With a sigh, I leaned against the counter as I waited for them to make up their minds.
One of my co-workers, Halley, joined me a few minutes later. “Hey, you okay?” she asked. “You look kind of down.”
Probably because I am, I thought to myself. But your insides don’t have to match your outsides. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I managed with a chipper smile.
“Hey, you never did tell us what happened during those three months when you were gone.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I waved my hand in the air dismissively. “What happened isn’t important.”
“Then why don’t you tell anyone? If it’s not important then it shouldn’t be such a big idea to talk about it, right?” she asked inquisitively. I frowned.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Susan thinks you ran off with some guy and got married but I told her that’s nuts since you don’t even have a ring,” Halley pointed out. “If you ask me, you went on some killer vacation. I mean, I don’t really know how you paid for it. We make a decent paycheck here, but we aren’t rich or anything. But I guess you could have done it with a budget. People do it all the time.”
I pretended to listen but already my thoughts were wandering elsewhere. All I had to do was close my eyes for a mere second and there he was, haunting my thoughts. I tried to forget about him all the time but that just seemed to bring him into sharper focus.
And it was useless because Aaron didn’t want me anymore. He hadn’t reached out. Hadn’t called. Hadn’t emailed. He’d probably moved on by now – found some other girl to fuck.
I ground my teeth in agitation. Why had I been so foolish? Of course, he wasn’t just going to give my mother a million dollars. I should have known it was all one big lie from the beginning.
Fuck.
“Melanie? Are you still listening to me?” Halley asked, waving a hand in front of my eyes.
“Hmm?”
“Are you going to tell me or not?”
“Really, it’s none of your business,” I replied, a bit more tersely than I wanted to. “And I really don’t appreciate you and everyone else talking about my personal life. Don’t you guys have something better to talk about?”
Halley looked at me like a deer caught in headlights. Usually, I was soft-spoken and kept to myself but the depression that had settled into my soul was making it harder and harder to pretend like everything was okay. To me, it felt like the whole world was giving way at my fingertips. And the last thing I needed was some co-worker asking me about the three months of my life that I was so desperately trying to forget.
“Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Halley,” I called after her. But it was too late. She was already talking to some customers. I sighed. I couldn’t do anything right these days.
Without a word, I walked back to the couple. “Have you made a decision?” I asked as I stood there with my pencil poised expectantly.
“Yes, we are going to share the pepperoni and mushroom pizza,” the woman said, pointing to the menu.
“Perfect. Would you like anything to drink?”
“We’ll both have a glass of red wine.”
“Would you like our house special for the day or is there a particular brand you’re interested in?”
“The house special is fine,” the man chimed in.
“Perfect. That’ll be out for you in just a moment.” I forced a smile in their direction. Hey, I still needed to make money and without tips, this job paid close to nothing.
With their order in hand, I slipped into the kitchen where Mia skillfully stretched a blob of dough into a perfect circle. With each pass of her hands, the circle grew bigger and bigger. Once it was large enough, she started to toss it into the air in an iconic, pizza-making gesture.
“We’re going to need a pepperoni and mushroom.” I said as I leaned against the wall, mesmerized by her movements.
“All right.”
“Mia, do you mind if I ask you something?”
“Hmm?” The older woman raised an eyebrow in question. “What is it, dear?”
“How do you know when you’ve found the one?”
She smiled knowingly. Mia had been married for the past thirty-five years. Occasionally her husband, Harry, would walk into the restaurant and greet his wife with a kiss. Then he’d pull out a bouquet of flowers out of thin air and present them to her. Mia always blushed to the high-heavens on those days. Seeing them melted my heart.
That’s what I wanted. A pure, everlasting kind of love. Was that too much to ask? Was I not someone who deserved a devoted and loving husband?
I bit my lip to keep my emotions from bubbling up to the surface. As always, Aaron came to mind. He was the one man I’d given my heart to. I’d loved him, and he had kicked me to the curb without a second thought. Logically I knew that I should just get over him and move on, but he’d left an imprint on my heart and it felt impossible to forget him.
“That’s a difficult question to answer,” Mia began while layering on a thin layer of tomato sauce and sprinkling on a thick coating of cheese.
“Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have asked.”
“No. No. You’re young. I understand. You want to make sure you’re making the right decision with your life before you jump into a commitment.” She paused, placing down the pepperoni. “What I will say is that things have changed. When I grew up, things were different. Women were expected to marry. Most of us did so straight out of high school. Now, girls go to college. They get their own careers and follow their own paths. So if I were you, that’s what I would do.” She looked up and offered me a smile.
I mulled over her words, letting them digest.
“What was his name?” she asked conversationally.
“Aaron.”
She nodded. “Try to move on, dear. Holding onto his memory will only hurt you.”
Deep down, I knew that she was right. “I’m trying,” I said before leaving the kitchen, my shoulders slumped.
The dining room was practically empty. It was a slow night, which meant I’d be alone with my thoughts. I pushed Aaron out and instead focused on my plans for the future. For the past six months I’d saved up every single penny and I finally had enough to go back to school.
I’ve always wanted to go to college. In fact, I had been accepted into some pretty famous art schools but with my father’s death and my mother’s alcoholism, I had been forced to turn down the offers, much to my dismay. Now, trying to get back into those schools was incredibly difficult. I had been out of school for quite a while and had grown rusty over that time, but I was determined.
A few months ago, I had gotten my first acceptance letter, and made my decision to go. Now, in a couple of weeks, I would start my first semester. That thought alone was both exciting and nerve-wracking. My heart sped up just thinking about it. What would it be like to finally go to college? Would I like it, or would I hate it?
Ding!
Mia appeared at the kitchen window, pushing a fresh pizza onto the ledge. “Pepperoni and mushroom,” she announced with a smile.
I nodded, grabbed the tray, and brought it over to the young couple. “Here you are,” I said with a smile, placing it on the table. “Is there anything else I can get for you tonight?”
“No, you’ve been wonderful, thank you,” the man answered.
The woman stared at him and narrowed her eyes.
As soon as I walked away, I heard harsh whispers spring up from their table. The word ‘jealousy’ kept coming up. Apparently, he had looked at me the wrong way, and I hadn’t even noticed.
With nothing else to do, I started to wipe down the empty tables. On one of the TVs, there was a news reporting on the current success of Aaron Black, billionaire entrepreneur that had recently become the highest paid individual in Tucson. “Now, we bring you a live interview with Mr. Black himself!” the reporter announced in a high-pitched voice.
My eyes widened.
Quickly, I snatche
d up the remote from the counter and changed the channel. I just couldn’t bear to see him. If I was going to move on, I had to get rid of all the reminders that he even existed. The less I thought about him, the better.
I flicked through the channels, eventually settling on a soap opera where an irate woman was yelling at her boyfriend and pounding her fists against his chest. With one quick motion, he grabbed her by the wrists and stopped her. The camera froze, focusing in on their faces that were slowly gravitating together. They kissed. I looked away.
Intrusive thoughts popped into my head. Memories of kissing Mr. Blacks replayed like a movie reel, his lips soft on mine. Why couldn’t I just forget about him?
I went back to wiping down tables in an effort to distract myself.
As I did, Halley appeared behind me, scaring me half to death.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you.”
I shook my head. “Why do you always sneak up on people? And I wanted to say sorry for being so rude earlier. I guess I’m just … I dunno,” I finished lamely.
She smiled slightly. “It’s okay, Mel. We’ve all been there before.” A sympathetic smile played on her lips. “Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to go out with the rest of the crew tonight? I know you usually say no but I think it would do you a boatload of good. Trust me. Whenever I’m having a bad day, a drink or two doesn’t hurt.”
“Where are you going?” I asked. For once, I was actually contemplating going with them.
“Just the bar a few doors down.”
“Well, okay. Mia asked me to close up for tonight, so I’ll meet you there when I’m done.”
“Really?” Halley looked shocked by my answer. “I thought for sure you were going to say no.”
I shrugged. “It’s about time I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I deserve to have some fun too, don’t I?”
Halley chuckled. “That’s right.”
“All right, I’ll see you soon.”
“See you!” Halley called out, already untying her apron and disappearing into the back.
Of course, the young couple decided to take forever and a day to finish their pizza. It was fifteen minutes past closing time when they finally paid their check and put on their coats. They walked with their fingers laced together and lovesick sparkles in their eyes. It seemed they had gotten over their lover’s spat. Good for them.
As soon as they were gone, I opened the checkbook to find a miserable five dollar tip on a seventy-five dollar check. I should have known. With a sigh, I pocketed the five dollars and put the rest in the register. After counting the day’s profits and writing it down in Harry’s record book, I locked up and headed for the bar.
I wasn’t wearing anything particularly fancy but, then again, all I was doing was getting a few drinks. It didn’t matter what I looked like. Dark skinny jeans and a t-shirt would just have to do.
While walking to the bar, I enjoyed the balmy evening air. It felt good against my skin, especially after being cooped up in a hot restaurant for most of the day. The moon was bright and round overhead, casting a silver light over the landscape. At the sound of an owl, I turned my head toward the park. The open field of grass, outlined by tall, thin trees, was strikingly beautiful. I pulled out my phone and took a picture.
Photography was one of those art forms that I was unsure of. When photography was first introduced, it took a lot of skill to take a good shot. But with the development of smart phones, photography became commonplace. Anyone could do it and place any number of filters to make something look good. Was it still art?
I hadn’t made up my mind.
But either way, it was still a perfect means of preserving memories and beauty.
***
Eventually, I reached my destination. My co-workers were sitting at the bar, laughing amongst themselves. As soon as I joined the group, they handed me a beer and continued their discussion about one of the regulars at Harry’s.
“Gerald is such a strange fellow,” Nancy chimed in.
“Strange? That doesn’t even come close to describing him. He’s downright weird,” Halley pointed out. “Every week, without fail, this old man comes in and orders from some “alternate” menu. Like, where the hell did he find that menu, anyway?”
Some of the other servers spoke up, speculating on who he was and why he had such peculiar habits.
I simply sipped my beer and listened to the conversation. I knew exactly who the man was, but I didn’t feel like joining in. They seemed to be having too much fun anyway. I didn’t want to ruin it for them.
Just as I finished my first pint of beer, a guy came over. He had a smirk etched onto his lips and bad intentions painted in his eyes. I knew exactly what he wanted from me.
Still, I smiled politely up at him when he took a seat beside me.
“Mind if I buy you a drink?” he asked.
“No thanks, I’ve already got one.”
The man smiled as if I’d accepted. He didn’t seem deterred as he fiddled with his belt.
“So what’s your name? I’ve never seen you around here before.”
“Melanie,” I answered shortly. “And that’s because I don’t usually spend my time at bars.”
“Oh, where do you usually spend your time then?”
“Work.”
“A hard-working girl, I like that,” he leered, moving closer, a hungry look in his eyes. “Where do you work, sweetheart?”
“A little pizza place,” I managed, leaning back. The guy smelled like garlic.
“That must be nice,” he responded. “So tell me about yourself.” He was trying desperately to strike up meaningful conversation, but it was hard to act interested in this man. He wasn’t at all exciting. Everything about him seemed mundane and dull.
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything.”
“There isn’t much to say.”
“Oh, come on, I don’t believe that for a second. A pretty girl like you?”
I shook my head. “Why don’t you go first?”
He chuckled. “All right. I can do that.” He leaned back in his stool before picking up his beer, swinging down most of it in one gulp. When he was done, he slammed it back on the counter in a crude gesture that made me flinch. “All right, so you want to know a bit more about me, huh? It’s hard to know if you’re interested or if you’re simply being nice.”
I forced a smile, giving him a little nod.
“In any case, I’m just a simple truck driver. I deliver groceries to people who order them online. It’s a pretty decent gig. Nine to five. Then I get the rest of the day to myself. Most days, I watch football or something like that. Enjoy a few cold beers. But lately I’ve grown bored of being alone all the time. I was wondering if you’d like to change that?” He winked at me as he spoke, running his hand up and down his leg.
This drew my attention toward his crotch, which was beginning to tent. Blushing, I looked away just as soon as I realized what I was doing.
He leaned forward. “What do you say?”
“I, um….” All I could do was look at him, utterly lost for words. I was out of my element. Bars had never been my scene. Besides, obvious flirting just felt banal – I was clearly out of my element. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to answer that? I didn’t want to go home with this man but, at the same time, I didn’t want to upset him. He seemed decent enough. I just wasn’t attracted to him. But surely, someone else would be.
I held onto my drink. It was still full, but the froth had disappeared. I stared at the yellow liquid, trying to come up with a response. If my mother were here, she’d probably down the beer and say something witty right away.
He sighed. “You know what, forget it.” Suddenly, there was a bashful look on his face. “I can tell that I’m getting nowhere. So don’t worry about it.” He offered a warm smile. “I’ll see you around.”
“See you,” I answered in a numb voice. For a while, I watched as he moved around the bar, jumpin
g from woman to woman, hoping to get lucky. Even though he was a blatant flirt, somehow, he always maintained a certain level of respect. At least he wasn’t a total pig like most men. He was honest about what he wanted.
I got up, glad that I had parted with that man on good terms. Maybe I would see him around and maybe next time, things would be different.
“Where are you going?” Halley looked up and giggled. She was already intoxicated. Her eyes sparkled with a glazed-over sheen. “You just got here!”
I glanced at my watch. “I’ve been here for over an hour.”
“But it’s not even midnight yet. Come on, you can’t really be tired.” Halley protested while she tried to get up from her stool. She stumbled badly, her face flushing as a drunken giggle escaped her lips. Another girl grabbed her arm and steadied her.
“Sorry guys, I’m just a little tired. Rough week. I think I’m just going to head home and catch up on some sleep.”
“Aww, you’re no fun!” Halley slurred, still struggling to her feet.
I smiled. “Maybe next time.”
“You always say that.”
“Go on, or she’s never going to let you leave.” Nancy waved her hand in my direction.
I nodded and whispered my gratitude before making an escape.
Outside, the crisp breeze had turned nippy. I pulled my shawl tighter around my body, trying to ward off the frigid air. I walked quickly, hoping to get home as soon as possible.
I wasn’t used to walking home at such a late hour. The streets seemed darker. The shadows more threatening. Every time I heard a sound, I couldn’t help but glance over my shoulder and worry that someone was following me.
My heart beat a little quicker as droplets of sweat formed along the back of my neck. When I was with Aaron, I never felt this scared.
Ugh. Why did I have to go and think about him again? I was doing so well, too. I thought socializing would help me forget about him but of course, it hadn’t. That guy who had tried to pick me up at the bar only made me even more aware of the fact that no one could quite compare to the irresistible Mr. Black.
I sighed. When would this pain in my heart go away? When would I finally forget about him and move on?
Buying A Bride Page 17