Secrets of the Fall

by Kailin Gow

  Drew and I were both survivors with that passion within us pushing us pass the pain, the challenges, and anything that came our way.

  Drew’s eyes searched my face as he suddenly stopped and went still. “Do you understand what just happened?” Drew asked.

  I nodded, my eyes wide and clear. There was no doubt I understood.

  “You’re a woman,” Drew said. “No longer the girl you were when I visited you in Malibu last when Aunt Sookie was there. You’ve experienced so many things that could have broken you, but instead of breaking you, it made you stronger. It gave you this fire, this ferociousness, that drew me to you. I always wondered out of all the girls I knew, why I was so darn attracted to you, why I can’t help falling in love with you. Why you…why not some other girl, whom my brother hasn’t laid claim on. It’s because I’ve fallen in love with this fire within you…the lioness within you, who had all the grace and loveliness of a dove. We can’t help falling in love with whomever we do…I’m…” he smiled, suddenly looking a lot more like the carefree Drew I knew, “just so lucky to have fallen in love with you, Summer.”

  He kissed me gently and pulled back. The sweet Drew who spent the summer running with me on the beach, who took his time to woo me by cooking breakfast for me, by picking flowers for me, was back. It confused me with the sudden change in personality. He was a sexy and take charge lover a few minutes ago, which set me on fire, and then he became the sweet boy-next-door who reminded of the Rachel’s twin brother who would shyly hang out with Rachel and I while Nat went exploring on his own on the beach.

  Nat had always been the natural leader of our group, mainly because he was older, but also because he had an independent streak. When I thought about him, he always appeared fearless to me, not afraid to go exploring, to take chances, nor try new things. I’d always looked up to him, since he was the eldest, and Aunt Sookie would often put Nat in charge of the twins and I when she needed extra help. Even at a young age, Nat was responsible, dutiful.

  He never like a kid to me. He was always as mature as an adult. He made me act more mature when I was with him…always treated me as his peer, the same age as him, rather than the same age as the twins.

  Drew, on the other hand, had always been Drew…with his carefree manwhore ways, his lack of commitment to any deep relationships, his devil-may-care attitude. He had shown another side to him these past couple of days when we finally made love. It was as though he was waiting to reveal this part of himself to me…the serious side of Drew, the masculine and sophisticated side of him.

  Drew took my hand in his and led me into the mansion. It was the second time I’ve been to the Donovan’s castle-like mansion, complete with turrets, a circular driveway, heavy stonework, ornate iron gates, and marble everywhere. The Donovan Mansion was a stately masterpiece of architecture, which would make anyone proud to own, but when Nat first took me to visit, he said it felt like a prison. He felt suffocated at the family home, because he was far away from the place he loved – the beach at Malibu, and the person he loved – me.

  No matter how luxurious or grand a house was, if you weren’t with your loved one there, it still wouldn’t feel like home.

  “Summer,” Drew said, leading me into the kitchen, the living room, the theater, and finally into a room I was familiar with…Nat’s room. It was so Nat…from the straight no-nonsense lines, the dark heavy wood furniture and floors, the grey linen on the bed. Masculine chic. Nat had taste, yet it was down-to-earth and livable. “This is Nat’s room. I’m sure when you last visited San Francisco with him, you’ve been here before.” He looked at Nat’s bed and visibly twitched his jaw. No doubt Drew had just picture me lying on Nat’s bed while Nat made love to me. Drew’s seen it once or twice before by accident.

  I looked at the bed, and I remembered Nat lying on top of me there, kissing me, and telling me how sorry he was for hurting me years ago by not keeping in touch with me, acknowledging me for years. The memory made me tear up, and I had to wipe away a few teardrops.

  Drew went over to Nat’s dresser where there was a photo of Drew, Nat, and Rachel together. Then there was a photo of Nat with me when I was thirteen and he was fourteen…the year the Donovans moved away to San Francisco, while I remained in Malibu, never seeing them again until three years later. Drew opened up the top drawer of the dresser and took out a small beautiful teakwood box. He handed it to me. “Open it, Summer.”

  “Is this from Nat?” I asked.

  “No,” Drew said. “It’s Nat’s. But I think you should see it.”

  I held the teakwood box gingerly in my hands, rubbing my thumb over the intricately-carved woodwork on the box. What was in this box that was so important for me to see? Without anymore delays, I opened the box and looked down.

  Nestled in the box amongst royal blue silk was a silver harmonica. I lifted it up and held it in my hand. Polished to perfection, the harmonica looked almost new, but upon closer inspection I could see it was an antique. Engraved on one side were the words, Joseph A. Jones, 1912.

  I looked up to make eye contact with Drew. What did this mean?

  “There’s more,” Drew said, taking out the blue silk lining. There was a small piece of paper folded inside. I pulled out the paper and gently unfolded it.

  The handwriting was familiar as I read on…

  Dear baby son,

  I wanted to hand you something very special that belonged only to very special boys…boys who are descendants of Joseph A. Jones, a jazz musician extraordinaire, who pioneered music early in the nine-hundreds. You will one day be a pioneer, and I want to encourage you to reach out there, grab destiny, and hold on. I will miss being your mother, but you are in good hands. My best friend will be your mother, and she is married to a wonderful young man who will love and take good care of you as his own. Someday you will understand why I did what I had to do. I will always love you.”

  I will always be your mother,

  Suzanne

  I nearly tore the letter apart! That was Aunt Sookie’s handwriting. What was a letter from Aunt Sookie doing there in the box?

  Then it dawned on me…the reason why Nat would have that harmonica.

  It couldn’t be. No, it just couldn’t be. I shook my head, hoping it couldn’t be true…

  One look at Drew’s anguished grim face told me it was.

  Nat was Aunt Sookie’s son.

  Chapter 7

  Summer

  I tore out of Nat’s room as quick as I could, with Drew running behind me.

  “Wait Summer, hold on,” Drew yelled after me. I didn’t want to hear anything more. I was in shock. Why didn’t Aunt Sookie ever told me she had a son? Why didn’t Nat ever told me he was Aunt Sookie’s real son. Suddenly everything made sense. The way Nat had almost the same coloring as Aunt Sookie. The way he acted differently than everyone in his family. The leadership trait and personality…very much like Aunt Sookie’s.

  Clues from the past suddenly made sense.

  How Nadine Donovan, Drew and Nat’s mother mentioned to me last time I visited her here at the mansion, that Aunt Sookie married the wrong man instead of the other one who was her perfect match. Aunt Sookie bore a baby once by that man, and her best friend Nadine, who was already married and stable, probably without the struggles a struggling actress like Aunt Sookie, had raising a baby on her own.

  So Nadine adopted the baby as her own, while always sending the baby boy over to Aunt Sookie’s for the summer to raise and spend time with his real mother. It was so shocking…I wanted to double check if that could be true. I needed to talk to my mother who was Aunt Sookie’s older sister. I needed to confront her on this.

  At the same time, I thought of what would happen between Nat and I. My heart sank. I didn’t feel any perversion either. Only love. I still loved Nat, but now, if he was Aunt Sookie’s son, then he and I would be blood-related. We would be too closely-related to even have children. A relationship between us would be taboo, forbidden.

&nb
sp; Drew’s arms caught me by the waist and he held me tight. “I’m so sorry Summer. I didn’t want to be the one to show you. But I had to let you know. I was shocked to find out, too. I mean, he’s my brother still, but now I know we’re not blood-related. That’s why we’re so different. But he’s still a Donovan by adoption. I…”

  “When did you know,” I finally asked, wanting to understand. Did Nat know all along but didn’t tell me, didn’t let me know that we shouldn’t, couldn’t, be together?

  Drew took a deep breath and said, “Nat didn’t know until he was getting ready to go on the secret mission. Mom and Dad never told him he was adopted. Looked like they were going to take that to the grave if Nat didn’t find this harmonica and the note. Even Mom was incredible in keeping the secret. Aunt Sookie’s not here to ask and Mom denied it. Dad is gone….”

  I had to sit down. My knees started buckling. We were headed downstairs, but I just sat down on the stairs and put my hand to my head. This was too much to take. It was as though fate had once again snatched Nat away, but this time, it was because we literally could not be together biologically. I felt sick to my stomach. Nat and I were blood relatives. And we had sex.

  “Are you alright, Summer?” Drew asked sitting down on the stairs next to me.

  “I’m just processing this, Drew,” I said. “I’m in shock, but I’m trying to wrap my head around all this.”

  “Like I said,” Drew said. “I hate to be the one to let you know, but there wasn’t anyone else who could. Rach doesn’t even know, and Mom is in denial, especially since she’s missing Nat and Dad right now.” Drew looked down. “You probably think I would bring this up so I can make you forget about Nat and choose me, but I couldn’t do that, no matter how much I want to be with you.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I finally said after a beat. “I still want Nat and your dad safely home. When Nat’s back, we can deal with it together then.”

  A look of disappointment flickered across Drew’s face for a very brief second, so brief I thought I had imagined it. “The team is working on it,” he said. “Very hard. But, there are no guarantees no matter how much effort we put into it, no matter what we try. My dad and Nat knew the danger they were going to face going there, so it was their choice to go…well, actually my father’s choice, but Nat went after him.”

  “Can we check in with the team at Donovan Dynamics to see how the search and rescue mission is going?” I asked.

  “Yes, we will. But after we visit with my mother. She will be happy to see you, Summer.”

  “Of course, Drew, we have to see your mother,” I agreed.

  “Speaking of…” Drew stood up right when we heard the refrigerator door slammed. “I think she’s back.”

  I stood up and walked down the stairs following Drew to the kitchen. As I turned into the kitchen, I bumped into a pretty auburn hair young woman carrying a bag of groceries into the kitchen.

  “Oh, sorry,” I said immediately. “Let me help you with that.” I reached down to pick up an apple that had fallen to the ground, but Drew had already snatched all of them with his lightning fast football arms. He walked over to the girl, who was wearing a tight nurse’s dress that hugged her curvaceous but fit body. He looked down at the girl, who was clearly blushing as she took him in with her blue eyes from head to toe. There was no denying she liked what she saw. This was Drew of course, and his charm was working on her like it did with others. “Here,” he said, handing her the fruits one by one. I saw his fingers brushed hers when he handed her an orange, and she flinched, moving her hand back slightly. She was clearly affected, and Drew…Drew knew it, too. He smiled and held out his hand after the fruit was put away. “Hi,” he said, “I’m Drew.”

  “I’m Amber,” the girl said, “Amber Head, your mother’s nurse.” She stood up straight and said, “Nice to meet you. We talked on the phone before when you hired me, but now I’m real glad we finally got to meet in person.”

  Drew grinned, puffing out his chest. “Me, too!” He looked around and asked, “where is she?”

  “Oh, Mrs. Donovan?” Amber said. “She said she was tired after spending the day at the country club playing tennis. She went upstairs to take a nap.”

  “How was she?” Drew asked. “Did she act strange or upset?”

  “She acted fine considering what your family is going through,” Amber said.

  “No outbursts, no crying?”

  “No, she seemed fine, and if she did feel upset, she took it out on the tennis game. She won a few rounds today,” Amber smiled.

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Drew said. “If that’s how she’s been these past couple of days, then she’s improved a whole lot.”

  “I think exercise and being able to meet some new friends at the club was good for her,” Amber said happily.

  I coughed suddenly, not on purpose, but because my throat was so dry. “Hi,” I said walking up to Amber and extending my hand. “I’m Summer, family friend. Close family friend,” I added.

  “Oh, Summer,” Amber smiled. “Yes, Drew’s mentioned you a couple of times in our phone calls.”

  My eyebrows starting arching as I looked over at Drew. Phone calls…as in many phone calls regularly? They talk about me too?

  I went to the refrigerator, opened the door, and helped myself to a water bottle inside. I grabbed another one for Drew and Amber and asked, “Want one?”

  “Sure,” Drew said, walking over to me and taking it out of my hands. Then he took the other one and handed it to Amber. His eyes never leaving hers.

  My stomach started churning. What was going on? Was Drew, flirting with the nurse Amber, or was this something more? They apparently talk on the phone a bit. She took care of Mrs. Donovan on a regular basis so he must call her all the time to check up with his mother.

  The more I thought how close they quickly got without even having met until now, made me suddenly feel insecure. Did Drew actually liked Amber?

  I felt like I had just been cheated on, although I had no right to claim Drew. It made me angry yet sad. Drew and I weren’t together. We weren’t even dating. What we did have was sometimes heavy lust-filled making out and one-time sex. Was that enough to sustain a lifetime?

  Looking at Drew talking to Amber and completely oblivious to me; I wondered if I could even date date him without ever worrying about him straying. Women found him attractive all the time, plus he was friendly to everyone, the All-American hottie next door. He would constantly be tempted even if we were together.

  Fed up with how he was openly flirting with Amber right in front of me, just after I learned about the devastating news about Nat; I was furious. What did I do to be treated like this?

  “Drew,” I said, walking up to him. “I’m going to go out to the car and wait for you. I take it, you’ve already shown what you wanted me to see.”

  I nodded at Amber and headed out the garage door to find Drew’s car. I was ready to go. I was feeling weak, having to deal with finding out Nat was closer to me than I ever imagined. And now Drew actively flirting with his mother’s new nurse.

  Luckily the door was not locked. I threw open the passenger seat’s door, played the radio, and sat in before the tears started.

  Dammit, don’t cry, Summer! I wiped away my tears and took out my phone.

  SUMMER: Rach – can you get me on the Donovan private jet back to the Pad? Something’s come up. In a hurry.

  RACHEL: I can try. I just got authority to authorize an emergency. I’ll get in touch with Steve, the pilot. Aren’t you at Donovan Dynamics with Drew? Can’t he get you on the jet?

  SUMMER: Drew is getting it on with the girl taking care of your mom. Left me in the garage.

  RACEL: WTF is wrong with him? Listen Sum, I’ll try to get the jet, but not sure how soon I can get you on.

  SUMMER: Good because Drew is acting strange, and…

  At that moment, the door from the house to the garage flung open, and Drew rushed out. His face apologetic and sa
d.

  I got out of the car and stood by my door, my arms crossed. “If you think I’m going anywhere with you, Drew, think again. I’m heading home as soon as I can instead of spending…”

  Drew tackled me to the car, plastering me against it, his hands roaming all over my body as his mouth crashed onto mine. It was a ferocity that was even more intense than the last time we were kissing here at the same spot. His hands reached underneath my shirt and bra, kneading my breasts before he tore open my front-buttoned bra and bent down to take each breasts in his mouth.

  I was angry, in shock that he was once again blowing hot, but so turned on, I couldn’t think. It was like his touch could instantly melt away all thoughts and feelings, except for this feeling of now. What he was doing to my body, to me, I couldn’t ignore. The feelings and sensations were so intense, it pulled all my attention towards them. Like the time he made love to me…it brought me back from the bottomless pit of pain I was delving in before Drew’s heated touch and lovemaking skills made me feel something else instead…something stronger. Lust. The basic animal instinct so strong and prevalent in humankind. Encouraged in men by their fathers to display it, but discouraged by society when it was found in equal measure in a woman. Drew had awaken my inner quest for sensual satisfaction, and he was my match when it came to the level of passion and drive we had for it.

  If Aunt Sookie was still alive, I wouldn’t know what she’d think of it. It was unbecoming for a good girl to be so sensual…to openly desire good and satisfying sex. Well, times have changed, and I felt Aunt Sookie would approve of the change. If she had Nat at another time, she probably would have raised him instead of give him to the Donovans to raise. I cringed, thinking about Nat, my heart breaking to think I could never again kiss him or touch him or make love to him as we once did.