Natural Born Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue

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Natural Born Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue Page 14

by Noire


  Dane led us over to the biggest booth in the house. Three high-rollers were chillin’ with mad magnums of Krug and puffin’ on expensive cigars. The one in the middle was fine as hell, and I could tell he was large in the game. He had a cute-ass chick sitting beside him, and she was dripping so much ice there shoulda been platinum puddles all around her feet.

  “Wus good!” The big dude stood up when he saw Dane coming and dapped him out. He was tall and thick. He put me in the mind of Rick Ross, but everything about him was solid and well put together.

  My eyes was wide open. I had a thang for big, powerful niggas. I dug the hell outta them ax-swinging, lumber-jack-lookin’ gigantic dudes like Gutta, and this balla here was definitely all that.

  “Yo, whattup, Siddiq. I got a couple of new honeys with me tonight so shit is all good.”

  Dane turned to me. “Mink, Bunni, this my manz, Siddiq. He’s a business owner here in the city and he’s official, nah’mean?”

  Siddiq reached for my hand, and when I gave it to him he kissed it. I caught a whiff of his breath. It smelled just like he’d been hittin’ that nasty purple drank.

  “New York? That’s word?”

  I smiled and nodded.

  “Yo, I’m ya man Siddiq from Brooklyn, baby! The Ville. Never ran, never will! What y’all know about that there type a’ shit?”

  I glanced sideways at Bunni and we tried not to crack the fuck up! Brooklyn was a big, bad-ass borough and we had pulled a hustle on damn-near every corner of its streets. Downtown Brooklyn was ripe for our particular grind, in fact, we had gotten so good with our light-finger dip game that the police started spotting us before we could spot them, and we had given up our lucrative Fulton Street hustle and relocated to places like Flatbush Avenue or even Pitkin, which was dead smack in Siddiq’s hood.

  “Oh, we know a little bit about Brooklyn,” I said, grinning mysteriously. “It’s one of our favorite towns.”

  “Yo, word?” He elbowed his little cutie and nudged her outta the way. “Get up Stanka and let my homegirl sit down. Yo—what’s your name again, luv? Binky?”

  “Mink,” I stated. “And this is my friend Bunni. She’s from New York too.”

  “Okay, Mink and Bunni! Y’all bring ya fine asses over here! You come over here, Bunni.” His eyes shifted toward the dude on his left and that nigga jumped up like somebody had pressed an eject button under his seat. “And Mink, you sit over here where Stanka was just at.”

  His head swiveled around on his big-ass neck. “Yo, Stanka,” he said to his icy chick who was standing there lookin’ sho nuff stank. “Go chill over there with Bean and nem ’til I holla at you, dig?” He pointed toward a nearby table where a couple of dun duns sat waiting at his beck and call. Stanka shot me some hate, then ran off like a well-trained little monkey.

  Siddiq looked toward the bar and a big-titty waitress appeared outta nowhere. She was wearing booty shorts and a low-cut bra, and I wondered how the hell she was walking around in them ten-inch heels and carrying all them drinks at the same time.

  “Glasses for the ladies,” Siddiq told her. “And another magnum too.”

  He tossed the liquid in his glass down his throat and turned back to me. “Ain’t no party like a New York party, so what brings you two dolls down to Texas?” he said, grilling me with those sexy eyes and giving me and Bunni his full attention.

  “A wedding,” I lied real quick. “Bunni’s friend is getting married down here so we came to show her some love. What about you?” I turned the convo around real slick-like. “You got that mad Brooklyn swagger all over you, pa. What you got going on in the Triple D?”

  “Business,” he said and puffed his blunt. “I’m a record producer, ya dig?”

  I smirked and killed my champagne. Ol’ boy looked certified, but I’d heard that record producer shit too many times to be impressed. Besides, I knew a slanga when I saw one. With all that shine and adornment his ass had to be real deep in the drug game.

  “Yeah, I produce for Black Dungeon.” Siddiq kept talking as he passed me the blunt. The sweet smell of cush felt good sliding up my nose. “And I handle Two-Play and Earth Life in my stable. Rap is fadin’, man. There’s a lotta biters out there and everybody’s shit is starting to sound the same. I came down here last year to find me some fresh new talent to shake up the game. That’s how I got hooked up with ya boy, Danger. I caught him spittin’ one night and his flow game was nice and original like that.”

  We sat in the booth getting toasted up. This kinda shit was right up my alley. Low-level nigs kept coming over to pay Dane and Siddiq their respect, and me and Bunni racked up so many hater looks that I stopped counting.

  All this attention made me miss those days when I used to reign on Gutta’s arm as the queen of the club set. My boo had carried so much weight that dudes envied him and chickens went to bed every night praying they would wake up hatched as me.

  I was vibing live, but something wasn’t smooth across the room. My street intuition was always on point, and I peeped the temperature as soon as it changed. There were some rival camps posted up in the VIP lounge, and some unspoken shit was going down. Every posse that entered the joint either turned right and came over to show love to Siddiq, or they headed left and swung over to a booth where a real buff, light-skinned dude sat chillin’ in a money-green shirt and a matching team fitted.

  After hanging in cutthroat New York City clubs night after night with Gutta, I could spot a turf clash going on even from a distance, and there was definitely no love lost between the two sets up in here tonight.

  The music was crashing and Bunni had been steady dancing in her seat.

  “What’s up with these niggas?” she yelled. “What? Niggas don’t dance down here in Syrup City?”

  I got embarrassed. “That’s Houston! We’re back in Dallas, Bunni!”

  “I don’t give a damn where we at!” she said and got up outta her seat. “Ain’t none of this shit New York!”

  “Yo, Bunni—” Dane tried to call her back, but she had already slid outta the booth and started snapping her fingers and popping her ass. She pranced toward the dance floor like she was about to get loose, but then she turned left until she was standing right in front of the rival camp.

  The dude in all the green was eyeing her, and Bunni did like any natural-born slicksta would do. She zeroed in on his ass like a bullet on a target. She got in a wide-legged stance that made her hips and ass look crucial, and even though I couldn’t see her from the front, I knew that deep split in her na-na was driving niggas wild.

  Dude in the green came up outta his booth and got up in Bunni’s face. He cupped her left ass-cheek in one big hand and threw his rap down in her ear. Bunni tossed her head back and I could tell she liked that shit. My girl was the type who needed it rough and raw, and she would test a dude’s heart in a minute. If a playa didn’t push up on her with more swagger than she was bringing, then Bunni didn’t want shit to do with him. Even from where I was sitting I could tell that this dude had approached her exactly the way she wanted him to, and she was loving his game.

  “Yo, Danger,” Siddiq growled real low as he grilled the click Bunni was busy entertaining. “Tell that bitch to get back over here. She fuckin’ around on the wrong side of the street.”

  I didn’t say a word as Dane got up and went to get Bunni, but I damn sure wasn’t surprised at what happened next. Static jumped off. You know, the kind you expect when dangerous nigs found a reason to go at each other’s throats. All it took was for Dane to put his hand on Bunni’s shoulder. That green T-shirt nigga straight bit my play-brother. He bounced Dane in the chest and then his entire set swarmed.

  “Oh, shit!” I hollered as Dane went down under a hail of killer blows.

  I got outta that booth way before Big-Man Siddiq did, and I was praying no shots popped off before I could pull Bunni’s ass out from the bottom of the pile.

  But Siddiq was traveling real deep. A football team full of niggas came from e
very corner of the room and converged on green T-shirt’s crew. Niggas was cracking champagne bottles over heads and going in hard.

  “Bunni!” I screamed like she was gonna hear me over a room full of wildin’ beasts. “Bunni!”

  I wanted to dive into the middle of the mob to search for her, but I knew them fools would crush me too. My cute little red dress wouldn’t be nothing but a greasy doo-rag by the time they got finished with me. Besides, we had been around more club fights than a little bit, and Bunni knew the drill. When niggas got to fighting, whether they were swinging, slashing, or shooting, the rule was always the same.

  Stop, drop, and roll.

  Damn right. If you were in range of the whoop-ass, then you stopped whatever it was you were doing, you dropped down to the floor where most dudes weren’t tryna be, and then you rolled your ass away from the fight and outta the kill zone.

  I was jumping up and down on the edge of the crowd and looking for her when I got snatched from behind.

  “Girl, bring ya ass on!” It was Bunni. I whirled around and thanked God my girl was okay.

  “I thought you was caught up in the middle of all that shit!” I hollered as we held on to each other and dipped for the door.

  “Sheeeiittt,” Bunni said. More niggas was rushing into the VIP lounge and blocking our exit. “Bitch I know how to stop, drop, and roll!”

  Since so many dudes was running toward the door on the right, me and Bunni skirted around a long table and tried to get to the exit door from the left side. We were almost there when Stanka and a few of her friends called themselves stepping to us.

  She wilded out on Bunni first. “Look what the fuck you did, stupid-ass! You shouldn’ta took your ass over there in the first place! If you don’t know the rules then stay in ya fuckin’ lane!”

  “Kiss my ass!” Bunni yelled. “You need to check ya self!”

  “Nah.” Stank One pointed toward Bunni’s crotch. “What you need to do is fix that nasty-lookin’ pussy you got! Look like you got a lil dick-swanging going on! Go get you a mini-pad and hide that camel toe, okay?”

  Bunni just laughed in her face. “Bitch, is you crazy? This cookie ain’t for you to crumble. It’s for ya fuckin’ man’s lips only!”

  I don’t know who swung first but them two got to scrapping. Hair was flying everywhere but it wasn’t Bunni’s ’cause it was long and silky. Ol’ girl was swinging haymakers, but Bunni was patient and she clutched her up Harlem-style. She charged in and got Stanka in a headlock, then twisted her scrawny-ass neck and pounded her with a flurry of devastating lefts.

  “Kick that bitch ass!” Stanka’s crew was shouting. “Fuck her ass up!”

  I had never been a fighter but I wasn’t no runner neither. Just let one of those tricks think about getting in it! There would be a whole lotta ass showing tonight because I was damn sure gonna jump in too!

  But a catfight ended up being the last thing we had to worry about, because just when one of Stanka’s friends looked like she wanted to take a swing, gunfire boomed in the VIP lounge and everybody froze. And then niggas scattered everywhere!

  My Harlem instincts kicked in and I dove under the nearest table. But Stanka had already beat me there, and we started scrapping and scrambling tryna get to the best position—in the back!

  “Move, bitch!”

  “You fuckin’ move! I was here first!”

  I had been at plenty of parties before where somebody started shooting outta the blue, and I knew the safest place was behind somebody else. I put my head down and dug my way in behind Stanka. I used my shoulders, my elbows, and my knees, and by the time the bullets stopped popping off I had dug my way to the back and Stanka was curled up in front of me like a human shield.

  The music had stopped and it was city-morgue quiet up in that bitch. I didn’t know where Bunni and Dane was, but all them niggas who had been beefing and fighting was probably deep up under tables too.

  “All right!” a dude’s voice boomed. “Nobody move, and nobody gets fuckin’ blasted! I want everybody’s shit! Everybody’s! My manz are coming around and don’t think they won’t blast ya ass! Take off ya shit! All of it! Ya shine, ya ice, ya cake, I’ma need you to give all that up, ya heard? Get up off that shit right fuckin’ NOW!”

  I peeked over Stanka’s shoulder and I couldn’t believe what I saw. I had only been hit by a club lick one time in my entire life, and that had been in a greasy lil hole up in the South Bronx.

  But there were at least ten dudes down on this lick and they were moving fast. They wore black hoodies and ski masks and carried AK-47s. I knew they had locked shit down out in the main club area too, because after all those shots didn’t nobody come to see about us, and they moved with confidence as they went around the room filling up pillowcases with other people’s loot.

  “A’ight, now! I want every nigga in here to come outta ya kicks and ya pants! Come up outta that shit! All I wanna see is holey socks and dirty drawers! Move, muh’fuckas! Give up that shine, then strip outta ya shit!”

  Still clutching the back of Stanka’s dress, I peeked out and watched as niggas gave up their tools and their jewels, then stepped outta their sneakers and let their pants hit the floor. Two guys pushed up on Big Man Siddiq, who was still sitting in the same spot I had left him in. The shorter dude smashed Siddiq dead in the grill, and a spray of blood splashed on the mirror behind him.

  “Get the fuck up, you thick-neck muh’fucka! What? You think everybody else getting stuck up in this bitch except you?”

  Siddiq rose to his feet. After all that Brooklyn rah-rah shit he had talked his ass looked scared as hell. He took off the ring I had admired, and his Rolex too. He lightened up the load around his neck and then emptied his pockets into the pillowcase and tossed a nice-sized package of cocaine in there as well. He dropped his pants, but he was so big he had to sit back down to get his kicks off. Dude standing over him was getting impatient, and he came down hard on the back of Siddiq’s dome with his AK, and Siddiq pitched over face-first on the floor.

  “What you do that for?” Stanka sounded off in front of me, and I was just about to pinch that ass and tell her to shut the hell up when a pair of black Uggs entered my picture and the armed robber who was wearing them demanded our shit.

  “C’mon now, ladies. Y’all asses ain’t invisible. Come out from under that table and fill up my goody bag.”

  Stanka got up first, and then I uncurled myself and crawled out on my hands and knees. I stood up beside her, and dude checked us out side to side. “Damn! Both of y’all big-titty bitches is fine! Maybe we can hook up in a threesome when I’m done robbing ya asses!”

  We both gave him the stupid face, and he laughed.

  “Take off all that shit, my honeys. The earrings, the bracelets, all that. Give up the cell phones too.”

  Stanka was wearing way more expensive shit than I was, and she came up outta her jewels real reluctantly. I moved real slow too. Hell, I wasn’t even tryna drop my shine in his funky, wrinkled laundry bag. I pretended like I was fumbling with my earrings as I turned my diamond ring around and cupped the stone in my palm, tryna hide it. But Stanka’s ass was checking me out. She had already given up her shit and she knew I was tryna be slick. Her eyes was bouncing all over me, and the way she was smirking and bucking her eyes toward my hand, ol’ boy figured it out too.

  “Yo, lemme get that ring you got on ya finger, shawty,” he said. “Toss it on in the bag. My bitch loves stuff like that.”

  I wanted to beat Stanka’s stank little ass! She musta been down with the lick! She didn’t have to bust on me like that!

  When they were done collecting all our possessions they backed outta the lounge with their gats aimed and ready to spray. Every dude in the room was caught out there in his drawers with no firepower and no cell phones.

  I looked for Bunni and saw her standing next to Dane looking mad as hell. She had been stripped down too. Her dangling earrings and thick gold choker were gone. I turned to say som
ething slick to Stanka, but she was gone. I cursed real loud. I didn’t know where Siddiq got his lil gutta chicks from but I had a feeling Ms. Stanka was definitely down with his competition.

  “You okay?” I rushed over to Dane and touched his cheek. A noogie was rising up under his eye where he had gotten the shit knocked outta him. “Me and Bunni tried to pull them niggas offa you!” I lied hotly. “We jumped on some backs and got us some punches in, for real!”

  Bunni flowed with me. “Damn right! I pounced on that nigga in the green shirt! I drilled him right in the eyeball. I bet his ass is gonna be seeing two of every damn thing for the rest of the night!”

  Dane put his arm around both of us as he walked toward the door in his drawers.

  “Thanks, y’all. But if something like that ever pops off again don’t worry about me, just hit the door. Niggas is crazy out here and they’ll ambush a female in a minute. I can handle mine, and I wouldn’t want neither one of y’all to get hurt over me.”

  “A www,” Bunni said and we both slid our arms around him.

  “I can tell you got good hands, but that was too many niggas for any one dude to be handling! Besides, ain’t no way I could run away and leave you in no fight, Dane,” I said, like I was insulted he would even think such a thing. “I’m a ride or die, big brother. Especially for my fam!”

  He was straight up touched.

  “You’re a real cool sister, Mink,” he said, and kissed the top of my head. “It’s gonna be good having somebody like you in the family.”

  Got him! I thought as I cut my slick eyes at Bunni.

  She shot me a hell yeah grin, and then that crazy fool reached behind Dane’s back and grabbed the underside of my arm and pinched the shit outta me.

  CHAPTER 27

  We got up and went to church on Sunday morning. Bunni didn’t wanna go and neither did I, but Selah made it clear that every damn body under her roof would be riding out to the house of the Lord.

  I looked all through my gear until I found something decent to wear. I didn’t know if Bunni had ever been inside a church in her life, but something told me she didn’t get those skin-tight Donna Karan riding pants off no rack of Holy Ghost clothes.

 

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