Darkness of Light

by Gina Kincade

  Excerpt from Return to the Light

  REV OPENED GRANDMA’S bedroom door, intending to wake her before she left for the store. Tiptoeing, she leaned over and squeezed her shoulder.

  “Grandma, I’m off.”

  “Hmm? Oh, sure. Call me in an hour, okay? Didn’t sleep well.”

  Reverie straightened. “Of course.” Bumping the nightstand, she shook a glass with a few sips of water left in it and all of the pill bottles. One toppled and rolled, Rev catching it just as it went over the edge.

  Grandma’s pain pills.

  Looking at her sleeping form, Rev checked to make sure she had gone back to sleep. Then she popped the top with a quiet click and poured out a few. After capping it again, she hurried out on soft feet.

  In the kitchen, she opened her hand and counted the round white tablets. Each one had TEC stamped on them, identifying them as what Rev recognized as Percocet.

  The headache and chills of withdrawal were easing, but the buzzing was endless. Jiao’s tea could muffle it, allowing her to function normally, but it never went away. What would it be like to escape it entirely for a few hours?

  Filling a glass at the sink, she singled one pill out. Hopefully it wouldn’t knock her on her ass, but would give her system what it craved.

  She fled the house for the shop, trotting most of the way while looking over her shoulder. Did anyone notice her acting differently?

  They noticed her, for certain, and their gazes were not friendly. For the first time, she dreaded opening the store. What would they say when they came in? What could she say or do to make things better?

  Once inside, she flipped the sign and it seemed to move with a trail, as though her eyes were blurry. Leaning her head on the cool glass, she smiled. No chatter in her head, no aches, no chills, she was normal.

  Turning and taking a step, she stumbled. Not quite normal. All of her responses were slowed, like it took longer for her instructions to reach her foot or hand. The drugs made her sleepy, too, and when it was quiet all morning, her eyes drifted shut.

  The chimes woke her with a start and she wiped drool from her cheek. Gross.

  “Hey, Rev, I just wanted to...” Mai trailed off. “Are you okay?”

  Reverie moaned and put a hand to her forehead. The buzzing was still gone but the world spun around her. “No. I will be, though.”

  “You’re still coming out of it, aren’t you? I know Mom took a tea over to help with that. Is there anything I can do?” She spun the bracelet on her wrist and Rev’s hand went to the deer charm around her neck.

  “Which Dragon are you?” she wondered aloud.

  “The green one. Mom is red and Dad is pale, silvery. You ran over the line. I wish we’d told you not to go there.”

  Rev glared at Mai. “Me too. I wish you’d all told me you’re also animals. I might not have freaked out.”

  Mai nodded. “Yeah, someone should have. I figured it would be Lucius or Kerwin.”

  “I guess Lucius did in the end. He’s the one who took me out for the Midsummer festival.” Rev leaned her elbows on the counter and hung her head in her hands. “I know I fucked up, but I didn’t know better. I didn’t ask anyone to come rescue me.”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty pissed at Ben right now.”

  Reverie looked up, surprised. “At Ben? Everyone is mad at me.”

  Mai scoffed. “Only because they’re thinking with their hearts. They love and trust Ben, but if he had half a brain, he would have called or driven over to get you. Charging in with everyone is what cooked his goose.” She tossed her black hair over her shoulder. “Honestly, if he couldn’t figure that out, why does the town follow him?”

  “I wouldn’t know.”

  “Exactly. Don’t take guff from these guys. You were running scared because of them. They all had a part in it, including your rescue. They only have themselves to blame.”

  Rev sighed and put her hands down. The fatigue was lifting and when she looked at the clocks hung on the wall, she realized she’d been asleep for over an hour. “Damn, I was supposed to give Grandma a wakeup call fifteen minutes ago. Hold on for a bit?”

  “Sure. I came to chat, but I’ll window shop.” Mai turned toward the scarves and their display.

  Rev dialed Grandma’s number and made the call. It rang twice before she answered. “Reverie?”

  “Yeah, Grandma, it’s me. You wanted me to call and wake you. How are you feeling?”

  She could hear the yawn through the line that accompanied Grandma’s answer. “Like I need another hour of sleep.” She sighed. “But I need to get up and do my stretching and exercises.”

  “Take your time and let me know if you need me to help with those when I get home.”

  “I will. You get back to work now.”

  “Sure thing, Grandma.”

  Mai returned to the counter as Rev put away her phone. “How is she doing?”

  “Stiff and aching, but really well all told. She can take a few steps without her walker or me. In no time she’ll be back here busting my butt. What the two of us are going to do in here all day, I don’t know, but she’ll find something.”

  “There’s always something to clean,” Mai grumbled. “Speaking of which, I should get back to the kitchen. I’m only around for another month and Mom has a huge list of chores for me before I go.”

  “Where are you going?” Can I come? Rev added silently.

  “Princeton. I’m going into Biochemistry.”

  Reverie had forgotten Lucius telling her how smart Mai was. Meanwhile, Rev didn’t even know if she wanted to go to college. She closed up a bit, feeling inferior. “That’s cool.”

  “Yeah, maybe I can figure out what makes us different from everyone else.” Mai smiled and tossed her dark locks over her shoulder with a flick of her head. “Probably not, but who knows. I’ll see you later. If you need someone to talk to, or a place to hide from the haters, you’re welcome at the Golden Palace.”

  “I’ll remember that. Thank you, Mai.”

  As the day rolled on, Reverie could feel the drugs wearing off. The aches and chills didn’t come back but the buzzing in her head resumed with a vengeance. What had she done to deserve this? How much could she stand?

  When she pulled out another pill, the door opened again with a tinkle of the chimes and she shoved her hand into her pocket, hiding the pain medication from view. Lucius sauntered into the store with the sun streaming in behind him and a grin plastered over his features.

  “Hey, Reverie. How are you?”

  She shook her head. “Not good. Definitely been better.”

  “Yeah? Is it...did they...” He floundered and she saved him scrounging for the right answer.

  “It’s withdrawal. It sucks the big one. I can feel it here.” She rubbed the back of her head. “And it never goes away.”

  “I might know a way to escape.”

  She cocked her head in surprise. “You do?”

  “Yeah, let’s go for a run after you close up. I know Kerwin can’t keep up with you as a badger, and you can probably outrun me, too, but I’ll be right behind you.”

  Rev toyed with her pendent. “I don’t know. Last time that didn’t get me away from the pain so much as give me an outlet for frustration.”

  “That’s okay. It’s all the same.”

  “Yeah, okay. I’ll think about it.”

  The chimes tinkled again and Rev looked around Lucius to the woman who had just entered. It wasn’t anyone she recognized. “Can I help you find something?”

  “Yes, you can find me a gift for Ben. He is in a lot of pain right now.”

  Lucius sucked in a deep breath and opened his mouth to answer, but Rev held up a hand to stop him. “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m not doing very well either. Something we have in common. Would you like something big or small.”

  “I want something that won’t remind him of a bear.”

  That did it for Lucius. “Mrs. Mercer, why don’t you go over to the bakery and
buy him some tarts. You don’t want anything here. You just want to make Reverie feel bad.”

  The woman glared at Lucius, moving her hands to perch on her hips. “You’re right, I do. She’s hurt everyone in this town, why shouldn’t she hurt, too?”

  “I do,” she whispered.

  “Because it’s not all her fault. She’d never shifted before and she was scared. You’re blaming her is no different from me blaming Jimmy for stealing my toy truck.”

  “He didn’t steal it, just misplaced it.”

  “And Rev didn’t run into enemy lands, she just ran.”

  Mrs. Mercer narrowed her eyes. “Well, you keep telling yourself that. How could you let your grandfather do this, and why didn’t you take his place?”

  “I never had the chance.” Lucius’ gaze fell and Reverie could see the regret and guilt he was dealing with.

  “Mrs. Mercer, if you’re only here to make trouble, please go.” Grandma would be pissed when she found out Rev had chased off a customer, but she couldn’t see this spiteful woman as a customer any longer. She was just a bitch with an attitude. Without the Percocet cushion, Rev had no patience for it.

  “You can’t tell me what to do. I’m well within my rights—”

  Rev took the woman by the upper arm and marched her to the door. “I have the right to decline service. You are not welcome here today, Mrs. Mercer. Good day.” She slammed the door on the woman and turned both the deadlock and the open sign. “Crazy town with crazy people,” she muttered. “Can’t keep themselves civil. Blaming me for not knowing.” She stomped back to the counter and looked up to see Lucius smirking.

  “You can go next,” she threatened.

  He held up his hands. “You’re the boss here.”

  “Ugh!” She dropped her head to the counter. “Why can’t I be normal again?”

  Lucius’ fingers scraped over her scalp as he threaded the digits through her hair and cupped the back of her head. “I’m sorry, Rev. You’re kinda stuck with us now.”

  She threw her head back, pulling herself from his gentle grip. “You wanted to run, right? Let’s go.” She turned and walked into the back room toward the back door. Lucius followed.

  “Are you sure? Now?”

  “Yeah. I’m not opening that door again today. They can all wait until Grandma is back.”

  Rev opened the back door to reveal Kerwin leaning up against the brick just outside the door. Rev shoved her hand on her hip and smirked. “You want to go running, too?”

  He quirked an eyebrow and looked past her to his cousin.

  “Well, come on then.” She pushed past him and headed straight for the trees on the edge of town. Shielded by a group of bushes, she stripped off her shirt and shorts. The Percocet fell out and rolled along the brown leaves and twigs on the ground. Bending, she picked it up, curling her fingers around the tablet. Flicking out her tongue to moisten her lips, she tucked it back into the pocket of her shorts. She would give the doe a chance.

  Thinking of the animal was enough to lengthen her spine, arms into legs, and sprout fur over her body. She stepped gracefully out to where she had left Lucius and Kerwin. They circled each other, nipping and scrabbling. Rev remembered a dream she’d had, one where they’d been fighting and both were bloody. Her tail flipped up in fear or embarrassment when she remembered the rest of that dream, two naked men.

  This wasn’t like the dream. No blood dotted their fur and as soon as one clamped his teeth closed over the pelt of his cousin, he let go again. They were playing. Sadly, the doe was far too large to join their game. She stomped instead, raking her feet through the litter on the forest floor. They turned toward her and as soon as she had their attention, she shot off into the trees fully expecting them to give chase.

  Lucius was onto something. Her withdrawal headache had all but disappeared. Something in the fresh air, the wildflowers, the heat radiating up from the sun-kissed grass. She lowered her head to breathe more deeply. The boys bounded through the meadow ahead of her. They both stopped and turned back to face Rev. Kerwin shifted to stand in the grass that barely reached his hips.

  “Something wrong?”

  She shook her head and then lowered her muzzle to nibble at some of the flowers. Crushing them made the smell stronger and she sucked the aroma deep into her lungs, savoring the relief, the calming feeling, the action presented.

  Kerwin dropped to all fours, shifting into the badger again, and she could hear him and Lucius scrabbling in the tall blades of grass. The grass was more than tall enough to hide them from view. Only the rustling and swaying blades told her where they were.

  The sudden hissing sound of a snake broke her moment of reprieve. The doe started, fleeing off through the grasses, and she found herself several feet away before she regained control. Creeping back to her previous position, she nosed the ground until she discovered the offending reptile. It was just a green garter snake but it had scared her doe nonetheless. Although the doe desperately wanted to run again, Reverie kept it in check. Her doe pawed at the ground inches from the small, greenish brown snake as it slithered under a thatch of deeper grass. Rev bent her long neck, nosing the bundle of twigs and grass out of the way, curiosity making her doe chase the hidden demon and when the creature lashed out to bite her, she screamed and barreled off.

  She had never heard a deer scream before and hopefully she would never make that sound again. It was a horrible screech that sounded like an animal dying, not just scared.

  Once she’d cleared the meadow, and passed several trees, she was able to stop and catch her breath. Her heart was still racing, the thumping beneath her breast making her chest hurt. Why would the snake bite her?

  Trotting back to her clothes, she thought she knew what could make a snake attack a deer. It wasn’t a regular snake any more than she was a regular doe. Yanking her shirt back on, she stepped out to catch both Lucius and Kerwin stepping into their pants. She turned away quickly, heat flooding her cheeks. “Oh, sorry!”

  Kerwin dressed fastest. “Hey, are you okay? He can’t hurt you; he’s not poisonous.” His warm hand on her shoulder was a small comfort.

  “I don’t know. I think the punctures on my calf prove otherwise.” Looking over her shoulder, she lifted her leg. It wasn’t bleeding, thankfully, but the skin around the two small holes was red and angry looking.

  Lucius took hold of her foot. “You better get that disinfected. Our place is close.” He let go just before she lost balance.

  “Yeah, that sounds good. Who was it?”

  Kerwin shrugged. “Does it matter?”

  “Uh, yeah, kinda. I need to learn who and what everyone around here is so I’m not walking up to an animal that actually wants to take a chunk out of me.” She crossed her arms and followed Lucius, trying not to limp. The sound of angry bees was back and with it, her temper. The view of Lucius’ pert butt helped a little. Only a little.

  Reverie stopped outside the door when Lucius opened it. Inside she could hear Kristin. “She’s the worst thing to happen to Littleton and you know it. First she pits Kerwin and Lucius against one another and now this! I swear, if she tries—”

  Lucius called ahead. “Yes, Come in Reverie. Of course I’ll look after that bite.”

  Kerwin nudged Rev through the entryway and she caught herself against the way before she stumbled. Rev couldn’t see Lucius’ expression, but Kristin’s angry look was clear and would kill if it could.

  “I don’t want that...prey in my house.”

  Prey? That was pretty mild as insults went.

  “That’s enough, Kristin.” The booming base voice could only belong to one person. “Reverie. How are you feeling?” Ben rose from the chair he filled to tower over all of them.

  Rev swallowed. “Better. I have a bite, though.” She kicked her leg up again and felt silly doing so.

  Ben’s eyes narrowed. “That’s an odd bite. Insect?”

  “Snake,” Kerwin said. By his tone, he was as unimpressed as Ben by t
he situation.

  “Really. A green garter?”

  Rev nodded.

  “I will deal with this.” He moved toward the door, but Rev blocked his path.

  “Wait. I need to know, why did you do that for me?”

  His smile was small and sad. “That isn’t an easy question to answer.”

  She nodded. “Then, please, sit back down and take your time.”

  He chuckled low in his throat. “Very well. Lucius, you’ll treat that.”

  “On it.” His voice was muffled as it came from another room. He returned with a spray can, a tube of cream, and band-aids.

  “You should sit, too,” Ben insisted.

  Kristin continued to glare.

  “If you won’t be civil, you can leave.” Kerwin’s folded his arms over his chest, making it seem broader as he faced down his sister.

  “She had better be gone when I get back.” Tossing her black hair over her shoulder, Kristin stormed out.

  “This is gonna sting,” Lucius warned before spraying the bite with antiseptic.

  She winced, but the sting was nothing compared to her growing headache. Rubbing her temple with her fingertips, she turned to Ben. “Please. Tell me.”

  He frowned. “Are you okay? Your head?” He pointed to his own.

  “Lovely parting gift after a stay with your enemies. I’ll be fine. But what made you come for me the way you did?”

  While she waited for Ben’s answer, Lucius tended her leg, dabbing it with anti-bacterial ointment and securing band-aids over each bite mark. Kerwin moved to a corner and sat on the floor, watching his grandfather closely. He seemed as curious about the answer as she was.

  “You... When you arrived in Littleton, these boys were both affected.”

  “Affected?”

  Both cousins cleared their throats and looked away.

  “Yes. Similar to how a nail is affected by a magnet.”

  Reverie clenched her jaw and fought the urge to scream. “Why?”

  “No one really knows. It doesn’t happen often, not since I met Lily, but every now and then one of us forges a deep bond instantly. Do you believe in love at first sight?”