, we didn’t go all the way. I wouldn’t let you if I knew it.”

  Summer blushed and looked down. “Oh Drew, this is so embarrassing. Why would I be doing that when I made you promise not to try anything?”

  “I didn’t try anything, Summer,” I said with a smile. “You did.” I took her hands in mine. “It was because deep down inside, you still want to.”

  Summer nodded. “I can’t help myself, Drew. I do.”

  Chapter 6

  Summer

  After eating, showering separately, and getting ready to check out of the Four Seasons, we headed back to Drew’s car.

  “Where are we headed today?” I asked Drew, trying to act cheerful, despite knowing Nat was still missing. My heart didn’t feel like lead though, as it did a few days ago. Nat was alive and still out there in dangerous territories. We had to get him back home safe as fast as possible. Like Drew, I was determined, even if I have to fly to wherever Nat was to help.

  “We’re going to drop by my parents’ house to see how Mom’s doing.”

  I didn’t want to bring up how treatments were since Drew may be sensitive to it, knowing he might have inherited some of that mental disorder as his mother. Nat had warned me about it, but then he said he and Rachel could have inherited that mental disorder from their mother as well. The Donovan siblings all had that likelihood. Nat told me to keep an eye out on Drew and Rachel, as well as his mother.

  As if he could read my mind, Drew said, “Since Nat left, I hired a live-in nurse to take care of Mom.”

  “That makes sense,” I said. “Rachel’s the only one living at the house at this point. Well, not really since she had gotten her school to accept internship hours for her working at Aunt Sookie’s Acting Academy.”

  Drew visibly clenched his jaw. “Don’t remind me that she moved to LA, and instead of staying with you at the Pad, she moved into live with Ryan, who is now living in his own apartment near East Los Angeles College. If my father and Nat were around, they would help me talk some sense into her, forbid her from seeing Ryan or at least moving in with the guy. Hell, she’s my twin and the same age as me, but she sure seemed a lot younger.”

  “Rach is just rebelling again, like she did when she found out about your parents’ divorce. Instead of living with your mother, she moved all the way to LA to finish her high school year with an internship teaching at Aunt Sookie’s. I personally think Rach was smart for deciding that was what she wanted to pursue after high school. Like you and I, she wasted no time in pursuing her dreams. You went to USC earlier, and so did I. We can’t blame Rach for wanting the same thing. Plus, as much as you and Rach love your mother, she needed someone with specialized training to help care for her. You can’t put your lives on hold for her. Nat did in a way…” I thought about how he used that excuse to not allow himself to love me and to be with me, that he had too much family obligations to be in a romantic relationship with me for the longest time until he finally broke down and went for me.

  Drew looked guilty then and licked his lips. “Nat sacrificed a lot for the sake of family,” he said. “He was an incredible person and unbelievably amazing older brother.”

  I stared at Drew for a good second before I realized he said talking about Nat as though he was really gone. Where was the hope? Where was that enthusiastic drive to find Nat and bring him home alive?

  “Drew…you’re scaring me. Why are you talking about Nat that way?”

  “Like what?” Drew asked.

  “Like Nat was really gone,” I said getting frustrated and even angry. “How could you refer to him like that, as though he was your brother. He would always be. What happened between now and yesterday when you were taking charge of organizing Donovan Dynamics’ Operations Rescue team? We have a new Special Forces team sent out to find Nat and Mr. Donovan, find them and bring them home. That’s something…”

  Drew looked up into the sky and down again. He said, “Sorry, I was just tired. Didn’t think about what or how I was saying things. Of course he would always be my big bro. Don’t worry Summer, I’ll take care of you and be there for you especially with Nat away…”

  I took a deep breath and let out my frustration in one big breath. It was some yoga move Aunt Sookie had taught me years ago to help de-stress myself. I had started secretly or rather discreetly practicing yoga again in the mornings to help me deal with all of this…Nat, the stalker, the Academy, college, and Drew. Otherwise, I would be far worse than I could imagine.

  I could also imagine what Drew was going through, having to take on all the res
ponsibilities of Nat’s, while still being expected to handle college, his football scholarship, his mother, Rachel, and me. I’ve been so selfish in my grief lately, not even realizing how all of this was affecting Drew or Rachel.

  “It’s okay, Drew,” I said reaching out my hand to touch his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I know you’re tired and under a lot of stress, too. We will find Nat. We will get him home. I don’t really know the details of the top secret mission he and your father was on, but I have hope.” I reached out and hugged him tight, patting his back as I did so, in a supportive calming matter.

  Drew sank into the hug, and reciprocated by holding me as tight against him as possible. I could feel his hard body pressed without an inch of space between us. “Oh, Summer,” Drew let out a deep breath. “If you only knew how hard this is for me…”

  “I know Drew,” I said. “I’m going through the same thing. I know.” I looked up into his face, my nose touching his, and my eyes looking deep into his. “You don’t have to go through this alone. Just like I don’t have to bear the burden of everything I have to deal with…with Aunt Sookie and now this. We have each other,” I said looking so deep and earnestly into Drew’s beautiful deep blue eyes. Our lips were so close, our face so close. I just wanted to give into the urge of kissing him, to help wipe out that hurt I saw through to the core of him.

  I kissed his nose softly, playfully. “I see through you, Drew,” I said. “You don’t have to act big and strong around me. I know what you’re going through too.”

  Drew inhaled deeply and then said through clenched teeth and a ragged breath, “No you don’t, Summer.”

  I was stunned momentarily. Drew’s never disagreed with me before. The one time I comforted him when he was going through his parents’ divorce and his mother’s attempted suicide, I was able to get through to him. We became closer from that experience. “No Drew, I do understand. You’re trying to put a brave foot forward, to take the place of your dad and Nat for your family and for the company, but at the same time, you don’t know if you will see them again, you don’t know if your mother will get better or snap, you don’t know if you could continue playing football when that really wasn’t your passion to begin with, but your father’s dream for you.” I pulled his head to me until he and I were cheek to cheek. It’s a gesture I did with him once when we were kids about seven or eight years old when we wanted to tell each other a secret.

  “I’ll tell you a secret, Drew,” I said. “I’m scared too, but not so much anymore. I think when everything piled up all at once into a great big snowball, that was when it got to be too much for me to handle. I swear to God, Drew, when you found me in my bathtub, I must have hit bottom, lost my ground, fell, and kept falling, as though there was a black hole as big as the pit of nothingness. I wanted to go crawl into that hole to disappear, to escape the pain, but then I heard and saw you. I felt your love and your warmth. You did everything to made me feel you, even if you had to arouse me to get me there. But I did get pulled back from that pit. My body responded to your touch and to you, Drew. As yours respond to mine. Somehow or another we are connected, and even if we try to ignore it, we can’t.”

  “Summer,” Drew looked pained. “There’s something I need to tell you, but first we have to go to see my mother. I have to see how she’s doing. Then afterwards, I need to talk to you. Just remembered what you’ve just told me. How you are able to escape that bottomless pit of pain by connecting with someone by being there for someone else. Because I have a feeling we both will need it when I tell you the news.”

  Immediately I felt a panic begin to rise within me, first from the pit of my stomach and on up through my chest and to my throat. The news? What did Drew mean by that? How could there be such a dramatic news so early in the morning? What was going on?

  “Drew, as much as I like surprises, I have a feeling I’ll hate this one. Now I’m scared.”

  Drew pulled me into his arms and began rubbing my back, “No matter what, Summer, I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall far. I’ve got you even if there is going to be something that you don’t want to hear.”

  I felt tears beginning to form in my eyes. I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable. When did I get to become such an emotional basket case? When did I let myself break down like this?

  “You’re only human, Summer,” Drew said. “We’re only human. You’re affected by good news, bad news, sad news, anything just like everyone else. It’s what makes us sympathetic to others. It’s what make us capable of telling what’s right from wrong. There is no shame in being scared or worried. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” Drew turned away from me and hunkered down as though he was winded after running a few miles.

  “Drew? What’s the matter?” Now it was my turn to be concerned again.

  Drew stood up straight and said, “Come on…let’s get this over with.”

  I felt like my face was slapped. What’s gotten into Drew to blow hot and cold like that? Was he displaying some kind of behavior related to his mother’s mental illness?

  “Drew,” I asked calmly. “Are you alright?”

  “I’m fine, Summer,” he said, almost a little annoyed. He opened the door to the car, helped me in, and then buckled me in place. He was no-nonsense, serious even, as though his mind was elsewhere when he buckled me in, even without any emotions. Usually, he would linger when his fingers brush across my thighs, and I could see the pupils of his eyes dilate in excitement. But as he accidentally touched me, it was as though he had shut off all his emotions and was being a robot.

  “Okay,” I said, as Drew got into the driver’s side, buckled up, and started the car. His face was grim as stepped hard on the gas pedal, careening us out of the parking lot and onto the highway. He was going faster than usual, as though he was taking his frustration out on the road. When we got to almost 90 miles per hour, driving pass every car on the highway, I said, “Slow down, Drew, we’re not in a hurry.”

  “But we are,” he said. “The sooner we get this over with, the better, then I could deal with the guilt.”

  I blinked. “The guilt? What are you talking about, Drew? There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. It’s not your fault something happened to Nat and your father.”

  “No, it’s not that,” Drew said.”It’s worse. It’s much worse. But I can’t tell you until I show you something.”

  “You can’t tell me anything right now?” I said, crossing my arms.

  “No, Summer, I can’t,” Drew said, setting his jaw.

  “Okay,” I said, feeling like a broken record with Drew.

  Because of some miracle where there was hardly any traffic on our way from the Four Seasons to the Donovan mansion, we arrived in less than a half hour. The drive up the scenic hill would have been beautiful had it not been for how fast Drew was driving, making sharp turns, sudden stops, and fast jumpy spurts. By the time he pulled into the pavestone driveway, past the heavy iron gates to the garage, I was fuming.

  He opened his door and got out, and was walking to my side of the car to open the door when I pushed it opened, got out and walked past him to the back seat to get my luggage. I didn’t even want to make eye contact with him, I was so mad. How dare he tell me he had such ominous bad news, withheld it from me for a long time, making me suffer through intense worry and dread all that time, just to drive like a maniac to endanger our lives, and not even say a single thing the entire way over. How dare he ignore me the entire way over right after I spilled everything to him, right after I pushed aside my own worries to comfort him.

  How dare…

  Drew took the luggage from my hands, dropped it down on the garage floor, closed the car door, and pushed me hard against it. Without a word, he grabbed my hair pulling it back while his mouth crushed into mine with a fury that melted me. I was burning just as much for him, as we passionately kissed each other, running our hands over each other, moaning and groaning our wants and needs
.

  His blue eyes pinned me down while he devoured my lips hungrily, my neck, and then my collarbone. He bit me on fleshy part of my shoulders, and I felt a slight pain, but mostly pleasure as he licked it again, moaning. “Oh, Summer, last night was pure torture…you and your rules of not kissing or touching you.” He probed his tongue into my mouth to taste my mouth, sending shudders of pleasure through me. He pressed his hips between my thighs, and I could feel how much he wanted me.

  “You know,” Drew whispered huskily against my cheeks as he pressed his hips harder against my hips. He took the corner of my mouth into his and sucked on it, making my lower body burn for him. “Rules get me more turned on, because they’re meant to be broken. That’s what I want from you. I want to break all your rules.” His eyes burned into mine for a second before he released my mouth. He pushed my head back on the car until I was staring up into his face, his eyes still intensely on mine. “When you have no more rules in your rule book to break, Summer Jones, you will be mine.”

  His fingers came up to cup my chin to move my face to face his. He stuck a couple of his fingers into my mouth while his hips swayed and grinded against me. The pressure of him up against me, his hardness separated merely by a few pieces of cloth between us, sent a flame of lust clear through me and I bit down on his fingers in my mouth.

  He groaned out of pain and out of pleasure. “Oh Summer, I didn’t think you would have this wild side to you, but…it’s refreshing.” He removed his fingers from my mouth, his eyes never leaving mine. “All this time, I thought you were the good girl, of course you are,” he grinned, “but you’re more than that. You’re a lioness waiting to break out of your bonds. You have all this sexy sensuality deep within you, hidden behind the prim and proper princess image you’ve portrayed all these years, but I know you Summer. I know how your body responds to mine, and there is…” he kissed me hungrily, “definitely more than the Summer Jones everyone knows.”

  I wanted to protest that he was wrong, that I was that prim and proper girl, but I knew deep in my heart, I was much more than that…that I had a fury in me that made me a survivor. I was not a delicate society girl, but a girl who could stand up to bullies, a girl who could run schools, a girl who led her volleyball team to the championships thus earning a scholarship to USC, a girl who was able to survive the devastating grief of losing her beloved aunt, a girl who was able to survive losing the love of her life, and now a girl who felt this fire that burned ferociously for a man whose passion matched hers.