Heart Matters

by tani shane

  She snuggled closer to him and he drew her closer. “I met a lot of men over these years but I was never able to trust them completely. I met Adam, who I thought could give me happiness but I could never give myself completely to him, Ty, I just couldn’t. You were always on my mind when any man touched me.”

  She drew in a deep breath and sighed. “But then I met Steven. I don’t know what happened or how. I just saw him and I melted. He...he...makes me feel something I don’t have control on. With him; when he kisses me, I feel lost and needed and so completely safe! I..,” she paused wondering if she should go on but she just had to tell him, “I don’t think of you when I’m with him, Ty.”

  Mark swallowed the lump in his throat, his heart constricting so tightly, he felt he would die. Although, he never had any hopes of them being together, he still loved her and to hear her admitting to loving someone else wasn’t easy. “So I was right,” he finally said, “You love him.”

  Jessica shook her head. “I don’t know. I know he doesn’t.” Her voice cracked remembering her wedding night. “He doesn’t even want me anymore.”

  “Why is that?” He tried to peer at her but she pushed his face away.

  “Don’t look at me; I can’t talk if you do that.”

  He chuckled, dropping a kiss on her temple. “Okay, I won’t look at you. What happened?”

  Jessica drew in a deep breath and told him about her disastrous wedding night with Steven. She felt him shaking beside her and realized he was laughing silently. “What are you laughing for?” she demanded punching him in the gut.

  “Ouch!” he winced before laughing again. “I was just imagining poor Steven shocked to find his bride moaning for someone else!”

  “I wasn’t moaning!”

  “Was too.”

  “Was not!”

  “Okay.” He burst out laughing again while she bristled silently.

  “Are you finished sniggering?”

  “Almost.” He brought his laugh under control and finally they once again sat in silence. “So what did you call me for?”

  She stood up abruptly in a huff but he caught her hand stilling her flight. She turned slowly to face him, her stormy eyes staring at him. “I called you so that I can know from you what do you see when you look at me? If Steven wanted me just in his bed then why did he leave me?”

  Mark looked up at her for the longest time before reining her in towards him. When she was standing right before him, he sat back with his arms crossed across his chest. He tilted his head, a heartbreaking smile hanging around his lips. “When I see you, Jessica, I see the innocent girl who stole my heart and never gave it back. But I also see, a smart, sophisticated, gorgeous woman who has finally set herself free to explore this world and find true love. Although I don’t approve of the way you’re doing it; yes I’m being judgmental, but I know it’s possibly the only way you will get what you want.

  “As for why Steven doesn’t want you anymore? It’s just his ego getting in the way, baby girl. I can’t imagine any hot, blooded man not wanting you.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Hell, I still get a hard on whenever you’re so much as near me!”

  Jessica stared down at Mark, his handsome face trying best to mask his pain. What had she done to him? He was still hung up on her all these years and she had moved on. And the truth was she never wanted him to let go of her. She selfishly wanted his love all for herself. A tear suddenly rolled down her cheek, followed by others, silently chasing each other. His hand immediately shot out to grab her hand out of concern and she was sobbing full on by the time he had her cradled on his lap, whispering soothing words in her hair.

  When she felt calm enough to talk, she looked up at him. “This is what I want from Steven, this kind of love. Am I selfish, Ty? Look what I’ve done to you!”

  “You haven’t done anything to me that I didn’t want, Jess,” his voice was hoarse with emotion. “Give Steven a chance. Let him come to you because I know he will. There’s no way he can let you go when he has every license in the world to claim you.”

  “And what about you, Ty?” She placed her palm on his cheeks. “You need to find someone to love.”

  Mark’s eyes swam with a thousand emotions. “I already have someone to love.”

  They stared at each other for a long time, knowing things couldn’t change between them even if they wanted. Then Mark spoke, brushing the last errant tear off her cheek. “Don’t worry about me, baby girl. I’m cool the way I am.” He smiled suddenly, showing his brilliant teeth. “Think of me as your personal Batman; send me a signal and I’ll be there.”

  “Rubbish!” She laughed with him. “Am I really gorgeous?”

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “And wonderful, innocent, beautiful, crazy, sexy; you name it and you got it. But you’re also a married woman now and I’ll be a dead guy if Steven ever finds you in my arms like this.” He nudged her and she got off his lap. He rose to stand before her, his hands encircling her waist. He gazed down at her, his chocolate eyes smiling. “Feeling better?”

  “Yep.” She smiled back, her head titling back to regard him towering above her. “You’re taller than you should be, Ty.”

  At that he threw his head back and laughed. “Come on, idiot. Let’s get out of here or I’m going to kiss you silly!”

  They walked away, holding hands like lovers, aware that this was probably the last time they were meeting each other.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Niki and Sean stopped by later that day to announce they were officially engaged. Niki flaunted her engagement ring, giggling like a teenager. Jessica congratulated both of them, forgetting her own worries for a while. They looked so happy and perfect together that she couldn’t help envying them. A futile hope rose in her heart that one day she could be just as happy with Steven. But she knew better. She was probably going to get divorced once he got back. The thought sent painful spears through her heart and she once again wondered why it hurt so much to think of such a possibility. She had no answer as usual so she pushed aside the thoughts for a while.

  “Jessi, where are you lost?” Niki’s insistent voice brought her back to reality.

  “What? I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

  “I, no, we were saying that since that ungracious husband of yours is not around, why don’t you join us for a short holiday?”

  Jessica shook her head swiftly. “I’m sorry, I can’t get away from all this.”

  “Sure you can,” her cousin insisted, “We’ll be away only a couple days. Come on, Jessi, you need a break.”

  “But I…”

  “Please say yes,” Sean interrupted, his voice sounding so similar to Steven’s that she stared at him vacantly for a moment. “What’s the matter?”

  She shook her head, smiling at her own foolishness. God! She was beginning to hallucinate. “Where are we going?”

  Niki squealed with delight, hugging her. “We, my dear, are going to Hawaii! Steven has a place at Maui.”

  Jessica opened her mouth to protest but gave in when the couple placed their hands on their ears. She laughed unwittingly. Perhaps, she did need the break. She decided to throw things on Lynn’s shoulders for a while and leave her tensions behind. At least, she could have a good time without thinking of Steven.

  ***

  The apartment was silent when Steven let himself in early next morning. He placed his single travel case and laptop bag in the hallway before entering the lounge. He might be a billionaire but somehow he hated being waited upon by his staff and preferred to do his own chores. To be humble requires a strong spine; his mother had often lectured him. Rosemary Hart was a gentle woman who was taken away too soon from him when he had just turned twenty. His father, Philip Hart, an equally gentle coffee shop owner, had passed away two years later.

  To be saddled with the responsibility of a younger brother was almost too much to bear for Steven. Thankfully he had met Jeff who shared the same fate as him and it was his friendship that saw h
im through many hurdles in life. Steven’s goal back then had been to get his degree in Business Management so that he could carry forward his father’s small business to higher levels. That he would become so successful was sheer luck. However, try as he did, he couldn’t leave his humble background behind.

  Now as he entered his sprawling home, he wondered how his parents would have reacted to Jessica. Would they have liked her? Yeah, he told himself. They would’ve loved her. She had a strong spine. And he had selfishly wronged her. It was time to make amends. Take things slow and see where it led them. And time to stop thinking with your jealous dick, he chided himself. Right now, he just needed Jessica to be with him.

  He loosened the tie on his neck. It was only seven in the morning so he went upstairs to check upon Jessica in the master bedroom. She was not there. The bed had not been slept in he observed his brows drawing together in a frown. He looked for her in the bathroom and then went back downstairs on to the terrace.

  “Jessica?” he called and received no response. “Now where the hell..,” he began, pausing as the front door opened behind him. He turned to see his housekeeper enter.

  “Oh, good morning, Mr. Hart, it’s nice to have to back,” she said, smiling broadly.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Jackson. Have you seen Jessica?”

  “No, Mr. Hart. She wasn’t here when I left last evening.”

  Steven’s heart constricted inexplicably. He tried to keep his voice light as he dismissed the housekeeper. “Thank you, Mrs. Jackson.”

  Steven clenched his fists at his side. Had Jessica left him? She said she had wanted to talk. Was this what she wanted to tell him? That she was leaving? No! She couldn’t do that to him! Steven felt an emotion that bordered close to fear, distress and anger all mixed together. He strode back upstairs and found most of her clothes hanging in the wardrobe. Their sight somehow relieved him and he went to the phone by the bedside. He called her apartment and got no response. Then he tried her office and was met with the same response. He called Jeff and was met with the answering machine that told him he was away with the family for a brief visit to Cheryl’s parents. Finally, he spent fifteen minutes searching for Lynn’s number. When he found it, he dialed the number. Lynn replied a good ten rings later.

  “Yes, who’s this?” her voice came back groggy with sleep.

  “Where is Jessica?” he demanded pushing aside good manners.

  “Steven? This is a surprise. How are you?”

  “Cut the sweet talk and tell me where she is!”

  “Oh, don’t know where your wife is Mr. Hart?” Lynn’s voice came back edged with sarcasm.

  Steven scowled furiously. Jessica had told her the truth about their relationship. “No, I don’t!” he growled back, holding the phone so tightly that his knuckles went white. “Don’t try to be cute, Ms.Rogers, I warn you. Just tell me where she is!”

  “She asked me not to tell you,” Lynn returned stubbornly.

  “Lynn,” he spoke, his voice carrying dangerous undertones, “In case you aren’t aware, I happen to own the company you work for. Now, if you don’t want me to fire you right now, you will tell me where Jessica is. Is that clear?”

  He was met with a maddeningly long silence then Lynn said, “You may go ahead and fire me if you want, Mr. Hart, but I won’t tell you!”

  Steven slammed the phone cursing vehemently. Then he remembered Niki and called her. To his annoyance, some incompetent help on the other side put him through to Shari. Her lilting voice came back delighted. “Steve! What a surprise!”

  He gritted his teeth then managed politely. “How are you Shari? Er…I was looking for Niki. Do you happen to know if she’s around?”

  A sigh of regret reached his ears. “What a let-down you are! Since it’s Niki you’re looking for, I’m sorry. She isn’t in town. She took off with Sean and Jessica for Hawaii…”

  “Hawaii?!”

  “Yes, she said she’d be at your place out there.”

  “Thanks, Shari, I have to hang up.” Steven hung up despite her protests. He felt a surge of relief wash over him. Jessica had not left him.

  Later that day, he entered his office and had his secretary cancel all his appointments. He told Burt Connors, his vice-president to take over for a few days before asking his secretary to get his private jet ready for Hawaii. He hated being extravagant but this just couldn’t wait.

  “Sir,” his secretary called out entering his office with a large envelope. She placed it on his table. “This came for you yesterday. It’s marked Private and Confidential so I didn’t open it.”

  Steven nodded absently, collecting papers and shoving them in his laptop bag. “I’ll check it later, thanks Susan.” He placed the envelope with the other papers and rose to leave. He ran a tight schedule and he could easily catch up with some paper work during the flight.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The magic of Maui, the second largest of the Hawaiian Islands, was something that even the staunchest of pessimists could not resist. Jessica in comparison was small fry. The turquoise waters, the golden stretch of sand, the emerald palms and the exotic flowers enthralled her. She had somehow never visited these islands and their beauty now held her spellbound.

  At the Kahului airport, a chauffeur-driven road ranger awaited them to transport them to the Hart villa. The travel was around three hours long and Jessica relaxed against the comfortable seat to enjoy the ride. They took the highway 360 that was known for the spectacular display of natural beauty. The rains that fell on Haleakala, the island’s volcanic crater, cascaded down the road covering it on either side with thick, jungle-like vegetation. The highway twisted tortuously in and out of gorges, past innumerable waterfalls, and over more than fifty tiny one-lane bridges. Sean informed the cousins that the route was ablaze with color all the year round, displaying orchids, rainbow eucalyptus and African tulip trees with their orange blossom. Since they were in no hurry, they stopped at rest houses at periodic intervals, marveling at the stunning beauty of the island.

  The Hart villa lay just beyond Hana, one of the isolated towns on Maui. White-washed and a single storey high, its front lawn boasted of an enchanting tropical landscape while at the back, a swimming pool glittered happily. Beyond it, the grounds stretched to disappear into tall, swaying coconut trees that rose out of the sands and ended at a crescent shaped beach.

  A uniformed butler opened the door for them and Jessica was amazed to find a staff of six awaiting them. All were locals and dressed informally. One housekeeper, cook, butler, gardener and two parlor maids welcomed them with polite courtesy. The house certainly needed looking after, Jessica decided, after she entered it. On the outside, it had not appeared to be as sprawling as it was from the inside. The structural design of the villa was a semi-circle that ran equally from one end to the other. Sean informed her that it housed besides a large lounge, a dining-room and a kitchen; a study with a well-stocked library, computer and internet access, an entertainment room complete with a home theatre system and a dance floor on the ground level and around ten rooms on the first level. Upon entering, the main hallway held two staircases, one on the left and one on the right. In the center, one door opened into the lounge. Beyond the lounge, lay the dance floor. In the hallway, two other doors led to the kitchen, dining-room, study and the entertainment room.

  “Wow, if it isn’t The Great Gatsby’s joint!” Jessica mumbled but Sean caught the remark and laughed.

  “A bit excessive isn’t it?” he asked, smiling without offence, “Actually Steve made this years back when he made his first couple of millions. It was as if he really wanted to do a Great Gatsby for his ex.”

  Jessica winced at his words and wondered if all men who were dumped as driven to make a point as Steven. She was glad when the butler came to show to the master bedroom on the first level, where she was obviously expected to stay for the visit. It made her realize that she was Mrs. Steven Hart and the official mistress of all the houses that he owned. Everyone
chose to show her that respect and it somehow warmed her heart.

  One of the maids, Doris arranged her clothes in the closet and showed her the general workings of the bathroom. When she left, Jessica took her own time to admire the huge bedroom. It held simple furniture with a large four-poster bed in the middle, a dressing table and a seating arrangement complete with cozy, cane chairs and a tea table. The bed sheets and cushion covers had a light, floral pattern keeping in tune with the color found on the island. It wasn’t Steven’s style but she guessed he didn’t come here enough to care.

  The room held large, French windows decorated with sheer, white lace curtains that flitted here and there as the tropical wind blew under them. The windows opened onto a balcony that connected all the rooms on both the sides of the villa. It overlooked the back portion of the house, giving a breathtaking view of the swimming pool, the coconut trees and the glittering ocean that lay beyond them. The balcony also had several staircases that led directly into the backyard so that any guest could access the beach at any hour.

  It was late in the evening and Jessica decided on a quick shower to wash off the journey’s exhaustion. She opened the wardrobe for a change of clothing but the sight of Steven’s clothes caught her off guard. She simply stood staring at the informal clothes imagining them adorning his perfect form. She had always seen him in business suits and dinner jackets and now she longed to see him in a casual pair of cotton jeans. You can keep longing all you want to, she told herself wistfully, this is Hawaii and he was far, far away.

  ***

  Jessica awoke early the next day, pleasantly disturbed by the morning calls of the island birds. She washed up quickly and slipped into a leaf green bikini over which she wore a pair of cotton shorts and a red tee shirt. She chose beach sandals for her feet and drew her hair back in a bobbing ponytail. Finally, she draped a towel over her shoulder and headed for the beach through the French windows.