Second Chances Boxed Set: 7 Sweet & Sexy Romances in 1 Book

by Tracey Alvarez

  “I didn’t dare dream of a relationship with you. I thought my life was about making the best of a bad job. So I made other plans.”

  She frowned. “What plans?”

  At that moment a group of men and women walked up and exchanged hearty greetings with James. She knew him. He’d always loved people and parties and he’d made a life here for himself in the US where he was on everyone’s guest list, on good terms with everyone.

  Susie just didn’t fit in. For the first time that evening, James had actually released his hold of her waist. He was busy talking with an animated group, laughing over jokes she didn’t understand and didn’t want to listen to. Susie crossed her arms awkwardly around her front and slipped back. She had nothing in common with any of these people. She stepped away, but James turned and looked for her and walked over to her.

  “Not much longer. I’ve done my bit, the speeches are over, five minutes and then I’ll take you upstairs and ravish you.”

  She grinned, despite herself. “Is that right?”

  He tried to pull her closer. “Absolutely. Do you want to know what I’m going to do to you up there?” He looked around and pulled her into the shadow of a huge oak barrel. He nuzzled against her neck.

  She giggled. “Mac.” She tried to bat him away. “Not here, someone may see.”

  “I don’t care.”

  His hands spread over her bottom and pulled her tight against his hard erection. Despite herself she felt her body react. She opened her mouth under his and their tongues tangled in an increasing frenzy of arousal that made her forget about the long hours she’d stood talking to people she didn’t want to know and God willing, would never see again. Too soon they pulled apart, panting, their foreheads pressed against each other’s.

  “I’d have you here, now, if I could.”

  “Do what you have to do with the others, go, say goodnight and then come to me James. I’ll be waiting upstairs.”

  She smiled as she watched him hesitate, take a deep breath and smooth back his hair and join the group of people. She slipped away from the party, away from the bright lights through into the relative quiet of the lounge bar. There, she paused. Ten minutes for James probably meant half an hour and she was thirsty.

  She walked over to the bar, empty except for an elegant woman who leaned against an open window, smoking. She was dressed in a tight white dress, which accentuated her tan and her amazing figure. She turned to watch Susie as Susie ordered a pot of tea to be taken to her room. She glanced at the woman, struck by her feline green eyes, accentuated by her short dark bob. The woman smiled at her and Susie smiled back with a brief nod. Susie had seen her earlier but hadn’t been introduced to her by James, nor had gone anywhere near her. She wondered at the obvious interest in the woman’s eyes.

  “Tea,” the woman said quietly, smiling. “Very English.”

  “I’m not English, I’m from New Zealand.”

  “Ah, of course.”

  The other woman didn’t say anything immediately but there was something about her that made Susie approach. “I’m Susie.” She extended her hand to the stranger, who accepted her hand in a firm handshake.

  “I know.”

  Susie dropped her hand in confusion as the other woman turned away and blew out some smoke into the night. Then she turned back to her. “I’m Amanda.”

  Susie frowned briefly. The name meant nothing to her. “Pleased to meet you.”

  Amanda laughed low and quiet, but without humor. “Pleased? I can see he hasn’t told you about me.”

  A stealthy, sick, chill swept through Susie. She stood quite still. “No, he hasn’t.”

  Amanda’s eyes narrowed as she took another drag on her cigarette, openly assessing Susie. “I must say”—she stubbed out the cigarette on the ashtray—“you’re not at all how I imagined.” While the words could have been offensive, they weren’t when combined with the smile, as sweet as spring.

  She stepped away from the window, walked up to Susie and picked up a lone glass of champagne. Close up, the woman was even more beautiful—sparkling green eyes, immaculate make-up, and perfect cupid lips colored in the softest shade of pink. But what struck Susie most was the sweet expression on her face. Her perfect lips were twisted in a regretful smile and her eyes had a warmth and sadness that seemed at odds with the rest of her.

  “And how exactly did you imagine me?”

  “I’ve been a friend of James for a long time—not his lover all that time, you understand, ironic really, considering—and I’ve seen them come and go, the women I mean. He has great taste.”

  “Ah, so you see me as an exception to that taste.”

  “Not at all. You’re lovely. Just… different. It must be, as he says. It must be for real this time.”

  Despite the woman’s warm demeanor, despite her smile, Susie was becoming increasingly tense and confused. “I’m sorry, you seem to have the advantage over me. Who are you and what are you to do with James?”

  Amanda laughed. “James said you were different and you are. Direct. I like that.” She nodded thoughtfully. “I’m pretty sure James was going to ask me to marry him before you appeared on the scene.”

  The dread and doubt that Susie had kept at bay these last few days rose in a wave, clearing her mind, devastating her heart. Susie opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She cleared her throat, looking around, as if for something that would make sense of the woman’s words. She turned back to Amanda who was watching her quietly. “Marry?” she whispered.

  Amanda nodded. “When James came to see me this afternoon, I knew something had happened. I could see it in his eyes. He’d changed. I was happy for him. Less happy for me, of course. I’m very fond of him and James would have made a superb husband. He didn’t love me of course.” She shrugged her elegant shoulders. “But that didn’t matter. I’d hoped, in time…”

  “Didn’t matter?” Susie repeated, the words somehow emerging from between numb lips.

  “No, because we both would have got what we wanted. As you no doubt know, James loves kids—you have a son I hear?”

  Susie nodded.

  “And because he can’t have any of his own—”

  “He can’t?” Susie turned away as the pain struck her. James couldn’t have kids? Why the hell hadn’t he told her? Why did this stranger know more about James than she did? The answer was obvious—because Susie didn’t know him at all, because she’d been fooled by him into believing an illusion. The only truth was, Susie had a son and James apparently wanted a family.

  Amanda ignored, if she’d ever heard, the question. “And my three kids really needed a father figure. It’s hard making ends meet with three children and a bankrupt ex.”

  Susie shook her head, trying to make sense of the words that seemed to make no sense. “I’m sorry, this is all new to me. You say you thought you were to marry James and that you need money but that it’s all now off?” She shook her head. “You must have thought wrong. James, he…” She couldn’t continue.

  “Not wrong, Susie. We’d talked about it. He wanted to make changes and he’d made it clear I’d be part of them. I’m sorry… I thought you knew. I assumed James had told you, that’s why he brought you here.”

  “No,” Susie said. “I wanted to come.” She closed her eyes as she remembered how she had insisted. “I insisted on coming. I wanted to see where he lived, what his life was like. I hadn’t imagined it would be quite this…”

  “Illuminating?” Amanda looked awkward. “Look, I’m really sorry. I wouldn’t have butted in if I’d thought for one minute, you didn’t know about us, and our arrangement. It really was more of a business arrangement than anything. Two disillusioned people trying to keep their lives afloat.”

  For the first time, Susie understood the sadness in this woman’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  “That’s okay. I’ve survived worse. I have other options.” She gazed around at the open doors to the wine cellar that was full of men, oozin
g glamour, money and sophistication. “And James has been more than generous with the trust funds. My kids won’t want for anything.”

  “How old are they? Does he know them well? Will he miss them?”

  “They’ll miss him to begin with but they’re too small to remember. Hopefully he’ll still get to see them from time to time?”

  The sentence ended in a question mark, which Susie knew was down to her to answer. She nodded. “Of course. Whatever James wants. He’s a free agent.”

  “Really? I thought you two were going to get hitched?”

  “Look, I’m going now.” Susie was unable to think of a thing further to say to the woman who’d just shattered her vision of the future.

  “Sure. Lovely to meet you, Susie, and take good care of James. It looks as if he’s found his soul mate after all.” Amanda held up her glass in silent salute, finished off the champagne and wandered unsteadily off.

  Susie didn’t know where she was going but followed Amanda at a distance, back towards the cellar room where the party continued. She watched as Amanda sashayed her way through the crowded room, male eyes turning to watch her walk by. She wanted to hate her but she couldn’t. She and James had made a loveless deal because they were desperate, despite the glamour.

  She walked up to James and let her hand smooth down the soft, sleek fabric of his expensive tuxedo. “James, we need to talk.”

  James stopped talking mid-sentence and turned to her, his hand caressing her bare arm. “I’ll be with you as soon as I can. Just a few minutes.” He tried to slip his arm around her but one of the other men grabbed him, drunkenly reminiscing. James laughed. “You go on up, I’ll not be far behind. But I don’t know there’s much to talk about.”

  She didn’t acknowledge his suggestive words, didn’t move her head, her face or her eyes, just looked at him as if he were a stranger, as if she were looking at him from a distance. “We need to talk,” she repeated.

  She looked around at the group of men who he was chatting to, people she recognized from the wine industry. They took no notice of her, as she expected. She was insignificant, unnoticeable in this glamorous world, wanted only because she could bring James a child, wanted only because she could take James’s painful past away because she’d forgiven him, because she trusted him. What a joke!

  She stepped away and hesitated but James’s attention was soon bound up in the animated conversation with the others. She took another step away and the swirling crowds immediately separated her from James. She knew then that she had to leave.

  She’d been wrong and James had been right. There was nothing to talk about.

  She turned and walked out of the cellar, through the brilliantly lit interiors of the space that now suddenly seemed empty and vast, rather than imposing and brilliant. She walked to the suite she was sharing with James and began to pack.

  Chapter Eleven

  Within thirty minutes she was in a taxi, heading back to San Francisco airport with a maxed out credit card and a return flight home booked. She was so lost in her thoughts that it was only when she was offered refreshments that she looked around and realized she’d been ushered into the First-Class Lounge. Then she saw James approaching and she realized why.

  He walked over to a room and opened the door. “Susie, you can’t go like this. I need to talk to you.”

  “What the hell is there to say?”

  “Give me five minutes. Please.”

  She followed him into the room and sat down, clutching her bag in front of her, as if it held all the grief in the world and she was determined not to let it spill over. She tried to speak but nothing came out. She cleared her throat. “Five minutes. You have five.”

  James stayed where he was, leaning against the door, jacketless on this cold night. “Susie, I wanted to tell you—”

  “That you were engaged to another woman while you made love to me? While you insisted I trust you, forgive you? Yes, I can see why you didn’t tell me.”

  “It wasn’t like that. You met Amanda. She’s a friend, it was an arrangement we thought would suit. It’s over. It’s all over. I’m so sorry but I never imagined that we could begin again.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me, truly, James, why?”

  “Because I was scared you wouldn’t understand. I couldn’t risk it.”

  “So you lied to me instead.”

  She watched him slump back against the door for a moment—his shirt was wet with rain, his tie pulled loose, his eyes hot and intense. “Susie, I—”

  She held up her arm to stop him but he came over to her and tried to pull her into his arms. Her stomach plummeted and a dry retch racked her body. She clamped her hand to her mouth and pushed him away, as a cold sweat swept over her. His hand slid down her arm as she tried to escape but he continued to hold her hand in a tight grip, stopping her from leaving his side.

  “James, let me go.”

  “No.” He tugged her to him and pulled down her other hand to secure her more firmly to him. “No, not until you listen to me.” She looked up into his eyes and for the first time couldn’t keep the distance that she’d trained herself to keep. Her eyes filled with tears and she felt them slide down her face, exposing her heart and soul.

  “Are you happy now?” she half-choked. “Got what you wanted, James?”

  He shook his head and she could see the pain in his eyes. “I wanted to make things better for you, not worse. And they still can be, if you just listen to me.”

  “I don’t want to listen to you. Every time I listen to you I end up believing you, trusting you.” She shoved the tears off her face with the heel of her hand, determined to look him in the eye with strength. “Do you know what it’s like when you’ve totally exposed yourself to someone, given of yourself, only to be tossed aside? Only to discover that”—she gulped in air as she struggled to get the words out—“you weren’t the main attraction, you were just some side-dish before the main show started.” She exhaled jerkily. “Go, James. Go off to your big world with your stupid big ideas and big attractions. I’m just me. Small. Insignificant. Me.” She tried to shake off his hands. “Christ! I have to get out of here.” She tried to step towards the door but he still held her hand firmly.

  “The flight isn’t for another two hours.”

  “Right.” She shook her head, needing the throbbing to subside so she could think clearly. “I have nowhere to go. I’m stuck here with you until you decide I can leave.”

  “You can leave whenever you like.”

  “Then move out the way.”

  He gritted his teeth. “Don’t do this to me. Don’t leave like this. Not until you’ve heard me out.”

  “Why not? Do you think I’m going to embarrass you? Is that it? I’ll embarrass you by telling everyone that I’ve just humiliated myself with the one person in the world I needed to protect myself from? Hey? Don’t worry about that. I’m not leaving. You are. Go back to Amanda and that grand world of yours. It’s not my world, never has and never will be. It’s yours. Go.”

  “I’m not going until you hear me out.”

  “For pity’s sake, James, why won’t you just leave?” She was suddenly aware that she was shivering. Shock, she thought absently. Shock, because she’d let the worst thing happen and hadn’t even seen it coming until it was too late.

  “Not this time. Just listen to me.” James brought the sleeve of his silk shirt up and gently wiped away the mascara that had ran down her face. But it made no difference because the tears kept falling. He put his arm around her and brought her to the edge of the sofa and sat her down.

  He went to sit beside her. “No!” She shifted away from him and he jumped up as if burned.

  He sat down in the chair next to her and pushed his hands through his hair. Behind him the window framed the bright lights of the runway. “Christ, Susie. I never meant it to be like this. I didn’t even imagine we could ever be like this again. I had my life and…”

  “And you were bored and want
ed some amusement. Well, you chose the right woman, didn’t you? I’m not one of your sophisticated types who knows what to do when a man seduces her. Never have been and never will be. I guess when you seduced Amanda she knew exactly how to handle you.”

  He’d been holding his head in his hands but looked up at her then, and the grief in his eyes nearly undid her.

  “You’re absolutely right. Amanda is an old friend.”

  “Lucky you. You have so many old friends to choose from.”

  “She’s not as old a friend as you.”

  “How nice for you. A younger version of me.”

  “She’s nothing like you.” He felt for her hand and grabbed it. “Just listen, Suse.” He cleared his throat and sucked in a deep breath. “Amanda and I had an arrangement. She doesn’t love me and I don’t love her.”

  “You’d marry someone you don’t love? What the hell kind of man are you?”

  His dull gaze held hers. “A man desperate for a life that isn’t filled with emptiness.”

  “And why would you think a loveless marriage would fill your life?”

  “Because it’s better than nothing. And nothing was all I had.”

  “So…” she trailed off, trying to understand. “How would a woman you don’t love complete your life?”

  He hesitated, holding her gaze. “She has three great kids.”

  “Oh, yes. I forgot. Stupid me.” She exhaled all the confusion, dispelled all her hope in that one word. “Kids. You wanted kids. You can’t have them. Apparently.” She lifted her face slowly to his, the lights of the runway illuminating the smooth planes of his face, enhancing his perfection even further. “So she told me. What was that all about?”

  “I… I arranged a vasectomy, soon after I left New Zealand. I was upset over what happened with you. I guess it was some kind of way to punish myself.”

  “No kids. And you changed your mind and that’s why you wanted me. You thought my son, was your son. Your last chance.”