Every Time We Say Goodbye

by Colette Caddle

  ‘Yes, let me introduce you,’ he said with forced cheeriness, and with a brief knock on the door, led her into the room. Marianne was sitting at his desk, reading through the course notes on Facebook. ‘Hi, Marianne, how are you getting on?’

  She looked up and smiled politely. ‘Okay, thanks.’

  ‘Sorry I’ve kept you waiting . . .’

  ‘No problem.’

  ‘This is Vanessa; Vanessa this is Marianne Thomson, my landlady.’

  Marianne stood up and stretched out her hand to shake Vanessa’s. ‘Pleased to meet you.’

  ‘And you.’

  Vanessa smiled but Rob could see her sizing up Marianne. His mobile rang and he looked at the display and could have screamed. It was the planning officer that he’d been chasing for days; he couldn’t afford not to take the call. ‘Sorry, excuse me for a minute.’ With a huge sense of foreboding, he stepped outside, dreading the thought of what might be said in his absence.

  Vanessa perched on the arm of a chair. ‘It must seem odd to have left your home and now be working in it.’

  ‘Yes, a little,’ Marianne agreed, feeling sick with jealousy at the sight of the girl’s pretty face, voluptuous figure and gorgeous legs.

  ‘I’m delighted that Rob has finally found a replacement for Shay; it will allow us to spend more time together.’

  ‘That’s nice,’ Marianne croaked.

  ‘You have a fabulous home.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘I want to reassure you that we will take care of it.’ Vanessa gave a conspiratorial smile. ‘Rob’s reasonably well house-trained.’

  Marianne struggled to return the smile. ‘Good to know.’

  ‘It’s great for us to be so near the site; I am really excited at the thought of watching our home being built brick by brick.’

  ‘I’m sure that will be a wonderful experience,’ Marianne said, tempted to punch her smug face.

  ‘Rob wanted to get married this year but I said it was madness. Just imagine trying to plan a wedding as well. Much better to concentrate on getting the house of our dreams built first.’

  ‘Makes sense,’ Marianne agreed, feeling positively sick.

  Rob returned to the room. ‘Sorry about that.’

  ‘No problem, I should go anyway and let you two get back to work.’ Vanessa kissed him and smiled into his eyes. ‘See you later, darling.’

  When Rob came back into the office and sat on the edge of the desk next to her, Marianne immediately moved her chair as far away as possible.

  ‘That was terrible timing, although I suppose it could have been worse,’ he grinned.

  ‘Oh, I think it was perfect timing,’ she said.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘We were about to do something and for all the wrong reasons.’

  ‘Wrong reasons?’

  ‘It’s natural, I suppose, that we should remember our past with fondness and it would be easy to slip back into an affair but it would be very wrong and make it impossible for us to work together.’

  He stared at her. ‘So, did I imagine that kiss, the way you looked at me, the way you said “oh, Rob” just like you used to?’

  Marianne shrugged and managed to produce what she hoped was a nonchalant smile. ‘No, but, hey, I’m only human. Seriously, though, Rob, it’s not possible to turn back the clock and I don’t honestly think I’d want to.’ She got some pleasure from the stunned look on his face. How could he have strung her along like this?

  ‘I hope you’re not saying this because of Vanessa. She is my girlfriend but only because I’ve been too cowardly to finish it. She’s a lovely girl—’

  ‘Yes, she is and you would be mad to give her up, especially for me.’

  He reached out and gently pulled Marianne’s chair closer until her face was only inches from his. ‘It’s over with Vanessa regardless of what you decide, Marianne.’

  She steeled herself to hold his gaze and tried desperately not to inhale the scent of him. ‘I think that’s a shame.’

  ‘I don’t believe you. I think you would find it hard to see me with another woman.’

  ‘Probably,’ she admitted, realizing it was pointless to lie. ‘But I’d get over it. Things have changed, Rob. I’m a different person now. I have two children to look after; two children who are grieving for their dad and completely dependent on me. They are all that’s important to me now.’

  ‘You don’t have to do it alone, Marianne.’ He threaded his fingers through hers and stared at their hands entwined before looking back up into her eyes. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’

  Marianne felt herself weaken and then she remembered the lovely Vanessa. ‘It’s too late, Rob.’ He was building a home with the girl, he’d proposed to her; how could he dismiss her so easily and why, in all their chats, had he never even mentioned her? She tried to pull away from him but he wouldn’t release her hand.

  ‘You came here today knowing that we would end up in bed together, and that’s where we’d be right now if it hadn’t been for the interruption.’

  ‘How can you call your girlfriend an interruption?’ she said, disgusted with him.

  ‘Stop reading things into my words,’ he protested. ‘You know I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t understand why you’re being like this. You’re saying we shouldn’t be together because of my soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend, yet you were happy to have an affair when you were a married woman.’

  ‘It’s not the same at all and if you can’t see that then you’re blind.’ She pulled her hand free and got up to leave.

  ‘Marianne?’

  She paused and turned slightly, but she couldn’t look into his eyes, afraid her resolve would weaken.

  ‘Fine.’ He sighed. ‘If it’s what you really want, I’ll be your tenant, you can be my employee and we’ll leave it at that.’

  ‘That’s what I want.’ It was completely irrational but she felt gutted that he was ready to give up on her so easily.

  ‘Then that’s the way it will be.’ He led the way out to the front door and held it open for her. ‘See you here at nine o’clock on Monday morning.’

  ‘I’ll be here. Bye, Rob.’

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Jo was about to leave the community centre after the Unislim class when Shirley beckoned her over.

  ‘I’ll be out in a minute,’ Jo told Dot and Helen and crossed to the instructor.

  ‘I won’t keep you, Joanna, I was just wondering how you got on this week? You sounded very down when you phoned me.’

  ‘I was, and there were a few times when I weakened and ate more than I should and went into the bathroom fully intending to . . . well, you know.’ Jo had baulked when Marianne suggested she should come clean and tell the fitness instructor everything, but it had been the best thing she could have done. Now whenever she felt weak or panicky, Shirley was just a phone call or a text away. She’d only contacted her twice but the woman’s soothing voice and common sense were enough to give her the strength to go on.

  ‘But you didn’t.’ Shirley smiled.

  ‘No, whenever I walk into that bathroom I think of my daughter and that’s enough to stop me.’

  ‘How is Di?’

  ‘She seems fantastic and since we’ve started seeing more of Dot’s grandchildren she’s blossomed.’

  ‘Do you think she’s eating properly?’

  ‘She is, and she’s determined to make us all eat healthier and get fitter too. I get interrogated every day: have I done my exercises? What have I eaten? And she is always dragging me out for walks and now she is even pestering her father to give up salt.’

  Shirley laughed. ‘Good for her. Are you finding it hard to keep to the exercise programme?’

  ‘I must admit, it is a little boring,’ Jo said, ‘but I enjoy the walks.’

  ‘Good. Make sure they’re brisk ones. What about swimming?’

  ‘Doing lengths is so dull,’ Jo complained.

  ‘Forget lengths,’ Shirley told
her. ‘Take the children with you and perhaps a beach ball and simply have fun; that way you’re all getting exercise and the kids will love it.’

  Jo knew she was right. If she told Rachel that they were going swimming together, she’d be over the moon; she could even take along Kate and Andrew and make it a proper outing. ‘That’s a great idea, Shirley. I’ll definitely do that.’

  ‘Good. I’ll see you next week and remember, any problems just call me.’

  ‘Thanks a million.’

  ‘Swimming?’ Marianne said when she’d doled out sparkling water to Dot and Jo. Yet again Helen had only popped her head in for a minute and then had to rush off; she seemed to be very busy these days. ‘I think that’s a great idea; Andrew and Kate would love it.’

  ‘So where will we take them?’

  ‘You could go to the National Aquatic centre in Blanchardstown; it’s supposed to be a wonderful place for the kiddies,’ Dot said.

  ‘Will you come?’ Jo asked.

  ‘I will not! Getting into a bath is the nearest I ever get to swimming.’

  ‘We can arrange other outings,’ Jo said. ‘It doesn’t have to be just swimming.’

  ‘That would be great but we can’t go too mad,’ Marianne cautioned. ‘We’re far from rich.’

  ‘There are plenty of things to do in Dublin that cost little or nothing if you use your imagination,’ Dot assured her. ‘If the weather is good you can go to the beach or the Botanic Gardens or take a picnic up to Newbridge or Ardgillan House – the playgrounds there are wonderful and the grounds are perfect for a nice walk.’

  ‘We could even take a barbecue,’ Jo said. ‘Every time the sun comes out, one of my neighbours meets up with all the aunties, uncles and cousins and they spend the day together.’

  ‘And during the summer we could go to the festivals in the city centre,’ Dot said.

  ‘What festivals?’ Marianne asked her.

  ‘There are lots. In June there’s one with street performers. I went with Bridie last year; it was great fun and the children would love it.’

  ‘And we can take them on the train to Greystones or up to Donabate,’ Jo said, warming to the idea.

  ‘We could go lots of places on the train,’ Dot said, ‘it’s not that expensive.’

  ‘And when the weather is bad I suppose there are always the museums,’ Marianne mused.

  ‘And the morning movies in the cinemas are quite cheap so we could go mad and do that from time to time,’ Jo said.

  ‘It all sounds great,’ Marianne said. ‘We must ask Helen to come along.’

  Dot’s eyes lit up. ‘Do you know what? If we all got together we could take a house somewhere in the summer months for a week or two and it wouldn’t cost much at all.’

  ‘Oh, that’s a great idea,’ Jo said. ‘Greg was only just saying that he’ll probably be too busy to take time off for a holiday.’

  ‘He could join us at weekends,’ Marianne said. ‘Wow, it looks like we’re in for a full summer!’

  ‘I would love us to spend more time together,’ Jo said. She just knew that it would be easier sticking to her new regime with her friends around her. ‘I don’t know why we haven’t, to be honest.’

  ‘It will be a challenge to arrange holidays with us both working,’ Marianne said to Dot.

  ‘True but if we book a place near a train station we could commute if and when we needed to. Do you know what sort of hours you’ll be working yet?’

  ‘At first I’ll be only working in the evenings. Rob is still putting together the summer schedule but I should know the dates in a week or so and he says if there’s a problem he can usually step in once I give him some notice.’

  ‘That’s decent of him. What’s he like?’ Jo asked. She felt a little jealous of Marianne becoming part of the workforce.

  ‘He’s very nice, easy to get along with and tidy thankfully, so the house should be in safe hands.’

  Jo rolled her eyes. ‘But what does he look like?’

  ‘She is rubbish on the detail, isn’t she?’ Dot agreed, eyes twinkling.

  Marianne laughed. ‘He’s around my age, probably a little taller than Greg, quite athletic and he has brown hair and eyes.’

  ‘He sounds like perfect toy-boy material,’ Dot winked at Jo.

  ‘Hard luck, Dot – he’s getting married next year and I met his fiancée. She’s gorgeous.’

  ‘Ah, but he hasn’t met me yet,’ her mother-in-law pointed out. ‘Younger men like me.’ Dot settled back in her chair and gave a wistful sigh. ‘I’ll always remember the Pope’s visit in 1979 . . . I met the most gorgeous man.’

  Marianne frowned. ‘Eh, weren’t you were a married woman in 1979?’

  ‘So? Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu, does it?’

  Jo laughed. ‘True enough. So, what happened?’

  ‘A few neighbours got together and arranged a minibus to take us into Phoenix Park for the Mass. There were so many people going that we had to get up at the crack of dawn to get to our places in time. Well, the driver was a fine specimen altogether. And as I was climbing up into the bus he was eyeing up my legs. Excuse me,’ she added when she saw Marianne’s look of disbelief, ‘I was only thirty-one and I had great legs!’

  ‘You still do,’ Jo assured her.

  ‘Thank you, pet. Well, anyway, he stuck with us for the day and I shared our picnic with him. I’ll always remember him saying he’d never tasted scones as nice as mine.’

  ‘Sounds like it was more than your scones he was after,’ Marianne laughed.

  ‘I’m telling you! He spent the day making eyes at me and flirting. Bill never even noticed. And then it was time for the Pope to go around between the corrals to give us his blessing. Well, naturally, we were all pushing closer to the barrier to get a better look at the Holy Father and the next thing I know, this fella is behind me and pressing right into me.’

  ‘Oh my God. What did you do?’ Jo asked.

  Dot smiled. ‘Well, just for a few minutes, I settled back and enjoyed it.’

  ‘Dot!’ Marianne looked at her mother-in-law in astonishment.

  ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, it was just a bit of innocent fun,’ Dot protested.

  ‘So . . . what happened?’ Jo asked.

  ‘Well . . .’

  ‘Yes?’ Marianne prompted.

  ‘When he helped me back into the minibus he squeezed my hand and I squeezed his back. There, I’ve admitted it. Now I’m going to hell,’ Dot grinned.

  ‘I think you’re safe,’ Jo laughed. ‘I love that story. It’s nice to be made to feel attractive from time to time.’

  ‘That sounds like the voice of experience,’ Marianne teased her friend. ‘Have you any stories you want to share?’

  ‘Unfortunately not. I don’t think any man has ever flirted with me.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sure they have; you probably just didn’t notice,’ Dot told her with a kind smile.

  ‘Perhaps.’ Jo said, but she knew it wasn’t true. Greg was the only man who’d ever shown any interest in her and she had a feeling lately that he probably regretted it. ‘So,’ she said brightly, ‘where will we go for our first outing?’

  Helen sat in the sitting room staring blankly at the TV, her mind upstairs with her husband. After all the strange behaviour and unexplained absences there had been yet another development. She had hurried home from Unislim, reheated the curry she’d made earlier and opened a bottle of wine. While the food warmed she took a shower and then put on the silk pyjamas that Johnny loved so much; he was a very tactile sort of man. With Colm out studying with his friend, she planned to drag Johnny straight up to bed once they’d eaten and after they made love she would ask him outright what was going on.

  But when Johnny arrived home he hadn’t commented on her appearance. In fact, he hadn’t even seemed to notice. He ate sparingly, refused a drink and then had indeed gone straight to bed but pleading a headache. She wasn’t sure whether to feel worried, a
ngry or rejected but there was most definitely something wrong, and she was sure it had something to do with Marianne Thomson.

  Chapter Thirty

  Dot pulled up outside the school in Howth to collect the children. She was just getting out of the car when her mobile phone rang. She looked at the display but didn’t recognize the number. ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hello, Mrs Thomson?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘This is Rob Lee. I hope I haven’t got you at a bad time.’

  ‘Oh, hello! No, not at all, it’s fine. Nice to talk to you at last.’

  ‘And you,’ he said. ‘I have a problem, I’m afraid. I tried to get hold of Marianne and Johnny Sheridan but both of their phones are switched off and so I’m bothering you.’

  ‘Don’t worry about it; how can I help?’

  ‘Well, the thing is – I’m outside the house and I’ve locked the car keys and the house keys in the car so I’m a bit stuck. I was hoping you might have a spare set.’

  ‘I do, of course, right here on my key ring.’ Dot looked at it and smiled as she talked to him. ‘I’ll drop them in to you as soon as I’ve collected the children from school.’

  ‘Oh, no, please don’t go to any trouble. I’ll get a taxi to Kilbarrack.’

  ‘No need, love. I’m just down the road.’

  ‘Well, that is good news, thank you so much.’

  ‘I’ll be with you in ten to fifteen minutes at the most.’

  When Dot told the children there was an errand of mercy to run, their interest was immediately piqued.

  ‘How did he lock himself out of the house and his car, Granny?’ Kate asked, her expression clearly showing that she thought he must be an eejit.

  ‘No idea, luvvie. You can ask him that yourself.’

  Minutes later she pulled up outside the house to see a handsome young man sitting on the garden wall, a sheepish smile on his face. He immediately hopped down and came to meet her.

  ‘Hello, Mrs Thomson. I’m so sorry for dragging you up here.’

  ‘You didn’t drag me anywhere; didn’t I tell you I was just down the road? And, please, call me Dot.’