The Way We Are
Page 5
The one good thing from Pippa and David’s situation, she thought now, was that at least Ben had seen how devastated Pippa was and he knew how upset Sebastian was too. He’d seen first-hand the destruction caused by David’s one stupid decision. She hoped it would put him off doing anything similar. It had certainly put Alice off. David’s affair had hurt the people he loved most, and for what? A fling? Alice knew that if she was ever tempted in the future, she’d remember Pippa’s tear-stained face and walk away.
The door opened and Ben came in. He held his hands up. ‘I’m sorry, I know it’s almost nine. I know I said I’d be home earlier. I know you’ve been stuck here dealing with the girls on your own. I know you’ve had a long day. I’m sorry. I just lost track of time.’
Alice looked at him. For the first time in ages she really looked closely at her husband’s face. He had black circles under his eyes, and she could see now that he was exhausted. Maybe this was the sort of thing the Sallys of the world did: they just stopped for a minute and took notice.
She took a deep breath. ‘It’s OK. Have a glass of wine.’
Ben looked surprised. He’d clearly been expecting to have his head bitten off. ‘Great, thanks.’
Alice poured him a large one and clinked his glass. ‘Cheers.’
‘Cheers. Gosh, this is nice. I was expecting a different kind of reception.’
Alice smiled. ‘I don’t want to argue any more. I want us to be nicer to each other. So I’m starting today.’
Ben’s face lit up. ‘Sounds wonderful. On that note,’ he pulled an envelope out of his bag, ‘here you go, darling, Happy Valentine’s. Sorry it’s late.’
Alice opened it. It was a voucher for a local spa. He’d got her the same one for her birthday and for Christmas. It was an unthinking present, but he was trying, and she had to acknowledge that.
‘How lovely, thank you.’ She kissed him.
‘I know it’s not a diamond bracelet.’
‘I don’t want a diamond bracelet, Ben. I just want us to be happy.’
‘We are, aren’t we?’ His brow furrowed.
Alice put her hand on his. ‘Yes, we are.’
‘I know I’ve been a bit distracted lately, Alice, but I love you and our life.’
‘Me too.’ Alice hugged him. It was nice. It was the first hug they’d had in ages. ‘Why don’t you go up and have a shower and then perhaps you could help Jools with her maths? She’s sulking in her bedroom. We had a bit of a set-to over it.’
Ben grinned. ‘No problem. I’ll do that now.’
‘Great. I’ll put some dinner in the oven for you.’
Ben kissed her. ‘Thank you, darling. This was . . . well, lovely.’
As she watched him go, Alice thought about how small gestures made all the difference. Granted, she wasn’t going to be sitting here at nine o’clock every night smiling and handing him wine, but this one time had made Ben so happy.
Kevin was right: making Ben happy had made her feel good. She sent Kevin’s number to Pippa, with a promise to meet her very soon, then tidied up the kitchen, lit a candle, poured herself another glass of wine and put Ben’s dinner on a low heat in the oven.
When she went upstairs, she could hear Ben in Jools’s room, patiently explaining her maths to her.
‘You’re so much nicer than Mum. She gets so grumpy with me.’
‘Well, your mum has a lot on her plate. It’s not easy juggling work and kids and the house.’
‘Fine, but from now on I’m only doing maths with you.’
‘Right, let’s move on to the next question.’
Alice punched the air. Yes!
Holly’s bedroom door was open, and Alice went in. Her younger daughter was lying on her bed, reading a book with a little frown of concentration.
‘What’s that?’ Alice asked.
Holly looked up, her eyes full of tears. ‘Wonder. Oh, Mummy, he’s such an amazing boy. His face is all deformed and he’s finally allowed to go to a normal school and it’s so difficult for him to fit in, but he tries so hard and he has this really great sister who loves him and supports him and . . .’
Alice went over and hugged her. She worried about Holly because she felt everything so deeply. Life could be difficult for sensitive people. ‘I heard it’s a lovely story.’
‘Everyone should read it, even Jools. Especially Jools.’
‘Maybe you could lend it to her when you’ve finished,’ Alice suggested.
‘We both know she’d never read it,’ Holly said. ‘Although I wish she would, it might make her understand people a bit more and be kinder.’
‘Hey, now, Jools is kind.’
‘Sometimes,’ Holly reluctantly admitted.
Ben came in and flopped down on Holly’s bed, making her squeal. ‘Finished, thank God.’
Alice grinned. ‘Tough going?’
‘Much as I love my elder daughter, teaching her maths would try the patience of a saint.’
Holly giggled.
‘Thank God I won’t have that problem with you, Holly.’
‘Probably not.’ She grinned.
‘Dinner’s in the oven if you’re hungry,’ Alice said.
‘Sounds great. You coming?’
‘Yes. Night, Holly, put the light out soon,’ Alice said, kissing Holly.
As she went to walk downstairs, Ben pulled her into the bedroom. ‘Could dinner wait a little bit?’ he asked, kissing her neck as he closed the door with his foot.
Alice was about to pull back – she didn’t much feel like having sex. A glass of wine and a chat was what she wanted. But she stopped herself. This was what it was about.
‘I think that can be arranged,’ she said, and kissed Ben. The kiss deepened and they were soon pulling each other’s clothes off. It felt good – it felt like old times. ‘Go with it, Alice,’ she said to herself. ‘Go with it.’
This was what she had to do. She had to put more effort into her marriage – they both did. If they tried hard enough, maybe this slump they were in would disappear, they would find each other again and be happy. Seeing how devastated Pippa was had rocked Alice to the core. She was frightened. She now knew that it took so little to undo the life she and Ben had always thought was unassailable. She’d been stupid to think like that. It just took one impulsive moment and you could lose everything. In a heartbeat. Alice was determined to fight for her marriage and her family – no matter what she had to do.
THE BEGINNING
Let the conversation begin...
Follow the Penguin Twitter.com@penguinUKbooks
Keep up-to-date with all our stories YouTube.com/penguinbooks
Pin ‘Penguin Books’ to your Pinterest
Like ‘Penguin Books’ on Facebook.com/penguinbooks
Listen to Penguin at SoundCloud.com/penguin-books
Find out more about the author and
discover more stories like this at Penguin.co.uk
PENGUIN BOOKS
UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia
India | New Zealand | South Africa
Penguin Books is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.
First published 2016
Copyright © Sinéad Moriarty, 2016
Cover image © Alamy
The moral right of the author has been asserted
ISBN: 978-0-241-97786-6