Second Chances

by Sarah Price

  “I stopped by your daed’s farm today,” he said as a way to break into conversation with her. “What a charming property!”

  She glanced at him, wondering how she should respond. Again, she chose to not say anything, since her first thought was wondering why he would stop there at all. Obviously he knew that her father was in Pinecraft, Florida, and the house had been let out to another. However, since she had always been taught inquisitiveness was a sign of not minding one’s business, she remained silent.

  “Such a shame that it’s not larger,” he added, more to himself than to her. “Another twenty acres and a man could make a right gut living there.”

  “I imagine my daed did all right,” she finally said, feeling slightly defensive for her father. Despite his flaws, she knew that he was a good man who had worked hard to provide for his daughters. While his erratic spending habits raised eyebrows, that didn’t take away the good qualities that he had demonstrated.

  “Ja vell, he supplemented with selling those minerals, ain’t so?” He held the horse’s reins with one hand and leaned back against the green velvet seat.

  Anna nodded. She had never taken much interest in her daed’s mineral business. She knew that he had regular customers and that paid the bulk of the bills. Of course, he mostly saved money, but only because his wife was much more frugal than he. Since the house was paid for and there were few expenses, the bank account had grown until she became ill. After paying medical bills, what was left began to dwindle away under William’s management, or lack thereof.

  Anna knew that Willis was more than aware of the circumstances. She wondered why he would bring up such an unpleasant memory. After all, it was after their mother died that William began suggesting that Elizabeth would marry Willis. When the opportunity came for a family reunion, he was most insistent in insuring that Elizabeth spent time with Willis, hoping that such a match would salvage his financial situation. After all, Willis’s family owned a larger farm only five miles away. Since he had numerous brothers, Willis would need to acquire his own home when he married.

  And so, at first, it had seemed as if William’s scheme would work. Several nights after the reunion, Elizabeth disappeared after supper. Anna suspected that she went riding with Willis, a theory that was proven true when Elizabeth confided in her that she would soon wed Willis Eicher.

  Anna hadn’t paid much attention to Willis at the reunion, choosing to spend her time with a group of younger women who sat on folding chairs near the older ones, just in case their help was needed. With over two hundred people at the gathering, it had been easy to miss meeting her distant cousin. But she had certainly heard enough spoken about him, especially when he married another woman without any regard for Elizabeth’s feelings or the family’s expectations.

  Now, as Anna rode next to him, she wondered about why he had misled Elizabeth in the first place. Even more concerning was why, after seven years, he suddenly reappeared and seemed intent on making amends with the family. Had years of remorse and guilt finally gotten to his conscience? Or had he simply matured and realized the mistake that he had made?

  “Do you farm, then?” she finally asked, feeling compelled to break the silence.

  He nodded. “I did, ja, with my daed.”

  She tilted her head. “But you were . . . ”

  When she didn’t complete the sentence, he finished it for her, “Married. Ja, I was. At the time, we lived at her daed’s for a few years. When she went home to Jesus, I stayed with her parents for a short while then went to visit my parents in Pinecraft.” He paused. “Now I’m pondering my future. Even the best laid plans can change so quickly, I reckon.”

  “I’m terribly sorry for your loss,” Anna said in response. “How very tragic!”

  Willis nodded, remaining silent for a long moment. While Anna didn’t know the circumstances surrounding his wife’s death, she felt certain that he had suffered at the loss. If they had invested heavily in trying natural cures, traveling to Mexico as Salome had heard, they must have fought hard to win the battle of her illness. Like most Amish people, however, he did not speak about the emotions regarding his loss. And Anna knew only too well the pain of death to someone far too young. Still, she also knew that losing a parent must feel different than losing a fiancée or a wife. It was expected for a parent to precede their children to heaven, even if that parent died at a young age. God called His people home when He wanted them to come, not necessarily when they wanted to go. It dawned on her that both Benjamin and Willis had suffered very similar losses, yet the former still visibly grieved while the latter seemed ready to move on.

  Willis directed the horse and buggy to trot down another side road that Anna knew looped back toward the Mussers’ home. As they approached the farm, he seemed to deliberately slow down the horse and glanced at her as he spoke. “Sunday worship is at the Troyers, ja?”

  Slowly, she nodded her head. “Ja, it is.”

  It just so happened that the worship service was to be held at the bishop’s home this week. It was the last worship service before new members of the church would accept their baptism, an event that triggered a busy season for the g’may. First there would be the autumn communion, a members-only service, and then the weddings would begin. Most of the weddings would be held on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the homes of the brides. Some wedding seasons, Anna would attend five or six weddings, most of them in her own church district or a neighboring one. While always happy for the newlyweds, Anna couldn’t help but feel a touch of bittersweet regret for having given up her own chance at happiness.

  “Will you be attending the fellowship meal afterward, then?”

  His question surprised her and Anna couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course! Surely you remember that I am watching my schwester’s kinner. It will do them good to see their friends and have time to play outside while the adults eat.”

  “The kinner must keep you busy all day!” He shook his head as he regarded her situation. “Certainly you are too young to be so burdened with their care!”

  Not wanting to point out that most women her age already had two, three, or even four of their own kinner, Anna shrugged off his comment. “They are no trouble. Well, at least not when they are with Salome or . . . sleeping!”

  This time Willis laughed with her.

  It was almost quarter to eight when he dropped her off at the house. She thanked him for the ride, although she still wondered why he had taken the long way back to the farm. With a wave of her hand, she watched him leave, the blinking lights on the back of the buggy slowly fading as he drove down the road. Despite her unasked questions it had been pleasant to spend some time with Willis, especially since she suspected that he might, after all, have intentions of becoming her brother-in-law.

  Chapter Sixteen

  THE FOLLOWING DAY Anna avoided Salome and Hannah, claiming she wanted to thoroughly clean the house before Cris and Mary returned home. She kept the two boys busy by challenging them to see which one could help scrub a section of the floor first. Their reward was a batch of freshly baked sugar cookies. During the early evening, she let the boys play outside while she cleaned out the flower beds, making certain to look up each time Cris Junior or Walter cried out for her to “look at me” as they climbed a tree branch or threw a rock into the field
s. By the time that the sun began to set, she hustled the boys inside to bathe and dress for bed. Having been a long day, one that gave her enough distractions that she had little time to reflect on her own concerns, she was thankful to hear the boys’ evening prayers and tuck them into their beds. An hour or two of quiet and solitude might be just enough to restore her strength for her sister’s upcoming return and the ultimate announcement that she would eagerly share without regard to Anna’s feelings. After all, Mary observed little of Anna’s emotions and certainly never gave one inkling that such an announcement would all but break her sister’s spirit.

  At eight o’clock Anna was surprised when not one but two buggies pulled into the driveway. Sitting in the rocking chair by the side window, she peered outside and saw that one of the buggies pulled into the small gravel spot behind Cris and Mary’s house while the second buggy, likely Caleb’s, continued down the lane to the other house.

  Shutting her devotional, Anna set it beside her on a small table and quickly stood up. She could hear the sound of footsteps on the gravel and a low voice speaking to the horse. A man, she realized. After straightening the bottom of her dress, she hurried to the door, wondering if someone had come with news. She knew it couldn’t have been a message from Lydia, for she had visited earlier that morning and stayed for the noon meal. And she could not think of anyone else who might come visiting, especially at such an hour.

  She stood on the porch, rubbing her arms to keep warm. The night air was cool at this time of the year, and she almost retreated into the house to grab a sweater from the mudroom. Her curiosity, however, kept her poised on the porch, waiting to see who had arrived.

  “Anna,” a voice called out.

  Still standing in the open doorway, she frowned. Willis? Why on earth was he stopping at the house so late in the evening? It was very late for visiting with the Mussers. Besides, didn’t he know that Cris and Mary had yet to return? Then it dawned on her that Willis hadn’t come to see the Mussers. Instead, he had come calling on her!

  Before she could comprehend that thought, Willis walked up the steps to the porch and stood before her. “You must be freezing!” he said.

  Her teeth almost chattered. “I am!” She gave a soft laugh. “I didn’t know who was here. I must not have been thinking when I opened the door.”

  In the darkness she could sense a smile on his face. “I won’t stay long, but mayhaps you should get a shawl?”

  Without being asked twice, Anna left him on the porch and hurried back into the house. Alone, she stood there for a moment and tried to make sense of this unexpected visit. Nevertheless, he was a relative, so she owed him the courtesy of her attention. Quickly she put on a black sweater and grabbed a shawl as an extra measure of precaution. On the way back outside, she paused and reached into the cabinet for a battery-operated lantern. No sense in sitting in the cold and the dark, she reasoned.

  “Better?” he asked when she emerged from the house, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it. He kept a respectful distance from her, just in case anyone drove by and saw them.

  In the soft glow from the lantern she nodded, feeling shy in his presence. The idea of being called on by her sister’s former suitor made her feel self-conscious. She didn’t want to read too much into his visit, yet the idea of getting to know him better was not entirely dissatisfying to her. After all, the only man she had ever considered marrying would soon wed another, and that lingering fear of being a burden seemed far too real. It is time to be more open-minded, she told herself.

  “I wanted to check on you,” he said, breaking the silence. “I hear tell that your sister and her husband shall return by the weekend.”

  Again, Anna nodded, wondering where he would have heard that news but knowing that it was not her business

  to ask, even if she was curious. “That’s what I’m told.” A letter had arrived that morning, and Raymond had told her the news when she saw him earlier in the day.

  He leaned against the porch railing, fiddling with his hat in his hands. He seemed a bit nervous, and that made Anna even more curious, for he had always seemed overly confident in the stories that her father told. Of course, her father hadn’t been particularly fond of Willis, either . . . at least back then. “They’ve been gone for almost two weeks, ain’t so? A long time for others to care for your kinner and work.”

  When he said it that way, she realized how long it truly had been. Not only had Anna been burdened with tending to the children for the last week, Jonas been left to tend to all of the farm chores without Cris’s help since their trip to Lancaster. The decision for both Mary and Cris to stay in Pennsylvania had impacted more people than Anna originally realized. “Ja, it has been nearly two weeks,” she said. “It’ll be good to have them back.”

  In that moment, as she spoke those words, Anna realized that she hadn’t really spoken the truth. After all, when Cris and Mary did return, everything in the house would go back to the way it was before the Lancaster trip.

  To Anna’s surprise, despite the extra work and constant demands for her attention, she had enjoyed her time at the house without her sister. The boys’ behavior had improved tremendously, something that Salome pointed out on more than one occasion. There were fewer tantrums, arguments, and spells of crying, that was for sure and certain. The stronger sense of peace, calm, and love that filled the house made her long for her own home and family.

  Anna feared that the peace and calm would dissipate immediately upon her sister’s return. Mary surrounded herself with noise, conflict, and controversy. In fact, her younger sister seemed to thrive upon it. And, upon their return, Anna knew that she would lose her authoritative role in the house, relegated to, once again, serving Mary during her tantrums, arguments, and spells of illness.

  The idea did not seem pleasant to Anna and she felt a sense of dread fill her chest.

  “You’re quite remarkable,” Willis said, a slight hesitation in his voice, “to have taken on such responsibility during their absence.”

  She was thankful for the darkness so that he couldn’t see the color flood to her cheeks. Compliments were far and few between among the Amish, and in her case, almost nonexistent, at least from her own family. “It’s no more than anyone else would do, I’m sure,” she finally offered, a gentle way of deflecting the compliment so that she didn’t seem prideful in having received it.

  They talked for a few more minutes, Willis telling her about a horse auction that he had attended recently. She listened, appreciating the detail with which he described a horse that he had bid on but lost. Then, after the conversation dwindled down, he made his excuses and bade her good night. Since no one else was home, it was only proper that the visit be kept brief. Anna, however, was left pondering whether the visit had been a good idea at all. It was a question that remained unanswered when she finally retired to her bedroom for the night.

  The following day, Friday, she was washing the breakfast dishes while little Cris and Walter were helping their grandfather, when Hannah waltzed into the kitchen. The glow on her face and the way she practically danced across the floor told Anna all that she needed to know.

  “Why, gut mariye, Hannah,” she said as she set down the dish towel. She tried not to smile, wanting to let the young woman tell her own news before
she congratulated her.

  “Oh, Anna! You’ll never guess!”

  At this, she smiled but still waited.

  “Caleb and I . . . ” Hannah hesitated, lowering her eyes modestly for just a moment as she sought the right words. “Well, I know it’s supposed to be announced at worship and all, but you are like a schwester to me, and . . . ” She laughed and grabbed Anna’s hands. “Leah is not the only one to marry this season!” Another laugh and a quick embrace followed her announcement.

  “What a blessing!” Anna said. And she meant it.

  When Hannah pulled away, she still held Anna’s hands. “I should like for you to be one of my attendants, Anna. And I know Maem will be asking for help with the cleaning and all.”

  “Of course!”

  She gasped as she gushed, “Mayhaps Leah and I might have a double wedding!” Then she shook her head. “Nee, Caleb wouldn’t like that at all, I reckon.”

  Anna smiled. “It’s to be your special day, Hannah.”

  “Oh, you’re right, I know you’re right!” Laughing, she released Anna’s hands and hugged herself, giddy with happiness. “Oh, to think! I’ll be Caleb’s Hannah forever!”

  Caleb’s Hannah. While the young woman gushed on about Caleb’s farm and his wonderful family, Anna was haunted by those two words. She had given up being Freman’s Anna; that spot was now reserved for Leah. Would anyone ever claim her, or would she simply remain “Just Anna” or, even worse, “The Old Maedel Anna”? The thought sent a wave of anxiety through her and she had to turn her back to Hannah, just for a moment, to compose herself.

  For the rest of the day, she tried to focus on anything but the upcoming wedding season. Now that the Mussers would host not one but two weddings, Anna knew that the upcoming weeks would be chaotic and busy. For that, she would be thankful. After seeing Hannah’s joy, Anna knew that she dreaded seeing Leah’s reaction. To watch Leah laugh and blush over Freman was more than Anna could bear.