Fluidity (Hearts Not Parts Collection Book 2)

by E. M. Leya

  It was clear as Jeff brushed past Ax that he was upset about everything, but he just didn't care. Jeff had brought this on himself. It was no secret that he and Les were together. Jeff knew what he was doing when he kissed Les. He might not have figured on being caught, but he'd known he was coming between them.

  Relieved that Jeff was gone, Ax made his way to the shower, not even bothering to get new clothes before stripping off his dirty ones and stepping under the water. He'd spent the day debating on if he was making the right choice giving them a chance to work things out. The truth was, he didn't have a choice. Walking away was too painful. Even the few days they'd been apart had seemed suffocating. Les was already a huge part of his life. Even with the hurdles, they still had to face, it was better to stay and see where it went than end it now and always wonder if they could have worked it out.

  Les was a great guy, and he owed him a chance to make it work after all Les had done for him. The long nights in the hospital, the hours of time keeping him company when he'd come home, all of it meant something, and showed him who Les was. He wasn't some player, some guy who went around using people. He had a huge heart and he didn't hesitate to show it when someone needed help.

  The water helped relax the tension in his body, and by the time he stepped out and wrapped the towel around his waist he was ready to face Les and see where this was going to go.

  Even though he wanted to put on a sundress, he pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt instead. The more Les got used to him being a man, not a woman, the easier it would be to see if Les could get past the issues he had with being with a man.

  As he waited for Les to get home, he did dishes. Even though they weren't his mess, it kept him busy and from overthinking too much. He just put the last dish in the dishwasher when Les walked through the door.

  "Hi." Les dropped his bag beside the door and dumped his keys on the table.

  "Hey, long day?" Ax wiped his hands dry before coming to greet him with a kiss.

  "Yeah, I had all the work I'd missed yesterday to catch up on today, on top of today's work, I'm just drained." He relaxed in Ax's embrace. "How are you?"

  "The same. Had a long one. Maybe we should order Chinese and just be lazy tonight while we talk things over?" It sounded like a perfect night to him, especially if Jeff was going to be gone.

  "You mean we aren't going to rush into bed and have wild sex?" Les grinned. "Chinese sounds good. There's a menu in that top drawer if you want to order while I shower and change. If not, I'll do it when I get out." He pulled his wallet out and handed Ax a credit card. "Use this."

  "Anything particular?"

  "A number four and extra egg rolls." Les kissed him before heading down the hall.

  Ax smiled as he dug for the menu. If it was just the two of them, this really had a chance of working. Things were easy for them most of the time. If they could get past the other issues, he hoped things would work.

  After placing the call for food, he sat down in the living room, wondering how Les would take the news that Jeff had already started to move out. It was a relief for him, but Les and Jeff had been friends a long time. This sudden change in their friendship had to weigh heavily on Les.

  He refused to feel responsible for it. Jeff had been the one to make a mess of things. If he really felt something for Les, he should have told him a long time ago. He didn't have to wait until Les was seeing someone to make his interest known.

  He hoped in time the two could work things out, but he wasn't sure he would ever be able to trust Jeff completely. He wouldn't come between the friendship, but that didn't mean he ever had to fully trust that Jeff had just forgotten wanting Les.

  He sighed, leaning his head back against the couch and closing his eyes. What it came down to was he needed to trust Les, and by his reaction to that kiss he'd seen, he didn't. That needed to change if this was going to work. Only time could make that happen.

  "Deep in thought or asleep?" Les was suddenly in front of him.

  "Thought." Ax smiled as he looked up, seeing Les in a pair of sweats, his chest, and feet bare.

  "Care to share?" Les straddled Ax's lap, kneeling on the couch as he settled over him.

  Ax slid his hand to Les's hips, holding him. "Just thinking about us."

  "Good thoughts?" Les brushed Ax's hair back from his face.

  "Just thoughts. Not good or bad." He smiled up at Les. "Rethinking everything that's happened since we met."

  "There's been a lot in the short time." Les ran a finger down Ax's cheek. "A lot of it isn't good."

  "There has been good too." Ax turned his head and nipped at Les's finger. "Hopefully, we've gotten all the bad out of the way earlier and can focus on the good now."

  Les settled a little firmer onto his lap, bringing their bodies even closer. "I like that idea." He dipped his head and kissed Ax softly.

  Ax wrapped his arms around Les, holding him close, enjoying the feel of his body against his own. The way they were sitting, it was clear Les enjoyed it too because his cock was thickening as it hardened where it pressed against his own.

  Not wanting to take things too fast, Ax pulled back, breaking the kiss. "This could turn into something we don't have time for with dinner on the way."

  Les smiled. "I've never been more tempted to skip dinner, but you're right. I don't want to rush things." He slid off Ax's lap, settling beside him.

  "We have all night. Jeff was here when I got home. He was packing. He's moving into his ex's place. Said he was sorry and he'd talk to you about everything tomorrow." Ax watched Les close for his reaction.

  "Good. That makes it easier than asking him to leave. It's for the best. Not just because of what happened between him and me, but so many other reasons." Les looked relieved.

  "Like the loud sex noises coming from his room?" Ax teased.

  "Yes, like those, and the dirty dishes he never cleans up. There are a million little things. It's time we parted ways."

  Ax took his hand. "I don't expect you to give up your friendship with him, but I am glad that he won't be living with you anymore. I want to trust that nothing would ever happen with you two, but it's hard when we are so new and you and he have such a past together."

  "We might have a past, but I've never felt more for him than friendship. He isn't the kind of person I'd date. If he was, something would have happened long ago." Les brought their joined hands to his lips. "I have who I want."

  Ax smiled. "I hope so."

  "Still nervous I'm going to run?"

  "Aren't you?"

  "No. I was, but the more time we spend together, the few days I spent without you, it made many things clear. I want you, and I don't think sex or anything else is going to change that. My only fear now is that I'll have no clue what I'm doing and you'll leave me because I suck in bed."

  Ax laughed. "That isn't going to happen. I'm a patient teacher."

  "And I'm a willing student."

  The sound of the doorbell had them both jumping. Laughing, Ax stood. "I'll get the food, you get drinks. After we eat, we can see if school starts tonight or if you'd rather just relax and wait for another day."

  Les smiled. "Maybe you can do a little tutoring and we'll see where it goes."

  Ax laughed, more than willing to get the one thing that still hung between them out of the way. Once he knew Les could be with a man, then he only had to worry about him dating one in public. One wall at a time, then maybe the two of them could get on with looking to a future together.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  With dinner done, Les was ready to show Ax that he was committed to their relationship and able to handle everything that went with it. He was scared as hell he'd mess up somehow, but he trusted Ax to be patient and show him what to do if he didn't know.

  He put the leftover food into the fridge, surprised when he turned to find Ax standing right behind him.

  "I thought maybe I could give myself another memory of you being pressed against the fridge, so I
didn't think about Jeff every time I looked at it." Ax closed the door to the fridge before crowding Les against it.

  "If it helps you forget that moment, we can do anything you want here." Les wrapped his arms around Ax, happy that he seemed willing to move on from what Jeff did.

  "Maybe in time, but our first time isn't going to be in the kitchen. I want you in bed where we can move and I can explore every inch of your body." Ax kissed him hard, pressing him against the fridge.

  Les moaned at the feel of him so close. The man consumed him. He was perfect in every way. Just when he thought he'd understood his attraction to Ax, it seemed to increase, his desire and need growing.

  As Ax pulled back, Les smiled. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of kissing you."

  "Ah, but my plan is to make you so tired that you don't even have the energy to do that." He thrust his hips forward, his hardened cock pressing against Les's thigh.

  "Then we better get started." Les was ready for this. No more talking, no more waiting. This was what he wanted and needed. He wanted to prove to Ax and himself that he could be with a man.

  "You're sure?" Ax cupped his face with his hands.

  "I'm sure. I want this." He stared into Ax's eyes, hoping he could see that there wasn't any hesitation or doubt. He reached up, linking his hand with Ax's. "If you're healed enough and you want this, I don't want to wait any longer."

  Ax took a deep breath. "I'm ready." He stepped back, not letting go of Les's hand. "If you get scared or can't—"

  "I won't. I know I won't, but if I do, I'll tell you." Les hated the insecurity he saw in Ax's eyes. Hated that this one thing stood between them. This ended now. By morning, they would both know where they stood with each other, and could move forward, focusing on the future. "Take me to bed." Les smiled.

  His heart raced, but more from nervousness that he would do something wrong. He wasn't worried that he couldn't do it, but could he do it right? The actual act of sex didn't scare him, but foreplay did. The thought of taking another man in his mouth worried him. What if he choked or was all teeth? He had a girl who was like that once and it ruined the whole experience. He didn't want to do that to Ax.

  Once in the bedroom, Ax turned to him. "Nervous?"

  "A little. I don't want to do anything wrong."

  "You can't. We just do what feels right." Ax slid his hands down Les's arms. "We can go slowly. How about we just get naked and hold each other for a while. Knowing us, that will lead to more, but we can take it at our own pace. Get used to feeling each other."

  Les nodded. "Can I undress you?"

  "Of course." Ax leaned in, brushing his mouth over Les's. "We can do whatever you want."

  Les slid his hands under Ax's shirt, slowly lifting it over his head. He was still careful, worried that his ribs were still sore. Once he had the shirt gone, he ran his fingers down Ax's chest, stopping at the waistband of his pants. Without giving himself time to think about what he was doing, he gripped them and gently slid them down Ax's legs as he lowered to his knees, surprised to find him commando and his cock already hard against his thigh.

  It was the first time he'd really seen him since they'd faced the wrong way in the shower. Now, getting a good look Ax's body, he found himself staring, taking in every curve of his hips, the neatly trimmed hair around his cock, and the cock itself. It was thicker than his own was, but not as long. The mushroomed head was a soft pink, and his balls were perfectly symmetrical to it, unlike his own, which hung too low.

  He ran his hands up the inside of Ax's thighs. "You're perfect."

  Ax smiled. "Thank you. Now it's my turn." He took Les's hands and pulled him up to standing before sinking to his own knees before him and gripping the sides of Les's sweats. "I've spent a million nights dreaming about this moment." He gently tugged, drawing the sweats down Les's legs, not stopping until they pooled around his feet.

  Les sucked in a breath, worried he wouldn't be enough for Ax. His cock was nowhere near as pretty, and he hadn't shaved neatly as Ax did. He bit his lip, nervous as Ax ran his hand over his legs.

  "Do you remember what I said turned me on?"

  Les shook his head. How was he supposed to think at a time like this?

  "Hair. I love hairy legs." He leaned in and ran his cheek up Les's thigh, his breath washing over his cock as he did.

  Les gasped, his hand going to Ax's shoulder to keep himself steady. "I'd forgotten."

  "You're perfect." Ax stared up, meeting his gaze. "I love everything about you." He slid his hands to the back of his legs, then up to his ass, gently squeezing it.

  Les's knees shook as his cock lengthened and hardened. His pulse raced as he stared down at the man he'd fallen in love with over the last few weeks. He'd feared this moment, but now, standing naked before Ax, he wondered if he feared Ax rejecting him more than he feared being unable to be with Ax sexually. The relief that swept through him at having Ax tell him he was perfect really made him wonder if it was his fear of his own body more than Ax's.

  Ax slowly stood. "Come on, let me hold you." He led them to the bed.

  Being in bed with Ax was nothing new. They'd slept beside each other many nights, holding, and cuddling as best they could while Ax had healed, still, this was the first time they'd been naked. The first time they didn't have injuries keeping them from doing more. As Les slipped into the bed, pushing the blankets down to the bottom, he reached out for Ax, welcoming him in beside him, looking forward to not having anything to keep them apart for the first time.

  "That first night you stayed at my place when we first met, I imagined what you would look like naked in bed. The real thing is better than I ever could have imagined." Ax settled beside him, placing his hand on Les's hip. "Back then, I never dreamed we would really be here."

  "Neither did I." Les laughed. "I'm glad we are though. The attraction's been there since that first night. I just needed to get to where I accepted what I was feeling. I'm sorry it took so long."

  "It didn't take too long. We were better for not rushing things. I'm glad we've waited." Ax bent close and kissed Les softly as he moved his body closer.

  The heat from Ax's body warmed his own, and Les moved even closer, bringing their bodies flush as he deepened the kiss. He was done being nervous, being scared and timid. He wanted this. He gasped in pleasure as their cocks brushed together, and cried out when Ax thrust his hips forward, causing them to press hard against each other.

  Ax nipped at his lip before pulling back to stare into his eyes. "Okay?"

  "Perfect." Les slid a leg between Ax's, still needing to be closer. "I'm okay. I promise. I want this. Want all of it."

  Ax smiled. "Me too." He eased his body over Les's, pressing him back to the bed. "I'm going to taste every inch of you tonight."

  Les groaned as he parted his legs so Ax could settle between them. It was strange feeling a cock against his own, but not in any bad way. It was just different than what he was used to. He found the hardness against his own stimulating in a different way than the softness of a female. He moved his hips, trying to bring them together, to find exactly what they both needed to increase the pleasure that was growing between them.

  "Easy. Slow down or this will be over before we even begin." Ax kissed over Les's jaw. "Let me show you how much better this can get."

  Les arched his neck as Ax brush his lips over it. Every touch from Ax was driving him nuts. It was like he'd never had sex before. This was what he'd expected and never found with others. With Ax, it was like his every fantasy come true. His cock ached, his body was on fire, and he needed, though he wasn't sure what.

  He caressed his hands down Ax's back, growling as Ax slid down his body. He cried out when Ax sucked one of his nipples between his lips.

  "I love a man who makes it clear what he likes." Ax moved to the other nipple, doing the same.

  "I like it all." Les lifted his hips, missing the feel of Ax's cock against his own.

  "I told you I wanted to taste everyth
ing." Ax licked down his stomach, stopping to nip at his hip bone.

  "Fuck." Les arched. Who ever knew that hips were so sensitive?

  As Ax teased and licked over his body, his fingers returned to his nipples, teasing them with soft pinches and pulls. He was lost, trying to return the pleasure to Ax, but so distracted by his own that he could hardly think.

  When Ax breathed over his cock, the warm air surrounding it, he thought he would die. "Ax…" He reached down, combing his fingers through Ax's long hair.

  "I know. I'll get there." Ax smiled up at him. "First I want to play a bit more." He drew his tongue down the inside of Les's thigh, coming so close to his balls, but not close enough. Again, he did the same on the other side, causing Les to groan and move, trying to get Ax's mouth right where he wanted him most.

  "Needy, aren't you?"

  "For you, yes." Les closed his eyes as Ax breathed over his balls.

  "More?"

  "Yes." Les was ready to beg.

  "Like this?" Ax licked over one ball, then the other.

  "Yes!" Les fisted the sheet beneath him.

  "I love how you react to my mouth on you." Ax sucked one ball between his lips, rolling over it with his tongue.

  "I love everything you're doing."

  Ax kept teasing his balls, never staying in one area too long, but moving from one to the other, keeping Les guessing where the next touch would be. Finally, just when he thought he was going to die, Ax moved up, coming up on all fours over him and kissing him hard.

  Les wrapped his body around Ax, hooking his legs behind him as his arms encased his back. His cock pulsed, and precum dripped from the head. Even by himself, he'd never been so aroused. Still, he wanted to give Ax the same pleasure. Taking a deep breath, he pulled back slightly. "My turn."

  "But I wasn't done." Ax smiled.

  "Anymore and I will be done. That won't be good for either of us." Les gently rolled, forcing Ax to his back so he could settle over him. "I want a chance to hear you cry out and beg."