Illusions of Love

by Michelle Betham

  ‘Why you wouldn’t, you mean.’ She threw her head back and sighed, a sudden wave of overwhelming tiredness sweeping over her. ‘Do you know what? I really don’t care anymore. I’m tired of Michael infringing on everything I do. I should never have agreed to do this movie…’ She started walking back inside but Dominic reached out and put a hand on her hip, causing her to stop and turn back around.

  ‘I meant it when I said I was falling in love with you, India. I meant every fucking word, that was no lie, that was no game.’

  ‘So, you admit you were playing a game then?’

  ‘Yes, but… Jesus, this is fucking hard…’

  She started walking away again but Dominic reached out and grabbed her arm, preventing her from moving any further away from him.

  ‘It started out as a game, baby. I can’t lie to you, that’s how it was in the beginning. Michael, he wasn’t a good man to my mom. He wasn’t a good man…’

  India stopped and looked at him, his beautiful blue eyes clouding over but she had to be strong here. He was a Walsh. He was part of Michael, no matter how much he didn’t want to be. He was part of Michael. And that was enough to make her think twice about any involvement she may have with him now.

  ‘Okay. He wasn’t a good man, so…?’

  ‘So, I… I just wanted to make him realise that he couldn’t always have what he wanted, India. That he couldn’t always control things… people. Situations.’ When he said it out loud it all sounded so pathetic. So trivial. So childish. Something he should have dealt with in a much better way.

  ‘And where do I come into all of this?’

  He looked at her, swallowing hard, trying to work out how to say it to her without it sounding as crass as it really had been. ‘Michael loves you more than he’s ever loved anyone, India.’

  She stared right into those ridiculously blue eyes, never wavering for a second. All of a sudden she wanted to hear this. ‘Go on.’

  ‘And I just thought that… that if I could take you away from him…’

  ‘How can you take someone away from a person when they were never with them in the first place?’

  ‘Jesus, you’re not making this easy.’

  ‘You want easy? Okay, I’ll give you easy. I’m outta here.’ She turned to walk away from him but he was too quick, reaching out to grab her hand, swinging her back round to face him.

  ‘India, please… Look, I know how this sounds, but… I wanted you to be with me, to fall in love with me, to show him that you weren’t just there whenever he wanted you.’

  ‘That was never the case anyway, Dominic.’

  ‘I know.’ He sighed heavily, pushing a hand through his dark brown hair, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling for a second. ‘I know. I just… I just wanted you there, with me, when I told him… when I told him I was his son. I wanted it to hit him hard, India. I wanted to get him any which way I could and I don’t even fucking know why now, y’know? Not anymore. Because none of it fucking matters. It really doesn’t matter.’ He looked at her, right into her eyes as a tightness crossed his chest, a small shot of pain making him flinch slightly. ‘And it doesn’t matter because what I didn’t bank on… what I hadn’t realised would happen… I didn’t bank on falling in love with you, India.’

  ‘You used me?’ she whispered, suddenly feeling those tears she’d refused to cry before making a reappearance, burning the back of her eyes.

  ‘Christ… baby, I never meant it to be that way…’

  ‘What way did you mean it then? You used me to get back at Michael – what other way is there of describing it?’

  ‘India… please…’

  She shook her head, still staring at him, the realisation of what was going on here almost rendering her speechless. She felt as though she was rooted to the spot; she wanted to get away from him, but it was as if her body was refusing to do anything her brain told it to.

  ‘So, when you followed me to L.A… everything that happened there… it was just a way of you getting back at Michael?’

  ‘No… India, believe me, when I followed you to L.A. that was the turning point for me, that was when things were changing, when I was starting to have second thoughts…’

  ‘Then that’s when you should have told me everything, Dominic. You should have taken a step back and you should have told me. I mean, Jesus Christ, after everything I went through when I found out Reece was my dad… You could have talked to me, don’t you see that? I would have understood all those crazy, mixed-up feelings that must have been going round in your head because I’ve been there. I’ve been there, I’ve felt that shock, I know how it feels. But you wasted that chance. You wasted that. And this could have all been so different… Shit! I’m so angry with you right now, Dominic. So fucking angry…’

  He felt his stomach lurch as the realisation of what she was saying hit home. Why hadn’t he seen that? Why hadn’t he seen that the one thing they had in common could have brought them closer together, instead of tearing them apart? His fault. He’d been blinkered, let tunnel-vision take over with that completely pointless need to get one over on Michael. And it hadn’t needed to be that way at all. He should have told her the truth that night in L.A. He should have told her. Jesus! What an idiot he’d been!

  ‘Baby, I know. I… I know that now. But things were moving so fast, my feelings were all over the place, I was confused…’

  She’d heard enough. He may not think he was anything like his father but the similarities in his behaviour were just too close for India to cope with. ‘You said he was manipulative, with your mum, right?’

  He looked at her, hoping beyond anything that she was beginning to understand his motives for what he’d done – no matter how twisted they may have seemed at the time.

  ‘And what exactly have you been, Dominic?’

  ‘No, India… no, baby, it wasn’t like that…’

  ‘It was exactly like that. Now, just go, please.’

  He walked over to her and she didn’t step back, didn’t make any attempt to move as he reached out to gently stroke her cheek with his thumb, leaning in to kiss her mouth so softly she almost fell against him, because she was still weak where he was concerned. Despite everything. A kiss from him was more than enough to make her knees turn to jelly and her heart beat faster, as it always had done with the man Dominic now called his father – Michael Walsh. Her feelings for him had always haunted her, always been there in the back of her mind no matter how many times she’d tried to move on. Because the real reason why she could never seem to move too far was because she’d never really gotten over Michael. But she’d honestly thought that Dominic could have been the one to finally break that spell, the one to make her realise that life without Michael really could exist. Only, he was Michael, to some extent. Wasn’t he? He was a connection, a blood relative. A part of him. And that was far too close in India’s eyes.

  ‘We are so good together, baby,’ Dominic whispered, his mouth still close to hers and it was all she could do to not to reach out and touch him too, but she was stronger than that now. Where Michael Walsh was concerned she’d learnt one lesson too many and this time she had to step away. She had to let Dominic go. For her own good.

  ‘I can’t do it, Dominic, I just… I can’t do it. This is all wrong…’

  He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers, tiredness and frustration sweeping over him. ‘I love you, India.’

  She felt an overwhelming pull on her heart as she heard those words from him, his body so close to hers, so close she could feel the heat. But she had to dig out that strength and push him away, before this mess got any bigger.

  Resisting any urge she had to kiss him again she took a deep breath and stepped back from him, confusion and anger and a pain so raw she could feel it burning up inside her over-ruling anything else she was feeling. She just needed him to go.

  ‘So, it’s over? Just like that?’ Dominic really hoped this would just turn out to be some c
ruel nightmare that he’d eventually wake up from, leaving him another chance to put this right, to stop it from happening.

  She nodded, folding her arms across her chest again in that defensive manner, silently telling him not to come any closer. She was done. ‘It’s the way it has to be.’

  ‘Why? Why does it have to be that way? Surely we can… You and me, we still have that thing in common, India. That shock of finding out who our real fathers are… You know how that feels, and I can see what an idiot I’ve been…’

  ‘I can’t do it, Dominic. It’s too late, okay? And if you want to find out the real reason why, try asking your father.’

  Dominic looked at her again, her beautiful face masked by an expression he knew she was trying hard to make him believe was real, but he could see underneath that hard exterior. He knew she was acting a role she was having trouble keeping up with. But it wasn’t her best work, and she certainly wouldn’t win any awards for this performance.

  ‘Okay. You want me to go, I’ll go. But you can’t avoid me, India. We still have a movie to make; we still have to work together. Like I said, this is a situation you can’t run away from.’ He began to walk towards the door, turning back to look at her one more time. ‘And one day you’ll have to face up to those real feelings, honey. One day.’

  CHAPTER 23

  Due to the press intrusion on the Vegas film set, and The Amber Palace itself – not to mention Las Vegas in general – following the revelation that Michael Walsh was Dominic MacDonald’s real father, filming on the movie had been put on hold for a few days. It was a much-needed and necessary break to give everyone time to take in the news, to deal with the repercussions, and to hope that – once the press and media had got the story out of their systems – everything could settle down and filming could resume.

  But could things ever really go back to normal? Was that ever going to be possible now? What had happened wasn’t just some piece of gossip that would be touted round town for a few days and then be forgotten about in favour of the next rumour. It was something that had changed things, big time. For a lot of people.

  And that’s why India had grabbed her chance to escape Vegas for a while and head back to her Malibu beach house with Kenny, leaving Michael and Dominic behind. She needed time to think; time to get her head straight. Time to forget everything for a few days and just chill out with the man she loved spending time with.

  ‘He might follow you out here, you know that, don’t you?’ Kenny said, joining India outside on the sand as she watched the day begin, the sky slowly becoming lighter as the early morning sun cast its warmth over the quiet, almost deserted beach.

  ‘He might. I know.’

  ‘So, have you thought about what you’re going to do? If he does come to L.A.?’

  She looked at him, taking the cup of tea he held out for her. ‘No. I’m trying not to think about him, Kenny. I’m trying to push him to the back of my mind for a few days. So, can we stop talking about him, please?’

  He smiled, slipping his arm around her, pulling her into him. She rested her head against his shoulder as she stared out at the ocean, its calm waters giving her some clarity to a situation that was becoming increasingly complicated.

  ‘Okay. I know what we need. Let’s have a beach party. What do you think?’ Kenny asked.

  India smiled at him. ‘Like the old days? Me, you and all the old gang? Loud rock music and a fire here on the beach? Beer, barbecued food, and the smell of motorbikes filling the air… Kenny, that’d be heaven!’

  He couldn’t help laughing at her obvious enthusiasm for the idea. It reminded him of the girl she’d been all those years ago, before the glamour and glitz had got a hold of her, turning her into this beautiful but sometimes unattainable movie star. The girl she’d been when she’d lived in cut-off denim shorts and T-shirts. The girl she’d been when she’d been his. Pre-Michael Walsh. The days before her involvement with that man had changed her forever.

  ‘Yeah. Just like the old days. I’ll ring round everyone, get them over here tonight. I think Mark and the guys from Black Rock Diamond are still in town, actually. Be good to see them again.’

  She gave a little squeal, hugging him tight and he held her close, a ridiculous feeling of hope building up inside him that he knew he had to curb. Because this was just a stop gap for her. This was her chance to escape from yet another media circus that surrounded her, a chance to forget, even if was just for a couple of days. And that was all he really was – her escape, and he was happy to be that, happy to be there for her. Happy to help her get through this in whatever way she saw fit.

  ‘Okay then,’ he laughed. ‘I’ll get on to that right now.’

  ‘Hey, hang on, mister. Not so fast.’

  He looked at her, sitting back down beside her.

  ‘I want you to be happy, Kenny. You know that, don’t you?’

  He took her hand, gently running his thumb over her knuckles. ‘I am happy.’

  ‘Are you? I mean, I thought you and Casey really had something. I thought you’d finally found someone to settle down with, someone to share your life with…’

  ‘India, quit worrying about me, okay? I’m fine. I’m Kenny Ross – I’m a free spirit, I always have been, and that ain’t really gonna change any time soon. And I’m fine with that.’

  ‘But, Kenny…’

  ‘I’m fine, India. I’m fine.’ He smiled at her, standing up and pulling her up with him. ‘Now, come on. We’ve got a party to organise.’

  A party Kenny hoped would give them both the chance to forget things they had yet to deal with – for just a few hours more. Because, once they both got back to Vegas, everything would still be waiting. It would still all be there – India would have to face Dominic again, and for Kenny, he had the problem of Jimmy Cash’s reappearance to deal with, and everything that had happened with Charley because of that. If Vince ever found out…

  So, for tonight, he just wanted to forget. He just wanted to forget things too.

  ***

  Vince pushed open the door of the apartment then kicked it shut behind him, flicking through the pile of newspapers he was carrying, absent-mindedly scanning the front pages but not really taking anything in before throwing them down onto the dining room table, making his way to the open-plan kitchen for some much-needed coffee.

  Since the revelation about Dominic and Michael’s relationship, The Amber Palace – not to mention Vegas in general – was teeming with press and media, all wanting that elusive first interview with either of the famous men in question. And India. Although, it was common knowledge that India had fled to Malibu for a few days, and it was more than likely that both Michael and Dominic had followed her. But that hadn’t deterred the press from hanging around in Vegas, safe in the knowledge that filming of their movie was due to resume in just a matter of days. God willing, because Vince was exhausted fielding questions every time he set foot outside his private apartment within the hotel.

  ‘Charley!’ he shouted, flicking the switch down on the coffee machine and checking his watch. He had a meeting with The Amber Palace casino managers in half an hour and he needed to make sure Charley was around to look after Lily and Ethan. ‘Charley! You there, honey?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m here. I’m here. What’s the emergency?’ She came running out of the bathroom, pushing a hand through her damp hair. ‘I was taking a shower. Is everything okay?’

  ‘Everything’s fine,’ Vince replied, retrieving a couple of clean mugs from the dishwasher. ‘Where’re the kids?’

  ‘Lily’s taking a nap and Ethan’s on his way back to L.A. with Michael. Reece has gone too. They left this morning.’

  Vince’s suspicions had been right, then. He’d had a feeling that Michael wasn’t going to let this go so easy, and just the thought of what could kick off next was giving him a headache.

  ‘Any idea where Dominic is?’ Vince asked, although it was very much a rhetorical question. It was highly unlikely he was still he
re in Vegas if Michael had followed India to L.A.

  Charley shrugged, towel-drying her damp hair before discarding the towel over the back of the sofa. ‘I haven’t seen him since it all happened. Have you?’

  Vince shook his head, pouring himself a strong black coffee. ‘I haven’t got a fucking clue what’s going on at the minute, Charley. Anyway, you gonna be around for the next couple of hours? To look after Lily? I’ve got a meeting with the casino managers in a few minutes, not to mention dealing with all this crap that’s going on with the movie.’

  ‘Why have you got to deal with all of that anyway?’ Charley asked, fastening the towel she’d hurriedly grabbed tighter around her body.

  ‘Because all this crap is going on in my hotel. And I’m one of the movie’s executive producers, so it’s kinda my job to deal with this shit. Especially as everybody else appears to have fucked off back to L.A. for a few days.’

  Charley couldn’t help noticing how tense he was at the minute, and she knew a lot of that had to do with her, and the way she’d been acting lately. But Kenny had really started to help ease some of that fear she’d been feeling, allowing her to relax slightly. Allowing her to let Vince see that everything was okay; because that was the way she needed things to be. Maybe it was akin to burying her head in the sand but sometimes, if she could at least feel as though everything was alright then maybe she could start to believe that one day it might actually be that way. But if Vince ever found out just what it was that Kenny had done to make her more relaxed… Well, she didn’t even want to think about that.

  Charley knew she shouldn’t, but she missed Kenny. She missed having him there to calm her, to tell her that everything would be alright, even though nobody knew that for sure. She missed him, but she totally understood why he had to be with India. In any kind of competition for Kenny’s affections India would win hands down. Every time. No contest. And any woman that Kenny ever got involved with needed to know that.