Three Months to Forever

by Hudson Lin

  He stopped and slumped over, bracing his elbows on his knees. Ben shifted closer, pressing himself along Sai’s back and slipping one hand around to hug Sai’s waist. Sai put his hand over top of Ben’s and squeezed it. Ben hugged him back tighter.

  Ben pressed kisses on Sai’s neck, little gentle ones as Sai pulled himself together. He could tell the exact moment Sai was okay: the set of his shoulders shifted, the line of his back did too. The change was subtle, but it caught Ben’s attention like a flare.

  When Sai turned around, his eyes were dark, lips pressed firmly together. He brought their clasped hands up and kissed the back of Ben’s knuckles. Shudders ran through Ben at the simple touch of lips against his skin.

  “Ben.” There was a touch of hesitation in Sai’s voice.

  “Yes?”

  Sai kept his eyes downcast, his thumb rubbing circles across Ben’s hand. “I have a certain taste in the bedroom. You may have picked up on it the last time.”

  Ben thought back to the way Sai had ordered him around, manhandled him and pressed him into the bed, taken control and fucked him so hard Ben’s whole body had been aching and sore the next day. The sex was definitely more intense than Ben’s previous experiences, and he had loved it. He couldn’t wait for a repeat performance.

  But “a certain taste”? He wasn’t entirely sure what Sai meant. “Can you be more specific?”

  Sai looked up and caught Ben’s gaze. The pause was long enough that Ben wondered if Sai would drop the conversation altogether.

  Sai took a deep breath. “I tend to be aggressive in bed. Other partners have taken issue with it in the past. I need to know if you are okay with it.”

  Ben cocked his head. “You mean the whole telling me what to do thing? And holding my hands above my head?”

  Sai narrowed his eyes and twisted his lips into a half smile like he was remembering what he had done to Ben last time. “Yes, and similar things.”

  Ben’s heart rate ratcheted up at the implication of other similar things Sai might do to him in bed. “I think it’s hot.”

  “You like it?” Sai sounded a little skeptical, like he couldn’t quite believe it was true.

  “Yeah, I think I do.”

  “You have not had a partner like me before.”

  A sliver of doubt wound around Ben. Was he too inexperienced for Sai? “No, I haven’t. Is that a problem?”

  Sai shook his head slowly, exuding an authority that had Ben’s heart skittering in its rush to keep up with the demands of his body. “No, it is not a problem. But you must tell me if I push too hard. If you say stop, I stop. If you say no, I stop. Do you understand?”

  Oh yes, he understood and his mind ran wild with what Sai might do to him—with what he wanted Sai to do to him. Ben nodded.

  “I have to hear you say it. Do you understand?” Sai’s voice was lower now, like he was keeping himself tightly controlled.

  “I understand.” Ben couldn’t speak above a whisper, but it must have been enough.

  Sai stood abruptly and held out his hand. It was an invitation to new experiences that Ben simply could not turn down. As he slipped his hand into Sai’s, his skin tingled with anticipation and his gut clenched in desire.

  He followed Sai to the bed and lay back as Sai pressed him down. Sai bent for a kiss, slipping his tongue into Ben’s mouth like a warm knife through soft butter, and pleasure sliced through Ben’s body as their tongues met. The kiss stole Ben’s breath away, leaving him dizzy, lusting for more.

  “Please,” he whispered, pushing Sai away with his hands.

  Sai narrowed his eyes at him, but after another whimpered please, Sai allowed him the freedom to flip their positions. Kneeling next to Sai was a powerful feeling. Not because the position gave him the advantage but because Sai had willingly lain down for him, giving him the reins.

  It was all the more potent given the conversation they just had. Sai said he was aggressive; he liked to control and dictate their pleasure. But here he was, lain out for Ben to do with as he pleased.

  Ben’s hands trembled as he reached for the buttons of Sai’s shirt and undid them one by one. Underneath Sai wore a white tank top. It hugged his body, leaving nothing to the imagination, and his nipples stood out against the fabric.

  Ben drank in the sight of Sai, fit and trim from regular tennis sessions and swims in the pool. He tugged up the tank top and ran his hands along Sai’s skin, the warmth of Sai’s body seeping into his palms. When he reached Sai’s nipples, they were already little nubs, hardened with desire, and Ben wasted no time in covering one of them with his mouth while using his free hand to tease and pinch the other. The rapid rise and fall of Sai’s chest underneath him gave Ben the confidence to ghost one hand down toward Sai’s crotch and palm the bulge he found there.

  Sai dug his fingers into Ben’s hair and held his head in place while he widened his legs to give Ben greater access. With a dexterity that surprised even him, Ben tugged at Sai’s belt until it came undone and somehow managed to get his hand down the front of Sai’s pants to reach his prize. He wasn’t disappointed. Sai was plump and growing harder with each pull of Ben’s mouth on Sai’s nipple and each nip of his teeth.

  “Ben,” Sai growled, low and rumbly, hitting Ben deep in the core of his being. “Suck my dick.”

  Oh yes. Please.

  Ben moved to release Sai from the confines of his pants and dove down on the beautiful cock that emerged. Ben loved to suck dick and was pretty proud of his technique. He pushed himself until his nose rubbed against Sai’s neatly trimmed pubic hairs and reveled in the way Sai’s cock slipped down his throat. Sai must have liked that too because the growling grew louder.

  Sai tugged on his hair, and Ben came up for breath. But instead of releasing so he could continue, Sai kept him where he was with a hand on Ben’s head and thrust his hips up to fuck Ben’s mouth. It was Ben’s turn to growl as he relaxed his throat and let Sai pump his cock in and out at his leisure.

  Ben lost track of time as Sai fucked his mouth, his mind blissing out to the feeling of a cock filling his throat. By the time Sai let him go and he flopped onto his back, he was lost in a haze of lust, and all he knew was his dick was so hard it hurt. He didn’t notice Sai shedding the rest of his clothes or pulling out lube and a condom from the drawer underneath the bed. He barely stirred when Sai undressed him with less-than-steady hands, fingers lingering over his highly sensitized skin.

  Sai lay next to him, close enough for his dick, still hard and wet from Ben’s mouth, to press against Ben’s hip. “I love how hairy you are,” Sai breathed as he raked his fingers across Ben’s chest.

  The heat of a blush blossomed across Ben’s ears and spread to his chest were Sai’s fingernails had left their mark on him.

  “Don’t be embarrassed.” Sai tugged at some of the hair, and pleasure shot through Ben’s body, disproportionate to the smallness of the trigger. “I like it.”

  Sai bent over for a kiss, and all thoughts of embarrassment fled from Ben’s mind, replaced by the feeling of Sai’s tongue in his mouth, Sai’s hand on his dick, Sai’s leg thrown over his thighs. He wasn’t ready to stop kissing when Sai pulled away.

  “Turn over.”

  Ben flipped himself around, pillowing his cheek on his forearms. Sai worked his hands down his back, seeking out all the knots and tight spots in the same way he had during the impromptu massage on the boat. By the time those magic hands made it to his ass, Ben was a pile of goo, in danger of seeping into the mattress.

  “Your muscles are so tight,” Sai admonished. “You need to relax more. It’s not healthy to be this wound up.”

  Ben moaned his agreement but was in no position to point out the irony in Sai’s statement. On his ass, Sai’s hands rose to the next level of wizardry. He kneaded the big muscles and worked out the kinks Ben didn’t even know could exist down there. When Sai finally dipped his fingers into his crease and sought out his hole, Ben didn’t have the strength to arch up and meet him
halfway.

  He forced Ben’s legs apart with a knee between his thighs, then forced them even farther with the other one. He felt Sai tracing his hole, dipping the tip of his finger inside. First just a little to tease, then a little more until Ben was hungry for it, aching for it. But just one finger wasn’t enough. He wanted to be filled to the brim, to overflowing.

  He whimpered, “Please, Sai. Please.”

  A growl came from behind him, loud and possessive, and a shiver of anticipation ran down his back as Sai dealt with the foil-wrapped condom and leaned over him. The initial breach of his body was always his favorite part, but when Sai’s dick entered him while he was held immobile by one hand pressing against the middle of his back and the other holding on to his hip, it was the best feeling in the whole world.

  Ben groaned and reached his hands out to brace himself for the fucking that was sure to come. Instead Sai captured his hands and brought them around his back, held in place, wrist over wrist. He had no leverage like this, nothing to push against; he could only take whatever Sai dished out. Ben’s heart raced as he thrilled at how vulnerable he was with Sai in control.

  Sai fucked him slowly at first, then fast, then slow, varying his speed and depth until Ben couldn’t keep up with it. He could only lie there, moaning into the bedsheets while clenching his ass, trying to keep Sai inside of him. Sai changed his angle, and the head of his cock ran right over Ben’s prostate. Bursts of pleasure shot through him, every nerve ending on high alert as wave after wave of sensation followed. He was so close, his cock trapped underneath him, pinned by the strength of Sai’s fucking. He just needed one stroke, just one touch, and he would explode.

  “You want to come, don’t you?” Sai’s voice echoed in his ear.

  “Yes! Please, yes!” The pleas coming from his mouth didn’t sound like his voice.

  “Maybe I should make you wait.” Sai’s words were accompanied by little nips of his ear, and Ben’s head spun with the shocks that came with each bite.

  “No! Please! Please, let me come. Please!”

  A growl sounded in his ear, reverberating through and filling him, distracting him from the shift in Sai’s position and the hand he’d snuck under his stomach and wrapped around his cock. Suddenly he was coming, lights exploding behind his eyelids, body shaking from sensation overload. His climax dragged on with Sai’s face buried into the side of his neck and Sai’s dick rocking repeatedly across his prostate.

  Blissed out, he was barely aware of Sai reaching his own orgasm and collapsing in a heap on top of him. He hardly noticed Sai pulling out of him and rearranging them so he snuggled against Sai’s side. Ben only knew peace and calm and a satisfaction that ran far deeper than skin and bones and flesh.

  Chapter Eight

  Tuesday, September 19

  BEN STUCK a forkful of salad in his mouth and opened up a web browser. He stared at the blinking cursor for a moment, debating whether internet stalking Sai was a bad idea. He settled his fingers on the keyboard, but before he could type anything, Mo poked his head over the top of Ben’s computer monitor. Ben snatched his fingers back from the keyboard as if he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

  “Hey, are you busy this afternoon?” Mo asked with a slight frown creasing his forehead.

  “Uh, nope, not really. What’s up?”

  “Stella needs help with that new know-your-client system. Can you walk her through it? I’m so slammed right now.”

  “Sure, I can do that right after lunch.” Ben mentally rearranged his afternoon.

  “Perfect. Thanks so much, man.” Mo’s head disappeared when he sat back down.

  Not two seconds later, several new emails popped up in his inbox, and Ben spent the next thirty minutes answering them, his salad sitting forgotten next to him. When he finished, he went back to the blank browser and its blinking cursor. He knew he shouldn’t stalk, but even as he admonished himself, his fingers drifted back to the keyboard.

  He typed Sai Hei Kwok in the search bar and then busied himself with the rest of the salad before he worked up the courage to look at the results. The third hit was a link to Sai’s profile at his law firm.

  Ben hesitated before clicking on the link, feeling like he was invading Sai’s privacy. But all this was public domain, information floating out there for anyone to see. Just because he happened to stumble on it didn’t make him a stalker, right?

  Sure, Ben lied to himself and clicked on the link before he changed his mind again. The picture posted on the page showed Sai with a stern look in his eyes and a slight upturn of the lips—not enough to call it a smile. He looked commanding and in control, like you could trust him to sort out your problems with cool efficiency.

  Ben’s stomach fluttered in reaction to the photo. A part of him thrilled at the authority oozing from the simple online picture. But then he remembered what Sai tended to use that cool efficiency for. He scanned the short biography, which listed educational credits and previous work experience that lined up with Ben’s understanding of Sai’s history. Then he went back to the search results.

  On the second page was an article about the protests at one of the Leungs’ factories. Demonstrators had tried to barricade the entrance to the factory, and they hung up a giant red banner that condemned the Leungs as barbarians. Sai was quoted in the article defending his clients and praising police for having arrested those who disturbed the peace.

  Ben sat back in his chair at those words. They sounded so unlike the Sai he knew.

  At the bottom of the page were links to other related articles, and Ben clicked on one. It took him to another piece of reporting that was a couple of years old, also about the Leungs and their factories. In this one a reporter had posed as an employee and snuck into a factory that was manufacturing clothing. He documented the abhorrent working conditions—long shifts, no breaks, poor pay, and forced overtime. The article had accompanying pictures; they showed dingy interiors with sketchy lighting, washrooms that looked disgusting, and workstations packed so tightly they were in violation of fire codes. And the Leungs were reported to be millionaires—multimillionaires.

  Ben’s salad sat like a brick in his stomach.

  Sai was again quoted in this article. His comments read as banal defenses of his clients. Ben doubted Sai actually believed in the innocence of his clients, but it was still painful to see those words written in black and white.

  He closed out the window, pushed away from his desk, and leaned back in his chair. The words from the articles ran through his head, clashing with the image of Sai who spoke passionately about human rights and civil liberties. Ben sat there for a while, staring up at the ceiling until the mostly empty office space began refilling with those returning from lunch. He checked the time and then picked up the phone to give Stella a ring.

  She picked up almost immediately, and once Ben confirmed she wasn’t busy, he headed over to her desk. It didn’t take long to walk her through the new system, but when they were done, Ben didn’t leave immediately.

  In a low voice, as if he were inquiring about contraband, he asked, “So you’re Chinese, right?”

  Stella laughed good-naturedly. “Yeah, but my family’s from Taiwan, not Hong Kong.”

  “But, like, a lot of the traditions are the same, right?”

  “Yeah, sure, most of them. Why?”

  “So….” Ben paused, elbows braced on his knees, wondering how best to phrase his question. “Is it a thing for children, like adult children, to do what their parents say even if they don’t agree?”

  Stella’s eyebrows rose in surprise before she frowned. “I guess it depends on the situation. I mean, filial piety is definitely a thing, if that’s what you’re asking. Respecting your elders is huge in Chinese culture.”

  “Right, filial piety, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Aren’t there limitations to that?”

  “Yeah, of course. If they’re asking you to do something illegal, it’s probably not a good idea to do wha
t they say.”

  Ben sat back, Sai’s dilemma weighing heavy on his mind.

  “What’s all this about?” Stella asked.

  “It’s Sai,” Ben confessed. “He’s in a job he hates because his dad wants him to do it. And he kind of works for terrible people because they’re friends with his parents.”

  “Oh shit.” Stella looked sympathetic, which only made Ben feel worse about the situation.

  “Is that normal?” He really hoped it was, that he could explain away Sai’s behavior as a cultural difference he would never understand.

  Stella grimaced. “I don’t know. It sounds kind of extreme. I guess it’s possible that he’s so traditional that he would do what his parents said with no question, but most people in our generation aren’t that traditional anymore.”

  Well, fuck if that didn’t poke a hole in his theory. If it wasn’t cultural, then it was just Sai.

  “Sorry, that probably wasn’t the answer you were looking for, was it?” Her smile was kind but held a hint of sadness.

  Ben smiled in spite of himself and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it out. Thanks for your help.” He stood and pushed his borrowed chair back to the desk he’d stolen it from.

  “You’re welcome. I’m always happy to listen or answer questions about weird Chinese cultural things. You know where to find me.”

  Ben took the long route back to his desk and dropped into his chair with a sigh.

  He liked Sai—there was no question about that. He hadn’t felt this way about a guy in a long time, if ever. But then Sai wasn’t like any of his ex-boyfriends. Sai was more mature and refined, but also more complicated. So much more complicated.

  Ben sat up straight as the pieces clicked in his head. He liked the complication. It was Sai’s intricacies and layers Ben found so enticing. Sure, the whole thing with his parents was a little fucked-up, but that was a part of who Sai was. Ben might not understand it, but that was a challenge he definitely wanted to tackle.