To Have & to Hold

by Mackenzie Lucas

  She blushed, the heat spread over her face and down her neck, prickling as it moved across the tender spot on her neck.

  “And I protect what is mine to the death.” With those last words, he moved, giving her space to close her car door.

  “Yeah, I’ve experienced your protection and it almost killed me. No, thank you. Not this time.” She slammed the door.

  Cate gripped the steering wheel tight and her whole body trembled as she floored the gas pedal and raced down the winding road to the village. She glanced back only once and wished she hadn’t given in to the temptation because she’d never forget the vulnerable, heart-stabbing image of her sexy, wounded husband standing on the cliffs, his broad shoulders hunched, hands in his pockets as he stared out over the churning Celtic Sea.

  He’d never looked more alone or broken.

  When she reached the village, she flipped down the visor to assess the damage. She almost didn’t recognize the sultry creature who stared back at her in the visor mirror. Swollen, rosy lips. Wide, luminous eyes. And bedraggled rain-soaked hair.

  She stretched her neck to examine how bad the hickey on her neck looked.

  She gasped. Horror-struck.

  Below her ear, a tattoo of a dragon five-inches in diameter blazed in living color. The haunting image of Grayson’s alter ego stared back at her from the skin of her neck. She traced the inked artwork of a fierce European winged dragon with one caramel-colored eye and one moss-green eye. The scales, beautiful in their glory, glowed amethyst, sage, cobalt, sienna and amber.

  The Latin words stretched across a narrow banner below the tattooed beast.

  Cave, Hic Sunt Dracones.

  Beware, here be dragons.

  Chapter Three

  One Month Later (March)

  Cate couldn’t believe her eyes. She’d never escape the bastard now. Ever. Damn. She tossed the plastic stick bearing the blue plus sign into the trash can. Pregnant. In her wildest daydreams she’d never imagined she’d be having Grayson’s baby. The Fates must be laughing themselves crazy.

  It had been a month since she’d left England. He hadn’t tried to stop her and he hadn’t come after. And that’s just what she wanted. Really. It was.

  Then why did her chest ache at the thought of him? She massaged the spot with the heel of her hand. She’d told him she needed time to figure everything out. He’d taken her at her word. And why wouldn’t he? She’d warned him not to follow her. Only a crazy man would pursue his wife after such a strong edict. And while Grayson was many things, he wasn’t entirely crazy in that way.

  Her breath shuddered in her lungs. A baby. Possibly a dragon baby. How the hell was she going to do this? She knew nothing about raising a child, let alone a dragon mage. She splayed her hand on her belly. A baby grew there. A monster. She caressed the still-flat abdomen. No, not a monster. A precious child. Tenderness calmed her initial frenzy. She’d always wanted a child. But not this way. Never this way. Alone. Coping with the fallout of a broken marriage.

  Well, not totally broken in the eyes of the law, because she refused to divorce Grayson. Marriage was sacred. As far as she was concerned, their vows were binding. Period. And if he wanted to end the marriage, he’d have to find her first.

  Not that he’d bothered.

  Tandem tears snaked down her cheeks. She huffed and swiped at the moisture. She refused to cry for the bastard who had put her through such hell. He didn’t deserve her tears or her pity.

  And yet he needed to know he had a baby. Even if she didn’t want him anywhere near her, he had a right to know he might have a son or a daughter. She couldn’t keep that secret from him. It would be wrong. And her grandparents had taught her better.

  She padded through the master bedroom, down the stairs, and into the great room to make the call. Cradling the phone in her lap, she curled into the soft leather sofa, drawing her knees to her chest. She laid her head back on the armrest and closed her eyes. No point in waiting. Better to get the unsavory deed over with now. She sucked in a calming breath and released it as she dialed their number in Cornwall. It was Saturday. Grayson should be there. The tinny ring echoed across the miles. Panic and loneliness mingled in Cate’s gut to make her want to throw up. She broke out in a cold sweat.

  Grayson didn’t pick up the phone. He didn’t know her new cell number. He might let it go to message if he didn’t recognize it on caller ID.

  She’d watched the media splash he’d made a month ago when he’d reappeared after a year’s absence, taking up the reins of his legal practice in London as if nothing had happened. He’d made a comment or two in a press release, stating he’d been in an accident that had required a long convalescence. Please respect his privacy, yada, yada. No mention of the money that was rumored to have been embezzled. When cornered by reporters and asked directly, he’d stated an investigation would be conducted by a private third-party consultant to get to the bottom of the issue. And the International Bar Association would be monitoring the investigation against him as well as the current business dealings of Cooper & James.

  If Grayson needed money, all he’d had to do was ask. She’d invested heavily in his practice, but the money had been a wedding gift as far as she was concerned. It belonged to him.

  Cate had never wanted for material possessions growing up. Even though she’d inherited money from her grandparents ten years ago and she had trust funds that would keep small countries afloat, she didn’t live extravagantly. Never had. Neither had her grands. Not compared to others in their circle.

  But she would have given Grayson anything he needed. If only he’d asked. He hadn’t. He’d taken it, like he always did, with a confidence and entitlement she didn’t understand. Like a prince who deserved everything and anything his fingers touched.

  The phone went to the answering machine.

  Grayson’s husky voice sent a quiver of awareness through her. Longing punched her in the chest. Maybe she should go back? What if something had happened to him? Fear spiked, sending a chill of dread tingling through her. No. Someone would have called. Besides, she was done protecting Grayson Cooper. She had a baby to think about now. To raise. With or without his support.

  She left a message. “Grayson, it’s me. I need to talk to you. It’s about our future. Please, call me. It’s important.” She rattled off the telephone number where he could reach her.

  Cate could do this. Even if Grayson continued to ignore her. Although, she didn’t really think he would, not after her call. He’d interpret her message as an invitation back into her life and he’d think she now knew what she wanted from him. And she did. Kind of. She wanted him to know he had a child. But she wanted him to stay on his side of the pond until he could control the beast that raged inside him. She didn’t trust him. And while she had an obligation to let him know about their child, she didn’t want him anywhere near her yet.

  He didn’t know where she’d gone. She’d be safe enough for now. The trust paid all her bills and Grayson couldn’t access any trust records without her permission. There wasn’t a paper trail to follow. No credit card transactions. No bills with her current address. She’d made it clear to her state-side lawyers, Grayson had no rights where her trust or she was concerned. She’d gone totally off the grid.

  Cate wouldn’t be found until she wanted to be found. And who knew how long that would be? Even she couldn’t tell. She kept flip-flopping, riding on the tide of her emotions. She wanted him. She didn’t. God, she didn’t know. Yet a baby changed everything. Despite all he’d done, she still loved him. That she knew for certain. And she hated it.

  Happy here in the mountains of Pennsylvania, she’d found her haven in the storm. Alone. Without a man. No Grayson. No Michael. It felt good to worry about no one but herself for the first time in years. And she was getting stronger. No one would think to look for her in this remote location, where the nearest burb was Laughlintown twenty miles away on Lincoln Highway. The winding, two-lane country road was a three-hour
trip from Breezewood over the mountains.

  The wildness of the area suited her.

  The rural setting calmed her.

  The mountain chateau had belonged to her grandparents. They’d lived out their golden years here in the Laurel Highlands in Southwestern Pennsylvania. The house stood at the edge of Linn Run, where Grove and Rock runs joined to create a wide mountain stream known for trout fishing. Chatelaine’s Rest sat on a ten-acre wooded plot bordering both Linn Run State Park and Forbes State Forest.

  Cate looked at the beautiful home with new eyes. This would be a perfect place to raise a child. Especially a dragon child. The secluded, forest location would give them the space and privacy they needed to train. No one would bother them. And the spacious chateau surrounded by woodlands, with its cathedral ceilings, wide picture windows facing the burbling stream, and open floor plan would accommodate a growing dragon, even one learning to control his untamed nature.

  She could raise this child alone. The decision would depend on Grayson’s response to her. For now, she’d take it one day at a time.

  #

  “Grayson, it’s me.” Cate’s voice cut across the room.

  Michael James happened to be sitting in the livingroom of Grayson Cooper’s house when the message came in. Grayson was upstairs showering. They’d planned to meet today to go over a strategy for the Jorgensen case.

  He hadn’t heard from Cate since the day a month ago when she’d unexpectedly left town with that stupid dog. The same day, apparently, Grayson had come back from the dead.

  Anger erupted, hot and uncontrolled. He’d been so close. And Cate and Grayson had gone and wrecked all his plans. Big plans that would have made him the wealthy husband of a widowed heiress. If only Grayson had stayed dead.

  He took a calming breath. He would recover.

  Grayson suspected nothing, and Michael had planted enough seeds of doubt where Cate was concerned that Grayson suspected his wife might have played a hand in his accident on that boat a year ago. Grayson believed him.

  Michael had also painted Cate as a desperate woman who’d lost most of her money in the stock market plunge during the recent economic downturn. The trust fund was sealed airtight. Grayson couldn’t investigate his suspicions. And what else would explain Cate’s quick exit at the appearance of her husband?

  This time he’d make sure Grayson was dead before he left the scene, not leave the finishing touches up to nature or the whims of a capsizing boat. How the hell Grayson Cooper had survived, he had no clue. If the gunshot wound hadn’t killed him, the sinking boat should have finished him off. But it wouldn’t happen again. The man didn’t have nine lives.

  Michael had been careful. Oh, so careful. Nothing would stick to him. He was smarter than Grayson. He walked to the answering machine and pushed play. He pulled out his mobile, opened Cate’s contact information, and punched in the new number she’d left on the message. And then, listening to the water running upstairs, he deleted the message from the answering machine.

  Cate would think her husband had given up on her. Satisfaction filled him. And her poor dope of a husband had no idea. The Trojan e-mail and Internet monitoring system would keep Michael one step ahead of Grayson at all times. A quick trip to the postmistress in the village, to tup the woman in the dusty back room before he headed back to London, would be all it took to divert any post from Cate to her husband. He had Sherrie Davenport wound tightly around his dick. He couldn’t help the smile that blossomed. Life was good.

  He reached down and adjusted himself.

  This game made him feel so alive.

  #

  Two weeks later, Cate held Grayson’s definitive answer in her hands. She sobbed. A certified letter from her husband had arrived, forwarded to her from the trust manager.

  This wasn’t what she’d wanted.

  She’d sent a letter detailing the situation to Grayson in Cornwall the same day she’d placed the call. She now had her answer. The legalese was mind-bending, but the essence? Grayson Cooper abdicated all custodial rights to any child Cate might bear as a result of their encounter on 07 February 2011.

  Cate couldn’t believe her eyes. His signature, bold as day, sealed the legal document. Grayson Cooper had lied to her once again. You are mine, Cate. And I protect to the death what belongs to me. The words whispered through her mind. He didn’t care that he also had a child. He wanted nothing to do with their child or with her. Damned if she’d beg him. Fucking prick.

  She’d raise this child on her own after all. Well, maybe not quite alone. She’d had two weeks to think about the situation and plan a solid course of action. She understood what she had to do for her sake and the baby’s. For crying out loud, she knew nothing about giving birth to a child who might be half-dragon and half-human. There were risks she couldn’t take with normal doctors, especially country doctors in rural Pennsylvania.

  The next call she made was to the office of David Pierson, the head of the North American Dragon Mage Consortium located in New York City. When she and Grayson had married in a huge society wedding in Martha’s Vineyard four years ago, David presided over their vows. She’d known nothing at the time about dragon shifters, but now she understood why he’d pressed his number on her, squeezing her hand affectionately after the wedding to say, “If you’re ever in trouble, Cate. Call me. I’d be glad to help you sort it out. No matter how crazy or fantastical the situation seems.” He’d known about Grayson’s dragon mage heritage. She sighed. If only she’d known back then. Everything would be different.

  She called Pierson for help a week before the boating accident, when she’d thought the monster would kill her. David had helped her see the benefit in giving Grayson a year to battle the dragon in the safety of enchanted confines. He’d coached her through it. So when the opportunity presented itself a week later, she’d been ready to trap the monster.

  Now, she needed help again. This time, a dragon mage midwife. Someone to walk her through this pregnancy and birth, someone to help protect her and the child in case Grayson ever changed his mind and decided “to death” meant her death or her child’s.

  Chapter Four

  One Week Later (April)

  It had been two months since Cate had left him. April sun filtered through the wall of windows overlooking the cliffs. A bloom of spring color greeted him. Hedgerow flowers in periwinkle and purple, bluebells, fuchsia sea thrift, and golden daffodils created a blaze of color that made Grayson long for Cate. She loved this time of year in Cornwall.

  Do not follow me. I need distance and time to figure out what I want. Clearly she didn’t want him. He’d not heard a single word from her. But it had been a long, tough year for her. So he didn’t begrudge her the time necessary to come around. And he understood Cate. She would come around. She loved him. If anyone grasped the concept of unconditional love, it had to be Cate.

  Given a second chance, he’d have explained, early on in their courtship, the one-in-five-hundred chance he still had of transitioning into a dragon. The change for most dragon mages occurred in childhood, before five years old. If the male didn’t change as a child, the odds were that he’d never change. He figured he’d only carry the gene to the next generation and the dragon shifter trait had skipped him.

  He’d planned to tell Cate before they decided to have any children, so she could make an informed decision. And although children were high on his list of priorities, he would have forgone them if Cate didn’t want to bear dragon children. He would have understood. It wasn’t a normal thing for a woman to consider. But the change had come upon him unexpectedly in his thirty-eighth year, at the beginning of their third year of marriage before he could figure out a way to broach the subject of mythical dragons and their offspring.

  A loud knock sounded at the door. No one bothered him, except Michael. And he tolerated Michael only because he was building a case against the mongrel in order to put him behind bars for a very long time. He would exact justice for the crimes his o
ld friend had committed. One way or another. And the weasel had lost no time in pointing fingers at Cate. Casting aspersions on her character. Hinting that she’d tried to kill him and she’d misappropriated her own money. God, did Michael think he was stupid? Certainly. He must, the slimy git.

  Someone pounded on the door again. This time harder. “Hold your horses.” Grayson yanked the door open, then stood dumbfounded for the span of several seconds. “Good God, David? What are you doing here?”

  Shock rocketed through him at the sight of the leader of the North American Dragon Mage Consortium on his front porch. Built like a bodyguard, David never ceased to amaze Grayson with his gentility and grace. This is what could happen if a dragon mage transitioned as a child. Calm confidence. Strength. Leashed control. A shot of envy left a glaring hole at his core.

  He shook the man’s hand, bumping opposite shoulders, and pounded on his back. “It’s been, what? Four years? What brings you to Cornwall?”

  David smiled at him. “You do, old man.” He slapped Grayson on the arm as he stepped around him into the foyer. “Wanted to find out how you were handling Cate leaving you.”

  Grayson closed the front door harder than he’d intended. Tension gripped him. He didn’t want a challenge from any of the mage leaders. Not now. Not before he won his wife back.

  Grayson scowled at David, hating the turn this whole situation could take if mage politics played a role.

  David turned to study him.

  The dragon mage leader stood over six feet tall. Broad and muscled.

  They faced off, eye-to-eye.

  David’s parents had sent him to England to attend the private boarding school that catered to the offspring of mages. They’d been allies for longer than Grayson could remember. And, yet, he’d always known David would be a formidable enemy if he ever found himself pitted against the younger mage who’d proven himself a scrappy fighter and a great strategist. Grayson had learned everything he’d needed to know about dragon lore and history and politics at the same school. Just not how to control a shift he’d never expected to hit him.