Finding Him

by Naomi Townsend

  How dare you say I haven’t done anything for them I love those kids like they were mine!” Anika steps back so she can see both of her parents “ and what have I gotten in return? No thanks. No gratitude. Just constant griping about each other. And I finally found somebody who cares about me and is willing to come help me if I need it no questions asked, and y'all nearly blow a fuse! Am I nkt himan enough to be recognized as your child and nkt some one who bothers or annohs you? Am i that worthless to you? Now all lf a sudden youre worries about my life andh find me at fault for havjng a boy over when i couldnt ask youe person becuase botb of y'all wer passed out?

  "I'm suffocating in my own misery and acting like eveything is okay. Some nighta I cant breathe thinking about all of this crap! I'm exhausted and I'm trying to stay checked in but everyday more and more I want to checkout. To drop everything and run away from this life of dsyfunction." Anika looks at both of her parents. “I thought we were a Christian household but were not apparently. But, yet and still I haven’t told those kids anything about you I have beared my pain in silence and this is the thanks I get. It's greatly appreciated." she says sarcastically.

  They all stare at each other and finally Paul breaks the silence. In a low voice he says “Get out.” Anika doesn’t move she isn’t sure if he’s serious. “Get out of my house Anika. I don’t ever want to see you again,” he says. Anika still doesn’t move. Her mom throws a bag at her and pushes towards the door. Anika opens the door and before she can turn around her dad is in between the life she knew and her new life. “I wouldn’t even bother showing up at school, church, or anywhere I have put my money into. You better not talk to OUR kids if you do I will put a restraining order so thick you’ll have to move out the city,” Paul Wilson says and slams the door in her face. Anika looks around she feels the world spinning faster around her. She starts to walk down the sidewalk towards the street. She feels like she's draghimg the heaviest weight down the street. She can't seem to think straight she jist keeps moving down the street. "Left, right, left, right, dont trip," she murmurs to herself.

  Anika reaches the end of hee neighborhood and turns around to look. Years run down her cheeks she turns around and walks out of the neighborhood. She walks downtown starimg blankly ahead and reminding herself to keep walking. She looks stops at the park and sits on a bench. For a moment the world stops spinning. She cloeses her eyes and drifts off into a swirling storm of darkness. Her thougths ans fears come to life amd the doubts and fears try to suffocate her. She tries to get out but she can't. Then sudddenly everything starts shaking. She opens her eyes to see a worried mom shaking her awake, as her two kids look. "Are you okay, sweetie?" Anika looks around "ummm... yeah I'm okay," she says disoriented. "It seemed like you were having a panic attack and I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said looking concerned. "Thanks for checking on me I'll be alright," Anika says getting up. She walks down the street planning. "Hey," a voice from behind Anika says. She keeps walking not recognizing the voice. "Hey, Anika where are you going?" Anika stops and turns around. As soom as she turns around she is embraced in the strongest and softest body she has ever felt. "Emmy just texted me what happened. You're going to stay with me tonight. And we'll sort the rest out tomorrow or whenever you can. Let's go."

  A thing to know about Anderson is that he is a child genius. He graduated high school when he was 15. He was accepted on a full scholarship to William Bay University and his parents bought him an apartment for the four years he’d live in Williamson Bay. He’s not the rich preppy type he has a job to pay the lights, heat, groceries, clothes, and other expenses.

  The short car ride to Anderson's is quite. He watches Anika carefully as she gets out of the car and into his apartment. For the next hour they sit next to each other in silence. After an hour of sitting Anika turns to Anderson and explains everything that had happened. After she explained everythimg Anderson just gave her a hug. He understood that his words were not going tl be affective in this situation, but his prescence would.

  Anika was still in shock. Her mind spun with worries and troubles and suddenly Anderson’s voice cut through her thoughts. She realized that he was praying for God to strength her and her family in their time of distress. He asked God to show up and show out as only He can. When he had finished praying Anika was trembling with tears streaming down her face. He went over to her and cradled her rocking back and forth whispering to her shaking body in between heart wrenching cries he said repeated Jeremiah 29:11. “I know the thoughts that I think towards you says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a hope and a future.” He prayed in his heart that in her darkest hour Jesus would shine the brightest he had ever for her.

  Chapter 5

  So That Happened. What Now? Anika and Anderson sit next to each other on the couch. They haven’t spoken in about thirty minutes. Her tears have stopped and everything is setting in. The sky blue walls in Anderson’s apartment are a contrast to her feelings right now, she finds the wall annoying, taunting her with happiness when she’s trying to figure out how to feel. She finally turns to Anderson and says casually “ wanna eat?” For the next hour and a half the two cook dinner. It's an elaborate meal of spaghetti and cheesy bread, and cake for dessert. Anderson cooks while Anika bakes the cake. Cooking takes the edge off of the situation and puts Anika in a clearer headspace. By the time everything is ready Anika feels ready to talk about the next steps she’ll have to take.

  The two seat at the table they pray and dig into it. The food is delicious so much so they don’t talk until they’ve finished eating. They talk over cake and milk. “ So do you have any idea what’s the next step,” Anderson asks. “ I’m going to take my GED. I’ve been contemplating it for awhile so this is kind of a push into that,” Anika says poking at her cake. “I contacted Williams University a few months ago and they said if I took my GED I could still take classes, so I’ll probably start classes in a few weeks. Registration for classes starts in a couple of weeks. That gives me enough time to get grants, scholarships, and financial aid if I need it,” she says. “I have to get a new job because my dad got me that job at the firm and he said everything connected to him that he’s done for me is not available to me anymore,” a tear escapes her eye she doesn’t notice it. Anderson listens to her plan, his heartaches seeing her suffer so much. “ I’ve had my name on the GED test list and I've taken the classes so that's taken care of all I have to do is get a job," she says. “Oh and I have to change phone carriers,” she says sadly. Anika gets up from the table she’s obviously a again million miles away. Planning had taken the little joy she had. She cleans up the kitchen and goes back to the couch. She picks her bag up off the floor and looks inside there’s nothing of her’s in it just socks. And a notes on top of the pile. It said:

  Dear Anika Lynn (find a new last name). We are writing to inform you of the cancellation dates of any remnants of you from our live.

  Phone Bill off by 12:00 a.m. today.

  School has already been notified to escort you off the premises if they see you.

  I’ve told your boss you’ve won’t be coming back. He issued a final payment but all the money you’ve made and hidden has come under our possession as rent and utilities.

  Your room has already been cleaned out we have nothing of yours.

  You will also find a restraining order attached.

  All number have been changed and we’re moving at the end of the week.

  And you are not insured.

  Martha and Paul Wilson. Anika throws the bag across the room and screams in frustration. "I cant believe this," she whispers. She sits down on the couch and turns on the T.V. Anderson watches her from the kitchen. She binge watches the "Guardian," until 2:00 a.m. She turns to Anderson who ks fighting off sleep in a chair nexg to the couch. "What if CPS finds out. I'm not emancipated my parents still legally are my guardians. I don't want to go into foster care!" She spins off into a tunnel of worries and anxity “Marry me,” Ander
son says. Anika snaps back into reality. “Say what now?" “ Marry me,” he says again. “ Woooaah buddy. Just hold on a precious second." Anika looks at Anderson trying to figure out if he's serious. He seems to be. "Okay I get it If we get married then CPS can’t take me because we’re both 16 and have basically stable lives. I going to get a job and you have a job you have a joband an apartment up to code,” she says thoughtfully. “Right,” Anderson says. The two looked at each other and saw the first glimmer of hope. “ Okay you set it up." Anika says.

  With one plan out of the way and a little peace Anika drifts to sleep. Her sleep is restless and she finally gets up. She looks at the clock and realizes she’s only slept for thirty minutes. She tries for thirty more minutes to go to sleep. She finally gives up and goes in search of a Bible. She finds one on top of the table. She flips through it in hopes of finding a scripture that will help her. She lands on Psalms 34:17-20, Anderson must have needed that scripture to because it was highlighted. Verse 18 stood out to her the most though it said “ The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a contrite ( feeling or expressing remorse).” She read that section over and over again until she had it in her brain. The words gave her a comfort that she needed and an unexplainable peace. She asked God to give her directions for the day and to guide to where she was supposed to go.

  Anderson got up a couple hours later. Anika found a box of cereal and sat it out for the both of them to eat. “So you found the Bible I left for you,” he asked with a smile. She still couldn’t get over how adorable his smile was. “It wasn’t that hard to find,” she replied with a smile matching his. “ I have to go to school today. Are you gonna be okay,” Anderson asked with a concerned look on his face. “I’m gonna be fine Anika assured him. I’m going to go to school and say bye to my siblings I don’t care if they find me and kick me out,” she says her spoon hitting the bottom of her bowl with a clang. “ I just have to say bye ya know? Then I’ll walk around downtown for a little see if I can find a job,” she says confidently. Anderson nods in agreement with her plan. He gets up to put his bowl in the sink. “ So we can do it on Friday if you want?,” he says. “ That’s perfect!” Anika says. She puts her bowl in the sink and heads towards the door. “I’ll see you later okay?,” she says. “ Okay,” anderson says form in the kitchen.

  Anika heads downstairs. She keeps her head down and hustles out the door. It’s a forty minute walk to the school so she’ll get there just before they get to class. Anika runs across town to the school. She arrives out of breath barely making it. She sees her siblings in a cluster together. She looks around for her mom’s car she doesn’t see it. So she hurries across the field separating her from the parking lot trying to draw as little attention as she can to herself. She reaches where her siblings are and Dan spots her. She motions for him to come over. Dan runs behind the building to Anika. The rest of his siblings follow no one seems to care. When they see Anika they rush to her with distressed looks on the face. Her baby sisters grip her legs. Anika explains with tears in her eyes why she’s not coming with them to the new house. She doesn’t disrespect her parents in anyway. They all huddle into a hug of sorts. Everyone is crying her baby sisters hug her legs tightly begging her not to leave them. She musters up every piece of strengths she ahs and prys their hands off. She takes tissue from her pocket and wipes their faces. She hugs them individually and whispers how much she loves them and how they’re going to see each other again this is just a rough part. She tells them too watch out for each other and to protect each other. “ I love you guys so so much, don’t ever forget that,” she says as tears stream down her cheeks. She hugs them all one more time and hurries them to class. After they are all in class she hurries off campus. She feels like her heart has been shattered into five trillion pieces. She starts walking towards downtown. She walks past storefront after storefront for hours. It’s lunch time but she doesn’t have anything to eat so she keeps walking. Around 1:30 she walks into a toy shop it just seemed like something she needed to do. As soon as she walked in a woman in her late 70s rushes up to her. “Are you here for the job?,” she asks in a sweet voice. Anika hadn’t even seen the sign in the window. She replies yes to the woman because she needs a job. The woman is relieved and hires her on the stop. They go in the back to sign some papers and the woman ( Mrs. Margie) gives her a five hundred dollar bonus. Anika’s heart is bursting with gratitude towards the woman she thanks her grabs her uniform and starts working. She works until 5:00 that evening (the shop closes at 5:00) and she was out by 5:15. She walked out of the store smiling. Right next to the store there is a Monty Mobile she goes in to get a new phone plan. After she finishes at Monty’s she text Anderson that she’s on her way home. As she walks towards the bus she sees Debbie. The two greet each other with excitement glad to see each other. Anika asks Debbie is she wants to meet for breakfast and shopping the next day. Debbie agrees and the two girls part ways.

  Anika arrives at the apartment around 7:00 and heads upstairs. She’s had such a day she laughs to herself thinking about the day she’s had. Her heart is still broken but things are starting to look up. She knocks on the door to Anderson’s apartment he opens the door dressed in jeans and a nice shirt this confuses Anika. She walks in and notices there's only ome light on in the whole apartment Anderson takes her hand and guides her into the light. He turns her to face him and takes both of her hands and asks “Will you be my girlfriend Anika?” Anika’s confused but says yes. The light switches to another part of the room and he takes her hand again and they walk into the light. He pulls a square box out of his pocket and opens it “ Will you move in with me Anika?” Laughing Anika replies you know I cant do that. Anderson smiles "just thought I'd ask," The lights changes again but this time the room is candlelit and there’s rose petals making a sort of walkway(think early seasons of the Bachelor). Anderson gets down on one knee he says “ Anika you’re the best girl I have ever met. You are strong, loving, and fearless and I don’t think I could ever live my life without you. I want you to be my.... wow you’re gorgeous. Will you marry me Anika Lynn?” Anika is smiling from ear to ear “ Yes,” she says happily. And for the first time they kiss. It was unintentional but sweet. Suddenly the lights come on and a guy stands up he looks about 17. “ Alright you two calm down! I did not sign up to see all of this,” he says smiling. Anderson pulls away from Anika smiling. “ This is my best friend Chris,” Anderson says. Chris walks up to Anika and looks her up and down with the most serious face he can muster he turns to Anderson and says “ I like her,” he says and wraps Anika into a big hug. Anderson excuses himself to finish preparing dinner leaving Chris and Anika to talk. They got to know each other a little while Anderson finished dinner. Finally it was time to eat.

  Anderson had went to the store and bought ingredients for a lavish meal of chicken parm and vegetables. He called them into the kitchen so they could eat. Chris said grace and everyone dug in. After dinner Chris and Anderson cleaned the kitchen while Anika told them about her crazy day. After the kitchen was cleaned Anderson and Chris came back to sit at the table. Chris looked at Anika sincerely and asked her why’d they were getting married ( Anderson had not told him because he felt telling him was a violation of Anika’s privacy). Anika explained the story to him from beginning. He was blown away to say the least. He just sat with a look of shock on his face for a long time. Then he looked at Anika and Anderson and was in awe. “ So you’re my best man Chris,” Anderson said breaking the silence. “Obviously,” Chris replied. “I think I’m going to ask Debbie to be my maid of honor,” Anika says. “Yeah! She’s cool,” Anderson says. The three stayed up late talking about plans for the wedding and over things. By the time Chris left it was the next day. Anderson and Anika said goodnight and Anika slept for a few hours peacefully that night.

  Chapter 6

  I Hear the Bells Anika opened her eyes with a smile on her face ready to face the day. She sat up and the events of the past week came
flooding back. The weight of her sadness pushed her onto her back. She cried silently her heart hurt so much it was physically stopping her. She fought hard to get up off the couch she forced herself to get to the table she finally got there and opened the Bible she landed on Psalms 32:7 she read it calming her. She read Psalms 34:17-20 and 1 Corinthians 10:13. The scriptures stabilized her she found safety in them.

  Anika left the apartment before Anderson got up and ran to the school. She got there just in time to see her siblings walking out of school with boxes in hand. Today they were leaving. She wanted so badly to run over and say goodbye. But, she knew that would cause more pain for them so she ducked behind a tree and made her way downtown.

  Just as Anika was nearing the restaurant she spotted Debbie. She walked over and noticed Debbie had already gotten them food. She gave her a hug and thanked her for getting the food. “What’s wrong Anika?,” Debbie asked sincerely. “ I got kicked out, my family is moving away from me, I’m getting married tomorrow, and I feel like I’m falling apart,” Anika admitted. Debbie takes Anika’s hand in her’s “ let’s go for a walk,” she says. The two girls walk and talk for a long time explaining the challenges the both of them are facing.

  After a while the girls come to a park bench and sit down. Debbie looks around with a smile that lights up her eyes. “This is the first place I saw David and the last place I saw him before he died,” Debbie says to Anika. Anika looks at Debbie and sees the happiness on her face. “He loved this place,” she says. “He told me it was the most beautiful place where he met the most beautiful girl.” Anika looks around the park is very beautiful. It's almost like a dream the grass is lucious and vibrant, the Willow trees make it look like a hidden green, and the mist makes it seem almost magical. “He told me that he'd had some real heart to hearts with God out here. He told me he felt closest to Him out here,” Debbie says. “He was gonna be such an amazing dad,” she whispers. They sit in thoughtful silence in the serenity of the garden. Anika looks at her watch and realizes she has to go to work. She asks Debbie to go shopping for their dresses and asks her to call Chris for the information about the wedding and stuff and hurries to work.