by Bianca Vix
“Need any help with that stuff?” I make the offer without thinking. Fuck.
He sets down a large suitcase that I don’t recognize. “No, I’m good. It looks like more than it is.”
Lucy’s circling around Josh and then me. He bends down to scratch her behind the ears. That always calms her down, but not now. She barks at him and rears up, her front paws landing on Josh’s legs.
“Get down, Lucy.” I make a move to grab for her collar, but she dodges me.
“It’s okay.” Josh extracts himself. “Maybe I can come visit her sometime?”
I swallow an unexpected lump in my throat. “Yeah, sure. Or she could go stay with you for a visit if you want.”
“Right. Got it.”
Josh pauses as if he’s got something more to say, but he appears to think the better of it. I hold the front door open, gripping Lucy’s collar firmly so she won’t run out. Josh’s probably got two trips worth of stuff to take down, but he’s hauling it all out into the hallway.
“That’s it.”
“You sure you don’t need any help?” It’d be easier between the two of us.
But he shakes his head. “No, I’ve got it. I’ll see you, Ryan.”
“Yeah.”
I guess he doesn’t want to spend anymore time with me than necessary. I lock the door behind him and let go of Lucy. She runs off towards the living room as I detour to the liquor cabinet. I’m not drunk. Given how much I’ve had to drink tonight, I should definitely be drunk.
I take the bottle with me back to the sofa and pour out a very generous amount. All I can do is stare out at the city lights. I’ve always loved the view here and it’s especially spectacular at night. It usually makes me believe that there are no limits. That anything’s possible.
Now I don’t care. I put my glass down and Lucy comes over, jumping up and setting her head on my lap. I stroke her slowly, relaxing until my phone vibrates and startles us both.
Reaching out for it, I try to tap out a reply with one hand as I keep the other one on Lucy. It doesn’t work. I have to let go. It’s Sherwood again. This is important. I can’t let him down.
Chapter 9
Maiya
I stare at my phone for a full minute after I end the call.
Josh asked me out.
I still can’t believe it. I want to run, dance, shout out my excitement, but I’m at work. I haven’t stopped smiling since the moment his number flashed up on my screen.
I mean, I figured it’d be something about our next session. He’s called me once before, when he wanted to let me know about another exercise he wanted me to try out before our next appointment. Not this time.
He told me before that he and Ryan broke up. I feel bad that it didn’t work out between them. At least, that’s what he told me. But if Josh’s ready to move on, and he wants to do it with me, I’m not one to say no.
No way.
I’m a wreck. I’m running behind and I have no idea what to wear. This isn’t like me. Not at all. Going out on a first date never makes me nervous, especially if it’s with a guy I already sort of know.
Getting ready for tonight is really doing my head in. It’s Josh. I like him. A lot. Why that’s putting me on edge, I have no idea. I shove aside the annoyingly relentless thought that he could be the one for me.
No. It’s not possible. If he’s not with Ryan anymore, that happened really recently. At most, I’m a rebound for him. That alone should’ve made me turn him down.
But there was no way I could do that.
Even if it’s only for a short time, even as a rebound thing, I can’t possibly pass up the chance to be with Josh. He’s too great. I’m into him. I can’t deny it. If there’s even the smallest possibility that something real could happen between us, I have to give it a chance.
So, screw it. I take my best dress out of the closet. I’m going all out for this. I’m going to have to hurry now to get my hair and makeup just perfect. Hell, I’d pay someone to do them both for me if I had the time and the room on my credit card. Tonight’s just that important to me. But I don’t have the time or the money. I can pull it off myself. I hope.
“Maiya. You look spectacular.” Josh takes off his suit jacket after he takes his seat across from me in the restaurant he’s chosen for us.
As much as I’m into being with him, there’s a corner of my mind that’s telling me to be careful. This man’s just come out of a serious relationship. And with a man, no less. I really want to throw caution to the wind. I can’t quite make myself.
After the waiter’s taken our drinks order, I gather up some courage. “I’m really glad you called me, Josh.”
“I’m happy you said yes.” He grins, and I’m melting. Would it be wrong to jump across the table and straddle him right here in the middle of the restaurant?
Yes. Stop it. Focus.
“But I need to ask. Are things with you and Ryan really over?” I flinch as his expression darkens. It’s still a sore subject. I don’t want to cause him pain.
“Yes. We’re finished. I wouldn’t have asked you out we weren’t.”
“I didn’t mean–”
He stops me by taking hold of my hand. “I don’t mind you asking. We’ve been keeping the breakup quiet for the most part, because I’d rather go without anyone at work talking about it. And the last thing Ryan wants is for it to be coming up and somehow getting in the way of FV’s expansion. But it’s more than reasonable for you to want to know.”
“I don’t want to pry. I just want to know that you’re free.”
“Free as an eagle. Have you decided on what you want to eat?” Josh starts to look the menu over.
“Yes.” I already checked out the menu online, so now I have the opportunity to enjoy a quick scan of Josh’s face. His features are so strong and unbelievably handsome, and there’s an underlying warmth to them too. I could stare at him for hours. “I’m going to try the red lentil mushroom pasta.”
“Great choice.” He signals the waiter. “That’s one of my favorites.”
I’m still jittery while we order. It’s as if I downed a few espressos before I came here. The opposite is true. I had a quick drink before he picked me up to try and calm down.
“Tell me about yourself.” Josh leans back in his chair after the waiter heads off.
I laugh. “There’s not much to tell beyond what you know already. I moved to New York right after college. It’s been a struggle sometimes, but since I got this job, it’s been a lot easier.”
“So, you work as an office manager. What’s that like?”
“I like it. Pretty much everyone I work with is great, and the office is always busy. I prefer to be busy when I’m at work. I mean, I can’t see doing it forever. But I haven’t quite figured out what I really want to do.”
I take a sip of my wine. “What about you? How did you get into doing physiotherapy?”
Josh pauses briefly, almost as if he’s trying to decide how much he can tell me. It’s surprising. He’s always appeared to be so open and friendly before now. I guess he keeps parts of himself hidden. That only makes me want to get to know him even more.
“It was because of my older brother.” He swallows some of his wine before setting the glass back down. “When we were kids, he suffered a serious shoulder injury. He had a really hard time with it, and physiotherapy is what helped him get back on track. I never forgot just how much he changed after going through it, and how much physio helped him get back to normal. I wanted to do that. Help change people’s lives for the better.”
“That’s so great, what you do. I never really knew that much about physio until I had to start doing it myself.”
The waiter arrives with our food. I test out my pasta and Josh’s right. It’s really, really good.
“I enjoy it a lot. There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing. And working at FV couldn’t be better. Having a gym as a big part of all the fitness resources we have there is great for the patients. And
it makes it easy to keep myself in shape without much effort too. It’s a great setup. But, I’ve been thinking of leaving.”
“No, you can’t leave.” The words burst out of me before I can stop them. Josh tilts his head, a smile ghosting at the corners of his mouth.
My face flames. “I mean, I’d like to keep working with you. I was so worried about starting physio, and you’ve made me really comfortable with the whole thing. That’s all. Why are you thinking of leaving?”
He gives a small shrug. “It’s complicated. Like I said, I really like the setup there. Still, I’m starting to feel like I should move on. Frankly, it’s Ryan. Every other time we’ve broken up before, it’s been a little awkward at work. Nothing that we couldn’t handle. This time, it’s different. He’s angry at me. And I don’t want to see him anymore.”
My heart sinks. “You’ve broken up before? More than once?” I can’t ask him what I really want to. Does that mean you could still get back together again now? I catch myself again. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry.”
“Not at all. Ryan and I have broken up twice before now. Always for the same reason. He gets too into his work, and our relationship falls by the wayside. He’s promised to change before. And to give him credit, he has.”
Josh picks up a forkful of roasted corn, and doesn’t say anything more until he’s done eating it. “But this time, it’s been really different. Of course changing his business up takes a lot of time. I can accept that. But the way he’s going after this expansion is more like an obsession. It’s all he can think about and spend time on. And he doesn’t even see how differently he’s acting. How much time he was taking away from us as a couple, and how impossible it was becoming to be with him any longer.”
Josh pours out more wine for both of us. “There was no end in sight. So I had to end it. For good. And even though I don’t see Ryan that much at FV, I want more distance from him.”
“I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else to say. I feel bad for him. And Ryan, who strikes me as a nice guy too.
“No. I am. I don’t mean to talk so much about Ryan, not when I’m out with you. But that’s why I’m considering leaving FV. If I do leave, I can always set you up with another physiotherapist. I know a few good ones.”
“Right. That’d be nice.” I still want to tell him No. Don’t go. I look forward so much to our sessions every week.
“I’d feel better about seeing you if we’re not working together. And I want to see you outside of our sessions. A lot more.” Josh locks his eyes with mine. “I’m looking for a relationship, Maiya. One where everyone’s committed.”
My heart jumps. “Really?” I have no idea what I’m saying, or how I sound. I can’t believe that Josh’s telling me this. On a first date. What guy does that ever?
Truly unbelievable.
“Yes.” He leans in closer. “All I want is to find the right person and settle down.”
I clear my throat. He’s so hot. I can’t even find anything else to say. The waiter saves me by coming over to take our empty plates away.
0“Would you like to see a dessert menu?”
All I can do is shake my head when Josh glances over at me. He pulls out his credit card and hands it to the waiter. “Thank you, but we’re done here.”
I wonder if Josh can read my mind. Usually I’d never say no to dessert. But I can’t wait to leave. I want him to take me back to his place. I want this man so much, it takes my breath away. It’s all I can think about.
From the look he gave me as he sent the waiter off, Josh wants me too.
Chapter 10
Ryan
“Well, I don’t care how you do it. Just work it out.” I end the call and toss my phone onto my desk. Another delay in securing the equipment I need that has to be ordered very soon. I need more funding, and I need it soon.
But it’s something else that made me snap at the supplier just now. Josh got in touch with me yesterday, asking me if I’d bring in a few things that he forgot at my place. That shouldn’t be bothering me as much as it is. I don’t want to see him. Not today. So I decided this morning that I’d leave the small box I filled up with them in Josh’s physio room after he’s gone for the day.
Simple enough. But as the day goes on, I’m getting more annoyed by it. He and I are supposed to be over. I don’t want him on my mind at all. Having to get this thing to him is putting him back on my mind.
Plus there’s the fact that he’s also an employee. That was a huge mistake, getting involved with someone who works for me. My own fault, but still.
I never thought it would become awkward. Because I never thought it would end.
I’ve never felt like this about anyone else. Only Josh. I trusted him more than anyone else, too. He knows things about me that no-one else in the world does. Almost all of my secrets.
Fuck it. It’s a waste of time thinking about it. It’s over. He made that clear, and I’m not going to try and convince him otherwise.
I’ve got work to do. This expansion is everything. I need for it to be successful. And it will be. It’s certainly all I need to be thinking about right now. Downloading a new spreadsheet that’s been forwarded to me, I start to analyze the specifics of it.
When I next check the time, it’s later than I thought. FV’s officially closed now. Josh usually stays and works out, but that means he’ll be out of his room by now.
Sweeping the box up from where I left it when I got in, I head downstairs to the physio level. The hallway’s are very quiet, as if I’m the only one left in the building.
The door to Josh’s room is partially open. I’m about to head inside when I catch a glimpse of a movement reflected in the mirrored wall.
I’m not alone. Josh’s still here. Rolling my eyes, I’m about to go in anyway when I stop short. It’s not just Josh. He’s with someone.
It’s Maiya. They’re sitting on the floor together, looking at something I can’t see.
My eyes widen when Josh reaches over and drapes his arm across her shoulders. What happens next makes my jaw drop.
They’re kissing.
What. The. Fuck.
I’m about to turn and walk away. I stop for a moment and deposit the box on the floor beside the door. I’m not going to come back with it when it suits him. And I’m sure as hell not going to go in there now. I stride off, heading down to the gym.
There’s no-one left here. I switch on the lights and go straight over to the treadmill. It’s a good time for a cardio workout.
Seeing Josh with Maiya is making me far angrier than it should. What do I care? He’s free to do what he wants. Just like I am.
Maybe in the back of my mind, I thought we’d get back together again. It’s also pretty damn soon. It’d be one thing to just hook up with someone. But I can’t see Josh doing that with a patient. It’s hard to believe he’s gotten involved at all, in any way, with a current patient of his own. He’s normally really professional about that kind of thing. He definitely wouldn’t have a one-off hookup with someone he still has to work with.
So he must be really into her. I can see why. She’s beautiful. And from what Josh told me when they first started working together, she’s pretty nice and friendly too. Like someone I’d go out with myself, if I wasn’t with him.
In fact, Josh’s always talked about Maiya, right from the beginning. Way more so than he has any other patient. I frown as I swing open the door to the empty gym. He is into her. How long has that been going on?
And did he start up with her before he ended us? Is that why he broke us up?
That idea fuels my rage as I punch at the buttons on the treadmill, ramping the speed up higher. But I can’t believe it for long.
Josh wouldn’t cheat. Even if he wanted to, he’s way too honest to go through with it. I trust him no matter what. That was one of the things that drew me to him in the first place. One of the many reasons I wanted to be with him for a lot longer than just a quick fuck.
Beside
s, if he was truly that interested in having sex with Maiya while we were still together, then he’d have wanted to have a threesome with her and I back when I first suggested it.
I really like that Josh’s a stand-up guy. That’s increasingly rare among the people I work with these days. I try to get the deals I need to make happen done as fast as I can without too much interaction with the more sleazy types that I come across. My endless meetings with Sherwood are the exception to my rule. Because sometimes it takes longer than I’d like to put distance between myself and those types. A lot longer.
Josh’s integrity is what makes it so surprising that he’s with Maiya now. She’s still a patient. It’s not right. The only explanation for what he’s doing is that he’s just that into her. So much so that he’s not waiting until she’s done with her physio.
Damn him.
My phone vibrates. It’s Sherwood.
I can get back to him later.
I jack up the treadmill’s speed even more. I’m running as fast as I can, but I can’t outrun what’s in my head. I miss Josh.
I want him back.
Chapter 11
Ryan
What the fuck? The bottle’s empty. Top-shelf bourbon that I just opened the other day, and it’s gone. I scowl at Lucy, who came with me into the kitchen but then went straight over to her food bowl.
“Did you drink this?” Because I can’t quite believe I drank the whole thing in that little time.
And I barely remember doing it.
She gives me a look then goes back to her dinner.
“Yeah, I know. It was me.” I don’t normally drink like this. Of course, I don’t usually accuse my dog of doing crazy things either.
Things aren’t exactly normal these days. Not really going very well.
But now I remember. I picked up a bottle of gin a few days ago. It’s not my favorite type of alcohol, but at least it’s easy to mix.