Set Desire

by April Fire

My dad loved to keep me on the phone when he was missing me, which was most of the time, and when I finally managed to get him to stop and say goodbye I was running late. He had called me just as I was about to head over to Dean’s. I couldn’t ignore him because I knew his first call would be to my agent, and it wouldn’t take her too long to sniff me out at Dean’s. The last thing I wanted was for her to know that I was helping him, even if it did help me too. I could imagine her angry voice now, “Why the hell are you helping that idiot?”

  I grabbed my keys from the counter, shoved my phone into the back pocket of my jeans and slipped out the door. I ran down the hall and hoped in the elevator, pressing the button for the floor just shy of the penthouse.

  I could feel my heart beat faster as the elevator rose to Dean’s floor. I shouldn’t be this nervous for a rehearsal. The elevator seemed to take forever.

  When the door opened, I took a deep breath and stepped out - I froze. Standing outside of Dean’s room was one of the most stunning women I had ever seen. It was Marie Kimmer, I recognized her from the many fashion covers she’d been on, and all the paparazzi shots on Dean’s arm. What the fuck is she doing here?

  “Hey Julia.” The bitch said.

  “Oh, erm…” I wasn’t sure what to say. I hadn’t thought a woman like her would know who I was. “Hey… Miss Kimmer?”

  “Please, call me Marie,” she told me as she held out a hand to shake my own. I hesitated for a moment before taking hold of her hand. I suppose there was nothing wrong with making the acquaintance of somebody else in Hollywood, “Do you need Dean for something? Because I was kind of hoping to keep him busy tonight - if you know what I mean…”

  She winked at me, and I felt my stomach churn. The thought that he would do with her what he had done with me made me feel nauseous. Sure, she had probably been there long before I had, but the thought that he might sleep with her so soon after sleeping with me made me feel cheap and nasty. I suppose I should have guessed it. He was the kind of man who could sleep with a different woman every night and feel no guilt over any of it.

  It was in that moment that the doubts I’d been having about whole thing were finally tipped over the edge. Dean didn’t really need my help and I was sure he would much rather be having fun with this drop-dead gorgeous cover girl than spending time running lines with little old me. I wasn’t going to be accused of getting in the way of whatever this was.

  “Oh, it’s nothing important,” I told her. That’s when a thought came into my mind, and I found myself saying it out loud, “Was he expecting you tonight?”

  “Oh, of course he was!” Marie laughed and chuckled, as though she found my question amusing. My mind was made up then. If Dean had set plans with her, he’d clearly forgotten about reading lines with me. I’d been feeling nervous all day over nothing because he didn’t have any intention of going through with any of it. I should have known.

  “He’s all yours, then,” I gestured towards the door and stepped back towards the elevator, “Enjoy your evening.”

  Though I said the words with the utmost sincerity I couldn’t help but feel sick to my stomach. The thought of what they would soon be getting up to behind that door made me want to scream, even though I had no claim to Dean and I never would. What we had done had been a mistake. We both knew that. Yet I couldn’t help but feel as though it had been something more than that.

  There was nothing I could do about it now. Marie stepped up to the door before I could change my mind, and I slipped into the elevator to avoid being seen as she knocked. The last thing I needed was to get between these two. That would be one awkward situation.

  I exited only one floor below and headed towards the stairs. I needed some time to clear my head, and there was nothing like a little cardio to calm a racing mind. I stared at my feet as I took each downward step, slowly putting that much more distance between me and whatever the hell Dean was getting up to in that room. I was feeling more than a little put out. I had been nervous and even a little excited for tonight, but the minute I’d seen Marie I knew that I was better off without any of this mess. Dean could figure his own way out of our situation and I would just continue doing what I was doing. He was the one with the problem, not me.

  ***

  Chapter Eighteen

  Dean

  I had been waiting for an hour, growing more and more frustrated that Julia hadn’t turned up, when my phone began to ring. For a moment I was hopeful that it was her calling to apologize for standing me up. Maybe she’d had a family emergency, maybe she hadn’t had the time to call, maybe … fuck.

  When I looked at my phone my heart sank, it wasn’t Julia - it was Eddie. For a moment I thought of ignoring him. I knew if I answered he’d surely insist on dragging me out to a club or some other nonsense. If I went out then there was no chance of me catching Julia - if she ever showed up. Yet, I was pretty sure that after waiting an hour - she wasn’t turning up at all. She had stood me up.

  With a sigh, I picked up the phone and answered dully, “Hey.”

  “Hey brother, what the hell’s wrong with you?” he had heard my tone instantly. I could hear the concern in his voice, “Marie still giving you trouble?”

  “Don’t mention her name to me,” I sighed, “I don’t want anything to do with her.”

  “I’ll take that as a yes then,” Eddie laughed. “Come out with me. Forget your troubles for a bit.”

  “I guess it’s better than sitting here alone feeling sorry for myself,” I shrugged with a sigh and I heard Eddie clap on the other end of the phone.

  “Brilliant! I’ll meet you at the club in an hour,” he told me, “Don’t be late or drinks are on you all night!”

  “I always end up buying all the drinks anyway,” I reminded him. I couldn’t remember the last time Eddie had pulled his wallet out of his pocket to pay for anything, unless he was impressing a lady.

  “And that’s why you’re my best friend,” Eddie laughed.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I laughed, “I’ll see you at the club.”

  ***

  The club was exactly as it always was - crowded, with people busy drinking, gyrating, and talking loudly. The sexual tension in the club was at an all-time high, and I could feel several women watching me from a distance. At one point I was almost sure there were a couple of men eyeing me up too, but that wasn’t something I would ever be interested in, even if I couldn’t get my hands on the woman I wanted.

  I was used to all the attention, so I easily melted into the act of pretending to have fun with all the women who threw themselves at us. Eddie looked as though he was having a magnificent time, and I wasn’t about to bring my best friend down by showing him what a miserable mood I was actually in.

  “Hey handsome,” an attractive woman slipped onto my knee as I sat in a padded arm chair close to the VIP section, “How ‘bout we dance…”

  A large part of me wanted to turn her down, but when I saw Eddie over her shoulder, nodding and gesturing me towards the dance floor, I sighed and pushed myself to my feet.

  “Sounds good to me,” I lied, and took hold of her hand. Playing the part might get me out of there a little quicker.

  We danced amongst the throbbing crowd, grinding on each other as though we couldn’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off. There was a time when I would have simply taken this woman back to my room and made her feel as though I was making sweet sweet love to her - as though she was the only woman in the world I cared about, at least for the night.

  When she pressed her lips against my own all I wanted to do was pull away from her, and tell her to leave me alone. I struggled not to shove her away too harshly as I unwrapped her hands from behind my neck and placed them at her sides, “Thanks for the dance, but I think I’m gonna get out of here.”

  “So soon? We were just getting started!” she shouted over the music and began to pout, as though she was not pleased at my sudden change of heart. What she didn’t know was that I had never had any intention
s of giving her what she wanted. “I could come with you if you like?”

  “You’d be better off finding somebody else to go home with,” I shook my head, “I won’t be any fun for you tonight.”

  “Oh really?” she sidled up to me and stroked her red fingernail over my chest, “We could have a lot of fun tonight, if you just give it a chance. I’ll show you the time of your life.”

  My stomach churned at the way she looked at me - as though she wanted to jump on me right there and then. An image of Julia’s face flashed into my mind - I had to see her.

  “I’m sorry,” I stepped away from her, “I can’t do this.”

  I turned and began to run towards the exit.

  “Hey man!”

  “Watch it!”

  Several people yelled at me as I shoved my way through the crowd, not caring who I had to force out of my way to get out of there. All I wanted to do was get back to the hotel and hopefully find Julia and find out what the hell was going on. She’d been playing on my mind all night. Where was she? Why hadn’t she turned up? Why did she stand me up? The questions had been whirling around and around and around in my head until I was dizzy with them, and I couldn’t stand it any longer.

  I’d had a little too much to drink, and stumbled down the sidewalk towards a taxi stand. It didn’t take me long to find my way to a cab, and soon, I was on my way back, on my way to her.

  “Hey man! Where the hell are you going?” I heard Eddie call from the doorway of the club, as though my dance partner had alerted him to my sudden flight, as I slipped into the cab. I didn’t bother to answer him. I could explain to him where I was going in the morning. He’d surely head back into the club and pick up where I left off, no doubt thanking me for leaving such a beautiful woman behind for him to pick up.

  “Drive!” I told the driver and he kicked the cab into gear.

  ***

  Chapter Nineteen

  Julia

  There was nothing left for me to do but binge watch the latest season of my favorite television show. My night had cleared up the minute I’d met Marie in front of Dean’s door, and to be honest, I was more than a little relieved. I had no idea what might have happened if I’d gone into that room. Something told me we wouldn’t have been going over the script for very long.

  I had just poured myself a second glass of wine and was reclining on the sofa when I heard a loud knocking on my door. The sound caused me to jump, and I spilled red wine down the front of my white blouse. Cursing whoever was at the door at this late hour, I put my glass down on the coffee table and pushed myself up, grabbing a small towel on my way to the door.

  “Who is it?” I called out. It was late and I wasn’t expecting anybody. I’d be a fool to simply unlock the door and invite in whoever it was.

  “It’s me!” a familiar voice hit my ears, and for a moment, I thought of ignoring him, “Come on! Open up! Please…”

  I could hear the desperation in his voice, it was more honest than anything I’d seen from him on screen. I unlatched the deadbolt and pulled the door open.“What the hell do you want. Hollywood?”

  “Please don’t call me that,” Dean shook his head at me as he forced his way into my room and I practically stumbled over trying to get out of his way.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I demanded, “Get out of here!”

  “Not until you explain yourself!” Dean demanded as he began to walk up and down the length of the room, pacing as though he couldn’t stand still. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at me and I was suddenly fearful. It was clear that he was angry. “Why didn’t you come tonight?”

  “How was your night with Marie? Did she show you a good time?” I asked him in a scathing tone. He had no right to judge me for standing him up when he had obviously come from being with her. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and see the lipstick on his collar.

  Dean stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at me, “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Don’t act like you don’t know!” I hissed at him, “I saw Marie when I was on my way to your room. I know you were just with her!”

  Dean’s face fell and he ran his fingers through his hair seeming more than a little frustrated. He tugged on the roots as though the pain would bring him back down to earth.

  “I can’t believe this,” he shook his head, “You didn’t turn up because of her! Because of that bitch! What did she say to you?”

  “Why don’t you ask her yourself?” I demanded, “You’ve clearly had your fun with her.”

  I pointed at the lipstick on his collar, and when he looked down at it, his eyes widened.

  “Julia, this isn’t what it looks like,” he shook his head, “I wasn’t with Marie.”

  I froze and stared at him. The sincerity in his voice left little doubt that he might be lying to me. I gazed into his eyes, hoping I might see some hint that he wasn’t telling me the truth. That would make it a lot easier for me to stay angry with him, to keep him at arm’s length.

  “She practically told me you had invited her over for drinks and a good time,” I told him as I crossed my arms over my chest. I wasn’t going to fall for this. He had to be lying to me, “Did you do something to piss her off and she left? Is that why you’re here? Because you can’t stand the thought of being alone?”

  “I’d rather be alone than spend a second in that woman’s company,” Dean stepped forward and all I could do was step away from him to stop him from touching me. All too late I realized that there was nowhere for me to go. I found myself pressed up against the edge of a table, my buttocks bouncing against the surface. “When you didn’t turn up, I went out with Eddie. I’ll admit, I danced with a woman. That’s where this lipstick came from, but I didn’t do anything with her and it felt completely wrong. That’s why I’m here now.”

  Before I had the chance to say anything, Dean’s hand came up to press against my cheek, and I found myself holding my breath as I felt him leaning in towards me. I couldn’t bring myself to shove him away and there was nowhere for me to move away from him.

  His lips came down on my own, and for a moment, I was paralyzed. Then, I began to kiss him back. My hands came up to cup his face and I held him to me, scared that he might suddenly change his mind and try to pull away.

  When he did, it was only to rest his forehead against my own, “I can’t get you out of my head, Julia.”

  Those words made my heart dance with delight. The truth was that I had been feeling the same way. Ever since the last time we had spoken at the premiere, all I had been able to think about was him and our plans to rehearse together.

  “This can’t happen again,” I told him with a shake of my head, and finally, I said, “I won’t be just another woman you sleep with and use until you’re bored and move on.”

  I turned away from him, feeling tears begin to brim in my eyes. I couldn’t stand the thought of him walking away from me, but I also couldn’t stand the thought of being used by him either. It was better for me to hurt now rather than later.

  “Julia, that’s not at all what I want,” Dean insisted, and when I felt his hands on my hips, I so desperately wanted to turn to him and let him hold me.

  “You should leave,” I told him, unable to look him in the eye. I turned my gaze away from him and forced his hands away from my hips.

  “Julia, I am not going any…” he began, but I cut him off with a shake of my head.

  “Dean, I can’t do this,” I shook my head, “You’re drunk. Just go and sleep it off. This is clearly the alcohol talking.”

  “And what if I come back in the morning and tell you exactly the same thing? What if I come back here and tell you that I can’t stop thinking about you, and all I want to do is kiss you, and hold you, and tell you that it doesn’t matter what happens on set - as long as I can have you in my life?”

  Dean’s words shocked me to my core, but still, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I had to continue to believe that it
was just the alcohol talking. I could smell it all over him, and the lipstick that so clearly stained his collar wasn’t helping either. I couldn’t be near a man who’d obviously been with another woman, even if they had only been dancing.

  “Just go,” I told him again. I couldn’t let this go any further than it already had, even if I so desperately wanted it to. “Please, just go.”

  ***

  Chapter Twenty

  Dean

  The way that Julia had begged me out of her room haunted me all night as I tossed and turned. All I had wanted to do was take her in my arms and hold her until she believed that I was telling her the truth. I wanted to be with her again. I wanted to be with her that night, and the night after that, and possibly every night after, but she couldn’t see that, not while I was drunk and stained with the marks of another woman. As the drunken haze evaporated from my head I began to realize why she had forced me away. I had been stupid to go to her in such a state. I had to prove myself to her another way.

  As I laid in bed early that morning, with the first light of dawn filtering through the crack in the curtains, I knew that I would have to do whatever it took to get Julia to listen to me. I had to have her again, no matter what it took. My fingers still tingled with the sensation of feeling her bare skin beneath my fingertips, and I knew that I needed to feel that again, over and over and over again.

  Whenever I managed to drift into sleep I could feel her beside me. I could touch her skin, and taste her lips, and be inside her. But when my restless mind awoke me again I would realize that I was alone in bed, reaching for the emptiness beside me, and feeling the disappointment of not being able to hold her close. Had I been a lesser man I might have wept, but I was stronger than that, and I was determined. I would have her with me again, if it was the last thing I did.

  It was with that determination that I eventually clambered out of bed, showered and dressed, ready for work. I was going to have to meet Julia on set this morning and pretend, for the eyes of everybody else, that nothing was going on between us. I found myself praying that it didn’t make things in front of the camera even more awkward.