Second Chances

by Sarah Price

  Instead of thinking about it, she catered to the boys’ every whim, making them cookies and coloring pictures with them. In the afternoon, she kept herself busy by cleaning the house. There was something satisfying about scrubbing the kitchen floor and washing the woodwork. It kept her mind from wandering and her heart from breaking.

  With Cris and Mary scheduled to return by noon the next day, Anna knew that, undoubtedly, Mary would be exhausted from the journey and want to rest with her feet raised. And then, of course, she’d want to share every minute detail of what had transpired since Anna had returned to Ohio. Mary would have an opinion about the upcoming wedding announcements, the rash decision of Leah’s choice of a husband garnering more attention than Hannah’s since Freman was in a better situation than Caleb. Anna could only imagine her sister’s reaction to that realization; it was one thing for her sisters-in-law to marry, but to marry into a situation that afforded them a more comfortable lifestyle was something that would cause Mary a great deal of distress.

  Invited to Salome’s for supper, Anna listened patiently to Hannah talk about her upcoming wedding. Caleb had already gone to the bishop, she informed everyone, her eyes sparkling and her smile bright. “We’re to be one of the first announced!” The delight in Hannah’s expression helped Anna realize that, even if she personally was never to marry, she could share the joy of others.

  With a deep breath and stronger commitment to overcome her feelings of guilt and regret, she vowed to not let her past cast any shadows on either Hannah or Leah’s future. She leaned forward, forcing herself to eagerly listen to and participate in the discussions regarding the required preparations for the two weddings.

  By the time she returned to Mary’s house, the boys were tired, Walter especially, since he had played outside for the majority of the afternoon with his brother in the hayloft. Unlike most nights, both boys were fast asleep before she extinguished the lantern and, with the upmost of care to not make any noise, shut their bedroom door behind her.

  In the darkness of the evening light she made her way back downstairs. To her surprise, she heard a soft knock at the door. As she was tucking the boys into their beds, she had heard a buggy drive down the driveway, but assuming it was Caleb for Hannah, she hadn’t paid much attention to it. The knock at the door, however, startled her. She looked out the window and saw that there was a buggy parked behind the house. When she recognized the horse, a pretty black mare with one white sock on her hind leg, she didn’t need to guess who stood at the door.

  “Good evening, Anna,” Willis said, just as pleasant and formal as he had been Wednesday evening. “Just wanted to check on you.”

  She gave a soft laugh, uncertain how to respond to such attention from a man. If she had wondered about his intentions the other evening, she was fairly certain now that his visits were not just a distant relation rekindling a long-lost family tie. “That’s kind of you, Willis. I can assure you that I’m fine. Tired, but fine.”

  He leaned against the doorframe and smiled. In the glow from the lantern, she noticed that he never once took his eyes from her face. “You have undertaken quite a bit and succeeded quite well.” Another compliment. This time, she knew that he saw her blush.

  The sound of an approaching buggy caused them both to look toward the entrance of the driveway. When the horse turned, Anna knew that it was Caleb. His visits were regular and prompt; she could almost set the clock to them. He would make a fine husband for Hannah, she thought. And, with his farm located nearby, Salome would not lose both of her daughters.

  “I had forgotten how nice this area is,” Willis said after Caleb passed, pausing just momentarily to wave.

  “Oh, ja?”

  “I’m staying at my aendi’s, you know.”

  She had heard that and she said as much.

  “Still contemplating whether I should go back to Florida or not.” He crossed his arms over his chest and glanced upward, as if searching his memory. “The community is small and caters more to the elderly, I reckon.”

  Anna wanted to point out that Elizabeth was there. She didn’t.

  “And the summers are rather hot.” He returned his gaze to hers. “Nee, I suspect I shall stay here, instead.”

  “Oh?” It was all that she could think to say when she realized that he waited for a response.

  “I suspect that you will be busy tomorrow, what with your sister and her husband returning. I did, however, want to inquire whether or not you might be attending the singing after worship service on Sunday.”

  “Oh.” It came out like a little gasp. While it wasn’t unusual for people of all ages to attend singings, she hadn’t gone in quite a while. With all of her girlfriends married, she had started to feel out of place, more a chaperone than a participant. “I had not planned on it,” she admitted.

  He nodded his head just once, his tone suddenly somber. “Ja vell, mayhaps you might consider it? I understand that another group of youth will be visiting from Bishop Kauffman’s g’may.” She remembered Bishop Kauffman from the van ride both to and from Lancaster.

  “I . . . I reckon I could go.” She didn’t want to go, didn’t want to feel like an old, unmarried woman. But she also knew that it would keep her mind occupied.

  He grinned. “Wunderbarr! I shall look for you, then!”

  That night, as she lay in bed, she tried to imagine herself married to someone like Willis. What little she knew of him conflicted tremendously with what she had heard about him from her father and Lydia. Elizabeth, being far too proud, was never one to discuss what had transpired. He seemed pleasant enough, Anna thought, full of energy and good humor. Still, she did not hold him in the same regard as she held Freman.

  While she knew that it was not fair to compare the two men, the unfairness leaning more toward Willis than Freman, she couldn’t help but do so. It wasn’t the difference in their appearances, Freman having a more striking presence than her cousin. No. The truth was that Anna much preferred Freman’s thoughtful conversations that often touched on God and faith to Willis’s more pointed and trivial dialogue. And, of course, that eight-year-old emotional tie still bound her heart to Freman. That was something Willis would never have.

  While Anna was aware that autumn courtships often happened quickly, Leah’s wedding to Freman being a perfect example, she had no desire for such a speedy courtship for herself, no matter her age. However, Willis’s interest seemed genuine and she needed the diversion. Mayhaps attending a singing wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all, she thought. She rolled over and shut her eyes, hoping for sleep to take her quickly so that she could forget the dull sense of loss that still lingered in her heart.

  Chapter Seventeen

  MY WORD!” MARY laughed as she exited the van, clutching her oversized purse in her hands in front of her as if creating a barrier between herself and her two excited children. Anna immediately noticed that her sister did not greet the boys with anything more than a smile. While Anna suspected that they were both disappointed, as was she, for both boys would have benefited from some affection, perhaps even a hug, from their mother, she knew that such affection was not typical for Mary. Or many other Amish mothers, she thought. Her mother, however, had always spared the three girls a kind word or gentle touch, something that had clearly not ru
bbed off onto Mary.

  Making her way toward the porch, Mary glanced toward the garden and inspected her flower bed. “I see that someone must have been busy working!” There was an edge to her voice as she looked at Anna. “Such productivity! Why, I’d barely recognize the place, we’ve been gone so long.”

  “It’s been only two weeks,” Cris said, a weariness to his voice that Anna had never before heard. She could only imagine that, while living in close quarters in someone else’s home, his wife’s fussiness had taxed his nerves.

  While Mary’s observation was clearly exaggerated, Anna’s examination of her sister was not. In just two weeks Mary’s stomach had bulged. And so had the rest of her extremities. Anna immediately knew what she suspected would never be said: Mary’s weight gain was not just from a pregnancy but from not helping as she had promised while staying at the Eshes’ house. Her sister relished being pampered and waited on. In the past, during her last pregnancy in particular, Mary often remained in bed, forcing others to bring her meals and claiming illness when it was time for chores.

  While Anna looked forward to another baby to love, she knew that Mary would be even more impossible to deal with over the next few months. And, because she was the one living at Mary’s house, the weight of her care would fall upon her shoulders and no one else’s. It wasn’t a particularly encouraging thought to make her rejoice in Mary’s return.

  The driver pulled two suitcases from the trunk and set them on the driveway. After Cris paid the man for his services, he turned his attention to his sons. To Anna’s satisfaction, he spent a few moments asking them how they were and commenting about how much they had grown. Walter beamed at the comment, which caused little Cris Junior to nudge him with his elbow.

  “Now, now,” Anna said softly.

  Cris forced a tired smile and turned his attention to her. “We would have returned earlier but . . . ” He didn’t finish the sentence, leaving it dangling for Anna to figure out on her own. “Things have been well here, then?”

  She nodded her head. “Oh, ja, just fine.” She smiled at the boys. “Right as rain, wouldn’t you say?” Both boys nodded eagerly.

  Mary huffed under her breath.

  “And the boys have been remarkable,” Anna added with a glance toward her sister. “Quite helpful and very mindful during your absence.”

  At this compliment, both boys glowed and their father leaned over to tousle little Cris’s mop of curls.

  “I’m surprised you haven’t asked after Leah,” Mary said sharply, deliberately changing the subject so the attention fell back to her and not her two children.

  “There have been several letters,” Anna responded, trying to keep her tone even and kind. “From Rebecca Esh, anyway. She was quite consistent with her writing. Why, I do believe Salome received at least three letters from her.”

  “She doesn’t have much to do, I reckon.”

  Mary’s sharp remark did not go unnoticed by both Anna and Cris. Both looked at Mary, but only Anna managed to reply. “I suppose a farmer’s wife always has something to do,” she said. “Even more impressive that she thought to use her spare time to write to Salome.”

  Ignoring her sister’s comment, or perhaps not even hearing it, Mary headed toward the house, leaving Cris to deal with the luggage and his sons. “Ja vell, in case you are curious about Leah,” she said over her shoulder before climbing the steps to the porch, “she’s recovered quite nicely, if I do say so myself.”

  Reluctantly, Anna followed. “I’m sure your care was greatly appreciated.”

  Mary smiled at the compliment. “I must say that I was surprised at how attentive the Esh family was,” she added, lowering her voice. “She certainly was not lacking in companionship!”

  Anna knew what her sister meant. “So I heard.”

  Stepping inside the house, Mary looked around as if seeing it for the first time with fresh eyes. The air smelled like lavender due to Anna using vinegar and water with a dash of lavender oil to clean. And the floor shone, the result of a good scrubbing on her hands and knees. With everything put away and no papers strewn about, it was as pristine and orderly as anyone could hope for.

  “Everything seems so . . . ” Mary paused as if looking for the word. Anna raised an eyebrow, wondering at the serious look on her sister’s face. “Small!”

  If Anna was wounded by the lack of appreciation for her efforts, she did not show it. She had not spent her time cleaning the house in the hopes of receiving compliments from her sister. Praise and appreciation were two things that did not slip through Mary’s lips too often.

  “After spending so much time at the Eshes, with that grand room of theirs, it makes this place feel as if I’m returning to an old, dilapidated grossdawdihaus!” The look of disgust on Mary’s face said more than her words. It was true that the farms in Lancaster seemed to have a different layout than the ones in Holmes County. But Anna would be hard-pressed to call Cris and Mary’s house dilapidated.

  Fortunately, she didn’t have to respond. No sooner had Mary started complaining than the door opened and Cris stumbled through it, a large suitcase in his hands. He set the bag to the side and looked around the kitchen. Contrary to Mary, he seemed well pleased with his sister-in-law’s efforts. “Well done, Anna,” he said. “You’ve definitely been working hard during our absence. It certainly shows!”

  “Danke,” she replied, too aware that a scowl had crossed Mary’s face when she heard Cris’s compliment.

  “I reckon we’ll all be working hard over the next few weeks,” Mary added. She made no move to assist Cris with the bag. Instead, she headed toward the sofa and sank into it. Lifting her feet, she leaned back and stretched out, one arm tossed over her forehead. “Oh my, how travel makes me tired. I can’t even imagine taking that drive to Pinecraft. Sheer torture!”

  Once again, the door opened, and the two boys raced inside.

  “Take off your shoes!” Mary scolded, her loud voice and angry tone surprising Anna as well as Cris and Walter.

  “We don’t have no shoes on!”

  Mary lifted her head, her dark eyes looking in their direction. Indeed, neither boy had shoes upon their feet, for they had left them at the door as Anna had taught them to do during their mother’s absence. Rather than praise them, Mary sank back into the pillows and groaned. “My head is throbbing. Cris, be a good boy and fetch your maem a cool cloth.”

  Gesturing that she would do it, Anna hurried to the sink. As she ran the water, letting it run so that it was cold before she soaked a washcloth beneath it, she waited for Mary to begin updating her on the events from Lancaster. The two boys took advantage of their mother’s indisposed nature and slipped back through the door. Within seconds Anna caught sight of them running past the window toward their grandparents’ house.

  “Those Lancaster Amish,” Mary sighed. “Quite different in nature.”

  “How so?” Anna handed her the washcloth and sat in the chair beside her sister.

  Mary waved the washcloth in the air, its purpose forgotten. “So much commercialism out there. Even at this time of the year, the tourists are everywhere and quite brazen with their cameras and questions.”

  Not wanting to get into a deba
te with Mary, Anna remained silent. She did, however, feel differently about Lancaster County. Granted that they had only stayed a short while, she had enjoyed the different scenery and felt that the people she met were warm and welcoming. She hadn’t noticed an excess of tourists, although they hadn’t ventured into the main town.

  “I simply cannot believe that Leah would move there!” The washcloth slipped from Mary’s fingers, but Mary made no moved to collect it from the floor.

  Anna frowned. “You mean she’s moving to Indiana, ja?”

  A harsh laugh escaped Mary’s throat and she sat up, just enough to lean on one elbow so that she could stare at her sister. “Indiana? Whatever for?” She reached down for the washcloth and handed it, absentmindedly, to Anna, indicating that she wanted it refreshed. “Although I do envy that house, I do not envy the work she will have ahead of her.” Glancing at her sister, who took the washcloth, a confused look upon her face, Mary quickly added, “Envy with a small ‘e,’ of course.”

  But Anna wasn’t focused on Mary’s admission of jealousy. She was, instead, focused on the fact that Leah was to move to Pennsylvania, not Indiana. “Is Freman to move his business there, then?”

  Snatching the washcloth back, Mary lowered her head once again and dropped the cloth on her forehead. “Freman? Why do you bring him up?”

  None of this was making any sense. “I thought that he . . . ” She paused. Dare she state what she had presumed? “ That he and Leah . . . ”

  “Oh, heavens, no!” This time, when Mary laughed, there was great mirth in the sound. “Freman Whittmore?”

  Time seemed to stand still as Anna processed this information. Wasn’t it just a few days ago when the letter arrived that so upset Salome? Hadn’t Salome told her that Leah was to wed? “I’m afraid that I don’t understand any of this,” Anna confided. “Salome said that Leah wrote of an upcoming wedding. I presumed that she meant with Freman, especially since he left right away to return to Pennsylvania.”