Heart & Soul

by Sienna Grant

  “Hey Cam. this a nice surprise, how did you get here?” I smile but I’m a little worried has to how he got here.

  “I rode my bike.”

  Nodding... “Come on in.” Dropping his bike on the drive, he walks past me into the house, picking it up with a shake of my head, I lean it against the wall at the side of the house then follow him into the house, entering the living room, he’s sitting on the couch, so I take my place next to him.

  “So, does your Mum know you’re here?”

  “Yeah.”

  He doesn’t look at me as he answers which tells me she doesn’t know.

  “Cameron?”

  I know I sound stern, but I need to him to understand that she should know where he is. Eyes matching mine look back at me. Guilty eyes - I can tell them a mile away because mine were like that ninety percent of the time when I was a kid.

  “Does she know you’re here?”

  “No.” His head shakes on a loud sigh. Taking a seat next to him on the couch, he turns his head to look at me.

  “You should’ve told her. You can come here whenever you want I told you that, but you have to let your Mum know where you’re going to be. Okay?” He nods in agreement as I take my phone from my pocket. I pull up her number and click dial.

  “What are you doing? Don’t tell her she’ll go mad...” Cam panics as her sweet voice comes on the line making me smile.

  “Hey. Erm I’ve had a visitor.”

  “Oh yeah, please don’t say it’s my mother?” she sounds stricken.

  “No.” I laugh. “It’s Cameron.”

  “What! How has he got there?”

  I can hear the anxiety in her voice as she answers me.

  “He has to cross roads to get to yours.”

  “He’s on his bike. Don’t worry, let him stay for a bit I’ll bring him back later and I’ll take him out for dinner too.”

  “Are you sure.”

  “Cass he’s my son, of course I’m sure.”

  “Okay then. Thanks, Elliott.

  “You don’t have to thank me, see you later on.”

  “Right then bud, what do you want to do?”

  He smiles at me. My heart dissolves into mush as I realise I’m sitting here with my son. A boy that looks just like me and pretty much acts like me. God help us all.

  “Do I have to go home?”

  “No. Don’t worry. You can stay here for a bit.”

  “Ace. Can I have a go on your guitar again?”

  My whole face feels as though it’s lit up like a Christmas tree. My boy wanting the same things as me, makes me so happy.

  “Of course. I’ll go fetch it.”

  I come back down with my guitar, make him sit back on the couch and sit it on his legs, showing him again how to hold it and positioning his fingers.

  “You could do with a child’s guitar they’re not quite so big as this one,” I mumble as I’m trying to show him.

  “So, are you into music, Cam?”

  “A little bit, not much.”

  “And you want to learn how to play a guitar.”

  “Yeah. Because then It’s something I can do with you.” Looking up at me he grins, I smile back before adds the rest, “Because honestly, what else can you do, you’re rubbish on the PlayStation.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  Cam laughs. Just being here to hear him laugh makes me the luckiest man in the world.

  “To be honest I’m rubbish at football too.”

  “See, told ya!”

  I take the guitar from his lap because I don’t want it to drop, locking his head in the crook of my arm I rub the top of his head then tickle him. He giggles wriggling his way free.

  “I’m glad you came here today.”

  “Me too. Is Mum going to tell me off?”

  “Nah! She was fine, she was a just a bit worried about crossing the roads that’s all, but you have to tell her in future okay? Or I’ll pick you up, I don’t mind.”

  “Okay.” He looks down at his fidgeting fingers, but they aren’t on the strings of the guitar; his arms are using it to lean instead.

  “Are you okay?”

  He attempts to nod but it’s very slight.

  “You can talk to me…. if you want to that is.”

  Taking a deep breath, he looks at me.

  “Mum said you didn’t know about me.”

  “I didn’t Cam.”

  “If you had would you have come back sooner?”

  “Without a doubt. The worst thing I ever did was to not sort things out with your Mum. If I’d known I had you, I would have been back like a shot. Nothing would have kept me away, even playing on stage, I promise you that. He rests his head against my arm.

  “Remember when I asked if I was allowed to call you dad?”

  “Yeah…”

  “Can I?”

  “Are you kidding? I’d love nothing more Cam.”

  He looks up at me from his spot against my arm and smiles. I may be a twenty-nine-year-old man but right now I feel like crying and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I lied to myself earlier, because this moment beats every single one of my life.

  Wrapping my arm around his shoulders, I hold him against me and kiss the top of his light brown short hair. Grabbing my baseball cap from the back of the settee, I place it backwards on his head now he really is my mini-me...

  My boy.

  “What’s happening here then?” Dale comes in smiling from work. “Hey Cam, I didn’t know you were coming over.”

  “It was a surprise visit, wasn’t it bud?”

  Cam nods while he concentrates on the strings.

  “You know Cam you don’t have to play the guitar, there’s always drums if you really want to play an instrument. If you can tap a beat with your fingers, then you can do it with sticks.”

  “Really?! His eyes widening as he asks.

  “Yeah! Put the guitar down on the floor, just watch where you’re stepping, when you get up.”

  Pulling the coffee table closer to us I think of a song and tap the beat to show him.

  “Now listen to that beat, remember it, now you try.” Closing my eyes, I wait for him to start and apart from the tap out of sync he copied every one of them.

  “Was that it?”

  “Yeah you got it. Right let’s do another, a harder one,” I tell him smiling. Tapping out another beat to a The Final Countdown by Europe, just the opening beats, he listens with pure concentration then takes his turn. He gets everyone right.

  “Well I think we have a budding drummer on our hands, Dale.”

  “Really? You think I can do it?” Cam asks excited.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “I can’t wait to tell Mum.” He jumps up on down where he sits excitedly.

  “Yeah, she’ll be ecstatic.” My tone sarcastic, Cass will be happy.

  “Can we do another?” His eyes pleading with me. “Pleeease.”

  “One more then we need to grab some food, okay?”

  “Yeah alright.”

  I tap another beat out a longer one and listen as he gets most of that right too. My gaze finds Dales and he’s watching him with amazement until he glances at me and smiles. I pull my son into me and hug him.

  “You did amazing son.”

  A huge grin spreads across his face, a proud grin and I put it there. That feeling that I did something to make my son smile makes me proud too. Now I know what I’ve been missing out on.

  “Right then Bud, Maccies, KFC or Burger King? Your choice.”

  “Hmmm... Maccies. Please.

  “Come on then.”

  Dale sits back in the chair grinning at us.

  “Wait, do you think we should ask Uncle Dale?” Cameron nods.

  “No, you guys go, I’ll be fine.”

  “No come with us....”

  “Please Uncle Dale? I want you to come too.”

  Cam and I ask him at
the same time, but it seems to do the trick.

  “Weeelll…. since you asked so nicely, how can I say no? Let me have a quick wash and change and I’ll be down.”

  “Yayyy.” Cameron cheers as his arms cling around my waist. My arms wrap around his head holding him to me my heart flooding with so much love.

  We come out of McDonalds and jump back in my car. I head back to my house first.

  “We’ll just drop Dale at home Cam and I’ll take you home, it’s almost eight now.”

  “Okay.” A small voice answers from the back seat.

  “Are you okay with that?” I ask Dale.

  “Of course, I am. I don’t want to be in the same room as you two.” He smirks.

  “Hey Cameron? How about one of the night’s when your Mum is at work you can stay at mine with me... would you like that?”

  “Really? I’d love that. Can I stay Friday night then?”

  “I’m sure we can work something out, what you say Elliott?”

  “Definitely, but we’ll ask your Mum first to make sure it’s okay.”

  “Yes!” My heart swells at his enthusiasm, I hope Cass is okay with it though. Today has been the best unplanned day I’ve ever had in my life. Forget playing in front of hundreds of people - today getting to know my boy, tops everything I’ve ever achieved.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Cassidy

  I turn my wrist to look at my watch again for the third time in an hour. How long are they going to be? I hope he’s okay...? Why am I even worrying? He’s with his dad - he’s fine.

  “Oh my god Cassidy Summers... get a grip!” Instead of sitting here bouncing my knee I give myself a talking to and decide to fill the washer from my never-ending washing basket, that’ll keep me busy for at least ten minutes. I don’t know how that boy gets through so many clothes.

  I don’t know why it seemed so weird him not being here today because he always goes off playing but I think it’s knowing he’s with Elliott. My anxiety has hit its highest level. I hope they get on alright, I know they did last weekend, but I was here too.

  I haven’t had to work all week but I’m in tomorrow night, that’s going to please my Mum. That woman hates it when I ruin her plans and I know she goes to the bingo hall on a Thursday. Oh well, just something else for her to pick holes in.

  It’s past eight now he should be home. Picking up my phone I pull up Elliott’s number and open my text messages. Typing out a message, my thumb hovers over the send button. No. he’ll think I don’t trust him. Sighing I delete the message and head back to the kitchen to take the washing from the dryer. Putting it all on the table, I make a cup of coffee and begin to fold all the washing.

  The bang that comes from the door hitting the wall as it opens makes me jump but I know that’s him. Cameron comes running in happily.

  “Hey Mum.” He hugs me tight and runs off again.

  “Erm hello. Where are you going and where’s Elliott?”

  “Put the telly on.”

  Getting up from the chair I put the kettle back on and wait for Elliott to come in.

  “Helloooo.”

  Elliott stands at the open front door and shouts. I can feel the smile on the face, I’m sure it’s huge and I feel like that teenage again eager to see him.

  “Hey.”

  The urge to run up to him and kiss him is there but I can’t I know that. He smiles back and winks. I know he’s probably thinking the same thing or something a lot sexier knowing Elliott…

  He walks down the hall greeting me with a kiss to my cheek.

  “Hi.”

  He looks around after holding my gaze for a minute.

  “Where’s Cam gone?”

  “To watch the telly…”

  “Cameron. Come here a sec.”

  He shows his face at the door within seconds.

  “How did you do that? He never comes that quickly for me.”

  “Have you told your Mum what we’ve done today?”

  “No! Mum I played on Dad’s guitar.” My world spins. That word, that single word - I never thought I’d hear that. Tears prick my eyes making them fill with water I try to blink them back. I don’t want Cameron to see me he’ll think it’s wrong and has upset me and it’s totally the opposite.

  “WOW! Again?” I swallow past the lump in my throat just enough to get words out.

  “Yeah but not just that. He said I didn’t have to play a guitar I could try to play the drums, so we tapped out some tunes on the table and I copied, and I was really good Dad said I was. Oh, and Uncle Dale was there too. He said I was really good too….” After he finishes and takes a breath I manage to get a word in.

  “Drums huh? Great.”

  Elliott cringes as I raise an eyebrow at him before turning back to my son.

  “Did you have a good time?”

  “Yep it was brill and Uncle Dale said I can stay with him Friday night while you’re at work. Can I? Please?”

  “Did he now? You have had a good afternoon.”

  Cam”

  His eyes switch from looking at me to giving Elliott his full attention.

  “Go watch the telly while I have a word with your mum please?”

  “Erm, no. Go have a shower. You have school tomorrow.”

  “Ugh, do I have to? I’m not even dirty!” He whines.

  Elliott angles his head and nods at the stairs…

  “Go on bud. Do as you’re told, and I’ll talk to your Mum.”

  “Okaaay then…” He sighs but does as Elliott asks him to.

  I turn to face Elliott full on.

  “Seems like you definitely have a fan. It usually takes a lot longer than that to get him in the shower.”

  “What can I say, I have the touch.”

  “I know you do...” I whisper but smirk at the same time. He eyes the stairs watching Cam disappear as he gets further up then turns back, frames my face in both of his hands and plants his lips to mine in a crushing kiss.

  “Mm, stop it. Cameron…” I whisper.

  “He’s gone. I had to, I couldn’t stop myself.”

  Walking away from him I tell him to follow me into the kitchen, so I make us a coffee.

  “So, what’s this about Friday.” Lifting the cup to my lips I take a sip of my hot coffee.

  “Dale, told Cameron if it was okay with you he could stay one night at ours while you’re at work, but only if it’s okay with you and Cam asked for this week.”

  “Really he asked that? I can’t believe how open he is. He’s never asked questions about you or anybody until recently and that was because I sat him down when I knew you were back.” Pausing for a second while I get my head around everything…

  “I can’t believe he called you Dad? I mean I hoped he would, but I never expected it this soon…”

  “Neither could I. I was gobsmacked Cass.”

  “I’m so happy you two have hit off.”

  My emotions are high as I try to sniff them back.

  “Well in regard to Friday if that’s what he wants then he can stay at yours as long as you’re okay with it of course, it’s your house too.”

  “Cass. Come on, he’s my son and I intend to make up for as much lost time as I possibly can. Today was just amazing. He’s amazing. You’ve done a brilliant job with him.”

  “He’s amazing because he’s got you in him.”

  “Cass don’t. I feel like shit for not hanging around, but I swear I’m going nowhere anymore, ever. I’m here to stay. For Cam and for you, I’ll never leave you ever again. That’s a promise.”

  A tear fills my eye, not able to hold them back much longer, my jaw tensing as Elliott says the words I’ve waited to hear for so long, but I can’t let myself believe it just yet…

  “Please don’t make promises you can’t keep to either of us.”

  I try to swallow down the boulder that seems stuck in my throat, I don’t want to chase him off, b
ut he has to know the boundaries.

  He takes my clasped hands and covers them with his.

  “Cass, I can make that promise because I’m not going to break it again. I’m older, wiser and no one will keep my family away from me. My whole life is now centred around the two of you.”

  The tear has tumbled over the precipice it seemed to be balancing on and it’s trickling down my cheek. Elliott gently wipes it away using the pad of his thumb. Softly sighing at his soft touch. He smiles, he knows exactly what he does to me. My arms thread through his and wrap around his back as he cups my head in his strong, large hand, his lips leaving a soft lingering kiss making me feel protected, even loved.

  “I only have one regret in my life, and that’s not hanging around to see you or talk to you, if I’d have known, I would have given up everything.

  Pushing back from him reluctantly I release my tight hold on him.

  “I better go check on Cameron.”

  Running up the stairs I peer into his bedroom but he’s not there, he must still be in the shower. With my back against the wall I rest my head back and blow out a breath. I’m trying so hard not to rush into anything but it’s just so hard. So many feelings come flooding back every time I see him. A smile, a wink, something he says, it reminds me and takes me back ten or more years. How do I do this without throwing my heart at him and saying - it’s yours, do want you want with it? Does he really want more like he said he does…?

  Arrrghhh it's all too much but it’s definitely a conversation we need to have.

  “Mum? What’s wrong?”

  I didn’t even hear the door open I was so entranced in my own thoughts. Pretending there’s nothing wrong I fix a smile to my face.

  “Nothing sweetie. So, did you have a good time then?”

  “Yeah it was brill. Dad says…”

  My eyelids drop at that word again. I never thought this day would come.

  “I’d be good at drums. Can I have some drums? Pleeease?” My eyebrows shoot up to the top of my forehead.