Uncharted Passage

by Julie Cannon

  Hayden gazed deep into Emily’s eyes and what she saw gave her a glimmer of hope. She smiled gently, reflecting that her life had not been the same since she met Emily. If the feel of Emily’s hand in hers and the flame in her eyes was any indication, she would be at Hayden’s side whatever happened after this. Hayden wanted that possibility, she needed it.

  She wanted to kiss her but instead said, “I’m starving.”

  Emily read exactly what she intended in her statement and her eyes flared with equal desire. “I have quite an appetite myself.”

  It was all Hayden could do to drag her hand out of Emily’s grasp and suggest, “You said something about dinner?”

  *

  They changed clothes, took a cab downtown, and strolled down Michigan Avenue, window-shopping and enjoying the early evening. They stopped and went inside Burberry, Louis Vuitton, J.Crew, Tiffany’s, and Cartier. Hayden knew the prices were out of her range even though there wasn’t a price tag to be seen. They decided to walk to Navy Pier. Emily wanted to have dinner on the Spirit of Chicago cruise.

  “The cruise doesn’t leave until nine thirty, and it’s three hours,” Hayden said, reading the information sign on the ticket booth. “The car is picking us up at five thirty tomorrow morning. Are you sure you want to do this? We can get something to eat in one of the restaurants if you’d like.”

  Emily linked her arm through Hayden’s and leaned close. She swept an appreciative look over the gleaming luxury liner, sleek and proud in the water. “I’m game if you are.”

  Hayden replied by asking the clerk for two tickets.

  They chatted easily over dinner of prime rib and crabmeat-stuffed filet of sole. Hayden offered her a taste of the fish and the gesture of sharing the small sample from her fork felt as intimate as the setting in the dining room. The room was dark with the candles on the table and the lights of the city the only source of illumination. They were tucked in a corner of the room, providing them a fabulous view of the city yet almost complete privacy. They sipped wine and shared stories about their childhoods. It was during this time when Emily tentatively asked Hayden about her life in the military. Hayden looked at her questioningly.

  “I’m not going to bite your head off. Please, I really want to know.” Emily wanted to know what made Hayden tick. Why she joined the Army, why she remained, how it had shaped her character and made her the woman she was.

  “I wanted to be in the Army as far back as I can remember,” Hayden said. “I don’t know if it was what I wanted or if my father drilled it into me so firmly I wanted it by osmosis. It was a given. I would follow my father, and his father, and his father, and go to West Point. It didn’t matter that I was a girl.”

  “Did you have any brothers?”

  “No. My father was disappointed that he had four daughters. When I was eight, I overheard him begging my mother to have another child, hoping it would be a boy. She must have put her foot down or cut him off because there were no more babies after that. So, being the firstborn, I’m the son my father never had.”

  “And what does he think?”

  Hayden chuckled. “Well, I outrank him. I’m not sure he likes that, but he gets to brag about me to his Army cronies, so I guess it’s all right.”

  Emily detected a touch of bitterness in her voice but didn’t mention it. “Did you ever want to do anything else?”

  “No. I actually like the discipline and honor that soldiers have. There is something about serving your country that fills you with a sense of pride like nothing else.” Hayden was never able to find the words to describe how those words really felt. “I wanted to have that. To be one of them. It’s my life and probably will always be in some respects. It was a natural fit, and up until recently, it was a very good fit.”

  She was surprised that she’d actually verbalized what she’d been struggling with lately.

  “What’s changed?” Emily kept her questions brief. This was the most Hayden had talked about herself, and she wanted the conversation to continue.

  “Me.” Hayden’s answer was as simple and as complicated as that. “I was happy going around the world meeting people, making friends, doing what I love for an employer I love until one day I guess I found there was something more to life.”

  Hayden was looking right at Emily as she spoke. She had said as much in their interview yesterday and was saying so again. Unfortunately she couldn’t tell Emily that what she had found was her. That kind of statement was much further out there than she was.

  “And now?”

  Hayden leaned back in her chair and ran her eyes over Emily’s face. Her eyes were bright, her nose just a little crooked, and the flickering candles gave her a soft, sensuous glow. Hayden’s hands twitched as she remembered how smooth Emily’s hair was and how it felt gliding through her fingers. Every nerve in her body was on fire and she wanted Emily more than she’d ever wanted anyone.

  “And now I’m sitting across from a beautiful woman enjoying good food, fine wine, and a stunning view of Chicago. What more could a girl want?”

  Emily inhaled sharply as Hayden’s desire blazed. “To get off this boat, go back to the hotel, and make love all night,” she answered breathlessly.

  “You’re the one who wanted to go on this three-hour cruise. I would have been perfectly content with a hot dog and a beer,” Hayden teased. “Oh, and the making love all night part, too.” Hayden was rewarded with Emily’s laughter filling the air and her hand wrapped tightly in hers.

  After dinner they went up on the upper deck to get a better view of the city. Lake Michigan was smooth and the ship passed in front of the Adler Planetarium on their return to the dock. The Sears Tower and the AT&T Building were in the background, floor after floor of lights.

  Emily shivered and Hayden put her arm around her shoulders. “Cold?”

  “Not really. Just thinking.”

  “About what?” Hayden enjoyed the casual conversation they were sharing under the stars. A couple very much in love sat across from them in a similar position.

  “Your love life.”

  “What about it?” Hayden wasn’t really surprised by the question.

  “How is it someone as gorgeous as you hasn’t been scooped up?”

  Hayden tightened her grip around Emily. “I was never in one place long enough, I guess. Relationships take a long time to develop and even longer to build. I was always off to another place before it got to either point. It was easier that way, too. I saw too many broken hearts and too many cheaters. I wasn’t interested in either one.”

  “So do you have women scattered all over the world?” Emily jabbed her teasingly in the stomach.

  “Honestly?”

  “Yes, if the number is less than ten, and no if it’s not,” Emily replied lightly, even though she was very interested in the answer.

  Hayden hesitated for a moment, trying to think of the best way to answer the question. “Let’s just say that I am forty-three years old and have known I was a lesbian for most of that time.”

  Hayden had no idea how many women she had been with in the past twenty years. But sitting here beside Emily, she wanted the number to stop increasing.

  “Good answer. An evasive one, but good nonetheless.” Emily’s laughter filled the night air.

  They caught a cab back to the hotel and the clock in the lobby struck one as they walked toward the elevator. Silently Hayden pushed the Up button. She wanted to ask Emily to stay with her. She wanted to make love with her in a soft bed on clean sheets, nothing between them but a thin sheen of sweat. They silently stepped into the elevator and turned around. Hayden pushed the button for her floor, and when she went to push the number for Emily’s, Emily grasped her wrist and stopped her. Their eyes met in the mirrored doors as and the elevator began to climb. Emily’s eyes told Hayden everything she needed to know.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Hayden’s room was dark except for the light coming in through the open curtains. She reached for the l
ight, but again Emily grasped her hand, this time putting it on her breast. Radiant flames danced in her dark eyes and Hayden could feel Emily’s heart beat faster against her chest. She cupped Emily’s cheek, softly caressing the soft skin the way she had that first time. Emily turned into the caress, kissing Hayden’s palm with her lips and tongue. Hayden’s legs started to shake. She lowered her head and gently kissed her.

  Emily deepened the kiss, sending shock waves through Hayden’s body. She wrapped her hands into Hayden’s short hair, pulling her closer. Emily’s nipple hardened against her palm and Hayden tweaked it, causing Emily to moan into her mouth. A rush of desire shot through Hayden, and she pinned Emily to the door.

  In her haste to taste and touch the woman who’d driven her mad the past few days, Hayden’s hands and lips were everywhere. She couldn’t get her clothes off fast enough, but when Emily’s whimper cut through her passion, she forced herself to regain control. Breathing heavily and not certain how long she could restrain herself, Hayden stepped back slightly.

  Without a word, Emily knew she was being given the opportunity to step out of their embrace and stop what was about to happen. Hayden was giving her the choice, and in that minute she fell completely in love with her. Hayden was strong but not overpowering, her character was impeccable, and she was confident in what she believed in, but she gave Emily the opportunity to be who she was. She was charming, respectful, striking in her uniform and breathtaking out of it. There was something about her that connected them as more than survivors. They were two strangers who had shared a moment in time. Now they were two women sharing much more.

  Hayden broke the spell. “Once upon a time, my life was in perfect order. I knew what was expected of me and what I could expect in return. But then you came floating by and now I don’t know who I am, or what I’m supposed to be doing, other than making love to you.”

  Emily cupped Hayden’s face in her hands. She softly kissed her eyes, her cheeks, the edges of her mouth. She pulled away and looked deep into her eyes, confirming without words that she understood and she was also giving Hayden the choice as to where they would go from here. Hayden had much more to lose, and Emily was not about to take her somewhere she was not willing to go.

  Hayden teetered on the brink of indecision. If she backed away now, she could return to her regular life. If she kissed Emily one more time, she would be lost forever. She lowered her head, knowing she could never go back and not wanting to.

  The intensity of her orgasms was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. Emily knew just what she needed and when she needed it. She spent a lifetime kissing every inch of Hayden’s body and Hayden thought she was going to scream from the exquisite sensations. She was amazed with Emily’s tenacity and endurance as they made love time and time again. Emily was a fabulous lover, eager yet patient, deliberate one minute, spontaneous the next. She encouraged her with her mouth, sweet words flowing from her lips as soft as the feather kisses that covered her body, all the while making Hayden feel like she was the most desirable woman in the world.

  “Touch me,” Emily whispered in her ear, bringing Hayden back to the present.

  Emily was draped over her like a warm blanket, smothering her with a passionate kiss. Hayden slid her hands down Emily’s back and across her tight ass before she shifted and rolled on top of her. She cradled Emily’s head with one arm while the other drifted closer to Emily’s arching hips. Her skin was soft and warm quivering under her fingertips. Hayden caressed the inside of Emily’s thighs, her touch alternating between slow, deliberate strokes and teasing flicks of pressure. She planted soft kisses down the long scar on her leg. Her stomach clenched when she briefly thought that Emily could have died from this injury.

  Emily grabbed her hair and pulled her into a fierce kiss. Her tongue danced in Hayden’s mouth and her fingers mimicked the movement as they slid into warm wetness. Faster and faster they moved, their breath mixing together as one. She came hard and fast, lifting them both off the bed with the force of her climax.

  Hayden tasted blood on her lips when Emily released the viselike grip on her head. She was light-headed and panting from the passion they’d shared. She soothed Emily with light kisses on her cheek, her jaw, her swollen lips. Emily’s eyes fluttered open, dazzling Hayden with their brilliance.

  They made love into the wee hours of the morning, and caught only an exhausted hour of sleep before the automated wake-up call wished them a great day.

  “Time to get up.” Hayden dropped the receiver back into the cradle as Emily snuggled closer. “We have a date for coffee with five million Americans.”

  Getting out of bed was the last thing she was interested in doing. She had just gotten to sleep, and if she was going to be awake with Emily lying naked in her arms, getting out of bed was not what she would be doing. Obviously Emily had the same idea because her fingers were already teasing an alert nipple.

  “If you keep doing that we we’ll be late,” Hayden admonished.

  Just before Emily leaned in for a kiss, Hayden heard her say, “Then you’d better hurry.”

  Hayden’s heart lurched and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “Good morning.”

  “Yes, it is. I’ll have to bring you along anytime I travel. Your wake-up call is much more pleasant than the hotel operator’s.”

  Emily caressed Hayden’s cheek. Her heart was bursting, and it was not from their recent exertion. She knew she had fallen a little bit in love with her rescuer during their time together on the beach, but her feelings were well beyond that early crush. Hayden’s smile was crooked and her hair a mess, but right now, she was the most stunning woman Emily had ever met.

  “Just my luck we’re doing interviews in five different cities.” Hayden raised her eyebrows mischievously. She was rewarded by another hard kiss that threatened to ignite her passion again. She pulled back reluctantly. “We’ve got to get up. If we’re late, Tillman will come looking for us.”

  “Damn your military discipline.” Emily swatted at her arm.

  This time, Hayden detected only teasing in her tone. “I know, I know, but we’ve got to get going.”

  Emily looked at her with such longing Hayden couldn’t make herself move. She was one touch away from forgetting everything she had learned about duty.

  “I can’t get up with you lying on top of me.” Emily’s voice was sultry. She watched as something flickered in Hayden’s eyes.

  “But I like it here,” Hayden responded, lowering her head, fully intending to nibble on the sensitive spot just below Emily’s left ear.

  Emily pushed against her chest. “I like you there, too, but we have to get up. I have to get back to my room, shower, and get dressed. You”—she poked Hayden affectionately in the chest—“just have to roll into the shower and put on your uniform, which if I haven’t mentioned it, you look stunning in. It takes me a little longer to get myself together.”

  “I would think you’re beautiful in anything you wear,” Hayden countered.

  The seriousness of her comment surprised Emily. “Thank you, but get up.”

  She was rewarded with Hayden’s laughter as she rolled off her and onto her back. The place where Hayden had lain was immediately cool, and Emily fought the urge to crawl back into the warm cocoon of her arms.

  Hayden felt surprisingly content. Mornings after were usually awkward at best, but she felt as if she could spar with Emily all morning. She reached over and turned on the light. The room was cast in a warm glow.

  “You first,” she said, shaking the covers.

  “What?”

  “I said you first. Go on. Go.” Hayden waved her hands as if shooing away a pesky fly.

  Emily caught on to her ulterior motive. Hayden wanted to see her naked. Feigning indignation, she said, “Colonel Caldwell, I thought you were an officer and a gentleman.”

  “I will admit that I am an officer, but I have never been mistaken for a gentleman. Now up.”

  Emily look
ed Hayden directly in the eye. Slowly and sensuously, she rose from the bed, all the while maintaining eye contact. She reached her arms above her head and stretched like a cat after a long nap. A soft moan slipped from her lips and Hayden’s eyes narrowed. Just as slowly she lowered her arms and walked around the foot of the bed to Hayden’s side.

  In her most innocent voice, she asked, “Where are my clothes?” She turned her full body from side to side, exaggerating her actions and giving Hayden an eyeful. “There they are.” With a quick glance over her shoulder, she bent down to pick up her shirt.

  There was no mistaking Hayden’s intake of breath and the sound of sheets rustling behind her. She pivoted just as Hayden was about to touch her, and pointed her finger like the teacher she was. “Don’t even think about it. We’re going to be late.”

  “I don’t care,” Hayden stuttered, and she meant it. She would gladly face a court martial for just one more touch of Emily’s soft body.

  Emily surged with the influence she had over this strong woman. She would never use it against Hayden, but she felt powerful just the same. It was something her analytical mind would have to digest.

  “Don’t come any closer, Colonel. I may have to hurt you.”

  “Promise?” Hayden teased but stayed where she was. She picked up Emily’s pants and the loafers that had been tossed carelessly next to the bed, then handed them to Emily. “The least I can do is walk you to the door.”

  Emily zipped her pants and stepped into her shoes. “Only if you put on a robe. It’s a bit chilly in here.” She studied Hayden’s erect nipples.

  Hayden felt Emily’s gaze travel hotly from her nipples to her crotch but managed to walk to the closet and don the plush terrycloth robe provided by the hotel. “Better?”

  “Much. I can’t seem to think straight when you’re around, let alone when you have no clothes on.”