by E. L. Todd
He glared at Gabe with hatred.
Gabe didn’t look at him, resting his hands on the table.
“Paul, don’t do anything.”
He clenched his fists by his sides.
Hannah and Lisa both looked confused.
Paul took a deep breath before he looked at Hannah. “Do you mind if I sit next to my girlfriend?”
“Sure,” Hannah said as she got out of the booth so he could sit next to Alexandra.
“You’re not my boyfriend,” Alexandra said in annoyance.
He placed his arm over her shoulder. “When that fucker is around, I am.”
Gabe stayed quiet.
Alexandra glared at him then looked away.
“What were you talking about?” Paul asked.
Lisa’s cheeks reddened. “Tattoos.”
“I have a few,” Paul said.
Hannah blushed as well.
“What are your tattoos of?” Lisa asked.
“Lyrics,” he said. “Mainly Mumford and Sons.”
“Is that your favorite band?” Hannah asked.
“Yeah,” Paul said.
Hannah leaned closer to him. “Are you a musician?”
“I play the guitar,” he said with a shrug.
Hannah’s eyes lit up like Christmas morning. “Wow…”
He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah.”
“What do you do for a living?” Lisa asked.
“I’m a lawyer,” Paul said. “I just took my bar exam last year.”
“Wow…” Hannah said again.
Alexandra heard both their ovaries pop. She was getting uncomfortable by the attention her friends were showing in him. It made her slightly jealous. She leaned closer to him and put her hand on his thigh.
Paul immediately looked at her, his eyes wide.
Alexandra didn’t realize what she did until it was done. She pulled her hand back, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. Paul grabbed it and returned it to his thigh. He leaned into her ear. “I’m yours. Claim me all you want.”
“Please tell me you have a brother,” Hannah said.
“I have a brother and a sister.”
“Is he hot too?”
Paul smiled. “People say we look a lot alike.”
“Is he a lawyer too?” Hannah asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “Our father owns his own firm. We want to continue the business someday.”
“I need to move to New York,” Hannah said.
“It’s a pretty great place,” Paul said. “Alexandra and I will be returning soon.”
“What?” Lisa said. “You’re moving?”
“No,” Alexandra said. “That isn’t what he meant.”
“No, that’s exactly what I meant,” Paul said. “We belong in New York.”
“Why are you here?” Lisa asked.
“Well, Aunt Martha needs help with the cotton,” Alexandra explained.
“She could find someone else to help her if she really wanted to,” Lisa said. “All she has to do is ask.”
“Martha is as stubborn as a mule,” Alexandra said. “So I can’t see that happening.”
Paul looked at her two friends. “Ladies, please convince my lady to come home with me. I’d appreciate it.”
Hannah sighed. “We’ll try. But she’s also a stubborn mule.”
Paul looked at Gabe and glared at him. “Why the fuck are you still here?”
Gabe kept his mouth shut.
“Paul,” Alexandra said. “Knock it off.”
“No,” he snapped.
She squeezed his thigh. “We’ll talk about this later. Drop it for now.”
“I will if you give me a kiss.”
Her eyes lit up in flames.
He shrugged. “It was worth the shot.”
“Gabe is actually a really good guy,” Lisa said. “You shouldn’t be so mean to him.”
Paul clenched his fists. “You didn’t tell them?”
“We’ll talk about it later,” she hissed.
“Tell us what?” Hannah asked.
Paul looked at Gabe. “You’re a fucking coward. Take responsibility for your own actions.”
“Paul, if you don’t knock if off, we’re done,” Alexandra said.
He turned to her. “We’re done?” He raised an eyebrow. “So we’re together?”
“That’s not what I meant,” she said quickly.
“Well, that’s how I’m taking it.” He turned to Hannah. “Would you excuse us?”
“Okay…” She got out of the booth so they could get out.
“Let’s go,” Paul said as he threw his money on the table. “I can’t stand looking at this asshole any longer.
Alexandra sighed and let Paul pull her outside.
As soon as they walked out, Paul turned on her. “Why the fuck are you still seeing him?”
“Before you flip out, let me explain.”
He stared her down, his eyes like a roaring fire.
“He apologized—”
“And you forgave him? Just like you do to everyone but me?”
“Shut up and let me talk!”
He growled.
“I said I didn’t forgive him and I didn’t want to be friends with him anymore. I just don’t trust him.”
“Well, it looked like you guys were having a great time,” he said sarcastically.
“Just because I’m not friends with him doesn’t mean Lisa and Hannah can’t be friends with him. I’m not going to interfere with that.”
“I bet they would feel differently if you told them he tried to rape you!”
“I’m not telling them.”
“I’ll do it, then.” He turned toward the door.
She grabbed his arm. “Stop acting like this.”
“No,” he snapped. “He almost fucked my girl. I’ve been very lenient about this situation. I even took him to the hospital because you wanted me to. But I’m not keeping it a secret to protect his reputation.”
“Paul, please stop making this more difficult for me.”
He glared at her. “Stop protecting him.”
“I’m not protecting him.”
“Yes, you are!”
She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Just stop, okay?”
“Fine, but you aren’t allowed to be alone with him.”
“Allowed?” she said incredulously. “Fuck you, Paul.”
“I mean it. If you want him to still be around, then I’m going to be there. So which do you prefer? Me telling everyone that he ripped your underwear off or me being there at all times?”
“You’re being totally unreasonable, Paul.”
His eyes darkened. “Unreasonable? He held you down and tried to fuck you. He’s been trying to get with you this entire time. I don’t trust him and I don’t like him. I don’t give a shit if you think I’m being unreasonable. So pick.”
She sighed. “Fine.”
“Fine what?”
“You can be around me when he’s there.”
“I’m glad we came to an agreement.”
She turned to her truck. “I’m going home.”
“I’ll meet you there.”
“I just want to be alone right now, Paul.”
“Why?” He stood in front of her door.
“I’m just—I don’t know.”
“Can I be around you if I promise not to speak?”
She sighed. “Then why do you want to be around me, then?”
“It bothers me when you’re in pain. I know you act strong all the time, but I also know that you’re traumatized deep down inside. Even if you don’t admit it, you liked sleeping with me because you felt safe. I’ll protect you against everything. So when you’re suffering, let me just sit there. It helps knowing that someone is looking out for you.”
She ran her fingers through her hair. “Why do you have to be so sweet all the time?”
He smiled. “I was being an ass just a second ago.”
“But I know it was coming from a good pl
ace.”
“So, is that a yes?”
She nodded.
“I’ll see you soon.” He walked back to his car.
Alexandra drove back to her property on the outskirts of town. She noticed her aunt’s truck wasn’t there. Paul parked beside her then got out.
“Where did Martha go?” she asked
“To the doctor.”
“Is she okay?” she asked quickly.
“She said it was just a check up. Nothing to be worried about.”
“Oh.” She released the air from her lungs. Then she walked to the warehouse at the edge of the property. Paul walked behind her and fell silent.
When she reached the ladder, she climbed to the top. Paul followed her a moment later and sat on the hay next to her. He was within an arm’s reach. She lay down and stared at the ceiling, counting the circles carved in the wooden boards.
Paul glanced at her but kept quiet.
“I just wish that I never met Blaise. He’s done nothing but hurt me.”
He played with a strand of hay.
She sighed. “I want to be with you but I just can’t. I don’t know why. You’re so perfect. I wish I hadn’t killed anyone and I wish you hadn’t cheated on me.”
“You didn’t kill anyone,” he said gently.
“You said you wouldn’t talk.”
He averted his gaze.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”
He lay beside her and held her hand.
Alexandra felt the warmth radiate through her body. Paul was a bigger comfort than she let on. He was always there for her, even when she pushed him away. He wasn’t just her first lover, but her closest friend. She couldn’t deny that she liked having him beside her. If Blaise hadn’t come into her life, she could just go back to Paul and be happy. But she couldn’t do that. It wasn’t so simple.
Paul sat up then rested on his elbow. He looked down at her face, studying her lips and her mouth.
She turned to him and saw him appraise her features. His thoughts were hard to discern since he couldn’t speak. He placed his hand on her check, and his fingertips glided through her hair.
When he leaned toward her, she took a deep breath. His lips were dangerously close to hers but he didn’t cover all the distance. He hovered near her face, his mouth just a second away. His hand still moved across her skin, caressing her.
Without thinking, Alexandra touched his arm and rubbed it gently. His skin was burning like it was on fire. Every winter in New York, it was freezing cold. The snow could reach feet into the air. But he always kept her warm with his natural heat.
Paul still didn’t kiss her. His eyes stared at her lips, begging them to touch his own.
Alexandra felt the weight of her emotions. Her heart raced in her chest and worked in overdrive. Her palms suddenly became sweaty. Her hands moved to his neck and gripped him gently. Then she pulled his lips to hers.
When they touched, Paul released a quiet moan from his lips. His hand started to touch her more aggressively, his passion taking over.
Alexandra felt her breathing increase as his mouth sealed over hers. His tongue parted her lips, taking her breath away. Paul was always a great kisser, and she forgot about it until now. He moved further on top of her, his large body covering hers. She ran her fingers through his hair while they kissed, letting her fall into the safety of his embrace. With him, she felt safe. She thought she felt that way with Blaise but she’d been wrong. The thought of him made her heart burn painfully. She pulled away and ended the kiss.
Paul sighed in sadness, wanting their lips to touch again.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He cupped her face. “Did you mean it?”
“Of course I did.”
He kissed her gently on the lips. “Then don’t be sorry.”
“I just don’t want to give you the wrong impression.”
“Baby, I know you better than anyone. You can’t mislead me.”
“Yes, I can.”
He shook his head. “Right now, you feel torn. You still have feelings for this other guy even though he was just huge mistake. You’re still in pain over him. That’s fine with me. But it makes you feel guilty. You are still unsure what to do about me because I did kiss someone else, but you love me and love being with me. You want to be in a relationship again, already are in a way, but you still haven’t let Blaise go. Alex, we’re getting back together. You just need a little more time. But I know that’s how you feel. When you finally accept that Blaise is really gone, you’ll be mine again. And we’ll move back to New York and figure out how to take care of Martha.”
“It sounds like you have everything figured out.”
“There’s no doubt of your love based on that kiss.”
She looked at the ceiling, seeing the sunshine drift through the gaps.
Paul lay beside her and held her hand, reminding her that he was there whenever she was ready.
Chapter Fourteen
When Alexandra woke up, she went into the kitchen to drink a glass of water. Aunt Martha was sitting at the kitchen table, a prescription next to her glass of milk.
“Is everything okay?” Alexandra asked, grabbing the pills and examining them.
Aunt Martha raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s rude.”
“Sorry,” she said as she put them down. “It’s a habit. But Vicodin is pretty strong. I didn’t realize you were in such pain.”
She shrugged. “I only take it before bed. If not, I can’t sleep.”
Alexandra stared at her. “Maybe we should see a physical therapist to loosen the muscles in your back.”
“The doctor did mention that.”
“I’ll make an appointment and Paul can take you.”
Martha looked over her shoulder into the living room where Paul was sleeping on the couch. “You aren’t sleeping together anymore?”
“What?” Alexandra felt her heart race. “We haven’t been sleeping together.”
“If you say so…”
“He slept with me one time because…it was just a long night.”
She nodded to the chair. “What happened?”
She sighed then sat down. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but some guy tried to…do something to me at this party I went to. Paul took care of it and drove me home. He just didn’t want to leave me alone.”
“What did this guy do to you?”
Alexandra tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “He was just drunk and acting stupid.”
“Did you slap him like I taught you?”
She smiled. “Of course.”
“If you hit them in the right place, you can ignite all their nerves at once. It’s crippling.” She drank from her water. “Did you kick him in the groin with the heel of your foot?”
“I didn’t get the chance. But Paul beat the shit out of him and put him in the hospital.”
Martha nodded. “I always liked Paul.”
Alexandra smiled.
“But I would have shot him.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re crazy, Aunt Martha.”
“No, I just don’t accept any bullshit.”
“I know where I get it from.”
“So, is it you and Paul now?”
“Uh…I don’t know.”
Martha stared at her face. “Is Blaise officially in the past?”
“I think so. He’s no good for me, Aunt Martha. I hate people who are deceitful.”
“You didn’t tell me what happened at the hospital for three months, you didn’t tell your friends where you were, and you’re telling everyone you’re an English major. You’re one to talk about being deceitful.”
“It’s not the same thing.”
“If you say so…Blaise doesn’t know Paul is here, does he?”
“Uh, we haven’t really talked.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Um…I don’t know. It’s not any of his business.”
“Well, I
’m sure he’ll find out anyway. You may as well be proactive about it. And I don’t think the best way is for Blaise to show up here and see you two in bed together.”
“We aren’t sleeping together!”
“Shh!” Martha said. “You’ll wake your man.”
“He’s not my man,” she whispered.
“You seem confused, dear.”
“Well, I’m not. Blaise is…in the past. I really like Paul. We’ve had our differences but we can work them out. It makes more sense to be with him than hope Blaise is the wonderful man he says he is.”
“Make more sense or is just easier?” Martha said, eyeing her. “Because love isn’t easy. I’m not sure what gave you the impression it was.”
“But you trust each other.”
“Do you trust Paul?”
Alexandra thought for a moment. “Yeah. I think he just made a mistake and he regrets it.”
“Do you trust Blaise?”
She shook her head.
“Well, do you love Paul?”
“Of course I do. Love has never been the problem.”
Martha stared at the table for a moment before she looked at her niece. “It sounds like you made your decision.”
That didn’t make Alexandra feel any better. The entire situation was unfortunate. It seemed like everyone was getting their heart broken. No one came out a winner. “Yeah…”
Alexandra drank her water then stood up. “I should get to work.”
“I’ll help.”
She turned and saw Paul walk toward the door, fully dressed.
Aunt Martha smiled but didn’t speak.
She felt alarmed when she saw him. She wondered if he heard everything. “Okay…”
They walked outside then headed to the field. The sun was bright, and it illuminated the fields of cotton. It was still slightly cold, the dew sticking to the leaves of the plants. The dirt was slightly damp. They said nothing as they walked side by side.
Alexandra waited for him to mention the conversation that just took place. “You don’t need to help me.”
“It’s okay, baby. I want to.”
She turned the irrigation pump and he helped her. “Did you hear our conversation?”
He smiled. “I did.”
She stared at him.
“But it wasn’t anything I didn’t know before.” He moved to the next pump and turned the handle. She watched him for a moment, seeing the outline of his back. The first day she met Blaise came to her mind. The sight of his face on that summer morning was still ingrained in her mind. Even in that moment, she knew there was an unusual connection between them. But that didn’t matter anymore. The person standing in that field was Paul, not Blaise. Blaise was living his life with Danielle, being in the relationship he had been in for the past year. Alexandra was a leaf on the wind that came into his life then disappeared shortly afterwards. The knowledge made her sad. Because Blaise wasn’t a passerby. He was the mighty oak that stood tall and proud for generations, outliving most. But she had to forget about that—forever.