Delivering Secrets

by Fiona McArthur

  Ellie smile back in relief. ‘They were fabulous. And your grandson is gorgeous, Mrs Donahue.’

  ‘You must have been pretty fabulous yourself. I can’t believe you convinced John to cut the cord.’

  Her husband chimed in. ‘Or sit in the bathroom, rubbing Mavis’s back for all that time.’

  Ellie smiled. ‘He’s a very proud dad.’

  Another couple introduced themselves and had also heard of Ellie through relatives who’d had a baby.

  Then a small, dark-haired woman appeared and there was something familiar about the woman’s face. ‘Hi. I’m Susan. We met when you decided to dress “corporate” for Luke.’

  Ellie placed her. ‘I remember. It’s lovely to see you again.’

  Luke appeared at her elbow and her smile wasn’t as strained as it had been earlier. ‘Everyone is so friendly, I’m feeling better.’

  He slid an arm around her and squeezed her shoulder. A few people looked and smiled at Luke’s gesture. ‘They are all genuine people. You fit in perfectly.’

  ‘Was it that obvious I was nervous?’ The warmth from Luke’s arm seaped into her and it felt too good to slip out from under. ‘So long as these people or their relatives keep having babies, we’ll have something to talk about.’

  ‘I’ve never found your conversation boring, I don’t see why anyone else would.’ He squeezed her shoulder again and the goose-bumps ran down her arms. Ellie sipped her drink to distract herself. He lowered his head and his voice. ‘Did I ever tell you that I think you have the sexiest voice in the whole world?’

  Ellie spluttered a little into her drink. ‘Now who’s flirting?’

  He just smiled and steered her across the room. ‘Come and see the patio. The lights in the pool area are pretty special.’

  As they went out onto the patio they could see strings of fairy lights that ran in different directions, like spokes from a wheel, and hidden lights bathed a waterfall at one end of the pool.

  ‘It’s incredible.’ Ellie leant on the rail and Luke came to stand behind her with one hand on either side of her. She could feel his body against her. It was just too tempting not to lean back into him.

  His voice rumbled in her hair. ‘You are incredible.’

  There was silence for a minute and then he leaned more firmly against her and wrapped his arms around her. Ellie felt safe and warm and a slow burn had started low in her stomach. She couldn’t resist a tiny slide of her bottom from side to side against his thighs and he leant down and nibbled her ear. ‘After this party is over we have to have a serious discussion about our future together.’ Luke’s voice was deep and low and thrummed against her neck. ‘I’ve waited too long for this,’ he said.

  He stepped back and let his arms fall away and she missed the firmness of his body with an ache. Then his shoulder rubbed against hers as he leant over the rail beside her. ‘I may have to stand here for a while. Someone appears to have excited me into a state that’s not publicly acceptable.’

  ‘Now, who would that be?’ Ellie put her hand into his and squeezed his fingers.

  Louise appeared at the door. ‘Entrées are being served, you two.’

  ‘Should I tell Louise?’ Luke teased.

  ‘Tell me what?’ Louise tilted her head. ‘I can see you guys aren’t quite ready to come in so I’ll see you when you’re ready.’

  Ellie and Luke smiled secretly at each other and a few minutes later Luke ushered her to the table. Ellie felt cosseted by his care and she realised it could be addictive.

  The way his warm gaze kept brushing her was affecting Ellie’s appetite. It seemed that the few times she did put something to her mouth Luke was watching, until she found herself glancing at him before her food touched her lips.

  His sleeve would touch her arm, his elbow brushed her side and Ellie felt the tautness inside her coil and intensify with every touch and glance between them.

  The conversation flowed easily among the guests and to Ellie’s surprise her occasional contributions were appreciated and she became even more relaxed.

  Luke watched her with satisfaction. He’d come to a decision. Ellie was what he wanted and he would wait no longer. And the primitive pull that she exerted on him had reached the point where he had to act or go mad.

  He would treat her like the mature woman she was. That had been his problem. She was younger than him but she was no child.

  Look what had happened last time he’d backed off.

  He wasn’t willing to risk losing her for another ten years because of her own insecurities—or his.

  They were the first guests to leave, and alone in the car with Luke on the way to her house, Ellie stole a glance at his profile. The nerves she had suffered on the way to the party were nothing compared to the trepidation she experienced as they drew closer to home. She wished he would just smile at her.

  They pulled up outside her house and she glanced across at him again. ‘Are you coming in?’

  He gave a short, humourless laugh and turned to face her. His eyes met hers with an intensity that started the tremors in her arms again.

  ‘I believe so,’ he said. ‘Wait. I’ll get your door.’

  So she sat there in the dark and listened to the crunch of his feet in the gravel as he walked around the car, and vacillated between capitulation and flight. She knew that he wanted a commitment from her and didn’t think she had the strength to deny him. The car door opened and he handed her out as if she was something precious that needed protecting from the world, and she knew that if everything was perfect she could get used to that.

  The tension stayed while she thanked Lil and saw her out. Luke came with Ellie while she checked on Josh, as if he was unwilling to let her out of his sight, and then there was nothing to do but to make her decision.

  She smiled tremulously at him. ‘I’m frightened that something is going to happen to spoil everything.’

  ‘Nothing is going to happen that we can’t control by being together.’

  His words should have reassured her but a cold shiver crossed her neck and her eyes widened. Suddenly she needed to feel his arms around her and lose herself before all her fears came crashing in on her. ‘Take me to bed, Luke. I need you with me.’

  He crushed her against him exultantly and lifted her into his arms. ‘You only have to ask…’

  She lay against his chest in haze of lust and loneliness that had finally promised to lift, if only for one night.

  He stopped as they went through the bedroom door and closed it behind them, and she knew there was no turning back. She remembered the last time they’d nearly made love and she’d been the one to stop it. He put her down and they swayed together.

  She looked at him, achingly, as he leaned against the door, and the bedside light cast an orange light around the room and across his hips. Slowly, and together, they removed their clothes and then she was falling onto the bed wrapped in Luke’s arms.

  It was all she’d dreamed of and more. Luke’s scent and warmth surrounded her. His hardness against her, his skin on hers, his mouth on her throat. For a half-lucid moment she wished she could watch from the ceiling to keep these memories with her for ever.

  When he entered her it was as if she’d never been with another man, never born a child, had been waiting for him and only him. She cried out as she wrapped her legs around him and wept with the beauty of it. It was as she’d feared. She loved him and she would never be whole without him again.

  Afterwards, he sighed her name and gathered her close to his side as he stroked her hair.

  ‘This is only the beginning, and I’m not going to let you go again,’ he said, and she believed him.

  * * *

  Belinda went spontaneously into labour at six o’clock on Thursday morning. Sam from Maternity rang Luke’s mobile phone and Ellie jumped when it went off beside her bed.

  Before she could reach for it, a showered and dressed Luke appeared from the bathroom and picked it up.

  His s
mile was reassuring as he answered the call. Ellie tucked the sheet under her chin and hoped Josh would sleep in as usual.

  Luke severed the call and sat down on the bed beside Ellie. ‘Belinda’s in labour. And her blood pressure’s stable.’

  His eyes twinkled. ‘They’re going to ring you as Belinda wants you to be there, too.’

  ‘I’ll be right behind you.’ Ellie dashed towards the bathroom, her mind filled with questions about Belinda’s labour. She almost didn’t hear Luke’s comment as he left.

  ‘And I’ll be right behind you just as soon as you realise it’s where I belong.’

  By the time Ellie arrived, June was there as well, and Luke smiled as Belinda kept calling June ‘Mum’.

  He raised an eyebrow at Ellie and lowered his voice so that the other two in the room couldn’t hear. ‘Did you know about this before?’

  Ellie nodded and Luke’s eyes narrowed for a moment before he shrugged. ‘I’ve known them both a lot longer than you—didn’t you think I should know?’

  Ellie nodded again but hesitated to lay the blame on June and Belinda. After another searching look at Ellie, he shrugged at her lack of answer. ‘Anyway, I think it’s great.’

  He raised his voice. ‘Good luck, ladies. I’ll be in contact with the ward between my theatre cases.’ He glanced at Ellie and she winced at the puzzlement in his gaze as he left. Soon this would all be over and everything would be out in the open.

  Then Elsa Farrell arrived. Ellie never figured out how Luke’s mother had discovered that the baby was on its way, but it was too late now.

  Ellie sighed and prepared for battle, but it was June who barred the woman’s entrance to the room.

  ‘I’d like to see you outside, Mrs Farrell.’

  Elsa’s eyes flashed. ‘Not now, June.’ She attempted to brush past and June planted herself in front of her.

  ‘Now!’ June said, and she took the older woman’s arm and steered her into the relatives’ waiting room.

  Ellie and Belinda exchanged looks and Ellie resisted the temptation to move closer to the outside door to hear what was being said.

  ‘Leave them to it. Let’s get you into the shower, Belinda.’ Ellie helped the young woman to stand, and by the time she was sitting on the ball in the bathroom June was back.

  Two bright spots of colour rode in June’s cheeks but she held her head high and there was no doubt who the victor had been. ‘She’s gone, and she’s not coming back until after the baby is born.’ She looked a little shamefaced. ‘I should have done that years ago.’

  ‘How did you do that?’ Ellie couldn’t help the question, and she glanced across at Belinda who was resting with her eyes closed.

  June grunted. ‘I said I’d tell everyone she had an affair with Belinda’s father while her husband was alive. What she did to Belinda and me was because she was jealous I’d had his child.’

  Ellie bit her lip to stop the quiver of amusement that would have been quite inappropriate in the face of June’s ferocity.

  Another contraction started and Ellie swapped back-rubbing places with June. ‘I’ll get some ice for Belinda to suck.’ She smiled warmly at June in congratulations.

  By midday, Belinda was deep in established labour. She’d passed the halfway mark and was half dozing between contractions and sighing loudly as she worked through them.

  Her blood pressure had only crept up a little but if it went up much further Luke had ordered an epidural to help bring it down again. Belinda was against the idea.

  At three in the afternoon, Belinda’s progress was slow yet she was determined. ‘I want to do this naturally. Travis would want me to do this without drugs and I’m going to,’ she panted.

  Ellie nodded and June’s colour was leaching from her face as Belinda became more distressed. ‘How much longer?’ June whispered, and Ellie shook her head.

  Belinda’s dilation had halted and Ellie worried she wasn’t headed for a failure to progress—the same problem that had caused Mavis’s first baby to be a Caesarean delivery.

  Ellie stroked the girl’s knee. ‘Belinda, I get the feeling you’re holding back. Let it happen. Your baby wants to be born and you have to let go.’

  Belinda’s eyes filled with tears. ‘But Travis isn’t here. I was sure he would come.’

  ‘I know, sweetheart, but the baby doesn’t want to wait.’

  ‘He has to come.’ Belinda turned tortured eyes to her friend and Ellie felt the sting of emotion in her throat, too.

  Ellie leaned across and put the tiny foetal Doppler against Belinda’s abdomen. The baby’s heart rate was gradually slowing and the longer the labour continued, the more tired the baby would get. This time the clip-clops of the infant’s heartbeats weren’t much faster than Belinda’s heart rate. Ellie would have to call Luke.

  A choking sound at the door made them all turn, and a bearded stranger stood there. Travel-stained and weary, he had tears in his eyes. ‘I’m here, baby. I’m so sorry it took me so long.’

  Belinda stood up from the shower, brushed past Ellie, nearly knocked June off her seat and stepped into his arms. She pressed her wet belly against his trousers and hung on for dear life.

  ‘I knew you would come. You said you would come.’ And then she burst into tears. As she sobbed the stiffness fell from her shoulders and Ellie reached across and turned off the hand shower. As she watched, Belinda swayed into the next pain as if she’d waited for it, even welcomed it.

  The sound of her breathing changed and Ellie knew the baby’s time was near. But she dreaded ringing Luke. How did she tell him his brother was alive and that she, Ellie, had known? It was even worse now that they had made love, and she could almost feel the sword above her head.

  In the end she didn’t have to ring him. Luke came anyway and the scene must have been hard to fathom in the frozen tableau in the bathroom. But Belinda’s baby wouldn’t wait, and even a resurrected brother couldn’t interfere with the natural course of events. At six minutes past four on Thursday afternoon, Amelia June Farrell was born.

  Afterwards, with Belinda’s baby daughter snuggled against her mother’s breasts and Travis gazing adoringly at his family, Luke shook his head as he tried to make sense of this new situation.

  He looked at Ellie and his eyes narrowed at her lack of surprise. She could see the suspicion grow as he worked it out, and a hard knot of impending doom gathered in her stomach.

  Ellie wanted to pull his head down on her breast and protect him from the fact that his brother hadn’t told him. To say that she was sorry she hadn’t been able to warn him. But it was too late for that.

  ‘You knew?’ His voice was full of incredulity and then disgust at her betrayal. ‘How much more do you know that you didn’t see fit to tell me?’

  What could she say? There had been far too many secrets already. She nodded. ‘I knew.’

  His voice was loaded with contempt and Ellie flinched. ‘How could you allow my grief, my mother’s grief, to continue?’ Ellie wanted to defend herself, but he cut her off.

  ‘You knew I loved you and yet you didn’t trust me enough to share this with me. Well, I have loyalties, even if you don’t. Anthea was right. You are different to the rest of us. I don’t think I could spend my life with someone who doesn’t trust anyone. You’d condone it, wouldn’t you? You believe in running away when things become too hard—trained by your mother, no doubt!’

  Ellie’s eyes flashed. ‘I wouldn’t start on about mothers, if I were you.’

  At that his eyes flared again. ‘Well, mine isn’t going to suffer any longer than she has to. Travis!’ His brother looked up from adoring his baby. ‘We need to see Mother, now! I’ll wait for you at the nurse’s station.’ He cast a final look of loathing at Ellie and stormed out the door.

  June put her arm around Ellie as they stood beside Belinda’s bed. June’s arm was the only warm thing on Ellie’s body. She felt as if a block of ice was wedged in her chest.

  ‘It’s just the first sh
ock talking,’ June said. ‘He’s not a man to hold a grudge.’

  Ellie gave a strangled laugh but the tears behind the sound were clear. ‘It’s a little more than a grudge.’

  ‘There are a lot more people in the secret than just you, and you only had a late warning. That’s a fact Luke should cotton onto once he’s over his grief and anger. Give him time, Ellie.’

  Ellie nodded. She didn’t believe her, though. ‘Thank you, June.’ Ellie looked across at the bed. ‘Congratulations on your granddaughter.’ June grinned in delight and Belinda smiled mistily at her mother.

  June leaned up to kiss Ellie. ‘I should have told Belinda a long time ago. I’m so glad you urged me to tell her before the baby was born.’

  She held her hand out to Belinda and her daughter took it without hesitation.

  Belinda shook her head. ‘I think you’re both wonderful. I’ve got a friend, a husband and a mother, and Amelia has a father and a grandmother. What more could I want?’

  Ellie knew what she wanted, and that was to get out of there. She left them to catch up on all things they had to say. ‘The evening staff will help Belinda get settled in her new room. I have to go home to Josh. I’m working tonight.’ She patted the baby’s cheek, and dropped a kiss on Belinda’s. ‘You were wonderful. I’ll see you later when I come to work.’ She smiled wanly. ‘Your baby is gorgeous and I’m so glad Travis made it.’

  When she left the room, Ellie pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and blew her nose. Well, that was that. Now, if only her own life would sort itself out.

  * * *

  Later, at home, Ellie felt as if she was trapped in a nightmare. She needed the sea breeze to blow away the tensions and emotions of the day.

  As she helped Josh change into shorts, several small bruises on his legs caught her eye. She frowned. She hadn’t noticed them yesterday. Sudden panic caused her to lift up his T-shirt and her blood chilled to see more finger shaped bruises down his back.