Attraction Series Boxed Set: Books 1-3

by J B Heller

  The girl slammed her mouth shut and nodded like a bobble head on crack before murmuring, “Sure.”

  Ashlynn returned her focus to me as she made her way around the desk she was seated behind. I held out my arm for her and she took it. “Do you bring packed lunches to all your friends?” she asked with a sly grin, as I handed her a sandwich from the bag.

  I shrugged, “Sometimes.”

  She looked at me doubtfully, but didn’t push the point. I was glad, because I didn’t have it in me to pretend like this was just a blossoming friendship between two people if she had pushed it.

  I sat back and took a big bite out of my sandwich and groaned, “Mario’s makes the best sandwiches.” I mumbled through my mouthful.

  “Ugh, don’t talk with food in your mouth.” She chastised.

  “Sorry, Mum.” I mocked.

  And just like that, we relaxed into comfortable silence until we finished our food.

  Throwing the packaging into the bag it had all come in, I turned around to face her fully, bringing one of my legs up to rest on the seat between us. “Why can’t you have kids, Ash?”

  Emerald orbs met mine and seared my very soul with their pain. “What?”

  Sighing I reached for her and pulled her closer to me, but not into my lap. I just needed to be able to touch her for this conversation. “Why can’t you have kids? I’m just trying to understand better.”

  With our hands locked together she stared off into the distance, but clearly seeing nothing. I watched her closely as she slowly swallowed then licked her lips. “I thought I was pregnant once, I was so happy. I jumped the gun though, I hadn’t done a pregnancy test, but I’d assumed that since I was more than a week late that it had to mean I was pregnant. I’d never been late before.”

  She sighed deeply, her pain was a living breathing thing between us. “When my period arrived my boyfriend was furious. He thought I’d—” she choked on a sob, and I pulled her into my arms.

  “He thought— he thought I’d had an— abortion.”

  My stomach felt as though it was filled with lead. She shook in my arms as sobs wracked through her body. I held her tighter, I didn’t know where she was going with this, but I had a bad feeling.

  A few minutes passed as she let out her pent up emotions and slowly calmed down. When her sobbing stopped she pulled herself upright, so she was no longer cuddled into my chest, but sitting up beside me, still in my arms.

  She took a deep breath, then continued, “He didn’t have a good family life, and when he thought I was pregnant he got really excited that we were going to have a family of our own. He accused me of killing his baby and he beat me. He made sure I would never be able to carry another man’s child again.”

  Silent tears now streamed down her cheeks. She made no move to swipe them away or hide them from me.

  Fury began to build within me. Thick and menacing, it filled my veins and I wanted blood. His blood.

  My body had gone rigid, my fists clenched, my jaw tight.

  I couldn’t hide my reaction from her any more than she could hide her pain from me.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  My eyes had glazed over as I allowed the hate for this unknown man to fill my system. Then I turned to face her, she was pale and spent. I had to know, “What happened to him? Where is he now?”

  Deflated and devoid of emotion now, she sighed, “Jail. Or, at least, he was.”

  I sat bolt upright, “What do you mean he was?”

  Her emerald eyes turned to me, flat and lifeless, “It was over five years ago now. He’s probably out, or will be soon.” She said with a shrug.

  A fucking shrug. I slid my arm out from around her as gently as possible, I couldn’t just sit here anymore. I stood and started pacing. My blood roared in my ears, I latched onto fists full of my hair and pulled. This was so much more fucked up than I could have imagined.

  Images of Ashlynn, beaten and bloody, flashed in my mind. I lurched forward, bending over the garden bed and losing my lunch. I crouched, taking deep breaths in an attempt to pull myself together enough to be present for Ashlynn. She needed me right now, and I was losing my shit.

  Glancing over my shoulder I saw that she hadn’t moved. Her eyes were unfocused, her face blank. I had done that to her by bringing all this up. I had to fix it. But first, I had to know one more thing.

  I walked back to her and crouched in front of her, placed my palms on her thighs, and spoke gently. “Ash, baby, I’ll only ask you one more question about this. Then I’ll never bring it up again, I swear. What’s his name?”

  She gazed down at me, blinking slowly as she came back to me, to the present. “Zane Thomson.” She whispered.

  I gave her thighs a gentle squeeze, “Thank you baby, for telling me. I’m sorry I put you through all this. I won’t ask about it again.” I cupped her cheek with one hand and brought her face down to mine, resting my forehead against hers.

  Breathing in her scent calmed me. “I’m so, so fucking sorry, baby.”

  Ash sniffled, and lifted her hand to cup my cheek in return. “I know.” She breathed against my lips.

  I had to close my eyes to stop myself from closing the small distance between us and sealing my lips to hers. “You want me to take you home?” I asked gently.

  Sighing, she pulled away from me, and sat up. I joined her on the bench seat and waited…

  “No, I’ll be okay. I can finish the day. I’ll just fill out paperwork in the break room for the rest of the day. I can’t keep letting him control my life. I’m moving on, moving forward, and I can’t fall apart just because I told you about it.

  I mean, yeah it’s hard to talk about. And I don’t tell anyone that story, but, I don’t know, I felt like I could tell you.”

  “You can tell me anything, Ashlynn, anything at all.” I confirmed.

  She smiled softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I know.”

  After Ash went back to work I headed back to the office to do some background checks on the dickwad who messed with my girl. If he was out already I would be paying him a visit.

  The minute I walked in Gabe raised a brow in my direction. “You get what you needed from your girl?”

  I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes tight. It was too fucking much. I collapsed into my chair, my hands curled around the arm rests to stop myself from losing my shit on the walls again.

  Kai entered a moment later, Bray and Dex trailing behind him. They stopped dead in their tracks when they noticed my posture. “Didn’t go well?” Kai asked.

  Shaking my head slowly I opened my eyes and looked him in the eye, “No, it didn’t go fucking well.”

  “What’s goin’ on?” Bray asked.

  It was Gabe who answered, “His woman told him she can’t have kids, today he went to find out the full story. Obviously, he didn’t like what she had to say.”

  Both Dex and Bray nodded in understanding.

  “So?” Kai asked, “What’s the verdict? Are there other options?”

  I took a deep breath then told them everything Ashlynn had told me earlier that day. When I was done I was every bit as furious as I’d been while she was telling me her story. And by the expressions on my boys faces, so were they.

  We were all under the firm belief that no man should ever, under any circumstances, raise a hand against a woman. And should some dickwad be dumb enough to do so, and we got wind of it, he would be dealt with.

  That afternoon I ran a background check on Zane Thomson.

  Clearly the guy didn’t have a good upbringing, or a decent family situation. He bounced around from foster home to foster home from the time he was nine years old. There was nothing in his file to suggest he’d been involved in any other violent crimes, or any crimes really.

  As far as I could tell what went down with Ash was his first offence. And sure enough, he was out on parole. Had been for two months.

  My hands balled into fists. Justice system my arse. What kind of justice allows a
man like that to walk free after such little time behind bars? Five years and already he was out for good behaviour.

  He was free to move on with his life, but Ashlynn had to live with the consequences of his actions for the rest of her days. How was that fair?

  I needed to hit something, bad.

  I stood from my desk, my chair flying back into the shelf behind it making a few books fall to the floor. I left them there and headed for the door. I had to get out of there. I was in my truck pulling out of the parking lot before Gabe or Kai could stop me.

  An hour and a half later, I pulled up in front of my parent’s house. Walking around the back to my dad’s work shed, I bypassed the house in hopes of avoiding my mother while I was in such a foul mood.

  Dad heard my footsteps crunching on the gravel as I approached and came out to see who it was, “Axel? What are you doin’ here, son?”

  I tried to smile, but I just didn’t have it in me. “Hey, Pups. You busy?”

  “Never too busy for my boys. Come on in.” he gestured to his man cave, and I followed him back inside. He strode over to the fridge in the corner and pulled out a couple of beers, handed me one then crack open his own. “What’s up? Lady problems again?” he asked with a sly grin.

  A humourless laugh escaped me, “You could say that.” Taking a pull from my beer I plonked my arse down on the couch facing the flat screen mounted on the wall. “She can’t have kids.” I murmured.

  Dad remained silent for only a minute, then sat on the one seater opposite me. “Is that a deal breaker for you?” he finally asked.

  I shook my head, “No, I don’t think so. I considered it, briefly, but no. It’s not a deal breaker.”

  “So what’s the problem then?”

  “The reason she can’t have kids is too fucked up to comprehend.” I downed the rest of my beer, leaned forward to drop the empty bottle on the coffee table in the middle of the small sitting area, then rested my elbows on my knees while looking at my dad.

  This man had taught me the value of a woman, to respect and cherish all women. A small part of me felt sorry for this Zane dickwad, he obviously never had a decent role model in his life.

  “Are you goin’ to explain that to me or make me sit here wonderin’?” dad asked when I didn’t continue.

  So I told him everything that had happened the last few days, about Ash opening up to me the night before and me confronting her about it today and the background check I had run on her ex-boyfriend. He listened quietly, waiting for me to finish before he exclaimed, “Fuck me.”

  With a humph I agreed, “Exactly.”

  He rubbed his unshaven jaw back and forth a moment then asked, “You know where he is now?”

  This is the part that had me so wired up. “He skipped his last parole check-in, that was two days ago, and there’s been no sign of him. Do you think,” I paused, hoping like all hell I was just being paranoid, “You don’t think he’d be dumb enough to come looking for her, do you?”

  Dad sighed, “From what you say about his record, him havin’ had no priors, I’m thinkin’ it was a crime of passion. Seems to me like he’d never been shown love and thought your girl was the one, then when she didn’t turn out to be pregnant, he assumed she was lyin’ ‘cause she didn’t love him enough to keep it.”

  I swallowed past the lump of dread building in my throat, I’d came to this conclusion myself, and I was hoping my Pups could bring a new perspective to the situation. But he was seeing things the same way I was. Fuck.

  My head hung low, “Jesus fucking Christ, he’s looking for her.” I seethed.

  Dad reached across and placed his big hand on my shoulder, “You’ll find him before he gets anywhere near her, son. It’s what you do. It’s what you’re good at. You got this.”

  Looking up into his face, I could see the sincerity of his words in his expression. He believed in me, in my ability to take care of the situation and make sure no harm came to my girl. “Thanks Pups.”

  He clapped me on the shoulder twice then stood up to get another beer. “You want another?” he asked on his way to the fridge.

  “Nah, I should get back down the mountain, I’ve got work to do. I need to find this fucker before he gets to town.” I said, then gave my old man a quick hug and hoofed it back out to my truck.

  It was a long drive to see him, but it was worth it. He always said just the right thing to get my head back in the game so I could figure my shit out.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  After Axel’s visit to the library on Monday I hadn’t seen him for the rest of the week. But he texted me every day and called every other. He made sure I knew that he was thinking about me, and it made me feel good.

  Who I did see was Liz, she was waiting for me when I got back in from lunch. I’d eyed her suspiciously and asked, “What are you doing here?”

  She faked offense, “Why wouldn’t I come see my dearest friend in the world in the middle of the working day?”

  I raised a brow and crossed my arms across my chest, “Exactly my thoughts.” I glanced at my watch, “Especially since you take lunch at the same time every day…and it should have been over thirty minutes ago. So again, I ask, what are you doing here?”

  The scandalous grin that overtook her face should have been all I needed to know why she was here. “That man is all kinds of delicious, Ashy! I’m so proud of you!” she practically squealed.

  My blush was instantaneous. “Umm thanks.”

  “Does he have any brothers?” she asked with a gleam in her eyes.

  “We’re not having this conversation right now. I have to get back to work,” I pointed at her, “and so do you.”

  She’d left begrudgingly, but only after I promised to fill her in on all things Axel as soon as possible. After Liz had given me a hug and I’d shoved her out the door, I flopped down in my seat and thought about the conversation I’d had with Axel over lunch.

  I was glad I’d shared my story with him, as painful as it was. It was strangely therapeutic. Since revealing my demons to him I felt lighter. Like now I could move forward without the shadow of my past crippling me.

  I’d told him my story, and he’d promised to never ask about it again. He held me as I cried, and not once did I feel judged by him. He wrapped me in acceptance and compassion for what I had been through.

  Thursday night I was curled up in bed with my Kindle when my phone started ringing. I checked the display, even though I didn’t need to. Nobody else called me after eight o’clock. When I answered I tried not to sound as excited as I was to hear his voice, “Hey.” I said, playing it cool.

  “Hey gorgeous, what ya wearin’?” Axel greeted.

  Butterflies swarmed in my belly every time he called. I grinned, “Umm a terribly unattractive nightie.”

  He scoffed, “Unattractive and you don’t belong in the same sentence, Ashlynn. So, tell me about this nightie.”

  I was glad he couldn’t see me right now, because I was blushing furiously. “Umm it’s hot pink and says I’m queen of everything.”

  He laughed, “I like that. You’ll have to show me sometime.”

  “Umm…” I didn’t know what to say to that.

  He didn’t wait for me to try to find my words, “So, what are you doing while sitting around in this royal nightie?”

  I laughed this time, “Just chilling out with one of my book boyfriends.”

  “Your what now?” the tone of his voice had changed from playful to serious.

  A deep guttural laugh erupted from me, “Are you jealous of my book boyfriend?”

  “Depends, what the fuck is a book boyfriend?” he snapped.

  It was hilarious, he was getting all pissy about a man in a book. I was laughing so hard my tummy was cramping.

  “Ashlynn,” he growled.

  “Oh my god, you’re too much.” I panted between laughter, “a book boyfriend is a fictional character in a book.”

  “Oh,” he sounded stunned.

  “
Yeah, oh.” I mocked.

  We made plans for the next day before he ended the call. I snuggled down in my blankets, a feeling of safety and contentment filling me as I dozed off.

  It was now Friday evening, and Axel was picking me up to go watch a movie. I was freshly showered and dressed in a black and white stripped maxi dress, black ballet flats and a denim jacket. I’d left my hair out, and it hung in waves down my back. I loved my hair, it was my best feature, in my opinion anyway.

  Axel arrived right on time, knocking briskly on my front door. “Hi.” I greeted as I swung it open.

  His jaw slackened and he stared at me wordlessly. “Are you okay?” I asked, honestly concerned.

  He shook his head and blinked a few times before answering, “Fuck yeah I’m okay. You look,” he paused, “incredible.”

  I smiled, a huge toothy smile, “Thank you.” I breathed, touched by his words.

  “You got all the girly shit you’re going to need in that big arse handbag of yours?” he asked, eyeing the bag hanging from my arm.

  I rolled my eyes, “Yes.”

  He smiled back, and reached for my hand, “Good, let’s go.” He pulled me out the doorway and waited for me to lock the door behind me before tugging me out to his truck and depositing me inside.

  The rest of our night continued as smoothly and easily as it had begun. I truly enjoyed Axel’s company. He was warm, generous, and funny. And when he dropped me back home later that evening, he kissed me on the forehead, stroked my cheek gently with his fingertips, then said goodnight.

  I was elated and let down all at once. I wished he had kissed me properly. Like really gone for it. But he was still set in the ‘start out as friends’ phase of his plan he told me. Just as I was going to object, he’d shushed me, yes, shushed me. And told me he wanted me to be absolutely sure I wanted to move things forward because once that happened, there would be no going back.

  I was giddy at the prospect of starting something with him. Of starting to actually live my life. For the first time in a long time, I was looking forward to my future.