“Whoa. Calm down. If Anna spoke to her mother about you, Bea didn’t mention anything to me. I doubt they would have discussed you, though. Anna and Bea’s relationship is definitely improving, but they are far from being bosom buddies.”
“I know. I just figured since I conducted the ceremony Anna might have had some questions. Oh, or maybe she picked up on something between Cee and me.”
“Maybe she did. She is a very sharp woman.”
“Damn it, Walter. I hoped Cee would’ve called me.”
“I know you did. But Keith, a lot of years have passed. You have to accept the fact she’s moved on. Maybe she’ll call you. Maybe she won’t. Remember, the phone works both ways. You can call her too.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
CECELIA
Why do we lie to ourselves when we intimately knew the truth? Do we think we can really fool ourselves? If I slept two and a half hours last night, I slept a lot. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened with both Bryce and Anna. I hated myself for the way I was acted, and how I treated two of the people I loved most in the world. I had to get my act together. I needed to start being myself again. And while I didn’t really know how I’d be able to stop thinking about Keith, I knew I didn’t have a choice. I had to try.
I hated I wasn’t honest with Bryce. Why didn’t I just tell the truth last night I kept asking myself over and over again? I had my chance, but I blew it. Now I was stuck. I already lied to my husband. To say anything more would just make matters worse. The only thing I could do now was never utter Keith’s name again.
As I tossed and turned last night, I tried to convince myself I had no idea why I couldn’t come clean with Bryce. You can lie to others, but you can’t lie to yourself. I was petrified my omission was because I still had feelings for the good judge.
Bryce stayed up pretty late himself, for which I was thankful. He gave me the space I craved. When he finally got into bed I pretended I was asleep. I didn’t even stir when he kissed my forehead and stroked my cheek. I waited until he fell asleep before I silently cried.
Way before our alarm clock was due to sound I snuck out of our bed. I wanted to make up with Bryce. I prepared a romantic morning. I brewed a fresh pot of coffee, poured him a cup, and placed it on Bryce’s night table. As I expected, after one sniff he was awake. I apologized for last night and I promised him I would try to open up more, not keep everything bottled up. He seemed okay with it. And to his delight, I then showed him how sorry I was. Any doubts about being forgiven were erased by the time I had to get Donovan and Dylan up.
Despite my fatigue, I felt good. I didn’t allow my mind to drift once today. I stayed fully focused on my work, and although it wasn’t even noon, I had accomplished so much on Jennifer Warner’s website. For the first time in days, I felt like the real me.
“Cecelia?” Mary, the receptionist, buzzed me.
“Yes.” I answered not taking my eyes off my monitor.
“You have a visitor,” she announced in her singsong voice.
Crap! Did I forget about a meeting? My heart pounded in my chest. I hated to be unprepared for a meeting. I quickly clicked on my electronic calendar and didn’t see anything scheduled for today. “Mary, I don’t have any appointments.”
“Yes, I know.” She snickered, “He said it was a surprise. He’d like you to come out to the lobby.”
I swallowed hard. “Okay. Give me a minute.”
Oh my God. Oh my GOD! I broke out into a cold sweat. Keith wouldn’t dare come here, would he? I undid my messy bun so my hair would flow down my back. Of course, he would! After all, look at the stunt he pulled this weekend showing up at the wedding. And since I worked with Anna he’d know where my office was. Knowing Beatrice she’d make sure to tell him what days Anna worked from home, so I wouldn’t even have a buffer.
I rubbed my face. Well, if he was going to barge into my office and upset my world once again, I was going to look good. I grabbed my purse and headed into the ladies room. I fluffed my hair and freshened up my makeup. I was very thankful I was wearing a short dress that showed off my toned arms and legs. It was amazing how hauling two toddlers really kept you in shape.
I slowly made my way to the front of the office. I struggled to try and keep my breathing normal. I was nervous but determined not to show it. I was worried what he would say and how he would act. When I turned the corner I didn’t see Keith. Instead, Walter was leaning on Mary’s desk. He had a huge smile on his face and she was giggling.
“Cecelia!” He bellowed in his deep and throaty voice as soon as he saw me. “How are you?” He wrapped his arms around me in a tight bear hug.
Seconds ago I was so nervous Keith was here and now I was disappointed he wasn’t. What the hell was wrong with me? “Doing good, Wally!” I broke free of his embrace. “Well, this is a surprise. I thought you knew Anna worked from home on Fridays.”
“Of course I know. I didn’t come to see Anna, though. I came to see you. Do an old man a favor, would ya? Get your bag and join Beatrice and me for lunch. I know you probably don’t have much time, so she is across the street at Wilson’s getting us a table.” With a whisper he added, “I like putting the old girl to work. Keeps her grounded.”
I couldn’t help but giggle.
“Wally, thanks so much for the invite but I’m sorry I can’t join you, I’m swamped.”
“Nonsense.” He waved his hand. “You have to eat, don’t you? Don’t worry. We won’t take much of your time. Come on.” He winked. “My treat.”
And while I may not, nor ever be, a member of the Beatrice Buchanan fan club I did adore Walter, so I agreed to go. Bea was already seated at a table by the window, studying the menu when we arrived. She got up and gave me an air kiss. “Oh, darling!” She looked me up and down. Being subtle clearly wasn’t a strong suit of hers. “You look lovely. I am so glad you could join us.” She glanced at Walter. “I was worried you’d be too busy.”
“I was, but how can you turn this guy down?” I smiled at Walter as I patted him on the arm.
Walter beamed.
A few minutes later the waitress dropped off our drinks. Beatrice examined her glass as if she was looking for the cure to cancer. Anna had always joked about how precise her mother was when it came to food. I thought she must have been exaggerating. But after listening to Bea take ten minutes to go over the exact specifications of how she wanted her Cobb salad prepared, I knew Anna spoke the truth. I thought I was going to lose it when she explained the importance of the chicken being cubed and not served in strips.
Wally and I both ordered grilled cheese sandwiches. I don’t know about him, but I picked it because it was the simplest item on the menu. I felt so bad for our server. I waited tables during college, so I knew first hand the frustration she was feeling.
“I knew it!” Beatrice exclaimed as she thrust her glass towards the waitress. “I could tell by the look of the glass the iced tea was sweetened. I’m sorry, dear. Please be a plum and get me an unsweetened iced tea. Do you know how bad sugar is for you? And don’t get me started on those imitation sweeteners.” Beatrice shook her head from side to side. “My daughter insists on using them. I guess I should be happy she’s at least calorie conscious.”
I couldn’t take it. As soon as the waitress walked away I said, “Bea, Anna has a lovely figure, and she’s had two children.”
“Oh yes, dear, I know. I’m very proud of how she keeps herself, now. I’m just worried about the future. You know, your metabolism slows down with every passing year. Do you know how hard I’ve had to work to remain a size six at my age?”
“I can only imagine,” I muttered as I suddenly craved a mint-chocolate-chip hot fudge sundae.
“Well, I, for one am very thankful you take the extra effort.” Walter leaned over and kissed Beatrice on her cheek. Like Anna, I really wondered what a cool guy like him saw in her.
As soon as the waitress dropped off Bea’s new iced tea, which miraculously wasn�
��t sweetened, Walter turned to me. “I’m sure you are wondering why we dragged you out of your office for lunch today.”
“Well, now that you mention it,” I smiled. “Yes, I’m quite confused.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I feel like I owe you an apology, Cecelia.”
Beatrice cleared her throat.
“Fine.” Walter grinned. “Bea here is making me come clean.”
Beatrice nodded and picked up her butter knife to check her reflection.
“I don’t understand, Wally. What do you possibly have to apologize to me for?”
He rubbed his temple. “I haven’t been honest with you.”
“And if anyone is an expert about the damage secrets and lies can do it’s me,” Bea chimed in. “Trust me, I know first hand how they can destroy relationships. I told Walter he could keep his little secret until the wedding. After all, we sure didn’t need any more drama now, did we? The wedding is over and done with. We’re leaving for Italy in a couple of days. I wanted to make sure he got everything out in the open before we left the country. And I figured it was probably best we picked a day to see you when Anna was off from work.”
I couldn’t help it. I arched my eyebrow. I knew Anna’s biggest pet peeve was when people assumed just because she was working from home she was off.
“Oh, don’t give me that look, dear. I know what you’re thinking. My daughter sings me the same song all the time. Yes, I know she is working. Saying she is off is just a force of habit. Another thing I am trying to change. Enough about me, Walter, speak to the girl.”
The waitress dropped off our lunches and thankfully the chicken was cubed and the tomatoes were on the side. Bea dove right in. I would bet my house she starved herself for at least a month prior to the wedding.
Walter picked up a French fry and popped it into his mouth. He chewed slowly. Then he took a sip of his Coke. Finally, he said, “Okay, so here it goes. Cecelia, do you remember the first day we met?”
“Of course I do.” I smiled as I remembered. “You stopped by the office to give Anna some wedding band demo tapes to listen to so she’d be able to help Bea pick out musicians for the wedding. Then you took us out to lunch. We actually came here.”
“Yep, that’s true. Did you notice anything special about me?”
I placed my sandwich down on my plate. “Um, only that you seemed nice and really funny.”
He grinned. “Good. I was afraid I gave something away.”
“Gave what away? What are you talking about Walter?”
“Cecelia, the day I met you wasn’t the first time I met you.”
I stared at him. Then I glanced over at Beatrice who slowly nodded her head.
“I don’t understand, Wally. What are you talking about?”
Walter took another sip of his soda. “You and I had dinner together, before. Well, actually we’ve had dinner together several times to be exact.”
I absent-mindedly dipped a fry into ketchup. “I don’t understand.”
Walter offered me a small smile, “I’m not surprised you don’t remember. Let’s face it, I don’t look the same as I did twenty years ago.”
“Oh, I’ve seen pictures.” Bea chimed in as I wracked my brain. “I, for one, think you look much better now. I didn’t like your hair. You wore it too short. But you have packed on a few pounds and your hair is much grayer now.”
Ignoring Bea’s comment my mind raced. “Twenty-years ago?” I asked as I nervously twirled a strand of hair.
“Yes, Cecelia, about twenty years ago we knew each other.”
“You certainly have a good memory. Clearly, I don’t.” I giggled.
“I don’t know if Anna mentioned it to you, I’m a recently retired lawyer.”
“I think she might have, but to be honest, I don’t remember.” I scrunched my face. “I didn’t really pay too much attention. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Why would my career matter to you anyway?” Walter chuckled. “So, anyway, I made partner at my firm at a very young age. In fact, for a good many years, I was the youngest member to accomplish it. I knew I worked hard. But I also knew I was extremely lucky. You see, my father was an attorney and he coached me every step of the way. I wanted to pay it forward and help other young lawyers. So I began to mentor them. I’d pick the brightest and the best new hire each year and spend a couple of hours every week with them. I loved watching them grow, professionally and personally. I tried hard not to get too attached to them. After all, it was only business.”
“Men,” Bea muttered.
Walter ignored her, “Then one day we hired this young attorney. He came from a good school, but not a great one. I was a little skeptical of how he’d fare even though he did graduate at the top of his class. He was originally from Vermont, and he was so excited to live and work in New York City, especially since his older sister moved to Brooklyn a year earlier.”
I pushed my plate to the side. I suddenly lost my appetite.
“I think you know what young attorney I am talking about, don’t you Cee?” I felt like his gaze was burning my skin.
I took a deep breath. I tried so hard to blank my face. I didn’t want to show any emotions. I spoke slowly. “I think so, Walter.”
“Yes, you do.” He reached across the table and grasped my hands, squeezing them gently. “Keith was different from all the other attorneys I had worked with. He had a drive unlike anyone I’ve ever met. He made me feel lazy! I often wondered if the boy ever slept. It seemed to me, except maybe for maybe a quick meal or a catnap, he was always at his desk with his head buried in a case file. He intrigued me.”
I gave him a sad smile.
“I figured after a few months he’d ease up, you know, take work a little less seriously, but he never seemed to. In fact, he went the opposite way. After being at the firm for about a year, if anything, he seemed to work even harder. I took him out to lunch one afternoon. Unlike all the other times we were together, this time I had no intention of talking shop. I wanted to learn more about him. I broke my rule. I allowed myself to get personally involved.” He took off his glasses and wiped them with his napkin.
“So you know about his childhood, I guess?” I asked as I took a sip of my drink.
“Yes, of course, I do.” He nodded. “I can’t even imagine what he went through after his parents died.”
“I know. At least he had Jamie,” I said, referring to his older sister.
“Yeah, I’m sure she helped. But no child should have to go through what he did.”
“I know,” I said softly as I thought of my own two sons.
Keith’s father owned a fairly lucrative Christmas tree farm in Vermont. Well, that was until he was killed in a car accident. Keith’s mom didn’t feel like she could manage the business herself while raising her children, so she sold the business to her husband’s older brother. She trusted him, so she didn’t seek any legal advice before signing the papers. Unfortunately, she quickly learned he wasn’t an honorable man. He took advantage of her and paid her a fraction of what the farm was really worth. A few weeks later, her brother-in-law started to lay off all of the farm’s staff. Then, about a month later, he sold the land to a developer for millions so condominiums could be built. When she realized what happened it was too late. She tried to fight her brother-in-law. According to Keith, who was ten and a half at the time, she was doing a mighty fine job of it. Well, she was, until she found out she had breast cancer.
She couldn’t fight her brother-in-law and the disease, especially since she caught it late. She found herself and her children struggling financially, thanks to her mounting medical bills. What broke her heart was seeing the land her husband loved, the land her children played on, being destroyed.
She passed away six months after she was diagnosed. By his eleventh birthday, Keith had lost both his parents. In one year’s time, he became an orphan. Given what happened, his mother didn’t want her brother-in-law raising her children. She di
dn’t have any other family, so she arranged for them to move in with a friend of hers. While the woman was kind to both Keith and Jamie, she was a far cry from a mother to them. Keith and his sister only really had each other to rely on.
Walter continued, “After he had told me about his parents, I understood why he was so driven. Sure he wanted to be financially set, after what he went through, but more than that, he—”
“He wanted to prevent what happened to his mother from happening to other people. He loved the law.”
Walter smiled, “He still does.”
I rubbed my head. “Too bad no woman could ever compete with Lady Justice.”
“I know that’s what you think, Cecelia. And for the most part, for a long time, I think you very well may have been right.”
Beatrice cleared her throat and clinked her gold Rolex watch with a French manicured fingernail. “Walter, the girl has to get back to work, remember. Tell her what you came here to say, already. Will you?”
“My Beatrice, such a patient woman, isn’t she?”
I was shocked that Beatrice grinned from ear to ear at his joke.
“So like I said, in all my years I never got personally attached to any of the kids I mentored. I figured it was better that way. I didn’t want to form a friendship with one of them only to have to possibly have to turn around and fire them another day. When Keith told me his life story over lunch, I really felt for him. I couldn’t keep my distance. I wanted to do more than just casually guide him. I wanted to take him under my wing. I knew how much success meant to him and I wanted to help him get it.”
“You’re a good man, Walter.” I smiled.
“Nah… I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I may have just been selfish. I lost my daughter, Jessica, to spinal meningitis a week before her fourth birthday. My marriage wasn’t able to survive the strain, so we divorced. Sure I dated, but I never let anyone get too close to my heart, well that is until I met Bea.”
“Yeah. I guess guarded hearts was quite common around your office.” I snickered.
Plan Cee (Secrets, Lies, and Second Chances Book 2) Page 5