Journey's End

by Deatri King Bey

  Joy couldn’t take her eyes off Jared. He placed the bassinet next to the couch, then took the baby from her and cuddled him.

  “He’s perfect,” he said.

  He hadn’t spoken to her in the week since the baby was born. In a way she was glad, thinking he wouldn’t have anything nice to say and she deserved whatever he directed toward her. He sat beside Joy on the couch, rocking and smiling down at the baby. His love for the baby looked genuine, but she wasn’t sure.

  He glanced into Joy’s eyes. “Don’t ever endanger yourself again. I know you are self-sufficient, but what you did could have gotten you and the baby killed.”

  Joy knew Jared would leave her and probably take the baby with him. She’d never done anything so stupid in her life and felt guilty. On her own she could take risks, but now she had a baby to think about first.

  The baby fell asleep in Jared’s arms. She loved him with all of her heart, but knew better than to wish. “Why don’t you go ahead and leave, but don’t take the baby. I’ll buy your half.”

  Jared fingered the baby’s black, shiny, curly hair. “What am I going to do with your mother?” He set the sleeping baby in the bassinet, which was directly in front of them.

  Wondering why no one wanted her, Joy began quietly crying.

  Jared took her hands into his. “I’m not leaving, Joy. I’m angry, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. People fight, that doesn’t mean they leave.”

  Joy shook her head. “You’re lying to me. Why are you doing this? I said I’d pay.” What he said about being angry and still loving someone she found could be true, for her anyway. She was extremely mad at him, yet still in love with him. On the other hand, he never loved her. He’d just tricked her into making love and sold her to the highest bidder. She wouldn’t be fooled twice.

  He lowered his head into his hands. “I’ve had a long time to think about this. Taking the gold was a huge mistake. I can see how this looks from your side and would have thought the same thing given the circumstances.” He lifted his head to her eyes and again she wondered how she could have ever thought his eyes were the same as the monster who killed her mother.

  “We are married, Joy. Your money is mine as mine is yours.” He took her hands. She wanted to pull away, but didn’t want to pull away. “I wasn’t trying to sell you when Lucas came. I was stalling for time, and I panicked. I found you as soon as I could. I’m here, aren’t I? Why else would I be here?”

  She wanted to believe him, but what if she was wrong? What if he were tricking her? She fought to hold back the tears, but found it increasingly difficult. “You want to sell the baby,” she mumbled. She looked into his eyes, desperately pleading. “Please don’t take him from me, Jared.”

  He pulled her into his arms, she fought him as she’d done when she was sick with fever and didn’t recognize him. After a few minutes, she’d exhausted herself. She couldn’t beat at him anymore and just laid her head on his chest.

  He stroked her hair. “I love you, Joy, and I’m sorry I’ve hurt you. I did a stupid thing.” He chuckled. “I guess we have both done some pretty stupid things lately.”

  He tilted her chin with his knuckle. “I’ve loved you since you told me I stink.”

  She couldn’t help but smile.

  “I thought you’d like that.”

  The baby stirred and they both looked on him. Jared lifted him out of the bassinet. “I think he’s going to be a very spoiled little boy if we keep holding him so much.” He handed him to Joy. “We need to name him. I was thinking William Montgomery. We can think of a middle name later.”

  Glad he’d chosen to name the baby after her father, she said, “I like it.” She looked over at the window.

  “What’s wrong, Joy? Why do you keep looking out of the window?”

  “My brothers haven’t come all summer. Two winters ago, a fever killed half of the village. What if it returned and they are all dead? There must be something wrong or they would have come to check on me by now.”

  “I’m afraid it’s my fault,” he said with hesitation in his voice.

  She tilted her head to the side. “What’s your fault?”

  “Last winter I stayed here. Wolf came to check on us, and I told him what happened.” He kissed her cheek lightly. “You see, Joy, I never intended on leaving you. I waited for my leg to heal and the spring thaw so I could come for you. Wolf returned to the village and told Roaring Thunder what happened. He sent a few young braves to help me through the winter. Once the snow began to melt, Roaring Thunder sent your brothers to help me find you.”

  “They helped you? But why would they help you after you sold me. I don’t understand.”

  “I didn’t sell you, Joy. I love you. They helped me because they know I’m telling the truth. Not all white men are bad. You know me, and I’m not like that. Trust your heart.” He shrugged. “I should have pushed my anger to the side and told you how much I love you last week when you delivered William. I’m sorry, baby. I love you.”

  She closed her eyes, wanting to believe, but it was so hard. Her fear still told her he’d leave someday. She opened her eyes. “But why haven’t they come.”

  “It took you weeks to arrive after leaving Lucas’s. I stayed in the village until we knew you’d returned. Roaring Thunder told everyone from the village to stay away and give us a chance to work things out. The only problem was Samson wouldn’t leave. I finally saw him in the woods and convinced him to leave.”

  Her heart caught. “I thought he’d left me.” She was so glad he hadn’t left her alone. She knew he was a good man.

  “What in the hell were you thinking, Joy? How could you hunt for food? How would you deliver the baby? And then you sent the wolves away, too…I’m sorry, I just get so angry when I think of what could have happened.”

  Joy watched the baby sleep. “I was heading into town the next day. I wanted to be with my family. I knew they wouldn’t just leave me.” She connected with his eyes. “They aren’t like him,” she said of Lucas. “They love me. I wanted them.” She looked back down at the baby. “I sent the wolves for them. I was out in the woods to remove the snares. I didn’t want any animals getting caught in them.”

  He chuckled. “You were worried about catching a few rabbits by accident. I love you so much, Joy. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I was just so scared when I heard your scream. I thought I might lose you.” He traced her cheek with his finger, sending sensual waves through her. “I’ll go to the village tomorrow and fetch your brothers.”

  “Thank you.” She prayed Jared wouldn’t abandon her.

  He rose and headed for the kitchen. “You need to eat so you can make plenty of milk for my baby boy. How many more children do you think we should have? I’m thinking six or seven.”

  Joy watched him prepare their dinner. She wasn’t sure what he wanted, but she knew it wasn’t more children with her. Then she thought about what he said. He needed her to feed the baby. He wanted to use her as a cow for his child. Once the baby was able to do without breast milk, he’d leave her.

  “I’m moving into the bedroom with you and changing my room into a nursery. I’ll make another bassinet to keep in our room.”

  Joy’s eyes went wider than saucers. Surely, he didn’t expect them to sleep in the same bed after what he’d done. “You’re not sleeping in my bed. You have your own. Sleep in it.”

  He crossed the room and knelt before her. “Joy, we’re married. A lot of married couples sleep in the same bed. I know down in the village that’s standard practice.”

  “But why do you want to sleep with me?” He didn’t need to sleep with her for her to produce milk, she mused.

  “Several reasons come to mind. I know you have doubts, Joy, but I’ll prove I’m here for the long haul. I am your husband and will live as such from now on. You can believe it or not, but that’s how it is going to be. I don’t care if it is fifty years from now and you are still saying I’m going to leave you. I won�
��t.” He kissed her forehead and returned to the kitchen. “We will live as husband and wife, Joy. I love you and you love me. I will not argue with you about this. On this I will be the stubborn one.”

  Joy sat there dumbfounded. He sounded sincere, but she wasn’t sure. Could he be telling the truth? She giggled, imagining herself insisting she didn’t believe him fifty years from now. She recognized her stubborn streak. She shook her head, still tickled, thinking maybe too stubborn when it came to Jared. She’d talk to Roaring Thunder, and he could help her sort through her conflicting feelings. Until then, she’d withhold judgment on Jared.

  Joy went to bed before Jared, hoping to be asleep before he entered the bed. She’d missed him so much and would never become accustomed to being alone if he slept in the same bed with her.

  If she didn’t keep her distance, she’d suffer more when he left. She’d nodded off to sleep when she felt him enter the bed. He pulled her close and spooned her into his body; she felt secure again. Loving his embrace, she relaxed and slipped into a deep sleep.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Joy spent most of the day on the porch with the baby, waiting on Jared to return with her brothers. He’d set the bassinet and supplies on the porch next to the swing to cut down on her walking. When she saw the wolves running toward her, she cried out for joy.

  All five wolves ran to her, sniffing and pushing for their turn to be pet on the head. Shortly after the wolves, her brothers and Jared appeared from out of the woods. She began laughing as she realized they must have brought the whole village with them. She stood on her crutches to greet her family.

  Wolf ran to her, hugging and spinning her around. “You terrible, little, mule-headed girl. Jared told me what you did.” He set her down, kissed her cheek then looked around to see who was watching. “Raven is going to kill you. Now where’s my nephew?” He took the baby out of the bassinet and walked toward the women. “I’ll save you, as always.” He tossed over his shoulder as he left.

  She watched Wolf show the baby to their brothers on his way to his sister-in-laws and wife. Jared kissed his son and let Wolf pass.

  Roaring Thunder stood in front of Joy and smiled. “I am very proud of you, Brave Heart. Father is pleased.” He hugged her. “Yes, I am very proud of you.” He stepped back. “Tonight we feast.” He pointed to the braves who carried the food.

  And feast they did. The party continued early into the morning. Just about the whole village attended. Most thought Joy would never marry or have children; thus, this was practically a miracle. The next morning, Joy woke early to feed William. Jared had slept outside with the other men. Her house was used by the children and the older women.

  She looked down into the bassinet at her fussing baby. Such a handsome little thing. “Hey, little boy, what are you making all that noise about? You’re going to wake up the house.” She lifted and placed him in the bed beside her. She opened her gown, so he could feed. A few minutes into the feeding, Raven entered the room.

  She smiled at Joy, placed the fruit and nuts on the nightstand and sat on the bed. “He’s beautiful.” She took one of his hands. “So delicate. He was born a little early, but he’s strong.” She turned to Joy and stroked her hair. “You’ve grown quite a bit in the past year. You’re no longer a child, but a woman.” She smiled. “But I’m still going to wash your hair.”

  “You’re always washing my hair.”

  Raven took down Joy’s braid. “And you love it.”

  As a child Joy ran, jumped, fought, and hunted with the rest of the young braves. She considered herself one of them, and her father, Rising Sun, encouraged her behavior. Her mother, Wind Dancer, had only one daughter, and she was determined that she’d grow into a young woman, not a man.

  Joy had thick, long, course hair. Since Joy was filthy most of the time, Wind Dancer had an excuse to wash her hair and brush it thoroughly often. To Wind Dancer’s delight, Joy loved having her hair washed and gave her no problems. This gave her time to talk with her daughter and help mold her into a fine young woman. After Wind Dancer died, Raven took over as Joy’s mother figure, including the washing of the hair. Roaring Thunder had given her only sons, and Joy knew she longed to have a daughter.

  “Do you think Jared loves me, Raven?”

  Raven stopped for a second. “I know he loves you.” She picked up the brush and started brushing out Joy’s hair. “Why would you think he doesn’t?”

  Every time Joy thought about being sold, her heart sank. “He sold me. At least, I think he sold me. I’m not sure.”

  Raven looked around Joy’s shoulder at her face. “Who told you he sold you? That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “I’m not allowed to say his name.”

  Raven continued combing Joy’s hair. “How many times do you have to be told not to listen to him? His heart is filled with hate, and he is led by his heart. Don’t ever follow hate, Brave Heart.”

  “He used to love me before my parents were killed, and I thought he loved me when he took me away from the mountain.” She turned her head around to face Raven. “I still love him. I love who he was before Ma died. I thought I had him back.” She turned her head around to the baby. “I just don’t know anymore.”

  “I think he loves you, but his hate for the white man has blinded him to what he’s doing. Once he stops hating, he can love you properly.”

  Joy glanced at her now sleeping baby, then placed him on the bed beside her while Raven finished combing her hair. “I need to talk to Roaring Thunder. Would you watch William until I return?”

  Raven grinned and pushed Joy out of the bed. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask.” She lay beside the baby, patting his back. “Go find your brother and have a good talk.”

  Joy dressed, grabbed her crutches and went to find her brother. He’d fallen asleep on the porch swing. She shook him gently. “Roaring Thunder, wake up and walk with me.”

  He cracked open his eyes, saw her, then closed them. “Leave me alone, Brave Heart. The sun isn’t even up yet, and I just got to sleep.”

  “But I need to speak with you in private, and once everyone wakes, I won’t have another chance. Please, Chief.”

  He chuckled. “Why am I only Chief when you want something or are in trouble.” She grinned slyly. “I’m up. I’m up. You can stop now.” He stretched then looked at all of the men on the ground. “That was one hell of a celebration.” He stood, picked Joy up and walked into the woods.

  Joy dropped her crutches and enjoyed the ride in her brother’s strong arms. It put her back in mind to when she was a child and he would carry her on his back and run up the mountain. He said she was the perfect weight to build his leg muscles.

  Once they were away from the rest, he set her down, then gathered pine needles to make a cushion for her. After he piled the needles, he took off his tunic and placed it on top of the stack. He returned to Joy and set her on the soft seat he’d made for her, then sat on the ground in front of her. He laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked.

  “I was just thinking I wouldn’t have made a cushion for the Brave Heart. You are a mother and your name should match your spirit.” He smiled at her. “From now on you will be known as Joy.”

  She smiled. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” He scooted forward and examined her broken leg. “Isn’t this the same leg Jared broke?” She nodded.

  “You want to know if he was the one you were to marry, don’t you?” She nodded. “What do you think? Is he the one you love?” Her eyes shifted away. “He told me you think he sold you. Do you still believe that?”

  “No, not really. I’m just afraid he’ll abandon me.”

  “Why?”

  She leaned back on her hands to think. Though irrational and unreasonable, she feared he’d leave her. “I can’t explain it. I’m just afraid. I can’t take being left again.”

  “Yes, you could. You are still one of the bravest people I know. You’re
making yourself miserable, denying yourself.” He pulled her hair over her shoulder. “Our mother would be proud of the woman you turned out to be.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so. I also know Jared’s the one you were to marry. I couldn’t recognize him before, but now I don’t know how I could have missed it. You’ll fight sometimes, but he will never abandon you. We’d best return before the others wake.” He started to pick her up when he saw Jared. “Hello, brother.”

  Jared knelt beside them. “Hello, brother.” He grinned at Roaring Thunder. “Raven said to tell you she wants to try for a girl.”

  Roaring Thunder kissed Joy on the forehead. “Duty calls.” He rose and headed for the cabin, leaving his tunic behind.

  Joy held out her hand to Jared to get him to sit beside her. He sat and she cuddled up to him. “I love you, Jared Montgomery, and I know you didn’t sell me. I’m still afraid you might leave, but I’ll try to overcome it.”

  He rested his forehead on hers. “I love you, too.” He kissed her lightly. “It’s been so long.” He combed his fingers through her hair. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  She closed her eyes and parted her lips for him, melting under his touch. He pulled back, saying, “We need to stop. It’s too soon to make love.”

  She kissed his neck. “It’s been nine months. That seems long enough to me.”

  He laughed long and hard. “I’ve spoken to Raven, and she told me we can’t make love for two months. Your body needs to recuperate.” He grinned. “I bought a calendar while we were in town, and I’m marking the days. On October twenty-third, we will make love and not stop until the spring thaw.”

  Joy fell back, laughing so hard her stomach hurt.

  Wolf came running for them in a panic. “Come quick! Roaring Thunder is going to kill him.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Joy and Jared exited the woods and saw Lucas stripped of his shirt and sitting in the center of a ring of warriors.

  Joy yelled, “Please, Chief, don’t.”