by Erin Osborne
“Oh, thank you for the invitation. I can’t go though. I have to get home to Karson,” I tell her.
Heaven nods her head; she knows about him and has promised not to tell anyone else. Bounce and Breaker are looking at me as if I’ve grown multiple heads. I’m not sure why, but I suppose it won’t take me long to find out. These men aren’t quiet by any stretch of the imagination and I’m betting they tend to say the first thing that pops into their damn head.
“So, you got a man at home and he doesn’t give a shit you strip now?” Breaker asks.
“It’s not like that,” I tell him.
“Sure as fuck sounds that way,” Bounce adds in. “Know if you were mine, you wouldn’t be takin’ your fuckin’ clothes off for no one but me.”
“Well, I’m not yours so it really doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do,” I say back.
Honestly, I haven’t been able to get Bounce out of my head since yesterday. It was hard once I was able to put a name to the face that I encountered in town and in my dreams. After yesterday, it’s even worse. Yes, I did try to tell him I was a virgin but it didn’t happen. So, I can’t exactly be pissed at him for taking me the way he did. The rest of it wasn’t bad at all. I felt so much from our encounter that I don’t know what to do about it. I’m still processing the shit out of it and I know I’m going to have to talk to Santana about it.
Today, I can’t look at him though. I wanted to object to him taking Heaven’s place in the chair but I couldn’t come up with a good enough reason. There’s no way in hell I want anyone to know what happened yesterday. Not because I’m ashamed of having sex with a man like Bounce, I’m not good enough for him. It’s because he’s not the kind of man who is with someone more than one; a hit it and quit it man. And if he wanted anyone to know, he’d have said something. So, I take my cues from him and keep my mouth shut.
I wave to Heaven and make my way out of Legacies. The heat is already unbearable and I can see the vapors shimmering from the pavement in front of me. I’m not looking forward to the walk home, but I have no choice. So, I hike my bag up on my shoulder and put my face toward the road as I begin the trek home. Santana is waiting for me. She has to head home for a little while and I’m going to use the time to veg out with Karson.
It’s only been two days and I’m exhausted and just want to climb into my bed and fall asleep. There’s dinner and playing left for today so sleep will have to wait. It’s nothing new to me; I’m used to putting my needs last. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world either. Karson is the most important person in my life and I’m going to do what I have to for him to ensure he’s happy and healthy. It’s what most people would do for a child in their life.
My thoughts drift to not having a good role model in my life. Everything I do for Karson is just me knowing what he needs in his life; love, support, and someone to nurture them. I’m doing the best I can even if I feel like a complete failure most days. I’m always tired and I know I need to move him out of the place we live in. Yes, I’m a broken record about that aspect of our life. It’s important for me to get him out of the neighborhood and somewhere with a yard so we can spend our time outside playing and laughing. Instead I have to take him a half a mile from the house to a park. Most of the time we don’t stay long because I don’t trust people and it’s not exactly the best park in town.
By the time I get home, I’m covered in a layer of sweat. It’s hot as hades outside and I’m ready for a cool shower. Today I didn’t even change into my sweats it’s that hot out. Instead, I threw on a longer pair of shorts on the stage and then pulled my tee over my head. Halfway home, I knotted it up so it didn’t hang as long on me. As I open the door, I come fact-to-face with a panicked looking Santana.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her, dropping my bag on the floor.
“It’s Karson. He’s sick and I couldn’t find a number for the club to call you. I don’t know what’s wrong or what to do,” Santana says bursting into tears. “I knew they wouldn’t just let me take him to the doctor because you’re his legal guardian. At least that’s what they told me when I called them.”
I rush from the door and find Karson in his room. He’s in his bed, writhing in pain, covered in sweat, and I can see the agony on his little face. There’s a large pan next to him on the floor and I can tell he’s already used it more than once. Reaching out, I feel his forehead and he’s burning up.
“I gave him medicine but he got sick so I don’t think it’s working,” Santana blubbers from the doorway of his room.
“It’s okay. Can you take me to the hospital with him?” I ask her, panic beginning to take hold.
Santana doesn’t answer me. She turns and I can hear her grabbing her things from the living room. I grab Karson out of his bed and he groans in pain.
“I’m so sorry, buddy. I’m here. Let’s get you to the doctor,” I whisper to him.
Going as careful as I can, I leave his room and make my way to the front door Santana’s holding open. Once I’m through it, she shuts and locks it before rushing ahead of me to the car. It’s already unlocked, but she opens the door to the backseat so I can climb in with Karson in my lap. There’s no way in hell I’m letting him go.
Santana closes the door behind me and races to the front of the car to get in the driver’s seat. She doesn’t take time to fasten her seatbelt or anything else as she backs the car out of my makeshift driveway and pulls out toward the hospital. I swear she breaks every law to get us there as quickly as she possibly can.
My attention never once leaves Karson. He gets sick twice in the car. Thankfully Santana has a bag back here for garbage I now need to get rid of. He’s crying and holding his stomach the best he can. The entire time, I’m stroking his hair and trying to comfort him the best I can without knowing what’s wrong with him. This isn’t like a flu or anything because we’ve been through that before. He’s too hot and in too much pain for this to be a flu.
“We’re here,” Santana finally says.
She parks the car right in front of the emergency room doors and leaves it there. Santana runs around to my side of the car and opens the door from me. I hand her the bag and get out with Karson in my arms still. He’s clutching his stomach in one hand and his blanket in the other. We race inside the hospital and I start yelling for help.
“What’s going on?” a nurse asks, coming from the back.
“He needs help. He’s got a fever, he’s throwing up, he’s in so much pain,” I rattle off what I know.
“Follow me,” the nurse immediately says.
Santana grabs the paperwork needed from the desk and takes a seat in one of the waiting room chairs while I follow the nurse. She leads me to a room and I lay Karson on the gurney. Against the white sheets, he looks even paler than I originally thought. And he looks so small as the nurse begins to take his vitals.
Before I know it, a doctor is in the room and he’s talking all sorts of medical jargon I don’t understand. It’s like I’m sitting in another world as my brother is laying there in pain and I can’t do anything to help him.
I watch as they start an IV and give him something for the pain. Karson doesn’t stop crying at all. It hurts so much to see him going through this that I start crying along with him. The doctor orders tests and I go out to the waiting room to let Santana know what’s going on. I’m sure she’s going crazy. And, it’s time for her to go home. She doesn’t need to wait here with us when I have no clue how long we’re going to be here.
“What’s going on?” she asks as soon as I’m through the door separating her from us.
“I don’t know yet. They just took him down for tests and I couldn’t go with him. They’ve given him pain medicine and started an IV. He’s still crying and throwing up despite the meds he’s had. I think they gave him something to try to stop him from throwing up but it doesn’t seem to be working,” I tell her.
“I’m so sorry. I should’ve done something more to get a hold of you. Tomor
row you’ll have a cell phone and I don’t want to hear shit about it,” she tells me.
I simply nod and sit down next to her. Suddenly I feel drained as fuck and like the weight of the world is sitting on my shoulders. My eyes start shutting on their own and I’m ready for the oblivion to take me away from everything bad happening right now. But I can’t give in. Not when I don’t know what’s wrong with Karson or what they’re going to need to do to him. I’m so scared right now. I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared in my entire life.
A nurse calls me back and I tell my friend to go home and get some rest. She refuses to go and I offer a small smile in her direction as I make my way back to the room we’ve been in. Karson is still crying and he looks so damn tired. I want to hold him and take his pain away but I can’t. Right now he can’t stand anyone touching him so it’s been rough with them having to do tests and things to him.
After a while the doctor comes back in. He’s looking over something in his hands and I can’t get a read on his face. I hate this shit.
“Ma’am, Karson is going to have to have surgery. He’s got appendicitis and we need to get it taken care of immediately,” he informs me. “I’ve already contacted the surgeon and he should be here within ten minutes. For now, we’re going to get him ready for surgery. Do you have any questions?”
“Is he going to be okay?” I ask, hating that he has to have surgery. “Is there something I could have done to prevent this?”
“No, you did everything right. You got him here as soon as possible. He should be fine. I believe the history you’ve been telling us about has to do with his appendix. Do you have someone to wait with you when we take him back?” he asks.
“Um, I’m not sure if my friend is still here or not,” I reply.
He nods and the nurse shuffles in the room again. I’m not sure what she’s doing, but Karson doesn’t take his eyes off me as she takes his shirt off his little body. Since he’s wearing a button up shirt, it doesn’t truly mess with anything until she gets to the arm where the IV is. I watch as she unhooks it and then removes the shirt from his small body. Karson immediately begins to shake with the coldness of the air surrounding his overheated body.
Once the IV is hooked back up, she covers him with a heated blanket, makes sure the fluid is running the way it should be, and smiles at me. Before long enough, they’re taking Karson to the operating room. I give him a hug and kiss before I’m being led to a different waiting room. I have no clue what time it is or anything else right now. Karson is the only thing on my mind as I walk in and see Santana waiting for me already.
“Syd, are you okay?” she asks, rushing to pull me into her arms.
“I don’t know. I’m doing the best I can right now,” I answer. “I won’t be okay until I know he’s okay and everything is better.”
“I know, babe,” she tells me, leading me to the sofa in the middle of the room.
It’s the middle of the night by the time Karson gets led to his room. He’s still out of it and I’m honestly happy about it. It means he’s not in pain right now and he’s getting the rest he needs to heal. The doctor told me everything went as good as it could and he should make a full recovery. I cried on Santana’s shoulder as she stayed with me the entire time.
She was allowed in to see Karson for a minute before she had to head home. I’m lucky I was allowed to stay here because I’m his guardian. Not that I would’ve let them kick me out of the damn place to begin with. Karson is my reason to live and breathe and he’s not going to be let out of my sights for a while after this. I don’t ever want to go through something like this again in my life.
There’s so much I have to do, but right now, the only thing I want to do is curl up in the uncomfortable as hell chair by Karson’s bed and go to sleep. The nurse on this floor brought me some blankets and a cup of coffee that doesn’t taste like ass. I drank the coffee and still passed out almost immediately, Karson’s little hand in mine as I fall into a restless sleep.
Chapter Nine
Sydney a.k.a Delight
WAKING UP IN the chair by Karson’s bed, I see his little eyes looking at me. They still aren’t focused and I’m not sure if it’s from everything he had since coming in the hospital or if he’s just waking up himself. He’s not crying and I’m going to take that as a good sign. I don’t ever want to see my little man the way he was yesterday. I’ve never felt so hopeless or like I’ve failed as I did then.
Tears threaten to spill over my lashes. I could have lost Karson if we hadn’t gotten him here in time. Or he could’ve been much worse off if it had ruptured before they got him into surgery. He’s got several small scars and will have to have the stitches checked on until they dissolve. I think that’s what they said anyway. I’m so tired, I can’t remember a damn thing they told me after saying Karson was going to be okay. Again, I feel like a failure.
“Good morning, little man,” I tell him, showing him a smile.
Karson gives me a small smile. As usual, he’s not saying much. I keep my eyes on him as I look at the clock on the wall and realize I need to call Heaven somehow and let her know I won’t be in right away. I’m more than likely going to lose my job over this, but Karson has to come first. I already know we’ll be in here for a day or two before they let him go home. Until he’s home and back on his feet, I’m not going to work. Santana already feels horrible and I won’t let her take the blame for this. It’s not her fault.
The nurse comes in and lets me know they’ve got him on medicine to help with the pain for now. It’s only Tylenol and it seems to be helping him for now. I’ll just keep an eye on him and make sure if I think it’s getting too bad to alert the nurse. I’ve never seen anyone go through this so I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or think right now. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’m exhausted and barely able to function right now.
A nurse brings in a tray with eggs, toast, and apple juice on it. I open everything up and help Karson eat. After a few bites, he stops eating and closes his eyes. Santana comes in the room with a bag just after Karson falls back asleep. I’m sitting in the chair, holding his hand as she walks in.
“How’s he doing?” she asks, keeping her normally bubbly voice quiet.
“Okay. He ate a few bites before falling back asleep. I think that’s what he’s going to be doing for the next few days,” I answer.
“Probably. I brought you some things over, including the papers you brought from the club. I think there’s a number on there you can try calling and see if someone answers,” she tells me handing me the bag. “Syd, I’m so sorry. If I had been thinking clearly and thought, I would’ve found them yesterday.”
“Santana, it’s not your fault. Neither one of us knew what the hell was going on or what to do,” I tell her.
Going through the bag, I find the papers and look for the number to Legacies. Once I have it, Santana hands me over a cell phone and tells me it’s mine. She’s written down the number for it and hands it to me too.
“Would you mind sitting with him so I can go call Heaven?” I ask my best friend.
“Not at all. Go handle your business and we’ll be here when you get back,” she says.
Walking out of the room, I head down the hall and out the door leading to the back of the hospital. No one is out here as I spot a bench and walk over to sit down on it. As soon as I sit down, I release the breath I’ve been holding and wait to find out I’m fired before I even got paid or a chance to perform.
I dial the number to the club and it rings several times before someone picks up.
“Legacies, how can I help you?” a male asks.
“Um, It’s Sydney. I’m looking for Heaven,” I tell whoever answered the phone.
“Syd, hey. It’s Colt. She’s here. Hang on just a second,” Colt responds.
After a minute, Heaven gets on the phone.
“Sydney, what’s going on?” she asks, her voice light and cheery.
“Well, um, I’m a
fraid I’m not going to be able to make it in today. Or for the next few days. We had to rush Karson to the hospital last night and he was taken into emergency surgery for appendicitis. I’m so sorry and I understand if I lose my job. I’ll be in to collect my things as soon as he gets released from the hospital,” I tell her, the first tears slipping from my eyes and racing down my face.
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry to hear that. Is he okay?” she asks.
“He’s going to be just fine now. As long as he doesn’t get an infection of some sort,” I babble out through my tears. “We’ll be here for today and probably tomorrow before they send him home.”
“Okay. What can I do to help?” she asks.
“Oh, there’s nothing. But thank you. Can you please let Tonya and Blood know I appreciate the chance to work at the club? And thank you for being such a good friend and working with me the last two days,” I tell her.
“Sydney, you’re not going to lose your job over this. Trust me, we all understand about sickness in our families. What I’m going to do is explain everything to Tonya and Tonya alone. She’ll keep it to herself and won’t let the guys know what’s going on; it’s none of their damn business. We’ll just get back to work when you feel good enough to leave Karson with your friend,” Heaven tells me.
The tears come faster and sobs wrack my body at her words. I feel like I can’t catch my breath and my heart is racing. I can’t focus on anything she’s saying to me through the phone either. What the fuck is happening to me?
“Sydney! Sydney, you need to take a deep breath and calm yourself down,” Heaven says and finally breaks through to me.
I try taking a deep breath and hold it for a second before letting it out slowly. It seems to be helping as I repeat the process several times. After more than a few minutes, I can finally breathe again and it doesn’t feel as if I’m caving in on myself.