Illusions of Love

by Michelle Betham

  India sat cross-legged on the bed in Kenny’s apartment on the top floor of The Amber Palace, tears she’d thought she’d wanted to cry still welling up behind her eyes but she was refusing to let them fall. She was still too angry, too confused, and she wanted to stay strong not break down like the weak person she could sometimes be. This time she wanted to stay strong.

  Kenny sat down next to her, handing her a glass of brandy which she downed in one.

  ‘Why couldn’t I see it in his eyes, Kenny? I mean, they’re Michael’s eyes… they’re Ethan’s eyes…’ India stared at Kenny, a look of realisation suddenly passing across her face. ‘Dominic he… he’s Ethan’s half-brother, Kenny. Could this get any more fucking complicated? The man I’ve been sleeping with is not only my ex-husband’s son, he’s also my own son’s half-brother! Why the fuck is my life always like a bloody movie script? Huh? Why? Why can’t anything just be bloody simple?’

  Kenny wished he could tell her why, he really could. But even he couldn’t have seen this one coming. Dominic MacDonald, the long-lost son of Michael Walsh – who the hell would have ever thought that? Certainly not him. Out of everything he could ever have envisaged happening that hadn’t even come close to anything he’d imagined.

  ‘Did you tell him.. ?’

  ‘Did I tell him what?’ India asked, pulling her knees up to her chest, hugging them against her. ‘That I loved him too? No. I didn’t.’

  Kenny looked at her, at the way she seemed to drift off into the distance, the way her eyes clouded over. She might not have told Dominic anything, but it was more than obvious to Kenny that she felt something.

  ‘You can’t avoid him, you know. You can’t avoid either of them, seeing as you’re in the middle of shooting this movie.’

  ‘Yeah, I’m very much aware of that, Kenny, thanks.’ She sighed, pushing a hand through her hair, flinging herself backwards onto the bed, throwing her arms up above her head. ‘What a fucking mess! Sorry, make that what another fucking mess!’

  He lay down beside her, resting up on one elbow as she turned on her side to face him.

  ‘How do I do it, huh? How do I always get myself into these situations? My dad’s going to go fucking crazy when he finds out.’

  ‘Well, knowing Reece, yeah. He probably will.’

  She couldn’t help smiling. ‘Shit! What am I gonna do, Kenny? You’re right, I can’t hide out up here forever, but I just want to get away, y’know? For a little while. A few days away from the press party that’s gonna kick off big time when they get wind of this little gem of a story.’ She let out another loud sigh, falling over onto her back again, closing her eyes. ‘I need to get out of here, Kenny.’

  He looked at her, pushing her hair from her eyes as he stared down into them. ‘How about I try and take your mind off things for a little while, huh?’ he asked, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth; a smile that was infectious because India couldn’t help breaking into one too.

  ‘And how do you plan to do that then?’

  He cocked his head to one side, his smile getting wider. ‘Remember the old days? Back in the very beginning? When we were the very best of friends – with benefits?’

  ‘Benefits, huh?’

  She knew what he was talking about, of course she did. Back when she’d first arrived in L.A., a naive and shy twenty-two-year-old, she and Kenny had hit it off immediately, forming a bond within seconds of meeting that had lasted a lifetime and created one of the most important relationships in India’s life. But, in the beginning – despite what everyone else had thought at the time – they really had been nothing but best friends. For a few months. Until the night of her very first movie premiere when they’d crossed a line that had taken their friendship to another level. Friends with benefits. Sex whenever they wanted or needed it but with no strings attached and no commitments. And it had worked. Even after their brief spur-of-the-moment and extremely short marriage had ended, running to each other for a dose of nothing but no-hassle sex had always been a regular thing. It had never gone away – that need. Not really. It had caused problems over the years, of course it had, when that line between friends and lovers had sometimes become blurred. But the need to know they were always there for each other had never gone away. Although India had never thought of Kenny in that way for a long time now.

  ‘Benefits,’ he whispered, moving his face closer to hers, and she didn’t move. Didn’t make any attempt to pull away from him.

  She smiled, reaching out to touch his cheek, stroking it gently, looking into those deep, dark eyes of his. ‘No, Kenny. I mean, sex it… it always gets in the way, doesn’t it? Messes things up, blurs those lines, so… I don’t think it’s a good idea. Not anymore.’

  Not anymore. He felt a brief stab of disappointment followed by the rational part of his brain telling him she was right. Maybe those days were over now. Maybe it was finally time to draw a line under everything they’d used to do that had only succeeded in complicating everything ten-fold. Maybe it was finally time to grow up and handle these things like adults instead of hiding behind sex as a way of coping with the crap the world sometimes flung at you.

  ‘I don’t want anything to ruin things between me and you, Kenny. I really don’t want that to happen because I love you, okay? I love you so much, you’re so important to me, you have no idea, but… my head’s all over the place right now. And all I really need is my best friend. I really need you.’

  He smiled, wrapping his fingers around hers, squeezing her hand tight. ‘And you’ve got me, baby. You’ve always got me; I’ll always be there for you, no matter what. You know that.’

  She reached out to stroke his cheek again, leaning forward to kiss him quickly. She really did love this man. She loved him in a way she’d never really loved anyone else before. And in the past this situation would probably have turned into one of those times when she would have quite happily slept with him just to get back at someone else who’d hurt her, after all, she owed Dominic nothing. Not after what he’d done. But not this time. Not anymore. She could handle this without acting like some petulant teenager. She just wanted to forget. She wanted to forget everything she’d ever started to feel for Dominic because thinking about him hurt too much, and she really didn’t want to go there right now. But things were different, times had changed. The past was the past and it wasn’t fair on Kenny, using him as a way for her to get some sort of ridiculous revenge on another man who’d lied to her, even if Kenny always did know the score. It still wasn’t fair. She had to grow up, start acting like an adult and deal with this new dose of crap that life had dealt her, instead of burying her head in the sand and trying to forget it had ever happened. Because it wasn’t going to go away.

  ‘I meant it when I said I wanted to get away from here for a while, Kenny. My head’s a mess, and when the media get a hold of this… I’m just not ready to deal with it. Not yet.’

  ‘You’ll have to at some point, India.’

  ‘Yeah, I know. But I don’t have to do it right now, do I?’ She sat up, crossing her legs up underneath her, looking at Kenny. ‘Let’s go back to L.A. Just me and you. Let’s get out of here, just for a couple of days. Let’s go back to Malibu, hang out at the beach house.’

  ‘Is that what you really want?’ he asked, sitting up too, pushing a hand through his dark hair.

  ‘Well, I don’t want to be here, in the middle of yet another media frenzy detailing another fucking complication in the life of India Walsh, I know that much. I want some me time, Kenny. Some us time.’

  He smiled. He certainly wasn’t going to argue with that idea. ‘Yeah, okay. I can do that.’

  ‘You can do that?’ she laughed, raising an eyebrow.

  ‘Okay,’ he laughed too. ‘I’d love to do that. Just me and you, together, on the beach. Us time.’

  ‘Us time,’ she grinned, a ridiculous feeling of happiness taking over, despite the monumental mess that was now going to unfold. A mess she knew she’d have to
face at some point. She just hoped that a couple of days back home in Malibu would get her head straight enough to enable her to deal with it a lot better than she knew she’d be able to deal with it right now.

  Suddenly, a barrage of sharp knocks at the door caused both India and Kenny to jump, India’s heart almost leaping into her throat because she was certain that knock could only belong to one of two people who were desperate to talk to her right now – Michael or Dominic. And she wasn’t really in the mood to see either of them just yet.

  ‘India? India, honey, it’s Dominic. Baby, come on, I need to speak to you. I need to explain.’

  India didn’t move; she stayed right where she was, saying nothing.

  Kenny looked at her. ‘Do you want to speak to him?’ he asked.

  She got up off the bed, walking over to the huge picture window in the bedroom, looking out at the lights of Las Vegas, not really knowing whether she wanted to face Dominic or not. Maybe it was too soon.

  ‘India? I can tell him to go, kiddo. If you’re not ready…’

  She turned round and shook her head, folding her arms. ‘No. Let him in. I’ve got to face him sometime, haven’t I? And I doubt he’s going to go away quietly so, I might as well hear what he has to say.’

  Kenny gave her a reassuring smile before making his way out of the bedroom to the front door, Dominic pushing his way in before Kenny had even had a chance to open it properly.

  ‘Yeah, come in, why don’t you?’ Kenny muttered under his breath, following Dominic into the bedroom.

  India stood by the bed, arms still folded against her in an almost defensive manner, watching Dominic as he looked from her to Kenny. ‘What the hell’s been going on here?’

  That question alone was enough to make India give one big cynical laugh. ‘Oh, so all of sudden you’re interested in the truth?’

  ‘Have you just slept with him?’ Dominic stared straight at her, then over at Kenny, before fixing India with another stare. ‘Well? Have you?’

  ‘That hasn’t really got anything to do with you, has it, Dominic?’

  ‘The hell it has! I’m your fucking boyfriend!’

  She let out another cynical laugh, pushing a hand through her long blond hair. ‘No. No, that’s where you’re wrong. You’re nothing to me now. Okay? You’re nothing.’

  ‘Shit! India, come on. How can you say that? You can’t just switch your feelings off like that, you can’t do that.’

  ‘Can’t I? Jesus, Dominic, you’re Michael Walsh’s son…’

  ‘And that is not my fault.’

  ‘You should’ve told me.’

  Dominic looked down at the ground for a second, then back up at Kenny who was now leaning against the wall, watching everything carefully. ‘Can we have some privacy here?’

  ‘This is my apartment,’ Kenny replied, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, looking right into Dominic’s eyes. Then he turned his attention to India. ‘Do you want me to stay?’

  She looked at him, sorry that their little bubble had burst so quickly because she’d been enjoying it in there. ‘No. It’s okay. I’ll be okay.’

  ‘You sure?’

  ‘Of course she’s gonna be fucking okay. What do you think I’m gonna do to her?’

  Kenny stared at Dominic again, but said nothing. He just walked over to India, pulling her into his arms and she held onto him, letting him hug her, holding onto him for those few seconds longer.

  ‘I’ll go check on Ethan, alright?’

  She nodded, smiling up at him, gently stroking his cheek with her fingers. ‘I really did mean what I said before, y’know. About us getting away from here for a while.’

  ‘I know you did.’

  ‘I know I’m a pain in the arse sometimes, Kenny, but…’

  He smiled. ‘Yeah, you are. But you’re a beautiful pain in the ass so I’ll forgive you. I’ll be back soon, okay?’

  She nodded, letting him go, watching him walk out the door before she turned back to a bemused Dominic.

  ‘What the fuck is it with you two? I mean, what the hell was that?’

  She sat down on the edge of the bed, not really in the mood for this discussion. ‘He’s my friend.’

  ‘Oh, don’t give me that “best friends” bullshit again, India. Have you fucked him? Only, I know your track record where Kenny Ross is concerned…’

  She looked up at him, keeping her voice calm and steady. ‘No. I haven’t, okay? I haven’t slept with him. Jesus, what the hell kind of person do you think I am? Because I’m really in the mood, aren’t I? I’ve just found out that my ex-husband has a secret son, who just happens to be the man I’ve been sleeping with and, guess what? Both the bastard’s have been lying to me.’

  ‘Shit!’ Dominic turned away for a second, his head spinning with all the crap that had now hit the fan.

  Back downstairs the press had, of course, got wind of the whole Michael Walsh/Dominic MacDonald father/son connection – how could they not? They were professionals, they could sniff out a story a mile away and they’d just given them gossip gold on a plate.

  Things had gotten crazy very quickly once India had left the club, and the way she’d left, holding onto Kenny Ross – the man who always seemed to be there for her when something kicked off – that was the real reason people had noticed something was going on. That had been the catalyst that had started the press attention.

  Photographers and journalists had surrounded both Michael and Dominic, desperate to speak to them both, desperate to get out of them some idea of what was going on whilst Vince had frantically tried to organise security and some kind of order to an increasingly out-of-control situation. A situation that Dominic had somehow managed to escape from, leaving Michael to handle it all, which was no less than he deserved in Dominic’s eyes. Neither of them had really thought this through, but bringing it up like he had, well, that hadn’t been the wisest move on Michael’s part. And now this town was going to be crawling with more media than Vegas had ever seen. All eyes on them.

  India stood up, running her fingers through her hair and Dominic felt his stomach lurch. She was the most beautiful, most mixed-up, complicated woman he’d ever met, and he wanted her so much it hurt like hell.

  ‘I need to explain things, India.’ His voice was quieter now. Calmer. He shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions about her and Kenny, but given their past, and the way he wasn’t exactly thinking rationally right now, he’d just assumed. Wrongly.

  ‘I don’t want to hear it.’ India pushed past him but he grabbed her arm, swinging her round to look at him.

  ‘What did you mean when you said you wanted to get away from here for a while?’

  ‘Exactly that, Dominic. I want to get away from here. Which part of that don’t you understand?’

  ‘With Kenny?’

  ‘Yes, with Kenny. He’s my…’

  ‘Best friend, yeah, I get that. But why Kenny? Why can’t we go away together, you and me, talk this whole mess out…’

  ‘Because I don’t want to go away with you, Dominic. Don’t you get it? You and Michael… you need to sort things out with him, not me. He’s your father, for Christ’s sake!’

  ‘And you know nothing of the circumstances, India. You know nothing about any of this, nothing about why I had to do what I did…’

  She looked at him again, into the eyes of a man who, all of a sudden, reminded her too much of a man she’d tried so hard to forget. ‘I don’t want to understand, Dominic. I want…’

  ‘To run away. You want to run away from the situation, but you can’t run away from this, India.’

  She pulled her arm away from his grip and walked out of the bedroom, into the living room, opening the French doors that led out onto the terrace. She stared out at the view of the city that stretched before her; a city she loved, but a city that always seemed to bring complications and heartache to her life in equal measures every time she was here. ‘How long has Michael known about this?’ she asked, because she kn
ew Dominic would’ve followed her outside.

  ‘I don’t know.’ He stood by the open French doors, leaning against the doorpost and India turned around, staring at him for a few seconds, trying to see if there was anything in his handsome face that reminded her of Michael, other than those incredible blue eyes. But it was only the eyes that held any resemblance to her ex-husband, although that was enough as far as she was concerned. Enough to make her take a step back from this.

  ‘As far as I was aware he had absolutely no idea I even existed,’ Dominic went on, never taking his eyes off her. ‘I thought this was going to be one hell of a surprise for him so I have no idea how he found out.’

  ‘Oh, believe me, if Michael wants something he usually gets it. And I should know. He’ll have found out in the only way he knows how – by getting someone else to dig the dirt. He’s got connections we can’t even begin to imagine…’ She looked up at Dominic as everything suddenly started to click into place. ‘He’ll have seen how close we were getting. How you were – in his eyes – moving in on me, and that won’t have sat easy with him.’

  ‘He still wants you back, huh?’

  She shrugged, running a hand through her hair, pushing it back off her face as a sudden breeze blew it over her eyes. ‘To be honest, Dominic, even if he didn’t want me I just don’t think he wants anyone else to have me either.’

  ‘I think he wants you.’

  She looked up at him, but didn’t respond to his comment. ‘If he’s seen you as a threat then he’ll have made sure that any dirt that could be dug up on you was unearthed. But I guarantee he probably didn’t expect to find this out. Doesn’t really matter though. He’ll still try and use it in any way he can to discredit you, to make you look like the bad guy. I know how he works now. I know the way he thinks.’

  Dominic moved a step closer but stopped short of touching her, even though he wanted to. So much. ‘I’ve handled this all really badly, and I need you to understand that, India. I really need you to let me explain why I couldn’t tell you about any of this…’