Finding Him

by Naomi Townsend

  A little later into the night her mom came into her room and sat on her bed. She explained that her dad had overreacted and that she was not in any serious trouble but she did need to let them know where she was at when she's running late. Her mom left without giving Anika a chance to say anything. Anika was left on her bed confused, but she just hoped she wouldn't be the topic of tonight's discussion.

  Chapter 2 The Search Continues

  Or The Calm Before the Storm "What happened to us babe? What happened to US? Where did we go wrong?" Paul asked laying on his bed. Martha rattled by the sincerity of the questions took a moment before she replied. She turned over on her side to face her husband, his face sparkled in the moonlit room, she couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him look the way he looks tonight. She finally answers his questions with the same sincerity he had asked his questions in, "When you stopped coming home and I became a single mother." Martha's words slice into his heart, he replies a little defensively " What do you mean when I stopped coming home? I'm right here aren't I?" Martha sighs heavily she's tired of all the fighting so she attempts to close the late night session before it escalates. But, Paul desperately wants the answer to his question. Martha tries to think of a way to answer the question that won't hurt her husband but decides if he wants the truth so badly then she'll give it to him. She finally replies calmly " You're so consumed with your job and providing for us you're not here. Sure your body is but my Paul is not here he hasn't been in awhile." The tension in the room is thick, how do you react to someone diminishing the one thing you think you're doing right. Paul was under the impression that he was being a great provider maybe he had let somethings slide but he was still involved. Martha's answer is one-sided she works just as much as her husband sometimes even more. But, she reasons because she is downstairs to greet her children before they leave for school, cleans the house (occasionally), cooks and is home more often meant than Paul meant she was showing up in her kids life more than Paul. Just because you're physically in someone's life doesn't mean you're their emotionally.

  3:00 a.m. By now Anika has given up on any possibility of sleeping. Her parents had been at it again the argument lasted longer than it ever had that night, the door slammed harder than it had ever slammed, and this time her dad didn't hesitate to pull out the driveway. She had been expecting the two dings subconsciously. When they didn't come her heart dropped to her feet. Was her dad coming home this time? Had this been the last straw? The weight of the world seemed to fall on her shoulders as she thought more and more about the possibility of her dad not coming home. After an hour and a half of pacing the floor reviewing her game plan, incase her dad didn't show up. She went downstairs to fix her siblings lunch for the day. Something had to at least be normalish.

  Anika had become a master lunch maker over the years. She had lunches made, packed, and stored in under ten minutes. After she finished cleaning she returns to her room and starts getting ready for school. Again she tries to fix her baggy eyes (it still doesn't work), she determines she's not going to let that get the best of her.

  Anika wakes up her siblings because her mom hasn't come out of her room yet. Their mom is always up even after the fights, her not bring up worries Anika. Something bad must have happened but she can't figure it out. Her mom is still not up so she makes breakfasts and loads everybody into the van. As they come out of the house Anika checks everyone's backpacks to make sure no one has left important things inside, and hands out lunch. Seeing that her mom is not coming down this morning she drives everyone to school. She makes sure her siblings don't know what happened the night before. She reasons there was no sense in telling them why their parents hadn't been downstairs to greet them this morning amd ruining a perfectly good day. Her brothers and sisters weren’t blind to the issue but she didn't want them knowing the details.

  Siblings can be the most annoying people in the whole universe! But the love that y'all share is like no other love you'll ever have. Even though they get on top, up under, and around your nerves subconsciously you know there's not a lot you wouldn't do to keep them safe. Sometimes you want to keep them safe from the world you've known in hopes they avoid it completely and find something better. To protect them from the dark secrets that lace the Wilson’s life Anika has decided to protect her siblings from the drama. Her plan may or may not backfire but her actions are noble.

  As you grow up you start to see different sides of your parent. You start to see them as humans and not just mom or dad. Realizing your parents are human to and make mistakes is like glass in a perfect world shattering. It's unnerving sometimes but once you see them as human people things shift sometimes good and sometimes unimaginably bad.

  They arrive at school 15 minutes early giving everyone plenty of time to get to class. Anika hugs everyone (even her brothers who try to squirm away) and tells them to have a good day. The four older kids (in middle school) walked to class by themselves and she walks her two younger sisters to the elementary building. After she had dropped them off she hurried to class. She walked into class with two minutes to spare and sat down by her school friends. They were talking about some drama about a girl who was kicked out because she got pregnant and the school didn’t want her sin on display at school or something . Anika didn't understand why the school had kicked the girl out even though they claimed to love everyone as Christ loves. Obviously they're not committed to that statement or they'd let her stay. She wondered if they discriminated the love they showed giving it to the people who did right in their eyes and not giving it to those who needed it. The conversation had left her frustrated and upset, she determined in her heart that she was going to find that girl and show her what real love is. During school Anika forgot about everything at home. But, the girl had stuck with her. She didn't know what she would say to her but she needed to talk to her. She spent the day thinking about how to explain God's true love to her.

  After the final bell Anika goes to gather up her siblings so they could go home. As she walks she checks her phone. As soon as she turned it on she saw messages from her mom and dad asking where they were (as if it were not a school day) and making disturbing threats. Her heart stopped something was very very wrong. She decided she wouldn't take her siblings home. She felt tears of confusion and fear boiling up inside her, but she forced herself had to keep it together no one could know what was going on, especially her siblings.

  While Anika was on the edge of a nervous breakdown Mr. and Mrs. Wilson were having fun at home. Earlier that day Paul and Martha decided to take off early. They hadn’t told each other their plans.Paul arrived home first with his lady friend and within a few margaminutes ( they were drinking if you didn’t get that), things start to escalate. Martha walks in after Paul and hus friends furst round with her little friend. She brings him into the living room unaware that's where Paul and his little friend are. They are shocked to see each other they stared at each other for a minute. They’re “friends” try to exit the situation but Martha suddenly grabs her friend and throws him on the couch and they go at it right in front of Paul! Paul sees this as a challenge and commences round two with his lady. It’s a race to see who finishes first. Not to mention the acohol and drygs that their partners had brought.

  Anika has no idea what is going on with her parents. But she knew she had to calm down before she went any further. She took a deep breath and put her hand on her heart, a tricked she had invented to krep her from crying. She opens her eyes ready to face whatever is next hoping she wouldn't crack under the pressure. She walked over to the middle school building first to get Emmy, Dan, Reese, and Zephaniah. She gives them the keys to start the van and goes to get Marcy and Jada.

  When everyone is in the car Anika tells them that she wasnt tsking them home right then, which starts a storm of “why? I'm hungry! I want to go home!” "Hey!" she yelks over them. "I'm going to take y'all to drumroll please... Playland!!" she exclaims. "Y'all can eat and then play for a little while," she s
ays hoping that would settle them down. Happy chatter breaks out among them as they discuss what they're going to play. Before Anika pulls out the parking lot she texts Anderson to meet her at Playland in 20 minutes.

  All the way to Playland her brothers and sisters devise plans on how to get the most tickets so they can get a big prize. By the time they arrive they are bursting with excitement which makes Anika happy. They get inside and Anika buys their tickets. Her siblings gobble down their food like werewolves and hurry to play. Anika sits in the booth and closes her eyes. She goes into the place between consciousness and subconsciousness, she almost falls asleep when she hears the most beautiful "hey" she has ever heard in her life. She opens her eyes to find Anderson sitting in the booth. Once her eyes adjust she notices he's cleaned off the table and brought her something to eat (Anika didn't get anything for herself when she bought the tickets because 6 tickets were already half her paycheck and who knew when she'd need it again). She hadn't even told him that she hadn't eaten. "Thank you," she said with tears in her voice. " No problem," he said smiling. Anika had never had someone actually take care of her like that before. The two didn't need to talk much they just watched her siblings play for a little bit.

  Anderson noticed Anika hadn't touched her food and lolked kind of lost in her thougts. "Are you gonna eat?," he asked. Anika turned away from watching her brother Zephaniah climb the rock wall, she looked down at the food in front of her and tears started rolling down her cheeks. Anderson knew something was wrong he had prayed for her on his way over, and asked God to help him comfort her. "Everything tastes like tears. You ever tasted teary pizza? It really kills the cheesy taste," she says with a little laugh. Anderson could tell that something was weighing her down, so he takes her hand and looks her in the eyes and says " talk to me." Anika can barely look him in the eyes. She goes on to explain how her parents have been fighting, her dad never rarely staying home, and the reason she had taken her siblings to Playland. Anderson just listens at some point she is in his arms and he's holding her as she cries. After awhile she pulls herself together. She remembers she needs to check her phone. She hasn't gotten anymore messages from her parents and It's almost 6:00 so she gathers her siblings so they can leave.

  Her siblings are on top of the world they have gotten a big prize like they wanted with enough left over for candy for each of them. Anika is happy that they were able to have such a good time. They load up while Anika says goodbye to Anderson. Anderson gives her a hug and whispers in her ear a message that she would soon come to fully understand.

  Chapter 3

  Where are You Now? On the drive home Anika hopes everything is okay at home. Traffic is a mess so her siblings do their homework in the car leaving it oddly quiet. The music on the radio calms her. The guitar strums and the piano stop her heart from racing and takes her death grip off the wheel. The music brings her to a tranquil place.

  They get home around 7:45 she instructs her siblings to take quick showers and hightail it to bed. While her siblings unload the car she goes to the front door to unlock it. Only to find that it's open. She pushes it open and finds the house destroyed and her parents passed out drunk through the crack in the door her dad's study. She sucks in a startled breath. She runs over to shut the door of the study before her siblings can see anything. The smell of alcohol oozes out of the room and fills the whole downstairs. She runs outside trying to appear calm and rushes her siblings upstairs as quickly as she can. She tells them to start showering but stay in their rooms with the door shut until someone knocks on the door (to let them know they're out of the shower). She tells everyone goodnight and goes to get her parents robes out of their room.

  She hurries downstairs to check on her parents, when she opens the door she finds four people in the room. Her mom is with another man and her dad with another woman. She freezes. She paces the floor for a moment trying to figure out what to do. She CANNOT let her siblings see their parents like this! Anika gets to work. She peels the man off of her mom and puts a robe on him. He moans but she just lays him on the desk. She puts a robe on her mom and sits her up on the couch to make space for her dad and the woman. She goes to her dad's closet in the study and pulls out two trench coats and puts them on her dad and the woman. She puts them both on the couch, turns off the lights and runs upstairs to get the keys to the van. She tells Emmy and Zephaniah she has to run out for a minute. "Watch them okay? Make sure they get to bed. I'll be back in ten minutes!” Anika says. She runs back downstairs and starts loading people into the van. Everyone is out cold as she puts them in the car. She contemplates piling them on the floor but decides to put them in the seats. As soon as everyone is loaded up she locks the door, starts the car and pulls out the driveway.

  By this time it's nearly 11:00 p.m. Anika is driving to the nearest hotel because she does not want her parents in the house with them in the state they're currently in. She travels along the back ways where the police rarely check to lessen the chance of her getting pulled over. She blasts rock and roll music to try and take off the edge. The car reeks of a variety of booze and body. Suddenly the music stops and everything goes quiet. " You think that's funny God?," Anika yells. " Where are you? I need you and you're nowhere to be found! You said your strength is made perfect in my weakness! I haven't seen that yet! You promised that you wouldn't put more on me than I can bear. Can't you see that I'm falling apart this is ripping me up from the inside out?" She lets out a frustrated scream she hits the steering wheel. I thought you were supposed to watch out for ME, and protect me, but you're just standing by watching all of this happen!” “Why won't you save me from this misery?” Anika yells into the darkness. “I'm 16 I'm not an adult. I shouldn't be doing this." Anika turns into the parking lot of Hotel 5.

  Anika gets out of the car and goes to get a room for her parents and their partners. She’s uses up all her money for the room. She lugs them in one at a time thankfully the room is on the ground floor, she shuts and locks the door, and leaves.

  On her way home she hears Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you." This passage brought her comfort. But she still doesnt understand why this suffering wont let up.

  Anika decides tinprays as she drives home something she hadn't done throughout this whole situation. Asking God to give her the strength to stand tall no matter what was up ahead. She prays that God would keep her family intact however He saw fit. She asked His will to be done and not hers. A peace came over her like she had never felt before at that moment she knew God had taken over and she could finally rest. Crazy what can happen in 10 minutes, huh?

  Chapter 4

  Peace in the Storm When Anika arrives home she remembers how messy the house is. Clothes and shoes all over empty bottles, pills, shattered glass, and some suspicious wet stuff all over the floors. She looks over at the clock (11:10). She still has time to do her homework (hopefully) and clean up. She texts Anderson and asks him to come over. He arrives in 30 minutes when he walks in he sees the disaster zone that is the Wilson house. The odor greets him first and everything else follows. He immediately starts helping Anika clean up. " Thank you," she says. She can't understand how she had happened on a guy like Anderson. He cares about her in a way no one ever has and wants nothing in return. After they had cleaned it was about 2:00 in the morning. Anderson offers to help her get the kids stuff ready for school and because she was so tired she agrees. Anderson made lunch and cleaned the kitchen while Anika slept on the couch. After he finishes he writes a note to Anika telling her he had left and that he’d cooked breakfast, and to call him if she needed anything.

  I know you're freaking out about Anderson. What a sweet guy, right? And I know some of you are skeptical. But let me tell you a secret. A Godly man puts God first. He's humble, generous, he prays, and obeys the word of God, and because he possess all of these things his actions show that. So to ease yo
ur worries Anderson is not looking for sex. He’s genuinely a good guy. Anika slept for two hours it was the most sleep she had gotten in at least a month. She got up refreshed and got ready for school. She was as chipper as Cinderella as she got her siblings up. The energy in the house had changed. Happiness filled up every space and everyone felt it. Anika walks in the kitchen to breakfast in the refrigerator. She finds Anderson's note and smiles. She's starting to feel like God actually sees her. As soon as everyone finishes eating and the kitchen is cleaned Anika gets everyone into the van. She pulls out of the driveway and they head to school.

  When they arrive at school Anika repeats everything she had done the other day and headed to class. On her way to class she sees a girl cleaning out her locker. She stops and looks the girl up and down. She notices a little bump under her shirt. And she realizes it's the girl! She walks over to her and introduces herself. She tells the girl she wants to know more about her. The girl (Debbie) is okay with the questions. She was grateful that someone had talked to her instead of believing the stories going around or just assuming the worst. The girls planned to meet at a coffee shop after Anika got out of school and took her siblings home. "Oh I have a friend his name is Anderson could he come too?" Anika asked. Without hesitation Debbie said that was perfectly fine. Both girls left the encounter excited for that afternoon. It was the most exciting thing either one of them had has to look forward to that week. Anika texts Anderson and fills him in on what has happened and asked him to meet her at the coffee shop.

  All throughout the day Anika is excited about the afternoon. As soon as school is over she grabs her siblings and they get into the van. Right before Anika pulls out she remembers she needs to check her phone so she pulls back into the parking space to check it. Her parents had apparently found a way home and were not excited to find that Anika was the one who had sent them to the hotel. She figures that they are not in a stable place so she turns the van around and heads to the coffee shop. She explains that she is meeting her friends. She tells her siblings that they were to seat at the tables and do their homework while she talked. "Y'all should have extra food in your lunch bags I looked so I already know. And if somebody ate theirs for lunch I put some extra food in my bag. I don't have enough money for y'all to eat at the shop. So eat what you need not what you want," she tells them. Anika didn't know what she would ask Debbie or what Debbie would say so as she drove she prayed that God would show her what to say and how to say it. They arrived at the coffee shop around 3:45 to find that Anderson was already there and Debbie was five minutes away. They piled out of the van and into the coffee shop. Anika got them situated and went to talk to Anderson. "Hi!," she said sounding exhausted as she sat down. “Sleep good?," he asked. "It may have been the best sleep of my life" she replied. Debbie arrives. She spots Anika and Anderson and walks over. She introduces herself to Anderson and starts talking.