Protecting What's His (To Love and Defend Book 1)

by Daniella Starre

  True lone werewolves did not reach one hundred and sixty years old. They didn't even reach one hundred. Or sixty. Werewolves weren't meant to be alone. The isolation would poison their mind, turning them mad. Their bodies would shut down, and their hearts would give out. It was a terrible, lonely death, and most werewolves would rather remain in a vicious, awful pack rather than strike it out on their own.

  "We have two options," Jasper said, picking at his pancakes with his fork, his other hand still holding hers.

  "Let's hear them." She withdrew her hand and calmly started to eat as if they were talking about the weather instead of their future. Their lives or their deaths could hang in the balance, but you would never know it by looking at her.

  "We move away, wherever you want, where Melvin can't find us. I have money saved up. That's not an issue."

  She quirked an eyebrow and shook her head in mock-disgust. "I have my own money too," she said dryly.

  "A woman with means," he teased. "Now that I can get behind."

  He loved it that her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He had gotten behind her last night. That he could still tease her and make her blush only wanted him to try new things with her to continue that trend.

  "That aside," she said, still flushed, "you would have to leave your pack behind. Your friends. Your roots. You know everyone here."

  "Not everyone," he protested. "Detroit is huge."

  "Next to everyone," she caved slightly. "I would never ask you to leave them. They're your people."

  "And that brings us to option two." He reclaimed her hand. "You could join my pack."

  She waved her hand and shook her head several times. "No, no. That's not an option."

  "Why not?" he asked quietly. "You don't like it here? Is the house not big enough? I've already figured out how to fit in a crib, a changing table, and a bureau into the guest room. It would be crammed, but it would work. Or do you want a crib in our room? A… What's the word? Bassinet? We could do that. Anything you want."

  "Anything I want which isn't to join your pack. But I also don't want to force you to leave your pack behind. That’s not right. I’m… I’ve basically been a huge tornado in your life, and I don’t want to take you away from everyone you know and love.”

  “But that’s just it.” He brought her hand up so it touched the side of his face. “I love you too.”

  Couldn’t she feel their connection, understand it, accept it? He was so damn happy that their paths had crossed. He had been hurt after she’d up and left him, sure, but she came back.

  From the start, Alexis had a point. Not all one-night stands could turn into a long, loving relationship. And yes, they had only been together for weeks. Already, though, it felt like a lifetime. He loved her, and he was fairly certain she loved him. She just wasn’t ready and willing to see it yet.

  “If it weren’t for me, you’d never even contemplate leaving,” she argued.

  “You’re a part of my life now, so that doesn’t matter,” he protested.

  “Of course it does! I don’t want to disrupt your life.”

  “What if I said you were my life?” he murmured.

  “You can’t just go around saying things like that about a person you hardly know,” she countered.

  He grinned. She hadn’t fought to free her hand, and he shifted his face, so her hand was over his mouth instead of his cheek and kissed her palm. They lowered their joined hands to the table. Their breakfast was getting cold, but this was far too important of a discussion to worry about eating.

  “You’re acting as if we’re humans as if we only have eighty, ninety years. That’s not the case. Werewolves are hot blooded. We’re fierce and loyal, and when we love, we love with everything we have. We throw ourselves into that fire, that passion.”

  “Are you speaking from experience?”

  “If you mean you, yes. Anyone else, no.”

  “Jasper, this is crazy talk.”

  “It’s not. It really isn’t. You can’t deny that there’s a spark between us.”

  “What happens when the baby comes? When the honeymoon stage is over?” she whispered.

  “See? You can’t deny the spark,” he said smugly.

  “You’re unreal.” She slipped her hand free, but she was smiling slightly.

  “If you hadn’t been worried about your asshole of an alpha— “

  Alexis snorted and covered her mouth.

  “What did I say?” he asked, confused.

  “Nothing. It’s just I’ve been thinking of him as Asshole Alpha.” She giggled.

  “See?” He pointed between them. “We’re on the same wavelength.”

  “Not a stretch to call a spade a spade,” she pointed out.

  “Maybe so, but if you hadn’t been worried about him, you wouldn’t have left that morning, would you have?”

  “Probably not,” she murmured.

  “Do you think we would’ve started dating? Let’s say Melvin and the baby were out of the picture. What do you think would’ve happened? Would you have given me a chance? Would you’ve been interested in dating me?”

  “Most likely,” she admitted, looking embarrassed and ashamed.

  Why? Why that reaction?

  “I have hopes for the future. I have hopes for us. Melvin doesn’t change what I want for us, Alexis, but it’s up to you. Everything is. Whatever you want. Whatever you need. I’ll stand by you.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  His heart sank. He could sense she wasn't convinced yet. “But?”

  “But I won’t allow Melvin to come after you,” she said firmly, angrily. “And I will not dare allow your pack to come between me and him. That’s not fair to any of them.”

  “I understand that, but we can explain— “

  “No. Not fair. Not happening.”

  Jasper shoved an entire strip of bacon into his mouth and chewed furiously. Alexis wanted to protect herself, him, his pack, and their baby. All completely understandable but she wasn’t in this alone.

  “So what are your plans?” Jasper finally asked after he swallowed. He hated that it wasn’t their plans.

  “I haven’t decided yet,” she said, but she wouldn’t meet her gaze, and her nose twitched once. She was lying.

  Which meant she did have a plan. To run away? To leave him?

  Frustration and anger filled him, frustration that she wouldn’t confide in him and anger at that alpha of hers.

  Alexis hardly said a word to him the rest of the day, and Jasper didn’t know what to do for her, how to help. He only had today off before he should go back to work, and his grand plans for them to settle on a location and maybe even start house hunting had gone out the window.

  Even worse, when he went to bed that night, she wasn’t there. He found her settled on the couch, twisting around, trying to get comfortable.

  “If you don’t want us to sleep together, you go to bed,” he offered.

  She sat up, nodded, and left the room.

  Jasper watched her go, hopelessly confused and frustrated. He’d woken so happy, ready to take the next step in their relationship. Now, hours later, they were distant, isolated, and potentially even starting to grow apart.

  Damn that Melvin. Damn him to Hell!

  12

  Alexis hesitated in the doorway of his bedroom. His bedroom. Not hers. Not theirs. This wasn’t her house. She didn’t belong here.

  But she didn’t want to go back to Hazel Park. Of course not. Even before everything with that fucker Melvin, there had never truly felt like home either. Nowhere had felt like home.

  Jasper’s embrace didn’t count. Not when he filled her either.

  Home wasn’t so much a singular location but any place where you could feel safe, feel protected, be happy, be yourself. Alexis had always kept to herself in the pack, more than any of the others. Sure, she had a few close friends, but both of them had ended up marrying outside of the pack and moved away to join their spouses’ packs, both now in
Toledo.

  Alexis was so grateful they’d gotten out, but where did that leave her? Yes, she could follow their lead. She could give into Jasper, but then what? Then, the anger and rage and hatred Melvin had would not be merely focused on her. Not even just on her and Jasper. No. It would fall on everyone within the pack.

  Bottom line, she was a liability. If she wasn’t careful, she could get many people killed.

  Yes, she was afraid to give into Jasper. Afraid to let him in, afraid to love him. Terrified he’ll get hurt. Worried sick about it.

  The worst part was that Jasper didn’t deserve any of this. He had been wonderful and charming. He was perfect. He already knew how she liked her coffee, knew which movies she’d like to see, which books she’d like. He brought her new ones all the time to watch or read. They did so much more than make love. Yes, it wasn’t fucking. Yes, it was just as hard and dirty as before, or it had been before her belly started to grow. But there was a deeper connection forged each time.

  As much as she wanted to deny it, she really couldn’t. She loved Jasper wholeheartedly.

  But as much as she loved him, she wanted to protect him too. If Jasper went up against Melvin one-on-one, Melvin would win. Jasper was strong, but Melvin was stronger. Only because he hadn’t wanted to truly hurt her had she been able to walk away from Melvin relatively unscathed. Physically, she was fine, but emotionally, she was scarred.

  Jasper hadn’t asked her about Melvin’s ridiculous claim that the child was his. He trusted her. He didn’t realize that the possibility truly did exist that the baby girl wasn’t his. She should tell him. She should leave. Then, he’d be safe.

  The thought of leaving terrified her. Not because of the wild unknown, but because she didn’t want to leave.

  Ignoring the bed, Alexis marched back to the living room. Jasper was sitting on the couch, hands in his head, a side light casting faint illumination.

  He glanced up at her, his face half haloed. “Are you going to leave me?”

  “We’re going to leave. Where to, I don’t care. Maybe Ohio. One of my best friends lives in Toledo. That’s not too far. Maybe not far enough, but it’s a start.”

  The look of happiness and hope in his eyes sparked tears within her. He stood, crossed over to her in two long strides and enveloped her in a tight hug. His flannel shirt scratched her cheek, and his delicious scent washed over her. The furious pounding of his heart beat in time with hers. They were connected, bound together by something primordial, something as ancient as their race.

  Maybe soul mates were real after all, but that didn’t guarantee them a happy ending. There were no guarantees in life.

  13

  Moving to Toledo was actually not a terrible experience. Since neither Jasper nor Alexis was certain this would be their final destination, they opted to rent a half a double from the elderly couple who occupied the other half.

  Jasper’s place back in Detroit had been his parents’. Since it was already paid off, he hadn’t opted to put it up for sale just yet. A part of him would always think of Detroit as his home, but he’d go anywhere and everywhere that Alexis wanted because she was also home to him.

  Alexis’ best friend, Mandy Griffith, helped them out a ton. So did Claire Drake and Olivia Moreno. All three of them were in a pack in Toledo, but apparently, Mandy and Claire had both been in Alexis pack originally. They met their loves and switched packs to be with them.

  Jasper loved to watch the four of them interact. Alexis needed more than just him. Unfortunately, so did the other women. Mandy’s husband had died of cancer years ago. Claire had two small girls. Her husband had also passed away, but Claire didn’t speak about it much. If Alexis knew the story, she didn’t share it, and Jasper wasn’t about to pry.

  No, he had other matters to tend to, like setting up the nursery. You’d think that the point of instructions would be to make constructing the various furniture pieces simple and uncomplicated. Not the case at all. No wonder guys tended not to bother with them. It took him hours and days, but finally, the nursery was all set up, pink and purple, the furniture all white. Their baby girl would have a perfect little home here.

  Their baby girl. His. Jasper didn’t care what he’d said to Alexis. Yes, Alexis had told him about the nightmares that had unlocked memories of being drugged and raped. Yes, he knew the possibility remained viable. He just refused to accept it.

  Alexis shifted in his arms. Tonight, she couldn’t settle.

  “Do you want to get up?” he asked. Sometimes walking helped.

  “No.”

  “A back rub?”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. Normally, she slept on her side with her back to him, but she was facing him now. Her skin was a little pale, and her lips tightened every few minutes.

  Just then, something wet the bed.

  Alexis’ face turned bright red with embarrassment. “Oh!”

  It took a moment for it to sink in.

  “Oh. Oh! Your water broke. Hm. Here. Let’s sit you up…”

  Running around like a chicken with its head cut off, he rushed about to fetch her towels and returned to see her stretching half out of the bed to reach for the nightstand.

  For her phone.

  “Damn it,” he swore. He grabbed the phone, but Alexis yanked it out of his hand.

  “I’ll call,” she said in between gasping breaths and pained expressions.

  Angry and apologetic that he hadn’t thought to call immediately himself, he set about making amends for his mistake. He soaked up the mess and fetched her clean clothes. They already had a suitcase ready. He’d packed it when they left Detroit even though it had been far too early for her to go into labor then.

  As Alexis explained to the werewolf doctor here in Toledo about her water breaking and her contractions, Jasper raced to the closet. She needed fresh clothes. And more towels. And maybe water too. He wasn’t sure. Better to be safe than sorry.

  Jasper grabbed the towels and then helped Alexis change out of her soaked nightgown and into a soft burgundy maternity dress. A knock at the door had him off and running to the door.

  Doctor Lorenzo Hale was a tall, distinguished werewolf with mostly gray hair. His eyes looked huge beneath his glasses. Honestly, Jasper thought the glasses were for effect. He never saw or knew of a werewolf who didn’t have exceptional eyesight of hearing.

  He waved the doctor in. “She’s in the bedroom.”

  Alexis had insisted on the at home birth, and Jasper thought it wise. Both of them figured that they hadn’t seen the last of Melvin. Neither wanted to leave a trail for him to follow.

  Doctor Hale shook his head. “The bathroom might be better. The bathtub specifically.”

  Jasper’s eyes widened in horror, and he scampered off to the bathroom to scrub the tub thoroughly.

  Alexis wanted him there for the birth. Out of her girlfriends, only Mandy was able to make it over in time. Once Alexis shifted into the water, it wasn’t much later after that. Like everything else with a werewolf pregnancy, the labor and delivery tended to be faster than a typical human one. All told, three hours after her water broke, Alexis was holding her beautiful baby girl. Their baby stirred and cried, eyes not opened. She settled against Alexis’ chest and fell asleep.

  Those first few seconds of their baby’s life were completely peaceful. Then, the doctor’s cell went off. Another pregnant werewolf. Off he went, Mandy walking him to the door. When she returned, her face was pale and drawn.

  Jasper hardly noticed, though. He was paying more attention to Alexis, brushing her hair back and kissing her forehead. “I love you.”

  Alexis stared up at him, weary happiness shining in her bright eyes. But then her gaze shifted over his shoulder toward the doorway and Mandy. Alexi’s jaw dropped, and she gripped the baby that much tighter to her.

  Panic had him whirling around. Mandy stood there, but now he noticed the hand gripping her wrist.


  Melvin had found them at the worst possible time.

  14

  The baby’s warmth, her sweet smell, her tiny body… As the baby snuggled against her, a cocoon of happiness and peace settled over Alexis, the likes of which she had never experienced before. Only a few times now had Jasper said those three little words, and she was finally ready to return them.

  Only who should she see but the werewolf she despised most in the entire world.

  Melvin fucking Hayes.

  Alexis’ mind went into overdrive. She stood, dripping wet, her maternity dress clinging to her like a second skin. Melvin threw Mandy toward the ground. Her best friend dashed forward, past Jasper, who was heading straight for Melvin.

  It was the most difficult thing Alexis ever did, but she handed her baby to Mandy.

  “Keep her safe,” Alexis murmured.

  “Come with me,” Mandy cried, glancing over her shoulder at the werewolves who were already going at it.

  Alexis just shook her head. She’d left Jasper once. She wasn't about to do that again. Not now, not ever.

  Thankfully, this bathroom had two entrances, and Mandy dashed through the other before retreating back into the bathroom.

  Melvin hadn’t returned alone. A fair amount of the other werewolves from her pack, or maybe former pack, were barring the way.

  No. No, no, no. This couldn’t happen. She had just given birth and wasn’t at her strongest. Jasper was no match for Melvin without aid, and Melvin had brought back up? The bastard!

  Melvin and Jasper were throwing punches, barely dodging blows. The hallway just outside the bathroom didn't give them much room to fight at all. Melvin gripped Jasper's neck, but Jasper somehow freed himself and knocked Melvin down the stairs.

  “Go,” he snapped.

  Alexis nodded to Mandy. Her friend darted past the stairs. Hopefully, she’d find an unimpeded way out of the house.

  While Jasper dashed down the stairs to handle Melvin, Alexis focused on her former pack mates, especially Adrian Hawkins. When they had been pups, they had been close friends, but they had grown apart over the years.