Walter ignored my comment and continued speaking as if I didn’t say anything. “Honestly, I think I needed Keith as much as he needed me. In many ways, I thought of him as the son I never had, especially since he never took my advice.”
I laughed. Keith sure could be stubborn when he wanted to be, which was pretty much all the time.
“I remember the night of your first date like it was yesterday.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do. I knew Keith for about six years by then. And, for the first time since I met him, he couldn’t fully focus on work. He was so excited. He’d never admit it, but he was really lonely. Even though I was old enough to be his dad, besides his sister, I think I was his only friend. After all, the only thing he did was work, work, and work!”
“You’re preaching to the choir here, remember?”
“Oh, yeah.” Walter winked at me. “You knew him well, too. As I was saying, he was so excited for your first date, and nervous too. I think he feared all his work and no play would make him rusty if you know what I mean.”
I threw my napkin at him. “Yes, I know what you mean, and just to clear things up, in case you have been wondering all these years, he certainly was not rusty!” I laughed.
“Well, isn’t that good to know,” Bea chimed in as she rolled her eyes. “I was curious.”
I laughed really hard. I never expected her to have a sense of humor.
“Oh ladies.” He made the shame on you gesture with his fingers before continuing. “So, anyway, the next day, he came into work and there was a spring in his step. He had such a great time with you. I prayed he’d ease up on himself and make some time for the girl who finally brought a smile to his face. When I found out you guys were dating, I was delighted. Sure he still busted his butt at the office, but he did also manage to have a bit of a life.”
“I know. I had serious doubts he’d be able to make room for me. I was shocked he wanted to see me so soon after our first date.” An hour or so after he walked me to my apartment he called to make plans to go out again the following night. I remember thinking I found a guy who didn’t play games. How wrong I was I?
As if he read my mind, Walter said, “He was crazy about you, Cecelia. He just had problems showing it.” He reached over and squeezed my hand. “Oh, how I wanted to meet you. I kept asking him to set up a dinner, but he always hemmed and hawed about it.”
“I can only imagine.” I shook my head and pursed my lips. “He never wanted me to meet anyone in his life. He always kept me at arm’s length. I was so excited when he told me we were having dinner, and I quote, with this amazing guy from work. I really enjoyed the night. And yes, now I remember you clearly.” I turned to face Beatrice. “Oh, and I agree. Walter’s hair does look much better now.”
“Ha! Told ya so!”
Walter cleared his throat as he stroked his hair. “I enjoyed myself too, Cee. Now don’t take this the wrong way. You charmed me, for sure. You were a delight to be with. But what I enjoyed most was seeing the expressions on Keith’s face. When he looked at you, I saw adoration in his eyes. You made him laugh. He seemed at peace when he was with you. I truly believe he loved you.”
I glanced down at the napkin on my lap. “I had hoped so, but…”
“But nothing. Look at me Cecelia!” he demanded. “You can believe what you want, I can’t change your mind. Nor can I change the past. There is one thing you should know. Keith loved you. He just didn’t know how to show it properly.”
I tucked my hair behind my ears. “Whatever you say, Walter. He’s your friend after all.”
“Don’t give me that crap, Cee. Yes, he is my friend, but I am here with Beatrice on my own. Keith doesn’t know we came. And I don’t plan on telling him. I just felt I owed it to you to tell you the truth.”
“Here, dear.” Beatrice handed me a package of tissues. “Blot your face. Your mascara is beginning to run.”
“Thanks,” I began to dab around my eyes. I couldn’t believe I was crying.
As if she had a window into my thoughts Beatrice continued. “Oh, and don’t worry. I’m not planning on telling my daughter about this little lunch either. I know from her you’re a very private person. So anything you say at this table will stay at this table.”
I nodded my head as more tears rolled down my face. “Thank you.”
“So as I was saying, Cecelia, you can believe what you want, but I have known Keith for a very long time, I know he loved you then, and he still loves you today.”
“I would really like to believe you, Walter. But I don’t know if I can.”
Walter tossed his napkin on his empty plate. “Okay. Ponder this one for a second. How do you think I recognized you so quickly after so many years?”
I flashed him a toothy grin. “I don’t know? Maybe I haven’t aged a bit?”
“Well, while you do look practically the same, I’m not getting any younger. My memory isn’t what it used to be. I recognized you because my friend still has your picture in his apartment. He shows it to me fairly often just as he still talks about you.”
“In my head, I know you wouldn’t lie to me, Walter. I just don’t know if I can believe you either.”
“Would you believe me?” Bea chimed in. “After all, I’m a far cry from being as nice as the big guy. In all my years on this planet, I’ve never once been accused of saying something just to make someone feel better. Even I saw your picture and had conversations with Keith about you. I just never made the connection that Keith’s Cecelia could possibly be my daughter’s best friend, Cecelia.”
I blew my nose, and pointed at Bea, “Now, you I believe!”
CHAPTER NINE
CECELIA
“To hell with my diet,” I announced when the waitress asked if we wanted any dessert. My mind was spinning. I had barely touched my sandwich. I still had so many questions left to ask. Memories bombarded me and my emotions were all over the place. Since I had to go back to work after lunch, I couldn’t order a drink to calm my nerves. So something sweet would have to do. I caved and ordered a hot fudge sundae. Walter did the same.
“Really you two? You both need ice cream, now? Didn’t you hear anything I said about sugar?”
The waitress quickly turned around to leave. For once during this meal, I wished I were her. I didn’t think I had the strength to endure another sugar sermon from Beatrice. To all of our shock, instead of preaching, Beatrice tapped the girl’s arm to get her attention. “If you can’t beat them, you might as well join them. I’ll have a sundae too, with chocolate ice cream and extra hot fudge, please.”
“Well, aren’t you full of surprises Bea.” I said when the waitress walked away.
“Well, what did you two expect me to do? Sit here and nurse a hot water with lemon while you stuffed yourselves with fudge? I think not!”
“Good point.” Then turning my attention back to Walter, I asked, “Speaking of surprises, I guess it wasn’t a coincidence that Keith officiated the wedding, now was it?”
Walter sighed. “No. Of course not.”
“So what happened?”
Walter took a deep breath. “Like I said, I recognized you right away. I didn’t plan on going out to lunch with you and Anna that day. It was a spur of the moment decision because I wanted to have a chance to chat with you. I was curious. Unfortunately, given Bea’s relationship with her daughter, I didn’t think she’d have any insight on you.”
“Which I wouldn’t have had,” Bea answered honestly. “At least things are improving now.”
I offered her a sad smile. I was thankful that she and Anna were both working so hard on repairing their relationship.
“Oh, Cecelia, it was hard for me to manage a normal conversation. All I wanted to do was blurt out rapid-fire questions at you.”
I laughed as the waitress dropped off our sundaes. Beatrice dove right into hers.
I popped the cherry from the top of my sundae into my mouth. “I’m glad you didn’t. You
would’ve freaked me out.”
“I know. I got lucky. Anna sure does like to talk, doesn’t she?” Walter let out a deep laugh.
I smiled as I remembered the lunch. “Oh, yeah. She sure does. She told you the story about my son and Christmas, right?”
Bea raised her eyebrows, clearly confused.
“My son, Dylan, loves colored lights. About a month or so after Christmas, he asked me where all the lights went. I told him Christmas was over. Then a few weeks later, Anna and I were in the car with my boys and Dylan spotted a wreath on someone’s door. He got so excited and started screaming ‘Christmas is back,’ over and over again. Anna couldn’t stop laughing.”
“Oh, I guess I had to have been there,” Bea said without so much as a smile.
Walter regained the conversation. “Anna really did get a kick out of that story, and it worked out great for me. I found out you had children without having to ask the question. I hate to admit it, but I had really hoped you were a single mom or divorced. Then you mentioned you and your husband had just returned from a vacation in Aruba. When you spoke about him, your face lit up. I knew you were happy and in love.”
I took a spoonful of ice cream and smiled. Bryce and I had so much fun on that trip. He knew Aruba was one of the top ten places on my travel bucket list. For my birthday he surprised me with the trip, taking care of all the plans. Anna had requested vacation time for me at work per his request. He arranged for the boys to stay with his mother. He packed all the bags, which he filled with several new bathing suits and sundresses. He showed up unexpectedly at my office and escorted me to a waiting limousine headed to Kennedy Airport. He refused to tell me where we were going. When we reached the gate and I saw the destination I was overjoyed. So many months later, I still can’t believe he managed to surprise me like that. Nor can I believe his attention to detail. With the exception of my honeymoon, it was by far the most romantic week of my entire life.
“Now don’t get me wrong,” Walter continued. “I was happy that you were happy. But I was sad because I knew my friend would be devastated.”
“See, this is what I don’t understand, Walter.” I waved my spoon in the air. “Keith and I haven’t spoken or seen each other in a lifetime. Why would he care? Clearly, I wasn’t enough for him. So much time passed and he never tried to contact me.”
“Now that is where you are wrong.” Walter pointed. “Keith cared.”
“Yeah, right.”
He stared at me, “Fine. I know you don’t believe me. But please, just hear me out. It’s all I’m asking.”
I ate a big spoonful of ice cream. “Fine.”
“I couldn’t decide if I wanted to tell Keith I saw you or not. I asked Bea for advice. I totally expected her to tell me not to say anything to him.”
“But I didn’t.” Beatrice shook her head. “I told Walter he owed it to Keith to tell him he saw you. Besides, I wanted to see how he’d react.” Bea took another spoonful of ice cream. “Now I’m with you, Cecelia. I’d listened to Keith drone on about the girl he let get away several times already. I was never quite sure what his true feelings were. I just couldn’t decide if he truly felt remorse for losing you, or if he just needed something to blabber on about. So I figured seeing what he did with the information about your whereabouts would be very telling as to what he really felt.”
“You’re pretty smart, Bea.” I smiled.
“I know.” Beatrice took a sip of water. “Walter and I went to the city and met him for dinner less then a week after your little lunch. Walter waited until our coffees were served to spring the news that he found you.”
My heart beat quickly, “What was his reaction?”
Walter answered. “He was pretty shaken up.”
“Shaken up?” Beatrice put her hand on her forehead. “He looked like he was in shock. His mouth hung open. His eyes bugged out of his head, and he started perspiring like crazy. I was worried sick he’d have a coronary and die right there at the table. Then he smiled wide. If he didn’t ask Walter thirty-three times if he was one hundred percent positive it was really you he didn’t ask him once.”
“Why everyone assumes I am getting senile is beyond me,” Walter joked. “But I assured him I had lunch with Cecelia Donavon.” Walter winked at me when he mentioned my maiden name. “Then Keith started asking me a million questions. He wanted to know what you looked like. And what we talked about. He asked if you seemed happy. He wanted to know if you had kids. He hung on my every word. I told him he needed to get with the times and go on Facebook already so he could see you for himself.”
I stared unblinkingly at Walter.
“He saved his most important question for last. Keith struggled with his words when he asked. In fact, he almost stuttered when he questioned if you were married.”
I didn’t know what to say so I remained silent.
“When I said yes,” Walter continued, “he looked heartbroken.”
Another tear rolled down my face. Beatrice once again handed me the package of tissues.
Walter took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to upset you, sweetheart. But you need to know the truth. When I said yes, he buried his face in his hands, and he kept it there for a few minutes. I can’t be positive but I think he may have cried. Beatrice and I tried not to stare. We wanted to give him a chance to regain his composure.”
“Walter tried not to stare. I wasn’t as polite. I stared and I saw him cry,” Beatrice clarified.
Walter shook his head at Bea. “Anyway, he told us he had to see you. He asked if you were going to be at the wedding, and when I said yes, he begged Beatrice and me to let him perform the ceremony.”
“I love to watch a grown man grovel,” Beatrice dabbed at her mouth with her napkin.
I licked my lips. “I knew it couldn’t have been a coincidence he was there. I had hoped it was when I first heard his voice. As soon as I looked into his eyes, I knew he had planned it.” I turned to Beatrice because I knew she’d tell me the truth. “When he recited the vows, I felt like he was looking at me. I didn’t imagine it, did I?”
In a soft voice, she replied, “No, dear.”
“He wrote the vows, right?”
Walter and Beatrice both nodded their heads slowly.
I rubbed my forehead. “Everything he said, he was saying to me?”
Bea put her arms around me. “It sure appears that way to me.”
As Keith apparently did months ago, I buried my face in my hands and cried. I didn’t try to hide my tears, though. Bea gently rubbed my back. After a few moments, I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “So I guess maybe he did care about me after all.”
“Yeah. He did and still does.” Walter said simply.
“I loved him, too. Why didn’t he ever reach out to me then?”
Bea stared into my eyes. “I don’t know, dear. But you didn’t reach out to him either, now did you?”
CHAPTER TEN
CECELIA
I was so happy I managed to get a lot done this morning at work because I was completely useless by the time I returned to my desk after lunch with Walter and Bea. I was emotionally drained, and my head was spinning. Instead of trying to force myself to work, I decided to clean my desk. Sometimes cleaning was the only activity that could calm me down.
All these years I assumed Keith didn’t care. After all, he let me walk out of his life without once ever trying to get me back.
When I ended our relationship, I never wanted it to be forever. Nor did I expect it to be. I really didn’t want to stop seeing him. I loved him so much. I just couldn’t stand how he always kept me at arms length. I understood his fear of commitment. Hell, I was so young at the time. I wasn’t looking for marriage then, either. I was fine with us taking things slow. In fact, I think I would have dated him forever.
I was even able to understand why he guarded his heart to some extent. His childhood wasn’t easy; but then again, neither was mine! He was the only person I was able
to easily open up to fully, probably because I knew he could relate to my feeling of abandonment. Our childhoods were very different. His parents died. They couldn’t help their fate. My father, however, was in full control! He walked out of my life when I was four years old. I always blamed myself for him leaving us. My mother swore to me it wasn’t my fault, but I never believed her. I still didn’t.
Things could have been worse for me, I knew. I did have some luck. My mother started dating fairly quickly and a few years later she remarried a really kind man. For the most part, he always treated me with almost the same level of love and respect as he did for Stephanie, my half-sister. After my mom passed away he moved to Virginia and remarried less than six months later. I don’t see or speak to him nearly as often as I would like. Even though I called him about twice a month, at all different times of day and night, I’m hardly ever able to connect with him. I usually end up chatting with his wife instead. If it wasn’t for her and Stephanie, I wouldn’t know anything about what was going on in his life.
For a fairly quiet and introspective guy, Keith was an easy person to talk to. I always felt comfortable baring my soul to him, especially my feelings about my father. He always listened, and always knew exactly the right thing to say to me to make me feel better. I desperately wanted to help him the way he had helped me, but he never seemed to be able to fully open up to me. Sure, every now and again he gave me glimmers of what was really going on in his mind, then quickly he’d shut me out. It was so frustrating. As was the fact that he never wanted me to spend time with anyone in his life. Sure, we hung out with Walter every now and again. While Walter was terrific, at the end of the day, I thought of him simply as Keith’s work friend. I wanted to get to know Keith’s sister, Jamie, whom he clearly adored.
Every time I asked him to make plans with her and her husband he found a reason not to. The only time I ever met her was right after she had her second baby. Her husband had to go out of town for business and Keith promised he’d help her out. He took her older daughter for the day so his sister could get some much-needed rest. I was so excited when he asked me to join him for his date with his three-year-old niece.
Plan Cee (Secrets, Lies, and Second Chances Book 2) Page 6