Nothing to Lose [Blackhawk Brothers] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)

by Lavada Dee

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mother get up to come after him and Grant standing and pulling her into his arms.

  One day down and a lifetime to go.

  Chapter 13

  Early morning light filtered through the bus window. Galynn shifted in her seat, thankful the long night was finally over. She glanced around at the other passengers, some waking up and others still slumped in their seats. Oh how she envied them. She hadn’t been able to do more than doze for a few minutes at a time, and she felt so tired she was almost rummy.

  The loudspeaker came on, sounding overly loud in the sleeping bus. The driver announced “Johnson Pass, Wyoming” and that there would be a forty-five-minute breakfast break. She wasn’t hungry, but a cup of coffee sounded like nectar of the gods.

  Galynn stepped off the bus. The wind blasted against her, and she fought the urge to return to her seat. Instead, she pulled the fleece jacket up to cover her ears. The cold air burned her lungs. There was a coffee shop inside the station, but she could see a well-lit café across the street and halfway down the block. She hesitated. The station would be crowded, but they were used to filling orders quickly. When a big guy pushed ahead of her, she made a decision and headed down the street.

  It felt colder here than home. With surprise, she realized that even though she’d only been in Cooper’s town a few weeks, it would always be “home” to her. She lifted her head and took in the snow-covered mountains that reminded her of Blackhawk and made her ache with homesickness. A sob lodged in her throat. She bit it back. Will these blasted tears ever stop?

  She pushed open the door to what the sign announced as “Ruby’s Café.” Welcoming, warm air hit her, and she hurried through the door to keep it from escaping out into the cold morning. An older woman that looked like she could be cast as everybody’s grandmother grabbed a menu and the coffeepot. She motioned to a booth along the wall. Galynn slid into the seat, facing the windows so she could watch the bus. If people started coming out of the station, she’d know to hurry back.

  The name tag just over the lady’s breast read “Ginger.” With a smile, she poured coffee and put the menu in front of Galynn. “From the bus?”

  Galynn nodded. “It looked pretty crowded in the station.” She wasn’t hungry, but the last she’d eaten was part of a bowl of soup the day before. Without looking at the menu, she ordered a couple of fried eggs with an English muffin.

  “Want some bacon or sausage with that?”

  “No, just the eggs, and if it comes with hash browns, that would be good.”

  The waitress turned in the order and leaned over the counter. There were only a few customers, and they were all older men. The waitress waved her hand over the room. “It’s pretty early yet for Johnson Pass. We open at six for folks starting work or driving through, but the breakfast crowd usually comes in around eight.”

  She pointed to a sign on the window. Galynn couldn’t see what it said, as the wording was directed on the other side, facing the street. When she didn’t answer, the woman sighed. “Don’t guess you’d be interested in a job? Can’t say that I blame you. It don’t pay much, but there’s a small apartment that goes with it.”

  The waitress came around the counter with Galynn’s order. “We lost our breakfast cook a couple of days ago. Her daughter had an accident, and she had to go help out with the grandkids. I understand, but it has left us in a mess. My Barney has been taking the morning off from the car repair shop to help, but his work is piling up over there.”

  Galynn liked to cook. She’d waitressed and cooked in a place a lot like this when she was in school. She looked toward the window where the food orders came out. A customer couldn’t see much of anyone in there. If Mick did come in, she’d see him, way before he’d see her. And he would never expect her to be working in a place like Johnson Pass, let alone cooking in a small café. This might be perfect. There wasn’t anything magical about Ogden except its size. She had no real reason to go there. Unbidden, the thought washed over her that she would be closer to Blackhawk, closer to Cooper here.

  When Ginger came back with the coffeepot, Galynn glanced out the window. The first passengers were filtering out the door of the bus station and boarding the bus. She would have to make up her mind fast. If she wasn’t going to stay, she had to get back over to the bus or it would be pulling out without her, and with her suitcase. Oh well, nothing to lose.

  Galynn grabbed her backpack. “I’ll be right back, and we can talk about the job.”

  Within a few minutes, she was back. The driver had given her a hard time in a teasing way. He’d told her to keep her ticket. If she changed her mind, he’d be back through Johnson Pass in a week and would take her the rest of the way.

  Ginger poured herself a cup of coffee and slid into the other side of Galynn’s booth. The few customers had left, so they had the place to themselves for the moment. “I’m hoping all this”—she waved toward Galynn’s suitcase that sat by the booth—“means you’re considering the job.”

  “Yes, I’d like to see how it works out. If it doesn’t, I can always continue on.”

  Ginger played with her cup, moving it in a circle. She looked like she was pondering her words. Galynn’s heart sank. Had she decided against giving her the job? If so, she could be sitting here for a week with nothing to do except think, and that’s the last thing she wanted to do.

  Ginger finally broke the silence. “We don’t ask many questions here, so I’m not going to ask you why a pretty, obviously educated young woman would want a job as a cook in a backwoods café.”

  Galynn interrupted her. “You must have had some thoughts. You brought up the job without asking if I had any experience.”

  A smile broke over Ginger’s face. “Yep, I did at that. I pride myself on my good judge of character, and, honey, you look like what you might lack in experience you’ll make up for in determination. Besides, you look like you could use a little help.”

  Galynn didn’t confirm or deny what Ginger said. Instead, she waited for her to go on.

  “So okay, let’s get down to business. Like I said, the cook’s pay isn’t much. A little more than the waitresses because they get tips, but still not what you’re probably used to.”

  “I’ll get by,” Galynn said.

  “The job comes with an apartment and a wage of nine dollars an hour. Can you get by on that?”

  Galynn nodded. She had enough money to last for a while, even without a job. This one would fit her simple needs. With an apartment, she probably wouldn’t have to dip into her own money at all.

  Ginger drained her cup and stood up. “Well then, let’s get you settled in. Barney, my guy, is in only to help out in this pinch, so could you start tomorrow morning? You’ll have the breakfast and lunch shift from six o’clock until one.”

  Galynn hoped the apartment was close. She’d decided to use her new identity cards when she left Blackhawk. She needed to start a new life, and now would be as good a time as any. She was tired of running. If, in spite of everything she’d done, Mick found her, she’d be the only one in danger. It was time to make a stand and let whatever was meant to be happen.

  She didn’t want to have to buy a car right away, but she knew she would need it sooner or later. If she needed it to get back and forth to the apartment, she’d make now the time.

  Ginger shuffled behind the counter and grabbed a couple of keys. She motioned for Galynn to follow her and hollered over her shoulder for Barney to watch things for a few minutes. Turning back to Galynn, she said, “The apartment is right above us. It has an outside entrance and one down this hall.

  The apartment turned out to be a lot bigger than Galynn had expected. The door opened onto a small entry with doors off it into a living room and kitchen. The bath and bedroom were on the other side of the living room. It was the same vintage as the café, and though it showed its age, it was neat and clean.

  Ginger walked over and lifted a blind that looked out over the str
eet. “We lived here when we first bought the café. It’s fully furnished with linens and dishes. I still sometimes stay here when the weather gets bad, or if I have to work split shifts.”

  Galynn followed Ginger to the window. From up here she could see people walking along the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. “You don’t rent it?”

  “No, too much trouble, and we still use it for ourselves and sometimes as a guest house.”

  * * * *

  Galynn sat down on the sofa with a sigh and drew in a breath. She had lit some candles, and the apartment smelled good. She had made three trips to the market down the street. It would have taken more, but on her first trip, the friendly shopkeeper had offered to have her purchases delivered. Not wanting to impose, she’d made sure she didn’t buy more than she could carry on the last two trips.

  She rubbed her back and stifled a yawn. Good, she’d be able to sleep tonight. The last full night’s sleep she’d had was up at the lodge with Cooper. She smiled, remembering how they’d spent that night. It hadn’t been sleeping. The smile played along her lips. When a sob threatened, she pushed it back. She would savor the memories they’d made. It was all she had, and more than a lot of women got.

  She’d bought an alarm clock on one of her trips to the store. If she started sleeping better, she’d need it to get up in time for work. She looked over at it. Wow, almost seven o’clock. Where had the time gone?

  She walked over to pull down the blind and noted the streetlights were on. Her stomach rumbled, protesting the lack of attention it had been receiving. Galynn hadn’t stopped to eat since the early breakfast downstairs. She didn’t feel hungry now either, but if she didn’t take care of herself, she would be sick, and that she couldn’t afford.

  She grabbed her coat and made her way down the outside staircase. She thought about using the inside route but decided against it. By going outside, she could break home from work. Instinctively, she knew she needed to keep herself insulated and the apartment a sanctuary.

  A feeling of déjà vu stole over her when she opened the café’s door. A scene almost identical to this morning, complete when the blast of warm air met her. There were only a couple of customers. They looked to be finishing dinner. Well, it was seven o’clock, and this town looked like it was one that shut down early.

  A young woman came out from around the counter with a menu. “We still have some of tonight’s dinner special if you’d like. It’s chicken-fried steak with all the fixin’s, including dessert.”

  When her stomach rumbled again, Galynn could have sworn it could hear the food selection. Smiling, she said, “Okay, that sounds good, and a cup of coffee.”

  Galynn opened the book she hadn’t finished at Cooper’s. She’d been so busy, and, well, to be honest, involved with him, that she hadn’t had time to read.

  She was on her own, safe for the moment. She needed to quit thinking of what might have been and be thankful for what she had. Here, her life would be nothing like it had been in Atlanta, but nothing like in Blackhawk either.

  She fought to keep sadness out. Again she reminded herself that she had so much to be thankful for. She’d concentrate on that and not on what she couldn’t have.

  She took the last bite and pushed her plate back as Ginger came out with a cup of coffee. She plopped down in the opposite booth, like she had that morning. “Did you get settled in?”

  A twinge of guilt assailed Galynn. She should have offered to work today instead of waiting to start in the morning. Taking Ginger’s comment as rhetorical, she asked one instead of answering. “You look tired. You didn’t work straight through, did you?”

  “Yeah, normally I put in around ten hours, but our dinner cook called in sick. We need to add employees, but this time of year they’re hard to find. The summer will be better. College and even high school students always need a job.”

  “I can take extra hours if it will help.” Galynn picked up her check, but Ginger took it from her hand. “Tonight’s on us. Welcome to Ruby’s.”

  Chapter 14

  Two weeks later

  The house had a fresh smell. Lucille had been in to clean, and that meant food in the fridge for dinner. Cooper’s stomach rumbled as if on cue. He kicked off his boots and set them neatly against the utility door. On the days Lucille came in to clean, he found it a little easier to come home. Still, it was almost like a model home where no one lived. “No one home. Apt description of how I feel,” Cooper mumbled.

  He pulled the casserole dish out and smiled at the usual note pinned to it. Lucille seemed to think he needed directions simply to reheat what she’d left. Absently, he opened the note. “I might as well get the temperature right since she goes to all this trouble.” Great, now he was talking to himself.

  His breath hitched. Mr. Cooper, the note started. I freshened the spare room today, and I think Ms. Lynn might have left you a note on the bed.

  Cooper muttered an oath and raced up the stairs. Night fell early this time of year, and the room was dark. If possible, it felt emptier than the rest of the house. He flipped the light switch, and the bedside lamp came on, illuminating the envelope laying on the pillow.

  Almost reverently, he unfolded her note.

  My Love,

  As I write this, I don’t know if it’s the best thing to do, but I can’t leave without a final good-bye. What I feel is so hard to put into words. I don’t even think there are words to tell you what’s in my heart. How can I say I love you when what I feel is so much more? I would have never known what making love was without your touch, scent, and sound. To know I’ll never experience this kind of love again in this life fills me with sadness. If there is a life beyond this one, I will search until I find you. Until then, you have my heart. Please live, find that someone who will bring a richness to your life that I could never give you. Live for both of us.

  All my love, forever.

  She hadn’t signed it. He turned it over, wanting more. He tried to reread it, but tears blurred his vision until he dropped his head in his hands and gave way to tearing sobs. This went far beyond crying. It was more like howling in anguish. He rocked back and forth, not thinking, only feeling the searing heat engulfing his body.

  * * * *

  Disoriented, Cooper rolled over on the bed and sat up. He must have fallen asleep, though he would have thought the pain would have prevented it. He picked up the note and read it again and again. By the third time, the pain in his chest had turned into a dull ache. He felt like an old man when he stood up and made his way downstairs. Shit, he could hear the TV. That meant Grant had come in and no doubt had witnessed his meltdown upstairs.

  Cooper stood at the door to the great room. Grant sprawled on the sofa with his stocking feet resting on the coffee table along with a couple of empty bottles of beer. Grant held up the one in his hand. “I brought over a case. They’re ice cold. Grab one and join me. Oh, and bring me another one back, too. You may not have resorted to drinking, but you’re driving me to it. And if Mom gets anymore worried, she’ll be taking it up, too.”

  “I’m sorry you had to witness that…”

  Grant waved his comment away. “Get that beer. There’s only a few seconds left in this game. You missed a hell of a one tonight.”

  A few minutes later, the game ended, and the news came on. Neither brother had said anything. Finally, Grant put down his beer. “What happened to finally break down the wall you’ve had up?”

  Cooper didn’t try to pretend not to understand what Grant was saying. After he’d let loose the day the bus had pulled away with Galynn on it, he’d shut down. He wasn’t hungry and didn’t need his family’s nagging or a scale to tell him he’d lost weight. Sleep held another problem. He hadn’t been to bed since that last night with her. When his body gave out, he’d nap on the sofa or recliner or sprawl out on top of the bed. Work helped. He’d gone down to Missoula with his dad and helped acquire the property. Since then he’d worked on the blueprints for the reconstru
ction of the old school. Work on the mall stayed on schedule, and he’d bid enough jobs to keep Blackhawk Construction hopping through the next year.

  These thoughts swirled through his head as he fought anger and frustration. He plunked down in his chair and handed an unopened bottle to Grant. “She left a note. I haven’t been upstairs since she left, so I didn’t know about it until Lucille cleaned up there today. I…” He leaned back in the recliner and brought out the footrest. “Hell, Grant, I don’t know. It’s like I’m only partway here. I’m functioning, but I’m not feeling. When I read the note I—”

  Grant interrupted. “Don’t! You don’t have to say any more. I wish I could take some of this pain from you, bro. They say time heals. I hope you’ve hit bottom and each day will get a little easier.”

  Cooper knew the smile wasn't much, but at least it held a little emotion. His family deserved better, and he vowed to make an effort to appear like he was healing. “Have you eaten?”

  “Hell, it’s almost midnight, Coop. I warmed up that casserole and ate. Still plenty left, and Lucille made a chocolate-cream pie. I waited for you on that, so what do you say we go for it?”

  Cooper didn’t argue. He was serious about putting up a facade for his family, and by heavens he’d do it, even if it killed him.

  Chapter 15

  Galynn pushed the start button on the huge coffeemaker. Wyoming people matched Montana in coffee drinking. Sometimes she wondered if the cups grew out of their hands. “Must be the weather,” she mumbled to herself. Lately, even the smell turned her stomach.

  Customers were usually pretty light until around eight thirty or nine in the morning, unless a bus came in. Even then, most of the passengers used the counter in the bus station. Galynn used the time to bake cinnamon rolls that were fast developing a following. Lately she’d added pies and cakes to her list. She’d just pulled the first tray of rolls out of the oven when she heard Ginger call out. With a sigh of relief, Galynn answered back. She was always glad to see someone come in to take over the waitressing. The mornings were mostly coffee and maybe a pastry. It made it easy to do both the cooking and wait on customers. She didn’t mind, except for being so visible. Ginger came into the kitchen with a smile on her face. She always seemed so happy. Galynn didn’t know how the lady kept going with the schedule she kept.